Note: All of the stories posted here are directly related to my fanfiction That Butler, Beautiful Chaos. They're "extra chapters" which basically means that I thought of them after having finished writing or they got cut. I suggest reading That Butler Beautiful Chaos before reading any of these.
That night when Ciel insisted he was exhausted, he really meant it. After a day of shopping and wandering in town with Elizabeth and another dinner-less night due to Lizzie's insistence of heading straight to bed he wanted nothing more than to sleep. So he lied with his back to Lizzie, buried under blankets despite the high temperatures of the room.
When arms wrapped around him he allowed it, imagining it were Sebastian holding him rather than Lizzie; that her hands weren't so warm but rather ice cold as marked left feather light trails across his stomach and her golden curls tickling his neck were the demon's raven locks.
"Elizabeth," he murmured, having had enough of the charade, "what are you doing?"
She didn't reply, but rather kissed the back of his neck, her breath puffing against his skin in hot waves. Hoping she'd be content to just sleep like this, he placed his hands over hers and accepted her snuggling.
"It's hot, Ciel," she said.
"Yes, I know. It's called summer."
"Hm… It's stuffy in here, isn't it?"
"A bit. But the window's open, right?"
He could feel her shrugging. "I wish I didn't have to wear this bulky nightgown."
Ciel was silent for a moment. "Elizabeth…"
"And aren't you feeling a bit warm wearing such a thick cotton shirt?"
"No…? I haven't even-"
"I'm already practically asleep, Elizabeth. It's too late for this."
"We're only going to be here one more day, Ciel."
"A lot can happen in a day."
"But, Ciel…" She tried to move her hands downward, but Ciel kept a tight grip on them.
"Stop it, Elizabeth! I said not now."
"It's bound to happen sometime, you know. Why are you so insistent on putting this off?"
"Because I don't want to."
"Stop acting like a baby!" she said.
"Stop acting like a whore and maybe I'll consider it."
Elizabeth stiffened and Ciel's heart leapt into his throat. That wasn't what he'd meant to say. He sat up quickly, turning to look at her. "Elizabeth… I don't mean that! I'm sorry-"
"You always mean it, Ciel," she said harshly. She wasn't crying. In fact, she didn't even look sad. Just seething mad and annoyed. "Why are you so awful?"
"I swear, I didn't think about it and it just slipped out!" He felt stupid insisting on this; like he was submitting to something he shouldn't. "That was cruel and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, though, I promise."
She glared at him, her green eyes hard. "I get it," she said. "You don't want to do this with me. You'd rather settle for a real whore, wouldn't you?"
"It's not just you, Elizabeth! I just don't want to-" He dropped off. Did he mean that? Or was it that he really just didn't want to do this with Elizabeth. "I… I'm not… ready…"
Elizabeth made an odd face. "You're eighteen and married on your honeymoon, Ciel. If you can't do this now when will you ever?"
He was silent, refusing to look at her but rather focusing his gaze on an uneven floorboard.
Lizzie place a gentle hand on his cheek, turning his face toward her. "Are you scared?" she asked.
"O-Of course not!"
She smiled a bit, kissing his cheek delicately. "I'm scared too, Ciel. But I love you, and I know this is right. So why don't you just trust it?"
Ciel thought of Sebastian. If it wasn't for him, would he have given in to Elizabeth by now? Or even sooner than now? He felt an strange sense of misplaced guilt. He had to stop and wonder for a moment as to whether he was betraying Sebastian or Elizabeth by thinking these things.
Elizabeth then kissed his mouth, her lips soft against his. They'd kissed many times by now but it still seemed very strange and different and just… wrong. Nonetheless, he kissed her back and held her waist like he was supposed to; he was playing the part of the reluctantly loving husband Lizzie seemed to think he was.
She had definitely gotten better, though it still seemed very messy compared to kissing Sebastian. Ciel tried to return the kiss with the same enthusiasm, holding her gently and caressing her, moving his mouth in synch with hers. If this was what Sebastian was doing whenever he and Ciel kissed, Ciel couldn't help but wonder how he didn't get bored. It was a lot of work and very dull to act as if you love someone you don't.
Elizabeth's fingers moved to unbutton Ciel's nightshirt and he let her. How far this would go he wasn't sure yet, but for now he just allowed things to run their course. Moments later the shirt was discarded and Lizzie's fingers were quick to explore his body, new and alien to her. Ciel fidgeted, unsettled by it. His eye stung behind his eyepatch – which, thankfully, Lizzie hadn't tried to untie – and he knew it wasn't going to stop all night. He was no more allowed to give away his body than he was his soul. He hoped that he would get sick and they'd have to stop, but the nausea didn't come and the stinging faded almost into numbness. He would have no such luck.
Lizzie's hands were warm against his skin but he still felt his body wracked with shivers at her touch. He flinched when she moved her mouth to his throat and licked his collar bone. It seemed that whether it was Elizabeth or Sebastian he wouldn't ever have the upper hand.
Finally, he pushed her away. "Elizabeth," he said sternly, "stop." He knew if it had been Sebastian he would have been stuttering and breathless. But that just wasn't the case right now.
"Give me one good reason why we cannot do this right now other than 'I don't want to.'"
He was silent, and Elizabeth knew she had won. She wound her fingers through his hair and leaned into him, kissing him again, though more slowly. It was going to be a long, drawn-out night, Ciel knew. But there was no way to prevent it and no reason to stop it unless he wanted to say "I belong to Sebastian," which was unacceptable.
Sebastian spent the night in agony, wishing for once that the contract had not woven him to Ciel in such a way. He could always see Ciel, sense what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. And tonight he was feeling a lot. Sebastian wanted nothing more than to burn both Ciel and Elizabeth in their bed – which, he knew, he would have to clean tomorrow – but instead sat alone in the kitchen and washed the already cleaned dishes and ordered everything alphabetically, then tore it all apart and organized everything in numerical order, then tore it apart again and reorganized it differently. Feeling murderous and infuriatingly jealous, he gave up and slammed a jug of milk onto the counter to sour before stomping out of the kitchen.
He had to struggle to keep himself under control as he fled the house in a rage, sure that his absence would go unnoticed seeing as his master was preoccupied and his mistress was the one busying him.
His mistress. He hated the sound of it. Elizabeth would never be his mistress, no matter what name she went by or who she married. She'd never be more than a nuisance – a terrible, bothersome thing he had to cope with.
He was in some unrecognizable place when he heard his name, soft and teasing in the corner of his mind, the one place that was flooded with many of Ciel's thoughts. It wasn't exactly telepathy, but more of an awareness he had of his master. Sebastian froze, staring straight ahead at a wide-trunked oak.
Maybe this was worth listening to…
Sitting against the trunk of the oak Sebastian focused, listening to that tiny part of his mind that seemed more and more important with each day.
And there it was again: his name, plain and simple, in the midst of doubt and embarrassment within his lord's thoughts. Ciel was thinking of him. The overwhelming jealousy was back, and he wanted so, so much – more than he had wanted anything – to be there with Ciel rather than Elizabeth. Because that was a right he deserved as Ciel's loyal servant and the one he clearly loved. Not his cousin, a girl whom he didn't care for as a wife or lover.
All it would have taken was a few alterations to the contract and it would be him there with Ciel rather than Elizabeth. If only he'd known this seven years ago.
He pulled his fingers through his mess of black hair. It needed to be trimmed again, but he had been reluctant since Ciel had made such a habit out of pulling it when Sebastian kissed him.
Leaning back against the oak, he listened to his own name, the only thing he wanted to hear, and imagined that he was actually there in Lizzie's place where he deserved to be, where he belonged, rather than an inconspicuous intruder on the undeserved moment.