Hey hey what's up. This is DJ Pon-3 blasting out all those tunes you know and love so well. I got a request here for some Equestria Girls. Hit it boys.
And remember, this is DJ Pon-3. If I said it then you better believe it, because I'm the pony that never tells a phony.
Not that it matters any more. It's not like anyone actually listens to this radio station any more. Not ever since He took over.
I don't know whether it's a gift or a curse, being unable to tell a lie. Ever since I could talk it was one hundred percent truth. Why I became a DJ I'll never know.
Actually, I do know. It's because I want people to hear the truth. Too often the media lies to you, distorts the truth to fit how they want to see things. Did you hear how they tried to cover up the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco as a hoax. Well I was the MC that night and I can tell ya for a fact that it really happened.
Or how they tried to pass off the Gala as some sort of grand success. Ha, yeah right. It was a total disaster and yours truly got the front row seats.
I tell the truth, even when I know I shouldn't. Even when I know it means I won't have many friends because of it. Still don't. Just me and my records.
That was Equestria Girls, what's next on the play list. Oh you're gonna love this one, just in, Good ol's Days by The Living Tombstones and others. Wait till you hear this one.
Where was I? Oh yes, never being able to lie. Yes, I won't lie and say it's a blessing. It has cost me many a time. I only got this job because I'm the only one that knows how to work the turntables I invented.
It's how I got my Cutie Mark, you see. One day I was minding my own business when suddenly a brilliant idea struck me. A way of spreading music to people far and wide. A way of blasting out something new, not that lame old classical stuff.
(Although Octavia, darling, if you're listening to it. I'm not saying your stuff is bad. Just... outdated. Not with the hip new times).
So I got to work and soon I had a working turntable, complete with speakers and everything. It really was quite awesome. It was when my Cutie Mark first appeared that I realised that I had found my true calling.
So now I'm not the just the best DJ, I'm the only DJ. While the squares are still out there with your newspapers I'm hitting it up with the latest beats and the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth.
I'm not allowed to speak at events any more. Too many problems. Instead I just got to sit quietly and play the music. But no one can take me off the airwaves.
Except Him. I don't know if the radio waves even work any more with Him around interfering with them.
He once ate them in front of me. The actual waves. Took all the music clean out of the air. Then he ate the record to boot before giving me another. A song of his own creation. He forces me to play it continuously. Now and then I'm allowed to deviate and play something different whenever he's... occupied. I just hope it isn't another visit to the graveyard again.
That took several long nights to sort out.
And a steady hoof.
Well, looks like I have the time to take a call. You on the air with DJ Pon-3. If I said it then you better believe it, because I'm the pony that never tells a phony. What's your name?
Trixie? Oh I remember you. That unicorn that did that stage show. It was impressive stuff.
Element of Honesty? Well, sure. I suppose I am pretty honest. Never told a single lie in my life. Never have, never will.
Join you? Join you on what?
A crusade to stop Him with the Elements of Harmony? Filly, are you out of your mind? In Princess' Celestia's star pupil and all her friends couldn't stop her. What makes you think you got a chance? You have a snowball's chance in the desert, that's what you have.
You want me to tag along? Well I don't know. I may be honest, but that just means I don't think we have an inch of a chance. I think it's foolish.
Hang on a sec, I need to line up the next song. And it's...
Well it's His favourite song, Discord by Eurobeat Brony. If I hadn't heard it enough times already.
So my choices are either to join you on a fools errand that is going to result in failure and the consequences that come with it, or stay here and listen to His song again?
Where do you want to meet up?
This is DJ Pon-3, signing off.