"Lay your weary head to rest(don't you cry no more.)"

a Supernatural fanfiction

Dean x Cas

It's funny how

the walk of life

can take you down without a fight

He never meant to fall in love with him.

It's not like anyone ever really means to fall for anyone, but it definitely wasn't anything Dean had glimpsed in his foreseeable future.

But damnit, after years of blue eyes, too close calls, profound bonds and "I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," well, who in their right mind could even think to resist?

Cas had him hook, line, and sinker.

Dean didn't mind.

He hadn't expected to fall in love with him. But then, maybe he did.

Either way, no regrets. Ever.

But just one. That he hadn't been able to protect him.

So many years

can lay behind

regretfully until it's time

Dean tilted his head up and back to face the sky. It was a brisk april evening and he could feel the beginnings of a spring storm brewing in the atmosphere.

He wouldn't be around to see it through.

He wondered what the angels were doing, whether any of them remembered or mourned Cas, Gabriel, or Balthazar, even Raphael.

He thought about Sammy, what his slice of heaven looked like, and whether he had joined Gabriel up there. His heart seized in his chest at the thought that maybe he wouldn't get to see him again up there but then he thought, "Like hell. I'll tear down Eden's gates and throttle God myself."

He thought about Bobby and what fine brands of alcohol he would surely have gracing his no doubt vast and heavenly collection, what he and Crowley talked about as they sat and drank together and how Crowley managed to make his way up there to see Bobby. He was sure the king of Hell had his ways.

He thought of Cas.

He wondered if he had gotten the hero's welcome home he deserved, wondered if he'd even have wanted it after everything his heavenly family had and hadn't done. He wondered if Cas thought of him as often as he still did him.

He wondered not for the first but for the last time what he had done right to deserve such a creature and where he had gone so terribly wrong as to warrant his being taken away.

He wondered if Cas had had any idea just how much he loved him.

The dark clouds overhead opened up and the sky wept. He wondered if it was for him, for the ones he had loved and lost, or for what he was about to do.

The skies wept and Dean knew it was time.

I'm coming home

to breathe again

to start again

The cliffs Dean and the Impala now sat on hovered above a dark and roiling sea, driven mad by the raging, wailing storm and he imagined they shook the very cliffs, calling for him and clamoring for him to come and join it.

A single tear found its way down his cheek and gently he brushed it away. The time for crying was past.

I'm coming home

from all the places I have been

with nothing but the voice within

that calls me

calls me home

"I am Castiel."

"I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean gripped the steering wheel and gave the Impala one last fond look.

"Sorry, baby. One last ride, yeah?"

"I'm hunted. I rebelled and I did it - all of it - for you."

Turn the key in the ignition.

"Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space?"

"...My apologies."

"Cas, I..."

"You've gotta trust me on this!"

Deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm just - I'm not very good at this, Cas."

"Come to bed, babe."

Foot poised over the acceleration.

"You make me feel, Dean. I love you more than I can even comprehend."

"...I'm gonna kiss you now, Cas."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Cas, please, please. Don't do this."

I'm coming home

to breathe again

to start again

A shuddering breath, a whispered thank you, goodbye, I'm so sorry.

"I'm coming home, Cas."

I'm coming home

from all the places I have been

The impala soared over the bluff's edge and plummeted gracefully until it met the ocean as it reached up in warm welcome with sweet, cold arms.

With nothing but the voice within

that calls me...

Dean Winchester died with water in his lungs, five names in his heart and one on his lips.

It was a Thursday.


I'm so sorry, I was struck by a wild plot bunny with powers like Thor and, of course, the unapologetic Angstmonger Queen cannot say no to such an idea.

Also, if you understand the significance of the very last line, I am SO SORRY. I was aiming for maximum emotional crippling and devastation and I felt that anyone who got that would feel it right in the feelings. I am an unrepentant sadist as well as an emotional masochist.

Songs I referenced, used, and listened to in the making of this fic:

Calls Me Home ~ Shannon Labrie
Carry On My Wayward Son ~ Kansas
Place de la Republique ~ La coeur de pirate