Disclaimer: I don't own Yes Dear nor do I own Two And A Half Men
Greg was pacing back and forth. His heart was pounding as he was pacing.
"I can't do this," Greg said, "I'm the cool one and now I'll never be the cool one again if I do something like this."
"First of all right now you're not the cool one. You're the whiny one and secondly calm down man. Just do what I did. Fake it."
Greg looked at Jimmy.
"You faked it?"
"Sure," Jimmy said, "Just a little table banging and I taught Dominick to fake cry and it was all a non issue after that."
Jimmy and Greg looked up to see Greg's friend Alan. They had taken the boys to the park and Alan was there with his son Jake.
"Yeah," Greg said, "Dominick was lying all the time so Christine and I thought we would get tough but then Dominick said something that stopped me in my tracks. He asked me why it was okay for me to lie but he couldn't lie."
"So you set an example to him by lying about telling the truth," Alan said, "I mean if you didn't want to do it why did you lie about not doing it."
"Come on Alan," Jimmy said, "You were married before. Who wants to listen to his wife nagging at you or saying 'I told you so'.
"You have a point," Alan said, "But I still think you did your son a great injustice by teaching him that it's okay to be dishonest when you were trying to teach him to be honest. I mean you could have had him get tough with you."
"Oh please," Jimmy said, "Dominick has the strength of a peawee pad"
"You know what I mean. The point is that you should never be dishonest with your children. Just talk to them."
"Right. Sammy, your sister was killed going near the water so you shouldn't go near the water alone anymore. That'll go over real big," Greg said sarcastically, "We never told Sammy about Samantha"
"You named Sammy after Samantha. That would be like me naming Jake Murryboe after Merribeth," Alan said.
"Well having been through tough times myself I can tell you this much. Women can be psycho," Jimmy said.
"The point is be honest. Communicate. It's what I do."
"You never act hurtful," Greg asked Alan.
"Not intentionally but I have unintentionally hurt Jake. Charlie and I used to joke about him being... well he's less then smart and he can be kind of lazy. Anyway he took those comments to heart."
"Well gee there's a shock for you," Jimmy said sarcastically.
"Look the point is you talk to Sammy and you tell Christine the truth. Trust me when I say you will never regret doing that."
"You don't know Christine," Jimmy mumbled.
"I know Judith," Alan said.
"My ex wife," Alan explain, "Queen of the nags."
"That about sums up Christine," Jimmy said, "But I love her"
"Well if you love her be honest with her," Alan said.
"What," Christine asked, "You think I didn't know that? Jimmy that fake cry was the same one you used to convince me to let you go to the strip club. I never called you out on it because whatever you did it seemed to work. So if you're doing something right why make an issue about the other things?"
"I love you Christine," Jimmy said, "And Alan was right. I'm glad I told you the truth"