A/N-This is my first Bleach fanfiction, so please tell me what you think by reviewing! This is based after manga chapter 423 and before manga chapter 459.
That's what he was. Lost, without the will to find the way back home.
It's only been a couple of days, and he already feels suicidal. But he knows that Rukia is probably watching him right now, demanding him not to do anything stupid. That was one of the things that bothered him about this new life. He should be the one watching her, not the other way around. Not this way.
He leaned against his bed, wound up in his own rambling thoughts. It seems as though he can actually feel her presence again, but cast that possibility away. All his spiritual power was sucked out of him, anyway, so there was no chance of that being true.
He recalls what he had said to her during their last encounter. 'Send them my regards' and 'thank you'. Stupid. He should've taken those few minutes to tell her what she means to him, or at least say something more thoughtful. He was never one to be all emotional during goodbyes, but Rukia was something more to him.
A blur captured his attention. He looked at it more closely and concluded that it was a butterfly. A small, black butterfly that had entered through his open window and found its way into the rest of his room. He didn't even bother to chase it out, because of the memories it reminded him of.
He sat up upon his bed, watching it fly around his room.
'Rukia…' His thoughts trailed off, being replaced by the beauty of the insect. When the shinigami entered his room on the first night they met, she was in the form of a little black butterfly. Another thought occurred in his mind. Could this butterfly be her? He shook his head. That was impossible. She was gone, and he had to learn to accept that fact.
He studied the butterfly a bit more closely. Its beauty was undeniable, but that wasn't what made him jealous.
It was the way that it could move around without a care and…be free. He wanted to be free. He wanted Rukia back.
He threw himself onto his bed again, realizing that staring at the butterfly was not helping at all. In fact, it was making his problem worse. He allowed himself one last glance at the butterfly. It was in the far corner of his room, seeming as if it didn't want to come any closer to him. Then it wobbled as it flew and left through the same window.
He sighed, knowing now how much of an idiot he was. That butterfly let him realize his mistakes.
One day he'll be free like that butterfly.
One day Rukia will come back for him and he can tell her what he had wanted to for so long.
One day he won't be lost anymore.
That's what he was. Lost, but with a will to find the way back home.
A/N-Yes, Ichigo was OOC, I know. But heck, it was fun to write! It's my first Bleach one (as mentioned before) so please tell me what you think! Please Review!