"Love Can't Run"
*I just want to make a quick note that in this story the plane crash never happened. In my world, no one died and Lexie is still in love with Mark…. :)
She had to get out of here. Screw trying to be happy. She was slowly suffocating and the "happy" facade she had been trying to maintain all night was failing her.
"Excuse me, I've got to use the ladies room." It was a pathetic excuse, but she had to get away.
As she slowly got up the table, she could see the immense look of concern radiating from Jackson's face.
She could fool most of the people at the table, but if there was one person who could see right through her facade it was Jackson.
As she quickened her pace in the direction of the ladies room, it wasn't long before she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder.
"Jackson, I have to use the restroom. I might be helpless and pathetic in many other areas, but I can use the restroom without your assistance."
"April, you and I both know that is not why you left the table. It's ok, you don't have to pretend anymore. Say the word and you and I will be out the door."
Deep down, April knew Jackson had nothing but the best intentions. He had always been protective of her and for that she was very grateful, but right now all it did was make her angry. She didn't need him to rescue her.
"Dangit Jackson, stop it! Just stop, ok! I don't need you always coming to my rescue. I know I am pathetic ok? I failed my boards, I'm a disappointment to Jesus, to my parents, to myself…
I don't need you constantly feeling sorry for me and feeling the need to rescue me! I know it may not seem like it, but I can take care of myself."
Surprised by her sudden outburst, Jackson knew he had to tread carefully.
"April, look at me…..
The tone that resonated through his voice was calm, yet firm.
Knowing he wouldn't back down until she complied, she slowly turned to face him.
Gently cupping her cheeks, he spoke; His blue eyes meeting her brown.
"You are not a disappointment. If you want to pick an adjective for what you are, it is definitely not, "disappointment." You are smart, beautiful, funny, loving, hardworking, quirky, and sometimes a little, neurotic, but you April Kepner are definitely not a disappointment. Do I need to keep going? Because I will….."
She couldn't believe what had just transpired. Had a guy, scratch that, a person just named off all the endearing qualities about her?
For as long as she could remember she had always been thought of as the "weird one" or the girl who referred to her farm animals as friends. She had never had anyone care enough about her to name off adjectives to describe her; and good ones at that.
With all that had happened between them, it had become abundantly clear to her lately that Jackson wasn't just her best friend. He was much more than that. With all the guys she had dated in the past, which were few, they had never made her feel like she felt when she was with Jackson; the butterflies, the way her heart skipped a beat when he entered the room, the ways his blue eyes sparkled when he looked at her. No one ever had managed to make her feel that way. No one but Jackson….
The realization that he was leaving for Tulane in a few weeks was also at the forefront of her mind. Her best friend and the guy she was beginning to fall in love with was moving 2,000 miles away and there was nothing she could do about it.
She was suddenly caught off guard when he begin to wipe the tears away that she didn't even realize were falling.
This couldn't happen. He couldn't keep doing this. He was leaving her to move 2,000 miles away. He couldn't make her fall in love with him and just leave.
She couldn't do this anymore.
Startled by her reaction to his touch, he started to get concerned.
Did he say the wrong thing? Touch her the wrong way?
With baited breath, he spoke.
"What's wrong April? What did I do? Please talk to me…."
She had to do this. She couldn't continue to let her emotions get the best of her. The sooner she said what she need to say the better.
"I can't do this anymore Jackson."
"You can't do what?" Jackson asked, confusion written on his face.
"I can't keep pretending. I can't keep pretending that you aren't moving 2,000 miles away, I can't keep pretending that I everything is ok, I can't keep pretending that I'm happy, when deep down I'm drowning inside, I can't keep…..I can't….
"April, what is it? What can't you do?"
After I few seconds passed in silence, Jackson decided to coax her again.
"April, please talk to me. What can't you do?"
Knowing it was now or never, she spoke.
"I can't keep pretending I am not in love with you!"
Her voice was so quiet and meek when she spoke, he wasn't sure if she had heard her right.
You're….. you're in love with me….?"
Seeing the shock and confusion registering on his face as he spoke, she knew she had said too much.
"I, I shouldn't have….I've got to go….."
As April frantically made her way out the door, Jackson tried in vain to call after her.
As she made her into a cab he knew he was too late….
"I'm in love with you too…."
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "Love Can't Run." I felt that GA ff had too little of Jackson/April ff's so I decided to change that. They are too perfect for each other not to write about.
I would love your feedback on this chapter. I still can't decide if I will leave this as a one-shot….
Thanks so much!