Dear Jackson

Hey babe, just doing my weekly check-in, but you probably guessed that right?

Well, whats new with me? Erm, works the same as always. Cain is still as miserable as ever (but we all know that's never gonna change!), Debs is doing well, her and Cameron seem happy. Sarah is doing better, still not great, but shes always smiling and never complains.

What else? Me and Mum are getting on better, it's hard, but we're trying. We'll get there in the end. Paddy and Rhona are good, little Leo isn't quite so little now, he's growing so much, as babies tend to do y'know.

Oh babe, "Just Say Yes" has just come on the radio. Do you remember that night? God, I can remember like it was yesterday. Everything about it was perfect; you were so patient with me. I was a nervous wreck (yes, I'm finally admitting it, I was nervous...took my time right?) and I know you knew, but you never brought it up, just let me be at my own pace.

Anyway, that song, it was ours. I still have that voicemail you left me, you know the one I mean. I listen to it occasionaly (that doesn't look right...is it 2 l's?) anyway, yeah, I sometimes listen to it. I mean it nicely, but you couldn't sing at all and the beer definitely didn't help either! But as you said, you wanted to "serenade" me because I "deserved" it. Don't think "deserved" was quite the right word! Man, I cringed at it at the time, but now, God. I'd do anything to have another one from you, just to hear your voice, to hear you laugh again and to hear you say I love you again.

I fucking miss you. I thought it would get easier, but it doesn't. Everything I see reminds me of you. I'd give anything just for one more day. Just to be able to touch you, hug you and kiss you one more time. I know I say it a lot, and you're probably fed up of it now, but why you? It's not fair (I can even hear you saying "Don't moan Aaron, these things happen."), but it's not. I know you believed in fate and everything, but I'll never understand this. You were one of the good ones and it fucking sucks.

Jeez, I haven't had one of "those" moments for a while. But yeah, I miss you, just in case you hadn't realised that.

Let's try a happier bit now! What else?

Your Mum text me the other day, she's off in Peru (I think, or somewhere in that general area), she seems to be ok. She wants me to go and visit her, said I'd love it there. It's weird her not being around anymore, but this is her way of moving on and I'm happy for her, I know you'd be too...as you said, she does love to travel! It would be great y'know, just to get away from the village for a while, to be able to clear my head and everything, but I'll always come back. No matter how much I moan and complain about the place. It's "home" and it always will be, and I don't think I could ever leave you.

I'm rambling now, so I'll end it here. Keep looking after me; you're doing a great job so far.

Miss and love you so much.

Love Aaron

xxx