Author's note: I decided to take a dip into the Avengers pool, and I nearly fucking drowned. I hadn't realized there were people shipping things that just-Ugh. Fandom bases have the weirdest people. Anyway, this is just a bunch of crack I wrote for the avengerskink meme on LJ.
Original prompt: 'I just really want fic where Steve just picks up Mjolnir like it's nbd (to hand it to Thor or something, idk and idc) and doesn't understand why everyone freaks out.'
"Thor, you can't keep leaving your hammer just anywhere. I've tripped over it twice already," Tony complained, kneading his injured pinky toe. "It's not like just anyone can move it out of the way."
Thor looked away from the TV where he was currently watching a show about a woman named Snookie, or something of the like. "I am sorry, man of iron. In Asgard, I've no worries of thievery, so I leave Mjolnir wherever I please. I did not realize that one might acquire injury from my thoughtlessness."
Tony snorted, his toe already regaining feeling. "Yes, well, not all of us have the strength and durability of a god, you know."
Natasha, seated on the sofa next to Bruce, laughed slightly at what was happening on the screen, which drew Tony and Thor's attention to the television.
The four members of the Avengers were so absorbed into the show that they missed Steve walking by to answer the door to pay for their pizzas.
"Uh, guys? Food's here." Steve stated.
That gained their attention. Bruce picked up the remote from his lap where it had been resting to pause the show. "Thank god. I'm starving."
Murmurs of agreement were heard as they each loaded their plates with pizza, and in Bruce's case, a small salad. After everyone was seated back in the living room, Bruce hit play on the remote before taking a bite out of his salad. Once more, they were absorbed into the world of reality TV.
Typical evening at Stark Tower.
Eventually, the program was over and they had finished their dinner. Small conversations were made as the team cleaned up after themselves. A team that fights together cleans together—or something like that.
As Steve began to make his way out of the living room, he nearly tripped over Mjolnir. Leaning down, he grasped the arm of the hammer easily and held it out to Thor, whose eyes were blinking back at him owlishly. "Might want to keep that out of the way, Thor. Someone could get hurt."
Tony, of course, was the first to say what everyone was thinking. "How the hell did you do that?"
Still holding the hammer out, Steve looked at Thor expectantly. "Do what, exactly?"
Thor came to his senses then, taking Mjolnir from the Captain's outstretched hand. "How did you wield Mjolnir?"
"Is this a trick question?" Steve asks quizzically, a puzzled look upon his face.
Natasha looked at him curiously. "None of us have been able to pick up that hammer. Not even Hulk could make it budge."
Tony looked highly jealous. "Not fair. At. All."
Steve looked at their shocked faces. "What do you mean? That thing can only weigh about twenty pounds at most."
Bruce nodded slightly. "Yes, but to actually use, or even be able to hold it, you'd have to have the power of Thor." Glancing at said demigod questioningly. He received a nod in return.
Steve looked amused. "So you're saying that I have the power of a god? Nice one, you guys. Maybe I'll gain Tony's ability to use all of those gadgets and electronics by the time I wake up tomorrow," he joked. "Anyway, I'm really tired, so I'm just going to head up for the night. Night everyone."
There is a collective mumble of 'goodnight'.
"I can't wait to tell Clint. He lives for moments like these. He's going to be pissed that he missed this," Natasha said, settling back into the couch.
"How in the hell…" Tony kept muttering to himself as he poured himself a bourbon.
Bruce shrugged it off and headed down to Tony's lab to finish some research, while Thor remained seated, holding Mjolnir.
"No other has ever been able to lift Mjolnir. How was the Captain able to do so?" Thor asked, wondering what this meant.
Natasha looked over at Thor, sensing his unease. "I'm sure it was nothing. Tony and Bruce can run some tests tomorrow."
Thor nodded, seeming appeased for the time being. He collected his red cape that had been draped over the couch and said goodnight before heading to his room.
Moments later, Natasha was snoring slightly. Not that Tony noticed. The genius billionaire playboy philanthropist was still mulling over the fact that Steve was apparently perfect enough to be worthy of a god's tool.
"Ugh. Not fair. At. All," he repeated his earlier words before downing his drink.
A/N: So, that's my take on the prompt. Yeah. For future reference, I only post my fics here, never on LJ, not only because I've got no fucking idea how to post there, I just like to keep my work in one area for all to see. Please review. :)