Okay everyone, I am Trying to update as much as I can while I still have time. So here we go, A story I have not updated in a while. So here is the next chapter of Naruto the one.
"So you really are my sensei? I honestly thought you were joking." Naruto said as Anko made a bit of a pouting face.
"Oh come on! When I have not been serious about something like this?" She said as Naruto dead panned.
"You told me once that I could be a ninja if I could sneak around the Anbu womens headquarters wearing a chibi fox costume...I was five years old! And I believed you!" He said as Anko lightly chuckled.
"But that was so funny, and If I remember correctly, some of the women weren't mad, but rather found you so adorable in that costume." She said as she imitated one of the Anbu members.
"That wasn't funny! Do you realize that if I was older, they would have either killed me for sneaking around, or possibly castrate me thinking I was a pervert?" He said as he shivered at what could have happened.
"But the point is that didn't happen, and you were completely fine...now where are those other two team mates of yours?" She asked as she was surprised that they hadn't shown up yet.
"I could have sworn I heard them coming from a mile away, they seemed to be causing destruction...by the way, why the hell did I get Sakura and Ino as team mates? I'm confused as hell here." He asked as Anko shrugged her shoulders.
"Trust me, I didn't want those two either, and its rare to have two kunoichi on a team, and only one male, while the norm is the other way around." She said as Naruto thought about it.
"Huh...that is true, I wonder why they do that." He said as Anko leaned against a tree.
"Probably because women are seen as weaker so they compensate by having two males and one female...which only is true for SOME women...women like me are just too bad ass to considered weak." She said as Naruto nodded at that.
"You know, that makes me think you're calling me weak since I am the only male on the team." Naruto said as Anko grinned at him.
"Oh I'm only teasing you, besides here come your team mates now." She said as both were now racing towards them.
"Who do you think will win?" Anko asked as Naruto thought about it.
"Eh, Sakura's got longer legs, but Ino has the stamina advantage...wow that sounded wrong...But my moneys on Ino." He said as they both came to a stop.
"I WON!" They both yelled as Naruto and Anko looked at their feet.
"Sorry Sakura, seems you lost by a hairs length." Anko said as Sakura screamed out in frustration.
"And there goes my hearing." Naruto said as he could have sworn they were now bleeding.
Okay, Blondie and Pinkie, get over here, and Naruto, stop bending spoons with your mind." Anko said as Naruto was now bending and rebending a spoon with his mind.
"HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!" Ino yelled as she couldn't figure it out.
"I already told you...there is no spoon." He said as Ino just grumbled, what the hell was that supposed to mean.
"Anyways, usually we have to do team introductions, but I don't believe in that bull crap, I read your profiles, and you all know each other, so lets screw that and get to the test!" She said as she stood up.
"Test? What test?!" Sakura yelled as Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"Simple, the three of you against me, right now, in this forest!" She said as she prepared a kunai.
"Against the three of us?! But we could hurt you!" Sakura said as Naruto spoke up.
"Nooo you couldn't." He said as she glared at him.
"What? She's a Jonin Sensei for a reason, if you think we can hurt her that easily, then that's ridiculous...also...you're kidding right? Since when is being a shinobi about careful?" He asked as Anko spoke up again.
"He has a point, plus being careful is no fun." She said as they all got ready.
"Anyways, each of you has to hit me once within in the hour. GO!" Anko said as she charged at Sakura first.
And one bitch slap and she was out cold.
Meanwhile Ino and Naruto just stared down at the body of Sakura.
"Did...you just bitch slap her unconscious?" Naruto asked as Anko looked down at her hand.
"It wasn't even that hard..." She said as she thought she may have killed the girl.
"Wow...uhm, maybe they put them on this team so that you could whip them into shape or something." Naruto said as Ino screeched.
"Are you calling us weak?!" Ino asked as he looked at her.
"No I am not." He said with a barely concealed sigh.
"I am though." Anko said as Ino charged at her.
"Ill show you weak!" Ino said as she got ready for a superman punch.
However that was soon stopped by Anko releasing a palm strike to her nose and back of her head. And like her pink headed team mate...she was knocked out cold.
"...Naruto...I'm sorry to say this, but you might fail this test." Anko said as she looked down at the two unconscious teammates.
"They didn't even give me time to explain to them my plans." He said as Anko raised an eyebrow.
"You had a plan all along?! What was it?" She said as Naruto smiled and picked up his two team mates.
"Spoilers." He said, and in an alternate universe, a curly haired woman was smiling in pride as she stole a motorcycle from a Nazi.
He then flew off as Anko sighed.
"Great, this means that I might have to put some work into this after all...oh well, at least I get my little brother on my team...but oh...I am going to have so much fun with his two team mates...MWA HA HA HAA!" Anko laughed in a tone that would make Orochimaru shiver.
MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE...I MEAN WITH NARUTO!
"Hey...Hey...Hey...Wake up!" Naruto said as he poured water on both of his team mates.
"Gah! Cold! Naruto what the hell?!" Sakura screamed but he covered both her and Ino's mouths.
"If you two shut up and let me explain my plan, we all just might pass this test." He said in a serious tone that intimidated the both of them.
"Good, now before you got knocked out by a slap, and before you lost your temper, I had planned to go over my plan with you two, but you both threw that out of proportion, so I had to come up with a new one, and I had to run away and wake you up." He said as Sakura looked at him.
"Does this have anything to do with the plan?" She asked as Naruto shook his head.
"Nope, just telling you girls that it was funny watching you guys get knocked out like Frazier vs Ali." He said as he let that slip.
"Who the hell are they?" She said as Naruto forgot that those two existed long before Ninja times.
"Sorry we're getting off track, now this test is obviously about team work, so we need to work as a team in order to get Sensei." He said explaining it as simple as possible.
"How do you propose we do that?" Sakura asked trying to remain calm.
"Well...Ino you got your mind transfer jutsu...but we would need to make sure Anko would be in range and in sight, so she would need to be completely still for that to work. How long does it take you to prepare?" He asked as she thought about it.
"Excluding hand seals, only about fifteen seconds." She said as Naruto nodded.
"Sakura, you and me will serve as distractions while Ino prepares the jutsu." He said as Sakura raised an eyebrow.
"But each of us are supposed to land a blow on her at least once, how do we do that?" She asked as Naruto face palmed.
"I'll get my hit early in, since I am used to training with her, I know her strengths and weaknesses...you can attack after Ino possesses her...and if Ino gets her with the jutsu, then I'm certain she'll pass her anyway." Naruto said, but then Ino spoke up.
"Wait a second! I have to get punched by Sakura?!" Ino said obviously not liking the fact she would get punched by her former friend and rival.
"LETS DO IT!" Sakura said getting giddy at the idea.
"Don't I have a say in this?" Ino said as Naruto looked at her.
"Do you have a better plan?" He asked as she shook her head.
"Good then lets do this." He said as they set off to find Anko.
They didn't have to look very far, once again Naruto knew Anko pretty well, so around this time of day, he knew exactly where to find her, and of course she was there. Right on her favorite tree branch drinking red bean soup and eating Dango, needless to say she was predictable when it came to food. It was like him with Ramen, although he liked to think he no longer acted like a crack addict whenever he ate it. He had to keep up his bad ass look, and engorging himself on ramen wouldn't be taken seriously. Anyways back to the story. Sakura and Ino were slightly miffed that their sensei was eating at a time like this, but they still got ready.
"Okay Ino, get ready, Sakura...prepare your fist." He said as Sakura got a shit eating grin on her face.
Ino groaned as she didn't like that thought, she was hoping that she could eject out of Anko's body before she got hit, but she wasn't that skilled yet. Anyways Anko let out a loud burp which shook some of the surrounding trees, and impressed Naruto.
"SURFS UP DUDE!" He yelled as he directed her attention towards him as she saw a flying kick coming her way.
"OHMYGOSH!" She thought as she dodged and saved her dango stick.
"Damn! You almost made me drop my Dango! Are you nuts?!" She said as she ate another dumpling.
"You really shouldn't be eating during the test, especially not Dango or red bean soup, didn't Itachi told you to cut down on that stuff?" He asked as she scoffed.
"I told him I'll cut down on this stuff when he cuts down on Pocky." She said as Naruto came swinging again.
"Fair enough." He said as he was throwing leg kicks and body shots.
Anko used her forearm to block one strike, but then he managed to get her in a standing guillotine choke, but she countered by grabbing his neck and right leg and throwing him over her shoulder. He then redirected himself in mid air, and when he landed on the ground, charged forward intending to use a double leg takedown. But Anko countered by throwing a knee, but he also countered by grabbing her knee and picking her up and throwing her onto the ground.
Right into the forehead, and he got back up.
"Tag you're it!" He said as she stood back up.
"That was a lucky shot Naruto!" She said as she rubbed her forehead.
"Geez, were you wearing brass knuckles or something?" She asked as Naruto was now eating a dango stick.
"Ooooh...this is so good." He said as Anko started to glare.
"Give me...my dango back." She said as Naruto was just chomping them down one by one." He was obviously using the dango as bait.
"I'm sorry, but its so tasty and delicious...oh look...last one...aahhhh" He said as he opened his mouth wide to eat the last one.
"NOOOOOOO!" Anko screamed out Obi Wan Kenobi style.
Naruto predicted her reaction right, she tackled him and straddled his chest trying to get her dango back. It was funny, she kind of looked like Smeagol trying to get the one ring.
"GIVE US THE PRECIOUS!" She yelled as Naruto was attempting to keep the dango away from her, but she was very persistant.
"INO! NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME!" He said as Anko looked up.
"Wait...wha-" She suddenly went blank faced as Ino took control.
"Hey it worked!" Ino said in Anko's voice.
"Yeah, now please get off of me." Naruto said as he ate the last ball of Dango...don't worry he had a way to make up for it when Anko woke up.
"HERE I COME!" Sakura said as she falcon punched Ino right in the gut.
"OWDAMNIT!" Ino said as she surprisingly doubled over in pain.
"Ha take that Ino pig!" She said as Naruto smacked her upside the head.
"Ow! What was that for?!" She asked as Naruto narrowed his eyes.
"We are a team, we do not take pleasure in harming our team mates, the only reason I let that happen is because I knew that at your current skill level, you would not be able to land a hit on Anko." He said as Sakura looked down in sadness.
"Ow! What the hell? Why does my stomach hurt?!" Anko said as Ino left her body and came out of the bushes.
"To sum it up, I distracted you, Ino used her mind transfer jutsu, and Sakura punched you in the gut...so does that mean we pass?" He asked as she stood up and looked at the three.
"I guess it does...wait a second...where's my dango? WHERE'S MY DANGO?!" Anko yelled as she looked around.
"Oh yeah, sorry about it, I ate it, but don't worry I got a way to make it up to you." He said as he held out a wad of cash.
"Hmmm...this will keep me good on my dango supply for a long time, okay you're forgiven, team meeting tomorrow at seven!" She said as she went to go buy more of her delicious treats.
"Where did that wad of cash come from?" Sakura asked Naruto as he looked into the sky.
"Let's just say it came from an old friend." He said as he walked out of the training grounds with the two girls quickly following.
MEANWHILE BACK AT HOME
Minato knew that Naruto borrowed some money, but damn he nearly drained his wallet. Seriously what the hell did he need that much money for? He suddenly saw that Naruto walked through the door, and he was intent on asking him.
"Hey Naruto! Uhm, Can I ask you something?" Minato asked as Naruto nodded.
"Well I know you asked if you could borrow money earlier...and I noticed how a large chunk of it is missing out of my wallet...so you took a lot...you weren't visiting any...adult places were you?" Minato asked as Naruto's eyes went wide.
"W-What?! No! I wouldn't do that! I May look older and act older then I am, but I don't want to get near those places...but now the money went towards a good cause...I gave it to Anko for her Dango craze." He said as Minato raised an eyebrow.
"No offense...but how is that a good cause?" He asked his son that he was trying to connect with a little more ever since he and Kushina were unsealed.
"Don't you remember what happened last time when she was out of money and the shop owner raised the price on Dango? She threatened to rip his testicles out through his ass." Naruto said as Minato did remember that...he was there when she did it.
"You're right that is a good cause...so how was your day?" He said switching the subject.
"Trying to squeeze information out of me? Very well...my day was...interesting." He said as he walked upstairs.
"That all I get?" Minato asked as Naruto spoke from upstairs.
"Remember, you still got to earn my trust back!" Naruto said as Minato nodded.
"Well thats progress...but what the hell are we going to do to have him trust us again? Eh...all you can eat ramen probably wouldn't work...no that wouldn't work either...that either." He said as he was trying to write down ideas.
Sadly, he still wasn't sure what to do, how do you connect with your son. But he was sure he would think of something.