~Life is...~


"Roxas?" I asked, even though I knew it was him. His blond hair, and that spark of defiance that his eyes always had... There's no mistaking it.

"Oh, hello girls." He smiled a salesman smile, and I felt my face heat up. Suddenly, my lap became very interesting. "What can I help you with?"

"Roxy! It's great to see you!" Kairi smiled back, and looked back at the menu. "I'll have a Lemonade Swirl, please."

"Okay, one Lemonade Swirl. Namine?" He turned to the blond.

"Some oatmeal cookies for me would be nice." She answered.

"Got it. Xion? What'll you be having?" My heart skipped a beat, my name always sounded so good when he said it.

"Surprise me." I said, and I wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Alright then, so we have one Lemonade Swirl, and an order of fresh Oatmeal cookies. I'll bring you what I think is best, okay?" The question was obviously directed at me, but I didn't know what to say. I feel like if I talk to him, I'll break down in tears.

"Be right back with your orders," he turned and left.

Kairi grabbed my shoulder when Roxas was out of sight. "Hey, are you ok? You reacted pretty strangely to Rox's appearance."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Suuuuuuure you don't," Namine winked.

"I'm back," Roxas appeared with a tray. Damn, he's fast.

He placed a cup with a pink drink in front of Kairi, Some fresh (I do not lie when I say that they smelled like heaven) cookies in front of Namine, and for last, he placed a plate in front of me. On the plate were three small cakes, or at least that's what I thought. When I looked at bit closer, I saw the icing oozing from the sides. Cream puffs, I thought.

"I thought you'd like these." He smiled and stepped back, waiting for a response. I took a bite, and the icing flowed out of the side of my mouth. I had to use all my will to not sigh in bliss; they were that good.

"Mmmmm, delectable~!" Kairi cheered.

"Delicious!" Namine added.

"They're really good..." I said. He smiled even wider. It's strange, even when he's smiling, he doesn't look like Ventus. His smile is a Roxas smile. Yep.

"I'm glad you girls like 'em. Oh, don't tell the manager I talk like that with you. I'm supposed to talk with a british accent."

"Oooo! Try it!" Kairi clapped.

"Are you ladies enjoying the food?" His imitation was spot on, and it earned a laugh from me. He looked at me and smiled back.

I miss when times were like this, before things were so complicated.

Back when I was free.

Roxas and I were torn apart by fate. But, I realize that...

I don't believe in fate anymore.

"Xi, your food..." Namine's voice. I looked around (Roxas had left mysteriously) and in my hand, the puffy delicacy had crumbled in my fist, the glaze dripping through my hands.


"Xiantelle, are you feeling okay?" Kairi asked.

"...No. I'm not okay."

"So let me see if I got it right: You're THE Xiantelle Caelum, you're a millionaire, and you're getting married in a month." Kairi stated. I nodded. It was already late, and we were sitting on the steps of the café warehouse.

"How did we not notice?" Namine questioned. "We're your best friends since forever!"

"It's not your fault," I said. "My parents have kept me from the public eye. My name was presented a couple of days ago."

"On the day of your engagement..."

"...With Zack Fair." Kairi finished. I nodded again; it seemed like the only thing I could do.

"Xi-Xi, why didn't you say no?" The blonde shook my shoulder; she was the rebellious one, of course this would upset her.

"It's my family, Nam. I can't let them down for my selfish needs."

"Selfish?! Are you calling the right to live how you want to selfish?! That is the most... Ugh! How can you say that? It's YOUR life!" Her screams were ringing in my ear.

"Namine, please..." Kairi begged. "It isn't the time."

"Oh, so WHEN is the right time to live? When you can't do anything to change what's going to happen? I feel so-"

I stood. I didn't want to hear her anymore. She doesn't understand. She's reckless and wild, can't she understand that life is not a game?!

That I can't fight?!

That I'm nothing but a puppet?!

That I can't do anything at all?!

I ran. Away from there, away from everything. I didn't care where, but I needed some quiet. Everything was too loud, too annoying. Namine and Kairi don't understand, Roxas doesn't understand. My family is depending on me, I HAVE to be perfect, do whatever they say.

My decisions don't affect me alone.

Every step I take makes an impact.

Mother and Father have hopes for me, hopes I want to complete.

Even if it means giving up everything.

My life was never mine to have.

I sat down in an alley, but I didn't cry. I didn't have any reason to cry. All I know is that I was swallowed by shadows, and my last thought was how blissful sleep truly is.


Raise your hand if you think I'm the WORST updater in the planet.

To you who raised your hand: Thank you for being honest.


-sigh- Welp, he's a new chapter. I was reading this story over, and I have to say that I hate it with a passion. I was thinking on re-writing it.

Meh... Review, if you'd like.

Thanks for stopping by... Have a nice day~