Title: Schrödinger's Catastrophe
Rating: T for Mature language, sexual innuendo and childbirth.
Summary: Leonard and Amy are both rushed to the hospital after getting into a terrible car crash. Their friends must wait at the hospital to find out if either is alive or dead. Sheldon and Penny are crushed by the news. Meanwhile, Raj and Howard must help a pregnant woman give birth to her baby.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to CBS and Chuck Lorre.
Note: This is my very first Big Bang Theory fan fic so any comments and reviews would be much appreciated so I can figure out if I'm on the right track with these characters.
The idea for this story came to me after a discussion online with other Big Bang fans about predictions for possible future episodes of TBBT. I've had this one idea in my head for awhile and decided to write a story about how Sheldon and Penny would react to the possibility of losing their two closest friends & partners forcing them to face their true feelings for Amy and Leonard once and for all.
I didn't want my story to be too sad or depressing because after all TBBT is a sitcom, so I included a humorous secondary storyline of Raj and Howard helping a pregnant woman give birth in the hospital to keep it lighthearted. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.
Chapter 1: The Zazzles Reappearance
Leonard shuffles his feet anxiously as he checks the time on his limited edition R2D2 collectors' watch.
Leonard: "Amy would you please hurry, Babylon 5 is on tonight and I don't want to miss it again."
Amy turns her head to look at him with her disapproving eyes.
Amy: "Leonard, I'm a lady so I know these things take time. One does not simply rush through choosing the right feminine hygiene products for her bestie. Penny asked us to pick up tampons for her and I intend to make sure she gets exactly what she needs. As her current boyfriend you should be more considerate towards these matters. Now do you think she'd prefer the Tampax Pearl or the Organic NatraCare?
She holds up the two boxes to Leonard's face and he sighs exasperated and embarrassed.
Leonard: "Uh the pearl ones I guess."
Amy frowns at him.
Amy: "Why? Is it because of the unique Leak-Guard protection and rounded tip that will provide easy comfort to every nook and cranny of Penny's cervix? Or do you just not care about protecting the environment Leonard? "
Leonard rolls his eyes at her and tries his best not to turn red when he notices a Walgreens stock boy in the next aisle starring at them.
Leonard: "Uh okay whatever get the organic ones."
Amy: "Well clearly you haven't spent as much time in Penny's bathroom as I have because if you had you'd know that Penny only uses Carefree. Perhaps Sheldon is right and you really do need to stop masturbating so much Leonard. It's obviously affecting your observation skills."
The store clerk once again looks up at them trying his best not to laugh. Leonard does all he can to avoid eye contact with the guy. Leonard quickly grabs a box of Carefree tampons off the shelf his cheeks red as can be as he glares at Amy.
Leonard: "Oh for Pete's sake can we just go!"
Amy smirks as Leonard heads for the front counter to pay. Brilliant as she is Amy has never quite understood her ability to make most people around her uncomfortable. Yet, she still loves hanging out with her new circle of friends all thanks to a chance meeting with a super lanky genius named Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. Thoughts of her wonderful new boyfriend envelop her mind as Amy follows Leonard to the front of the store.
Her eyes glance longingly as she walks pass the large selection of condoms, gels and lubricants that most couples would use to engage in coitus during their relationship. She sighs sadly knowing that despite her numerous attempts Sheldon claims to have absolutely no interest in sexual relations. Instead Amy looks for a brand new electric toothbrush from the Dental Care aisle and smiles as she selects her favorite.
"I think I'll call you Geoffrey," she whispers to it.
Amy brings the toothbrush to the front and hands Leonard some money to pay for it grinning happily as she does this. Leonard hands the money to the cashier and glances at Amy's unusual smirking face.
Leonard: "What are you suddenly so happy about?"
Amy: "Tonight is my date night with Sheldon."
Leonard: "Oh yeah I know. He's been yammering on and on all week about the two of you going to check out the new model train shop in Burbank. Penny's coming over after her shift so we'll finally have the apartment all to ourselves."
He smiles at the thought of making out with Penny on the couch.
Amy: "Good for you Leonard, but seeing as though Penny is currently experiencing her Menses do us all a favor and refrain from engaging in couch coitus. We don't want anything happening to Sheldon's spot because you of all people should know how much that upsets him. "
Leonard rolls his eyes at her again.
The cashier Dale smirks at them knowingly and Leonard now thoroughly annoyed grabs their bag and hurries back to the car.
Amy: "You know we really should get Penny's engine checked that light has been on for far too long."
Leonard looks down at the blinking light in the dash as he drives.
Leonard: "Amy, there's no time for that right now. We've already been to the shoe store, the dry cleaners and the drug store. I just want to go home so I can watch Babylon 5 and shower before Penny gets off work."
Amy: "Does Sheldon know you took his suit to the dry cleaners on Elm instead of the one on Pine St?
Leonard: "No, he doesn't! And there is no need to tell him alright?"
Leonard looks over at Amy sternly.
Amy checks the Walgreen bag in her lap one more time then starts to panic.
Amy: "Fiddlesticks, turn around Leonard! We forgot to get Sheldon's Red Vines and you know what will happen if we arrive without them."
Leonard: "Oh for crying out loud will this day never end!"
Leonard glances for on coming traffic then shifts into the left lane for the U-turn. The light turns green ahead so he turns the car around and hits the accelerator.
Amy: "Slow down!"
Her eyes bulge in fear.
Leonard: "Why? I'm under the speed li…." ,but before Leonard can finish his sentence he sees the cause of Amy's alarm a brown and black tabby cat right in the middle of the road.
He turns the wheel too fast and slams on the brakes. Amy screams while Leonard braces for impact.
Zazzles the cat stops in his tracks as the automobile ahead swerves violently into a street pole.
Afterwards, the cat runs into the nearby bushes and watches them in fear.
Leonard groans in pain as he pushes the large white airbag away from his face. He shakes broken glass from his hair then turns to look over at Amy.
His faces twists in horror at the sight of one long stream of blood winding down from her forehead to her shoulder and sticking to her disheveled hair.
Leonard: "Oh God! Amy! Amy, wake up! Please wake up!"
He rips his seatbelt off him and tumbles to the sidewalk doubled over in pain.
Leonard: "Help! Somebody help!"
It takes all of his strength to walk around the car, unlock Amy's seatbelt and pull her away from the car towards the grass. Leonard can smell fuel leaking and he sees the smoke from the engine ignite into a fire as cars on the road behind them hit the brakes. Almost as if in slow motion he instinctively rolls over onto Amy to protect her from the final blast before finally blacking out all together when a large piece of the car trunk flies off and lands right on top of him.
Zazzles the cat crawls out from behind the bushes and softly licks Amy's bleeding face as people get out of their cars and race to help them.