Whether near or far
I am always yours
Any change in time
We are young again
Lay us down
We're in love

-Panic! At the Disco-

"Come on."

Lily eyes fluttered open; she shifted off of her arm to see her husband standing next to her, his hand outstretched and a bemused expression on his face. Their cat, Alexander Bartholomeow, a rather thick orange tabby, jumped off his place on Lily's lap at the sight of such affection.

She laughed swiping the exhaustion off her face. Her dark red hair swept back in a messy bun, she eyed him warily.


"You know," He began dryly, "You would think after all this time you would just get on the broom."

"…Get on the broom?"

James groaned, "It's an expression. Come on, Lils."

"I'm always going to question you, James. It's why you married me."

The sunlight was streaming in through the door wall and it lit up James's face, warming his eyes and tanning his skin. Lily fought a smile but she didn't win, his hand remained in the air knowing that eventually she would take it like she always did.

"Fine." Lily grabbed his hand and let him pick her up off the loveseat. "Where's Harry?"

"Upstairs with Remus." James said flicking his wand to start the music. Then he took her hand and waist.

Lily grinned at him, leaned in and kissed him lightly, her lips brushing against his, her free hand curling around his shoulder. "You're not too bad, Potter."

"We could be married for forty years and you'll still call me by my surname."

"It has a ring to it." She mused.

He rested his lips to her hairline and every other beat he would smile. "I set up the decorations, Sirius and Peter are coming in a half hour so everything's ready for Harry's party."

"Good…I can't believe he's one." Lily wined, leaning into to his shoulder with a sigh.

"I can."

Lily said, "I just hope his next birthday we can actually take him out."

"What bright ideas, do you have for that?"

"We could take him to a Quidditch game or... I dunno, to a park? Something out of the house."

He pulled away and looked at her. Frowning he cupped her face between his hand and told her softly. "We won't be stuck here forever."

"I'm not worried about us." Lily admitted. "We've lived. We traveled on our honeymoon and we didn't just stay in the castle when we were in school… We've done…things. And I want that for him. I want…I want-"

"I know." He leaned his forehead against hers, "I know."

Lily breathed, "I know it's going to be okay. I know that we are going to get through this. Just. I worry."

"And I love you for it."

She kissed him firmly, her arms wrapping around his waist. "I love you too."

A few hours later; Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Sirius and Harry were in the backyard. Remus sat off to the side with Lily and Peter. While Sirius stood and watched James barbeque with his jaw locked.

"Isn't this cool?" James gestured. "You see, it cooks the meat without magic."

"Prongs, we have to talk about this." Sirius said in a low voice.

"I don't want to hear anymore about it, Padfoot." James said flatly, flipping the meat patty. "There may be someone leaking information, but it's no friend of mine."

"He's late to meetings, never hangs out with us anymore, he's quiet and withdrawn. I can't remember the last time he looked me in the eye."

James growled, "You are trying to find something that isn't there."

Sirius's lips curled. "Mate, you trust people too much."

"And you don't trust anyone at all." James countered. "Remus is our friend. He's been our friend for years. He wouldn't do that."

"Well someone is doing it. We have a mole. How else-?"

"Well stop pointing it in his direction. You saw him when he lost Dorcas. You really think he would work with the people that did that?" He turned to glare at him. "Do you?"

Sirius resigned, "I don't know what to think..."

"War does that to you… but you can't let it change you."

The unpleasant expression fled Sirius's face the instant his eyes locked onto Harry, who was wobbling up to James. "Do you think he's going to need glasses?"

"I hope not. It's a right pain to have them." James said, hiking Harry up high onto his chest, running his hand over Harry's hair. "He has her eyes so hopefully that include her vision."

"I'll never get over how much he looks like you." He said in a sentimental tone, a grin tracing his lips.

"Hey, mate." James smirked and kissed the top of Harry's head, as the one year old clutched the front of his shirt. "I guess the Potter genes are strong."

"UP! UP!" Harry insisted his fists rose excitedly.

Obeying his son, he hiked his son up onto his shoulders without a single beat of hesitation.

"How often do you do that?"

"Twice a day." James said as Harry took his glasses off his face and attempted to put them on his own face, though they didn't fit. "He also has broken my glasses twice this week."

Sirius didn't say anything for a few minutes; he just looked at the deliriously happy expression on James face. The summer sun beat down on them and breathed happiness, but Sirius couldn't see it. He felt the darkness that loomed around the house, hovered and lingered on the borders and no matter what front his best friend put up; he couldn't relax, not fully. He couldn't bare it. The idea that any of this could have been temporary, that any of it could be taken away at a moments notice.

His throat tightened and he said, "Have you thought any more about what Dumbledore said?"

"What with that charm?"


James picked Harry off his shoulders, took his glasses back and handed him to Lily, before coming back over to Sirius. He watched Lily bounce Harry on her lap and he sighed.

"We've talked about it."


"We want you to do it."

Sirius crossed his arms. "…Okay."

"We are going to get through this Sirius." James said filing the food onto a plate. "We will all be fine."

"I wish I agreed with you."

"Look at Lily with Harry." James told him, shutting off the barbeque. "Just look at them. Look how happy he is and tell me anything is going to be able to stop that."

Sirius frowned thoughtfully taking the plate James handed him.

James then clamped him on the shoulder. "Have some faith, Padfoot."

Sirius looked at Remus unsurely, but followed James to the table without another word. Alexander Bartholomeow hissing at him from under a lawn chair when Sirius got too close.

Remus leaned back, feeling Sirius's glare, he whispered to Lily. "You see?"

Lily scowled at him disapprovingly, taking a bite out of the salad on her plate. "It's in your head."

"…I don't trust him."

"How can you even say that?" Lily remarked in exasperation, "After everything how could you even think that?"

Remus looked to the side, as Sirius argued with Peter down the table about a Quidditch match, both of their mouths filled with food while they did so. His plate was left untouched in front

Harry wiggled in her arms, reaching for James. "Dada!"

Lily lifted him gently, planting several kisses on Harry's face before putting him on her husband's lap, where he sat contently. She then leaned forward and took Remus's hand under the table and quietly said. "You're not alone. You need to stop isolating yourself, it's making you paranoid…Relax."

He nodded distantly.

Lily squeezed his hand, and offered him a small smile. "Remus, you're home."

He considered what she said, and say that she meant the sentiment behind them, but when she looked away his face fell. The day was happening, they were celebrating, but it wasn't really celebrating the miracle that was clamped onto James's wrist. It was celebrating another day that Voldemort hadn't come to their doorstep, another day that they had survived longer than any of their friends.

"Lil," James said loudly, his hands interlocked around Harry's stomach. "Ready for the cake?"

She nodded, scooted her chair closer to James, handing Remus the camera, before lighting the candles. Lily pressed her face close to his while James stood him up on his lap, "Are you ready, Harry?"

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Harry! Happy Birthday to you!"

"Blow out your candles," Lily told him encouragingly.

Harry breathed hard with James and Lily, blowing out all of the candles and then he proceeded to wiggle around causing the cake to levitate a few inches off the table.

"Oh no! Harry put the cake down." Lily said trying to hide a snort.

James chuckled, using his free hand to reach for the cake to place it back down, but instead Harry dropped the cake splattering it everywhere. To which, Harry delightfully giggled and licked the cake off his own face. Lily fell forward snickering to herself, while James nodded to himself slowly.

Remus shook his head, the smallest semblance of a smile at the corner of his lips while he cleared up the mess with a wave of his wand. "He's so your kid."

James hugged Peter goodbye, ruffling his hair affectionately before turning to Remus. "Are you heading out too?"

"I have to get back. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going on assignment for a while."

"Weeks. Or months?" James asked, leaning against the doorframe.


James nodded solemnly before tugging him into a hug. "If you need anything let us know."

"Will do."

"Take care of yourself," James told him sternly, pointing at him.

Remus said, "I will. I'll see you when I get back."

"Good." James gave him a side smile, opening the door for him and clapping him on the shoulder.

In the kitchen, Sirius pretended to help Lily with the dishes, when really he was playing with Harry on the floor, rolling a ball to him.

"I'll send his present next week. I found him the perfect thing."

Lily eyed him warily, "It better be something fit for a one year old."

"So that's a hard pass on porn?"

She threw a towel at him but she missed and it nearly hit Harry. "Oh…oops!"

"Nice, Lily. Real smooth."

James stepped into the room, went straight to his wife. "I can finish up, if you want to get him ready for bed."

"Deal," She pecked him on the lips, kicked Sirius in the side before scooping her son up. "Come on."

"Mama, no," Harry said, his eyes growing big with tears as a pout settled onto his face. "Play, Pa."

"No," Lily told him firmly, collecting him. "You can play with Padfoot next time."

Sirius said, "You know I can take him."

"No," She said knowingly, "You'll just change and he'll get all excited and he'll never go to sleep. He's already had a long day."

Against Harry's frustrated protests she took him upstairs. James put everything away and slid down to the floor across from Sirius.

"When did we get so old?" Sirius leaned back against the cabinets.

"I dunno."

"Are you guys going to have another one?"

James's eyebrows raised. "Are children like chickens now?"

"It's not like you two have anything better to do. This is the first time I've seen you in weeks and I'm guess the guys haven't seen either of you in months either. Why not?"

"I'd rather not have another child until I can guarantee my first." James waited a beat before adding, "But I'll keep that initiative in mind when you leave."

"Francesko Francesco would approve."

"I'm sure he would."

They sat there for a few minutes in perfect silence. It was funny; when they were younger there was hardly ever a beat between them. Everything moved a million miles a minute and they barely ever stopped for a moment of fresh air. Now things filled the silence until they didn't really have anything to say that would overpower it. They just sat there, like they used to sit in the kitchen at James's old house, which had a kitchen quite similar to his current one. Mrs. Potter used to yell at them, tell them to sit at the table like civilized human beings, whereas Mr. Potter often used to double back and asked them if there was something more productive they could be doing. Sometimes Peter and Remus would come over, or Marlene would join them on the floor, sometimes not. But it was always the two of them, on the floor.

No matter how many things had changed, somehow that never did.

In fact they really should have never really been friends in the first place. Sirius should have been sorted into Slytherin, James should have never married Lily and their paths should never have merged, but they did. When James looked at Sirius, he saw everything Sirius would never be able to see about himself. How far he had come and how, despite everything, was still standing. And he was brimming with pride over just how much Sirius had grown.

When Sirius looked at James he saw something else. He saw his best friend living the life deserved, completely in love with his wife and… his son. Every time he was near Harry, he would light up in a way Sirius didn't even know was possible. And he couldn't even find it in himself to be jealous, or envious. James's happiness was far too pure and raw for him to warp into something petty or small. All he could do was watch in awe.

Sirius tilted his head to see the clock, before letting out a resigned sigh. "I should get going."

"Going to hit the bar?"

"Maybe later."

James nodded in return, running his hand through his hair. "I'll walk you out."

"Tell Lily I said goodbye," Sirius said, grabbing the door handle.

He nodded again, hugging Sirius with one arm, propping the door open with the other. "Keep in touch, Padfoot."

"I'll write, and let me know when you need me here."

"Be careful on that thing," James gestured to the motorcycle parked out front.

Sirius snorted, "You were the one that said I should get it. You said it would be a chick magnet."

"And as usual I'm not wrong, but still be careful."

Sirius let out a bark like laugh and rolled his eyes, "Bye, Prongs."

"Bye, Padfoot."

October 31st

Insomnia wasn't something James had experienced before Lily's pregnancy. He'd always been running around or doing something all day and would fall into a deep sleep nearly anywhere. Once Remus had to wake him up and force him to get off the Quidditch field even.

But once Harry was born, he had a hard time sleeping.

They were safe. Peter was their secret keeper for the time being, so there was nothing to fret about, but James couldn't stop himself from running through every scenario of what could happen in his head.

Running a hand through his hair, James grabbed his glasses off the bedside table and put them on. Glancing over, he saw his wife fast asleep. Her red hair was fanned out around her and her loose nightshirt was bunched up around her stomach.

James gently swiped the few stray hairs out of her pale face, and sighed. Even in sleep she was beautiful, but the sight of her didn't relax him, but he had an idea of what might.

Sneaking out of bed, James pulled on some sleeping pants, but didn't bother with a shirt. He simply walked down the hall to his son's room, and cracked open the door.

"Hey, Buddy," James muttered, seeing his son sitting up and look around. "You can't sleep either?"

Harry said, "Da! Da!"

"I'm here." James smiled, unable to help himself. He reached into his sons crib, picked him up and planted a big kiss to his son's cheek.

Harry giggled, squirming around in James's arms for a moment before James sat him down in a rocking chair with Harry in his lap. "Which one do you want me to read to you?"

Harry pointed at the green one, with a large tree and a boy on the front.

"Hmm… I've never read this one. Must be a muggle one." James opened it and said very clearly, "Once there was a tree….
and she loved a little boy."

Huddling into his father's shoulder, Harry put his thumb in his mouth and listened intently to his father's words. His green eyes fixed on his father's face.

Hiding had taken a lot from them. They no longer could fight, or do anything to prevent the war. They couldn't talk to their friends or associate with anyone in the outside world. But sometimes, in quiet moments like this, James didn't mind.

"'Well,' said the tree, straightening
herself up as much as she could,
'well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting
Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest.'
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy,"' James finished and found he had lost his audience.

His son was fast asleep; plastered to his just in the Quidditch onesie. James could have gone back to bed, or at the very least put Harry back in his crib, but he didn't. He held him for an hour longer, rocking back and forth in the chair rubbing his back and occasionally kissing the top of his head.

Eventually, he grew tired and tucked his son in. Being with his son for only a few hours was enough to soothe most of his worries.

In the hall, James passed Alexander Bartholomeow. The cat circled around his leg, with a small chuckle, he bent down pet the large tabby briefly, before heading back into this room.

When he returned to bed, Lily turned over in her sleep and hugged him, her head nestling into the crook of his neck. He let out a short laugh and with some difficultly, he took of his glasses and placed them back on the bedside table.

"I love you." He whispered to her, "I love you both, so much."

She awoke to the sound of his voice, her eyebrows crinkling together, "You okay?"

"Can't sleep." He shrugged sheepishly.

Lily stroked the side of his face. "Again? Want me to make you a potion?"

"No." His hand laid on top of hers, holding her hand to his face contently. "This is enough."

She stayed still, and said, "Want to talk about it?"

"Nothing new. Just…"


He blinked and looked down. "Just… scared."

"Look at me sweetheart," Lily said gently. "That's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm supposed to be strong…and…take care of you."

"You are, and you do! You are the best husband and father. Being afraid doesn't hinder that at all."

He bit his lip.

"It doesn't." She insisted. "I can't even begin to explain to you how great you are. Do you have any idea how happy you make us? How you keep this family together by just being here?"

James shook his head.

"I could never have done this without you." Lily whispered, "I… You've been there next to me every step of the way. I want, and need you. Don't you dare ever think for a second that you are weak for showing weakness…. You hear me, Potter?"

A smile broke across his face and he bowed his head. "Yes, Lily."

"Lily what?"

"Lily Evans Potter."

She circled around him, her legs tangling in the sheets when she scampered over onto him. "That's right! That's my full name!"

"You are ridiculous." He laughed, holding her.

"Yes, but you are stuck with me. So what does that say about you?"

"That I'm really lucky."

Lily swooned, her lips pouting. "…And so am I."

"We're going to be okay, right?"

"Yes." She murmured, "Love conquers all."

James kissed her lightly, and then he brought her closer and closer until there wasn't much of a difference between them.

He was asleep on the couch; the radio was on, replaying the opening game of the International Quidditch League. Lily had taken Harry upstairs to change out of the pumpkin costume and into his pajamas. When he heard the front door open, he stirred and rose to his feet. He ran his hand through his hair and placed his glasses on his face just as he strolled in front of the staircase.

James looked at the doorway and then he felt like he was paralyzed.

He didn't run, he didn't move. He could see his wand very clearly in the other room and knew that there was nothing he could do. Tears formed in his eyes before recognition ever could. A lump grew in his throat, but he straightened up as Voldemort's scarlet eyes focused in on him.

He yelled, "LILY! RUN!"

There wasn't a plea for mercy or any offering of a deal. There was just a single beat; a moment where James saw everything he ever loved. Every single thing; and he screamed urgently. "LEAVE ME RUN! LILY, TAKE HARRY AND GO! IT'S HIM! RUN! I'LL HOLD HIM OFF-"

Voldemort's red eyes flared with anger, raising his own wand, a flicker of confusion in his warped face.

And then James fell, his eyes blank and the life gone from his body.

There was no time.

Lily waited to hear her husband dueling Voldemort. She waited to hear his confirmation that everything was fine, that he had everything under control like he always had, but when she turned the corner of the room to look into the hallway she saw him coming towards her.

"JAMES!" She cried out, knowing he was just knocked out, just waiting for the right moment to pop up. Lily locked the door, rushed over and picked Harry up. She couldn't apparate and the brooms were in the next room. She waited, knowing that she would hear his voice soon. James would know what to do. He would figure it out. He was always good at figuring everything out. He would. He would..

But she knew when he didn't stand up, when he didn't come charging up the stairs that he was gone because James had never left her waiting before.

Lily began to hyperventilate; her face turning bright red and her breaths rattling in her chest. She was trying to prop things against the door, sealing it and even considering jumping from the window with Harry in her arms.

There wasn't enough time.

The door was blasted open, before Lily could properly do anything.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't duel him, she couldn't risk the spell rebounding and hitting Harry. So she did the only thing she could think to do. She placed Harry in the crib behind her, gripping his fist with her hand to comfort his sobbing, before fanning her arms out protectively.

He laughed at the sight, a cackle of high pitched laughter.

"D-don't do this," she begged desperately, "Y-you don't have to do this. He's just a baby."

"Stand aside."

"He hasn't done anything to you! He's innocent! Please! PLEASE!"

"Stand aside you silly girl… stand aside now."

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-"

"Move aside, woman," he said sharper, raising his wand.

"Not Harry! PLEASE, NO, not Harry – I'll do anything!"

Voldemort stopped for a second, before raising his wand.

Lily cried gripping the crib so tight that her knuckles were white.

Then she gasped, dropped to the floor, limp and silent.

He tore away from Peter's apartment and rode his motorcycle to James and Lily's going so fast the engine began to shake.

He had to be wrong. Peter was fine. Everything was fine.

But then he saw the smoke.

And everything he ever feared was in front of him.

Dropping out of the sky, he skidded down the sidewalk and went to the house.

"Sirius?" Hagrid grunted.

"No." Sirius breathed staring at the broken house in front of him.


Sirius didn't move, he didn't respond or even look at him. It was like he wasn't even there. In Hagrid's arms, Harry twisted himself around to see Sirius. His big green eyes were overflowing with tears, but as soon as he saw Sirius he slowed down and began to reach for him.

For a moment, Sirius didn't notice until he felt the tips of Harry's fingers grip his coat. His eyes blinked open and he stared down at him. "Hagrid, give him to me." Sirius said shifting to pick Harry up.

Hagrid frowned and shook his heavy head. "I can't."

"Give Harry to me, Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'll look after him."

"Can't. Dumbledore's orders." He told him solemnly.

Sirius took a breath. "Right…Dumbledore…Let me…At least hold him."

Hagrid hesitated before shuffling Harry over into Sirius's arms.

Sirius took him in one arm, ruffling his hair with the other. The weight of everything hadn't fully reached him. He saw the destruction. He heard the words. But he could grasp it, until he saw Harry. Harry's face was bright pink from crying and his green eyes were fixed on Sirius's face.

"Pa." Harry panted, clinging to Sirius.

Sirius looked down at him, his dark hair falling into his grey eyes. "I'll be back, mate. Hagrid is going to take you somewhere safe. I have to go, but I'll…" His voice lowered and he said, "I'll be back for you."

He kissed the top of his head, hugged him, and rocked him for a moment, before handing him back over to Hagrid. "Take care of him Hagrid."

"Where are yer 'eaded?" Hagrid asked.

"I…" Sirius didn't have the words; he just looked at his motorcycle, grabbed the keys from his pocket and handed them to Hagrid. "Here. Take my bike. I don't need it anymore."

Hagrid stared down at him in surprise. "But-"

"I have to go Hagrid. Look after him."

Sirius let Harry's little fist hook onto his finger, before he stepped away. Guilt radiated off of him in waves, his bones shaking with rage, before he apparated away.

Gutted, to the point where he didn't even understand what was the point in living, Remus stepped forward.

Remus had felt alone his entire life. Always terrified, always second guessing, always sheepish and tense. He never relaxed, never accepted anything and his friends were what saved him. They were what made him think he wasn't a monster or something to be afraid of.

Then came Dorcas. She made him come alive and for the first time in his entire life, he felt normal. Then he lost her; she was ripped away from him savagely and without even a hint mercy or remorse. The feeling of her lips on his still haunted him. And now, his friends or rather, his family, was taken from him.

He couldn't feel anymore. Remus was just…so done a cold numbness took over him until he didn't even feel real.

It was he who planned Lily and James's funeral. It was he who took in the few things of theirs that survived the wreckage. It was he who picked up the pieces and did his best to put them back together. But it was like a puzzle where none of the pieces matched or fit and he had to go hastily based on color and shape.

This country held nothing for him now, but one person remained and he felt compelled to see for himself. He had to know he lost it all for something, he had to know that it wasn't all in vain, that it didn't all lead to nothing.

Remus walked onto Privet Drive with an invisibility spell well in place. It was mid-day, but the sun was doing little to warm the mid-November chill. He adjusted the collar of his robes out of comfort, his eyes blurry, but focused on where he was headed. The thought occurred to him that if he were visible he may be confused with a drug addict or alcoholic, but there wasn't a single part of him that continued to care.

Caring meant having a purpose, and that was taken from him long ago.

Apart of him didn't even know why he was there. Harry wasn't even his godchild. He belonged to the man that had single handedly made him an orphan. But, his loyalty to James and Lily remained perfectly intact. His bitterness was nearly stronger, it didn't just consume him. Consume wasn't even a strong enough word to explain how entirely wrecked and permanently scarred he was. The only reason he was standing was Lily's voice in the back of his head, urging him to do the right thing. To make sure they didn't sacrifice everything for nothing.

Around the world he had seen people celebrating, people excited that the worst was over and they could rebuild their lives. But how could they be so selfish? How could no one see that they were literally celebrating the end of what little a life he had left? How could they rejoice in the murder of two wonderful people that did nothing but protect and fight for all of them? They didn't know them. They didn't know the people that saved them. They didn't know how low Lily's voice would drop when she was serious, or high pitched she would giggle when she was drunk. They didn't know how James could read in different character voices for his son's enjoyment, or how every time Remus was in the hospital wing James never left his side and had planned a story to cheer him up during the times Remus had been unconscious.

They didn't know. And now no one else would either. Because none of them bothered to care. None of them would have taken Remus in like they had. None of them would have done what James and Lily did.

And now it was all just a memory.

A memory that was quickly fading into the background, dulling and losing importance by the minute.

He didn't want to be there. Remus didn't want to be anywhere. He didn't want to exist at all anymore. What was the point? Everything loved was gone. Nothing was worth this…agony.

But he kept going towards the house. It was like there was a hand guiding him forward, forcing him to look into the window of Lily's sister's house. Delirious and half-mad he liked to think it was Dorcas or Marlene pushing him or maybe even Lily, but he couldn't bring himself to question it.

He didn't know what he expected to find. Harry would still be the same he was when Remus saw him three months earlier. But still, he looked in and waited for him to appear.

And then he did.

Petunia, Lily's sister was holding him, though she didn't look too excited to do so. Her face was pinched in an unpleasant expression, but she seemed to hold him in spite of her revolution of him. At first he was facing away from Remus, but then she turned, and Remus saw his face.

The sight of him caught him off guard. He looked so much like his parents, the very people Remus had just buried. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his everything was them and tears were pounding down his discolored and sharp cheeks with no sign of stopping. Then he saw something that hadn't been there before; a lightning bolt scar just below the tuff of jet-black hair.

It was a sign, not of his defeat of Voldemort, but the fact that he had been touched by something truly evil, he had seen the worst of the world and yet he was still here, still cooing, still thriving.

He'd always believed in miracles, but it wasn't until he saw Harry that he truly saw one. Harry shouldn't have survived, there wasn't a single reason that should have prevented it. But he did survive and more than that he was still living.

He was the boy that lived…

Remus put his hand to the glass, a broken expression on his face; he inhaled deeply and wiped his eyes. Clarity. It was there; it sunk down and hit him right where he needed to.

He didn't need to live because they would have wanted him to. He needed to live because they couldn't.

His hand slid down the glass, and he backed away from the window. Walking away, he went down the rest of the street and kept walking until he was strong enough to apparate. Never to return.

Dear Sirius,

If you're reading this… We failed. If you're reading this James and I are gone.

If that's true, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. But know that we love you, and you are worth something. We've always thought so, and we always will. You are our best friend and James wouldn't be half the person he is without you there supporting and loving him… I'm sorry. He asked me to write this, because he couldn't. It seems James can't imagine a world where you two aren't together, and to be honest I can't either. There's not a memory I have of you growing up that didn't have James somewhere in the background. I love you, Sirius. You were the first person to tell me that I was going to one day marry your best friend, which shouldn't mean a lot, but it does. Because that meant at…what was it? Sixteen? That you thought that I was good enough to be with him and to ultimately a part of your life, because that's what that means. That you wanted me to be a part of your life and that you somehow knew I would be. I don't know why you picked me, or how I got so lucky. I just want to say thank you and ask just one favor. Please, just look after Harry. Please tell him we love him and do take care of yourself. You've taught me so much, you taught me to jump without looking and ultimately it got me here, I know you will spread that to Harry. Please, just teach him to be like James. If you do that, he will be okay. We love you and we always will.

Lots of love,


Authors Note:

Thank you. No sincerely, person reading this, thank you! I didn't think I would ever finish this story, but everyone who bothered to read or review pushed me to do so. I'm so happy I finished this, and I hope you liked it. Please review! I would love to get feedback if you have the time to give it. Also I'm considering writing a MUCH shorter and more comedy/romantic based Jily story or a Scorpius Malfoy-Rose Weasley after I finish my blackinnon story. So anyone who wants to know, stay tuned.

Special thanks to Rebekah for editing this!