A/N So quite typically this O/S idea came to me whilst I was meant to be revising for my exams. I just couldn't stop myself from writing it. I really need to get better impulse control. Anyway, I hope you like it. The lines in italics are memories.
Elena giggled as Damon rolled them over so that he was back on top again. He was peppering her neck with sweet kisses.
"Damon," she giggled. "I have to go…" Even to her own ears the conviction in her words was basically non-existent.
"Shut up Elena," he mumbled as his hands continued working their way higher, underneath her t-shirt.
She moaned in utter pleasure as his hands caressed her breasts. How was it possible for him to always make her feel this way? His mouth reattached to hers as he kissed her deeply, pouring his love for her into it. She returned it with equal ardour.
She could feel herself falling back into the moment and she had to stay strong to push him away. "Damon, stop it!" she said more firmly as she pressed against his chest to get him off her.
"Ergh," he said as he rolled off of her. "You're always such a killjoy. You'd think being a vampire would make you more fun but alas it seems being a vampire has magnified your more boring aspects."
"Shut up Damon," she snapped. He couldn't help but laugh at her annoyance. Winding her up was just too easy sometimes. She hated been called boring.
"Why did we have to stop again?" he moaned.
"I have to get home!" she stressed.
"Why? It's not like you have a guardian to yell at you for being out late." Elena froze, as did Damon.
She turned away from him as she picked up her discarded cardigan and angrily shoved her arms into the long sleeves.
"I'm sorry Elena," he apologised immediately. "I don't know why I just said that. I didn't think."
"You never think Damon," she said cruelly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he questioned angrily.
"It's whatever the hell you think it means."
"You know what I take back my apology," he responded childishly. "Why are you so eager to get back home when you don't have a curfew?"
"Jeremy needs me to be home. He'll wonder where I've gone."
He chuckled mirthlessly. "Oh stop lying Elena. We both know why you're so desperate to go home before it gets late."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said defiantly. "Isn't Stefan going to be looking for you?"
"And the real reason comes out," Damon said in a mocking voice. "You're worried that Jeremy will be wondering where you are and Stefan will be wondering where I am and that they will discuss our disappearances together," he deduced correctly.
"They'll jump to conclusions," Elena argued as she hopped around trying to put her right converse on.
"No Elena. They'll put two and two together and come to the right conclusion."
"Do you want them to find out our secret?"
"Bingo! The penny drops. She's finally realised I'm sick and tired of this secret."
Her mouth dropped open a little. She hadn't realised that Damon had had a change of hearts concerning their relationship rules.
"You want to tell people about us?" she asked for clarification.
"Yes." His answer was succinct and confident.
She turned away from him and ran a hand through her long, straight, brown hair. "I'm not ready," she answered honestly.
"You're never ready for anything, Elena. You always have to be pushed into a decision."
"That's not true," she said turning to face him angrily.
His eyebrows rose. "Yes it is. I'm done with the secrecy. I went with it at first to see if we'd work out. What was the point in making it public knowledge if it wasn't going to work out? But it's been well over six months now Elena and you know I love you. I don't want or need our relationship to be a secret, but clearly you do."
"It's just…" she trailed off, not knowing how to phrase the way she felt.
"It's just that you're scared of what everyone will think."
She shook her head vehemently. "That's not it."
"Prove that you're not scared of what your family and friends think about you dating 'the big-bad vampire-who-doesn't-care-about-who-he-hurts' by telling them about our relationship."
She flapped her hands around exasperatedly. "But I just told you I wasn't ready for people to know!"
He shook his head disappointedly. "Well you better get ready soon, because I don't want to see you until you have a different answer for me." With those departing words, he vampire sped back to his house leaving her standing alone in the park where five minutes ago they had been happily making-out. How had things turned so suddenly?
A couple days had passed by, but to Elena it had felt like weeks, months even. She was miserable without Damon. He had managed to avoid her at all costs; she hadn't even been able to get a glimpse of him!
She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She hadn't even realised just how prominent Damon was in her everyday life. It kind of amazed her that her friends and family hadn't picked up on just how much time she usually spent with Damon, and what that would most likely imply.
She had been taking him for granted recently and she hated herself for doing it. He had become the one person she could always rely on.
She curled up into a ball and cried. She was a vampire. She was a monster. She was a killer. She had killed a human, bled them dry.
She hadn't meant to do it. She tried to run away, but the blood… it was so potent. It called to her. But that didn't make a difference, it didn't change anything. She had still killed an innocent woman because she was hungry.
Why had she chosen to become a vampire? She should have just let herself die in the transition. But once again it came down to her being weak. She didn't want to die. She hadn't been ready to die.
She felt someone wrap their arms around her body and pull her close to them, but she was too ashamed to look at who it was. They'd know. Her face would give it away and then they'd never look at her the same way. She was going to hell.
She shuffled and got a whiff of the person's scent and she knew right away who it was. Damon. Ever since the transition he'd always been there. There hadn't been one day that had gone by where she hadn't caught him staring at her. She had figured he was incredibly lonely now without Alaric around but now she wondered whether it was also because he wanted to make sure her transition went smoothly. He had visibly backed off after she had made her decision, before her death, and it was safe to say she missed him.
She whimpered as she changed positions and buried her head in his chest. She felt one of his arms move to the back of her head and stroke her hair soothingly.
No words were exchanged. The only sound was Elena's crying in anguish, releasing all that she had been holding in. Damon continued to soothe her, stroking her and calming her down.
She finally gathered the courage and strength to pull away from his body and look him dead in the eyes. She waited for him to call her out on what she had done but all she saw on his face was compassion and she certainly didn't deserve it.
"I killed her," she whispered, pain and regret lacing her words. She turned her head away, scared of how he would react.
His eyes softened as understanding dawned on him.
"The first one is always the hardest to deal with," he pondered wistfully.
Her head whipped back in his direction. "The first one? I am never killing anyone ever again. Never. I'd rather die."
Damon chuckled and Elena couldn't believe he'd have the audacity to do so. "There will be more Elena. There's always more."
"I can't kill anyone else. I can't handle it." Her whole body filled with fear at the idea of killing another human. What if they had a partner? Children? The amount of pain she'd cause for something as stupid as hunger. She couldn't deal with it.
His hands reached out to lift her chin, so that her eyes connected with his beautiful, blue ones. "Dealing with the death you cause is the hardest thing about being a vampire. It's why so many of us turn off the switch. But you're stronger than anyone I've ever met and you can get through this whilst keeping your humanity. I believe in you."
His faith in her caused the tears to run faster. She didn't feel so alone in the battle anymore. With him on her side, helping her every step of the way, she knew she could do better.
"I'm scared to tell Stefan," she whispered.
Damon couldn't hold back his eye roll. Saint Stefan was definitely no saint when it came to killing humans, when he first turned – he was a Ripper through and through. "Don't even worry about that. You're not letting him down. He's done a thousand times worse."
"Still, he's going to be disappointed."
"Screw him. The only person who's allowed to be disappointed about it, is you. You need to work on forgiving yourself and let me tell you that alone is damn hard. I struggle with it every day."
Elena was shocked by how open Damon was about being a vampire. She'd never felt so connected to him before. They fell into silence for a few minutes, lost in thought.
"So, it gets easier?" Elena spoke up, wanting clarification.
He nodded. "It definitely gets easier. Just don't push everyone around you away. I know it feels like it's you against the world, but it doesn't have to be."
She couldn't believe how he knew the exact words to make her feel better. She surprised herself by moving to sit closer to him and laying her head on his shoulder.
"Will you help me?"
"In any way I can," he responded swiftly.
"I don't think Stefan's method is working."
Damon snorted ungracefully at her comment. "I told you it wouldn't work from the start, if only you'd bothered to actually listen to me."
"I thought it would be easier than it was," she answered honestly. She took her head away from his shoulder, so that she could look at him as she spoke her next words. "I'm sorry." She took a deep breath as she carried on. "I'm sorry for judging you all the time before. I thought I got it when I was human but I really had no idea. You had no-one to help you through the transition like I do. I'm so lucky to have so many of you looking out for me. But you did it yourself, and you survived and became this amazing, funny, loyal vampire. I'm really proud of you."
Damon didn't know how to respond. No-one in his 170 years of life had ever complimented him in the same way. If he was honest, he was a little shell-shocked.
He managed to stutter out a thank you, to which she said the mandatory 'you're welcome.'
Silence fell between them again but it was exactly what they needed. They just needed to seek comfort in the presence of the other.
She rolled over onto her side. That had been the first time she'd realised just how much she needed Damon in her life, just how much she depended on the strength he gave her.
On some level she really had loved him when she was human, but it was only as soon as she became a vampire that she saw him in a new light. She looked up to him. If anyone would have told her when she first met Damon that she'd come to admire him, she would've certainly given them the directions to the mental institution.
She could safely say she loved him with all her heart now. He had become everything she had been looking for. Her love for him consumed her. When he was around, he was she could see and breathe. He would hold her attention like no other.
She closed her eyes as her mind drifted back to one of the most defining moments of her life.
"Hello! Is anyone here?" she called out, as she walked through the doors of the Boarding House. She was looking for Stefan.
"Boo!" he whispered into her ear from behind her. She jumped and clutched her heart.
"Damon!" she scolded, as she turned to come face to face with him for the first time in a couple days.
"You'd think that scaring you wouldn't work seeing as your vampire but it seems you haven't quite honed your new powers quite yet."
Elena wanted to keep their interactions to a minimum. "Is Stefan here?" she asked, matter-of-factly.
He scowled. "Sorry lover-boy's gone hunting for cute, innocent, furry bunnies. Aren't you feeling so much less guilty now you've switched to human blood?"
"Cut the crap Damon."
It was only then that she really noticed the angry vibes coming from his body. "I'll cut the crap Elena, when you find the words to clearly explain why you've been avoiding me."
"I-I haven't… I haven't been avoiding you," she stuttered.
"Cut the crap, Elena," he said, using her words against her.
"I just… I needed a break,"
"From me?" he asked.
"Yes." She gulped.
"Liar!" he accused.
"I'm not lying!" she protested.
"You are so obviously lying, Elena. You refuse to look me in the eyes."
She sighed. "Can you just leave it alone Damon?"
"No." He wasn't going to back down until he got answers. He hadn't realised just how empty his life was when she wasn't around. He needed to know why she was avoiding him and he had to fix it. He couldn't go another day without her being around.
"Damon, just don't."
"Tell me why you've been avoiding me Elena," he said slowly and menacingly.
"Elena, God dammit, tell me!"
"Because I love you!" she snapped. Her eyes widened and her right hand covered her mouth, as she realised she'd let slip the words she'd been working so hard to keep inside for the last month.
"Nothing," she said immediately. "I said nothing."
"You said you loved me," he said, confusion lacing his voice. "You said, you loved me. Why would you say that?"
There was no way of getting out of this. She had opened her big mouth. She should have never come here. She had secretly hoped she'd catch a glimpse of Damon. The past few days without him had been hard and she'd missed him so much. "Because I do. I love you."
She watched as he scanned her face to see if her words held a hint of a lie. She hadn't been expecting him to super-speed in front of her and slam her against the wall behind her. Before she could even process what had happened, he did the unthinkable. He kissed her as though he'd never get the chance to ever do it again. She returned the kiss, pouring all her withheld feelings into it.
She'd been lucky enough to share a few kisses with him when she was human, but this was completely different. It was like he was showing her a whole new world to kissing. It was safe to say her mind was blown. Her body had never been on fire like this before. Sure, her body had been jelly after her make-out session with Damon in Denver, but this… this was something else.
His lips detached from hers as he placed kisses all along her jaw, and neck, working his way downwards. He pressed a kiss to the top of her breasts before making his way back to her lips again. If she didn't know better, she'd have thought she was dying. Surely, it was impossible to feel pleasure like this just from kissing?
Before she could explore his body with more than just her hands, he pulled away from her. She whimpered at the loss of his body that had been pressed against her intimately.
"Why did you pull away?" she said breathily, trying to get her breath back and return her heartbeat back to normal.
"I love you too," he said sincerely. The smile that painted her face was the largest smile that had ever painted her face. She had known he loved her, he'd said so many times. After the whole transition, she'd gotten the memory of when he first told her he loved her back. Her heart broke when she realised just how much he had sacrificed. She'd never understand how he had never blurted out all that he had done for her. He truly was selfless. There was something different though, hearing it this time. This time, she was returning the feelings and it felt amazing to hear that he loved her just like she loved him.
"I love you," she said again. She was addicted to letting him know of her feelings now. Funny how a few minutes ago she had been desperate for him to never know.
"I love you too," he replied happily, as he pushed her against the wall again and recaptured her lips.
She sat up on her bed. She suddenly felt ashamed over how she had been treating him. She hadn't considered his feelings. He had been right when he said she wanted to keep things a secret because she didn't want everyone to know. She had been so wrapped up in her worry about what others would say about her relationship with Damon. The truth though, was that their opinions made no difference. She would stay with Damon until the end of the world. He was it for her. There would never be anyone else, ever again.
She'd always been scared about Stefan finding out. She had broken things off with him as soon as she had realised she was in love with his brother and not him. It had only been a few weeks before she confessed her feelings to Damon. She'd gone over to the house to try and smooth things over with Stefan, she'd known he was devastated when she dumped him. She'd said things were different now that she was a vampire; she didn't feel the same as she had before, which was all completely true. She had just never told him about how strongly she now felt about his older brother.
She wasn't the same as Katherine though. Yes, she'd sampled both brothers, but she'd made a decision. Okay, so she'd made a decision in favour of Stefan a year ago, but circumstances had changed. She'd made her final decision. It was Damon, always.
She was an idiot for keeping things a secret. She should be flaunting Damon as her boyfriend. She should be announcing to the world that Damon was forever taken. She should be screaming at ever passer-by that Damon was her man.
With a new resolve, she ventured out of her room and out of her house. She looked at her watch and saw that it was 10:30pm. Damon was definitely at The Grill nursing a drink. She'd begun joining him on his nights out. Drinking really did help with the cravings and why drink alone when they could drink together? She really hoped that he had gone to The Grill without her, anyway. Otherwise there'd probably be no chance that she'd find him.
As she walked over the threshold and into The Grill, she let out a sigh of relief as soon as her eyes landed on Damon's back. He was here.
"Hey Elena! You got my text! Why didn't you reply? I'm glad you decided to join us," Caroline said joyfully waving her over to her table.
Elena quickly glanced at Damon to see his eyes were locked on her now. Caroline calling her name had gotten his attention. His face was expressionless; he was giving nothing away. She turned to look at Caroline again. Bonnie, Matt, Tyler, Jeremy and even Stefan were all there with her. It was like fate, that they'd all happen to be here to witness what she was about to do.
She ignored Caroline's calls for her to join them and marched over to Damon. He had seemed surprised by her decision to walk towards him. Before he could get a word out, she grabbed him by his leather jacket and planted her lips on his. One of her hands snaked to the nape of his neck, whilst the other cupped his cheek. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip and he happily opened his mouth to allow her entrance.
His hands wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer. He kissed her as zealously as possible, massaging her tongue with his. She pulled away after a while, the need for oxygen becoming too great. When she felt like she could breathe comfortably again, she snuck a look at Damon. Her heart soared as she saw the look of pure elation on his face. There was nothing more she could have asked for.
She glanced in the direction of her family and friends to see that their jaws had dropped. It was quite a comical view and she couldn't help but let a soft giggle escape her. She felt so free and happy now that their secret was out in the open. Why hadn't she done this earlier?
"Did I prove it?"
He smiled happily; he really hadn't been expecting her to kiss him in front of everyone. "I'm not sure. I think maybe one more kiss would certainly prove it."
"I think if we kissed again, one of our friends would surely have a heart attack."
Damon glanced at the table behind her. Maybe she had a point about the whole heart attack thing. He glanced at Stefan to see how he was taking the news. The soft nod of approval from Stefan came as a huge relief. He never realised how important it was for his brother to be comfortable about his relationship with Elena. Their relationship with his brother was on the mend and he never wanted Elena to come between it.
Elena caught the nod that Stefan gave them and smiled appreciatively. She glanced back and Damon and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to his lips.
"I love you and I plan on letting the whole world know it," she announced softly to him.
A/N So, what did you guys think? It was just a little idea that popped into my head. I'm not really sure I did it justice, but I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review.