Author's note: I do not own pokemon, nor do I own any other characters I did not make up myself. I know you will flame me and give me evil reviews for this but I DON'T CARE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I wonder if anyone else is reading this directly from my word processor! Aahhh! Don't look! Go away!!! _

Eskimo Jolteon:

A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2 ^_^.

Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.

Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Jhoto, a place that is always frozen.

Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.

Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.

(Camera moves in towards igloo. We see Jolteon watching TV while munching popcorn.)

Jolteon (to himself): Isn't there anything good to watch on TV today? (Rapidly flicks through channels)

(Flareon enters igloo. He is holding a can of gasoline)


Jolteon: I'm watching TV. Wanna join me?

Flareon: Why not? (Sits down on couch and gulps down gasoline)

Jolteon: Hey bud, aren't you getting a little dependent on that thing?

Flareon: What thing?

Jolteon: The gasoline-drinking thing.

Flareon: NO! I AM NOT DEPENDENT ON GASO…. (Suddenly has this 0_o look on his face)

Flareon: (Running wildly in circles) AAAAHHHHH!!! HYDROCARBON RUSH!!!!!

Jolteon: Stop it! You're gonna melt my igloo!! Now get back here and watch TV quietly!

(Flareon does as told. Suddenly, the Teletubbies appear on TV.)

Teletubbies: Teletubbies, teletubbies, say hello!

Jolteon and Flareon: AAAHHHH!!! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

(Jolteon lets go of the TV cable. The TV goes blank instantly)

Jolteon: Whew….

Flareon: What do we do now? (Takes a swig from the gas can)

Jolteon: go fishing I suppose. I'm hungry.

Flareon: yea me too.

Narrator: and so our heroes set out with their rods to the sea for fishing…

(One hour later)

Jolteon: Caught anything yet? -_-

Flareon: Nope. Not even a nibble!

Jolteon: (feels tug on rod) Oh! I've got one! ^_^ (Reels in line and gets a magikarp, and eats it raw.)

Flareon: Lucky ducky. _ (Feels a tug on his line)

Flareon: Yay! I've got one too!

(Vaporeon comes up, clinging onto Flareon's line.)

Vaporeon: BOO! ^_^

Jolteon: (gives Vaporeon an angry look) aw, come on. You know we can't swim.

Flareon: Yea, especially me. -_- (Takes another swig from gas can.)

Vaporeon: Hey guys, look at what I found (unfolds her paw)

Jolteon and Flareon: (staring at the thingamajig) what is it?!

Vaporeon: It's a headbutt TM, silly!

Jolteon and Flareon: And so?

Vaporeon: and so we go headbutt a Seel, silly! ^_^

Jolteon: Ummm…ok….why not?

Vaporeon: (excitedly) Oh goody goody!

Flareon: I'm still hungry.

Jolteon: you still got that gas can.

Flareon: oh yea.

Narrator: and so our heroes went out to headbutt a Seel.

(A few minutes later. Our are walking along the ice floes.)

Jolteon: (pointing) look! There's a Seel!

Vaporeon: Yes!

Flareon: ………….

Vaporeon: Flareon?

(Flareon is gulping down gasoline from the can.)

Jolteon: Oh, let him be. -_-;

Vaporeon: so, who wants to headbutt a Seel?

Jolteon: guess I'll try.

(Jolteon charges towards the Seel while holding the headbutt TM and headbutts it.)

Seel: Wha….Ouch! Why you… (Headbutts Jolteon back in his personal spot. The force of the headbutt causes Jolteon to fly backwards, crashing into Vaporeon, then Flareon. The three of them end up in a heap in front of Jolteon's igloo.)

Flareon: (slurs) That's gotta hurt.

Jolteon: X_X

Vaporeon: Want me to massage it? ^_~

Jolteon: No thank you. -_-;

(Espeon walks over from outside the camera)

Espeon: Hey guys, I'm bored.

Jolteon, Flareon and Vaporeon: ……

Espeon: Alright…what happened?

Flareon: (still slurring) You see, Jolteon here was trying to headbutt a Seel, and it headbutted him in his...erm…personal spot.

Espeon: (wincing) That's gotta hurt.

Flareon: That's what I said!

Espeon: Yeah, I know. (Closes his eyes and concentrates.) Was it this Seel?

(a small speck from the distance grows. Upon examination, it turns out to be the Seel. It is hovering in mid-air, encased by a blue-green light.)

Jolteon, Flareon and Vaporeon: Yea.

Espeon: (still with eyes closed.) As much as I expected. (Turns his head in a different direction. The Seel flies away in the direction until it vanishes.)

Seel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………………..

(Suddenly, there is a beam of light from the heavens. Pikachu Sandact6 descends in the beam of light.)

Pikachu sandact6: I am god. Worship me, mortals. (Looks at watch) Oh no! Gotta go for my exams!!! (Vanishes in a puff of smoke.)

Jolteon: What was that?

Flareon: (still slurring) Dunno. (Takes another swig from gas can.)

(Suddenly, there is another burst of light. Cats is standing in front of our heroes.)

Cats: How are you gentlemen.

Flareon: Huh?

Vaporeon: (angrily) That's LADIES and gentlemen, you brain-dead freak!

Cats: Oh all right. How are you ladies and gentlemen. All your base are belong to us.

Jolteon: What you say?

Cats: You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha…..

Espeon: Let's get rid of this freak.

(Jolteon uses Thunder, Espeon uses Psychic, Vaporeon uses Hydro pump and Flareon uses Fire Blast. Unfortunately, since Flareon is having a hydrocarbon rush, he hits Jolteon's igloo by mistake)

Cats: Seems like Cats Blasting off again! (Flies off towards horizon)

Vaporeon: Umm…Jolteon…your igloo…

(Jolteon turns around and sees the remains of his igloo)

Jolteon: My igloo…sob ;_; (bursts into tears)

Vaporeon: There, there.


Espeon: (To Vaporeon) Well, what do we do now?

Vaporeon: Well, Jolteon can go rebuild his igloo, Flareon can go and stay drunk on gas, and we can…

Espeon: Yes?

Vaporeon: go sit around waiting for Lccorp2 to move his butt and write the next episode.

Espeon: (disappointedly) ok.

Narrator: and so ends another pointless, stupid day in our heroes' lives! ^_^

How'd ya like this silly story? Just put what you think will make the story better in your reviews and I will try to write my stories accordingly! ^_^