Author's Note: the addition of this episode does not necessarily mean I am going to write more. It just means I'm bored. I don't know why I'm doing this, anyway. My prelims are in two week's time. Sucks to be me, huh? Anyway, I'm very bored today. You can tell, because I'm actually writing this. Heh. Sad to hear about the death of AIADI.guess TCL was too busy, caught up, or lazy to continue.sad indeed. I've been quite busy though, and most of my time has gone towards playing Aardwolf. Try it. www.aardmud.org. This concludes the author's Notes. Have a good day, or is it too late?

Narrator: of course, we haven't forgotten the must-have opening scene of every Eskimo Jolteon episode.the disclaimer gift! (Claps paws)

(Nothing happens. No one comes out)

Narrator: Dawn? Kitty? Hello?

(Crickets chirp)

Narrator: (ears droop) oh well.(puts the box down in the middle of the stage and wanders off)

Eskimo Jolteon Episode 78:

A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^

Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.

Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.

Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.

Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.

(Camera zooms in into igloo. We see Jolteon sleeping on the couch. Nothing much happens for a while. Eventually, Umbreon comes in, holding a fishbowl. He sets it down on the table.)

Jolteon: (lazily opening one eye) what's that?

Umbreon: it's a Phish. I bought it from Taiwan. (Taps the fishbowl)

Jolteon: you mean fish.

Umbreon: nope, it's a Phish. It's a genetically engineered thingy. It glows in the dark.

Jolteon: (squeaks and hides behind the couch) EEK! Evil! Go away!

Umbreon: (giving Jolteon a funny look) not all genetically engineered things are evil.

Narrator: we interrupt this program for a brief commercial.

(Scene changes to a TV screen. On it we see a poster.)

TV: hello, all fellow evildoers! Are you tired of your pet? Want something new and groovy? Think vampiric cats, dragons, and three-headed hellhounds from the depths of hell are boring? We have just the thing for you! Introducing the latest in evil pets...the Phish!

(TV screen changes to show an anatomical display of a Phish)

TV: cleverly disguised as an ordinary fish, its cute appearance deceives the unsuspecting into its jaws of fury! It's so evil it glows! With unblinking, bulbous eyes and a fixed smile, it is guaranteed to horribly torture your prisoners in the latest and most fashionable ways! It's pure evil! A must-have for any being of evil! Listen to our latest testimonials from a satisfied customer!

(TV screen shows a garble of mixed-up phrases)

TV: " I bought the Phish today, and since then, the tortured souls in my pits of fire have been screaming even louder!" "I was skeptical about the Phish, but ever since buying it, I've been satisfied!"

(The TV starts to jump up and down)

TV: so what are you waiting for?! Call 1-800-sketchit to order your very own Phish from Tracey Industries! Order now! NOW!!! NOW!!!!!!

(Footnote appears at bottom of screen reading "Tracey industries will not take any responsibility if the owner is consumed by the Phish. Neither will it take responsibility for any hideous monster fish that appear at your coastline, no matter how much it looks like the Phish you bought. No refunds will be given in any case.")

Narrator: now that the commercial has ended, we shall return to our program..

(Scene changes back to Jolteon.)

Umbreon: (looking at Jolteon cowering behind the couch) come on, it's just a fish. It may glow in the dark, but it's just a harmless, cute little fish.

Jolteon: meep.(Continues to quiver)

Umbreon: oh well. I'm off for now. I think I'll leave the Phish here. Maybe it'll help you get over that fear of Genetically modified things.(leaves)

(A long time passes. Jolteon creeps closer to the fishbowl.)

Jolteon: well, that's a nice fish.it does have that smile.maybe it isn't so ba-

Phish: (in a deep, demonic voice) I live.

Jolteon: 0_o !

Phish: I have come to suck out your soul.

(Jolteon screams like a stuck pig and hides behind the TV.)

Umbreon: (coming back) (sighs) I see.look, it's just a fish that glows in the dark. I'll show you.

(Umbreon goes over, drags Jolteon out from behind the TV and sticks his face to the fishbowl)

Umbreon: now I'll go turn off the light. (Wanders out of camera)

(The lights go off. We see two pairs of eyes. Underneath the glowing pair is a massive array of teeth.)

Phish: you know, I find your lack of pants disturbing.

(The lights come back on)

Umbreon: so, are you convinced that the Phish is har-(looks at Jolteon) have you been shedding again?

(Jolteon whimpers)

Umbreon: (sighs) I think I'll have to get you to a psychologist. Come on. (Drags the protesting Jolteon off)

(Camera remains in igloo. Nothing happens for a while. Flareon eventually wanders in.)

Flareon: hey gu-where'd everyone go? (Notices the fishbowl) hello, little fish.

Phish: (floats in fishbowl)

Flareon: (getting annoyed) don't be so rude! Wipe that smile off your face!

Phish: (continues floating)

Flareon: why, do you want a smiling competition?! Fine! (Smiles)

Narrator: a VERY long time later...

(Scene changes back to igloo. We see Jolteon and Umbreon returning.)

Umbreon: I don't understand! The psychologist found nothing wrong with you, apart from the fact you're insane!

Jolteon: well, insane is a normal state of mind for this fic.

Umbreon: well, I'd best be taking back my Ph-(notices empty fishbowl) crud.

Jolteon: (picking up a note from the table and reading it) in case you're wondering where that fish went, I flushed it down the toilet. It beat me in a smiling competition. No-one does that and lives. Your pal, Flareon.

Umbreon: (sniffs) I hope that Phish is okay.I heard there are Feraligators in the sewers...

Jolteon: I think the sewers eventually lead to the sea somewhere.

Narrator: not very far away...

(The scene changes to a tunnel in the sewers)

Maintenance man 1: it's true, Bob! There's a whole pile of Feraligator-skin stuff down here! Belts, wallets, handbags, even shoes! We're rich! Rich, I tell you, rich!

Maintenance man 2: yes, Ted, but I think there's some glowing green thingy behind you...

Maintenance man 1: who cares?! I'm ri-

*Glomp*

Maintenance man 2: Ted? Ted?! What happened?

(X-files music starts playing)

Maintenance man 2: I'm so alone...

*Glomp*

Narrator: sad. Anyway, let's fast forward a day later...

(Scene changes to next day. We see Jolteon and Umbreon watching TV.)

TV: and now for the news. The fish stocks of the North Houen Sea have mysteriously vanished overnight. So have some of the fishing boats in the area. A mysterious glowing green thingy has been reported to be seen in the area, about 5 times the size of the average Wailord. It also seems to be sending some sort of sound, which distinctly sounds like "I have come to suck out your soul."

Umbreon: crud.

Jolteon: I told you that thing was evil.

Narrator: well, so ends this episode of Eskimo Jolteon. Will our heroes be able to defeat the evil Phish and rid the world of the abomination? Find out in the next episode of Eskimo Jolteon, if it ever comes out!