A/N: So I guess I should what I explain what I mean by a Season 3 Rewrite. I am going to keep the basic plot elements (Rachel and Kurt wanting to get into NYADA, Finn proposing to Rachel, etc) but I am just going to rewrite them better. However, some episodes will be rewritten entirely (like The Spanish Teacher) because I felt they made no sense to the arc. Some original lines might make it in but otherwise, this is all me. Uh...hopefully you like it so let's pretend it's September and you're watching the Season 3 premiere. If you want to PM me and ask why I did things a certain way, go ahead.
Episode 1: The Purple Piano Project
"Is it on? Are you getting this?" asked Jacob Ben-Israel of his mute cameraman who simply nodded in response. "This year is senior year!" announced Jacob to the camera. "Let's find out what our Lima Losers are planning to do after graduation." Jacob caught sight of Finn Hudson walking blithely down the hall, fresh from schedule pick up at the counselor's office and ran up to him, shoving a microphone obnoxiously into his face.
"So what are your plans for the future?" sneered Jacob. Finn smiled pleasantly, unaware of the barrage of questions that would soon follow.
"Uh, I guess just try to keep my grades good for Ohio State and try to land a football scholarship," said Finn. "Oh, and win Nationals with the Glee Club this year." Jacob scoffed and turned back to the camera. "I forgot to mention that Mr. Finn Hudson here is a mediocre jock and even mediocre singer. Honestly, how many times are you going to use Auto-tune to enhance your lack of a voice this year?"
"Uh..." Finn smiled, unsure of how to respond. "Just looking forward to great year!" he said rather weakly. Jacob harrumphed and walked away, in search of new prey.
"So what are your plans after graduation?" demanded Jacob of Mike Chang, who was with his girlfriend Tina Cohen-Chang (no relation) and friend Artie Abrams (who funnily enough, was Tina's ex-boyfriend). Mike smiled brightly; he knew the answer to this question. "I'm probably going to Stanford or Harvard," he replied robotically. "My parents haven't decided yet."
"What about you?" asked Jacob of Tina, who was rearranging Mike's shirt collar. Tina jumped slightly. "Oh, I'm a junior," she explained. "Mike's a senior and me and Artie are both juniors."
"Since when?" demanded Jacob. Tina and Artie both gave him the same Are-you-an-idiot? look. "It's like, common knowledge," insisted Tina.
"Not that common if you're just saying it now," snapped back Jacob.
"Well, we are Broadway bound!" said a confident Rachel Berry. Kurt Hummel waved around some jazz hands. "We're going to be accepted to the most amazing performing arts school in New York City and then go on to the Great White Way!" he bragged.
"So what's the school's name?" asked Jacob. Rachel and Kurt's smiles wavered as they exchanged glances.
"This interview's over!" squeaked Rachel as she and Kurt made a beeline for the college catalogue in Ms. Pillsbury's office.
"I thought you and Sam Evans formed the good ship Samcedes?" said Jacob as he eyed Mercedes' new squeeze, Shane Tinsley, McKinley's best linebacker.
"Sam and I had a summer fling," explained Mercedes. She blushed slightly at an unspoken memory. "But his dad got a new job in Kentucky and we agreed that long distance would be too hard so we're seeing other people. This is Shane Tinsley. We met at our church's picnic."
"Well, you're a fast worker, aren't you?" frowned Jacob. Mercedes ignored him. "Besides, this is our senior year! We both need to explore what we want to do with our lives."
"Mercedes already knows what she wants to do," said Shane. "She's going to be a star bigger than Mariah and Whitney combined. I believe in her."
Mercedes smiled at her boyfriend. "I love how you're so supportive of me," she cooed as she gave him a kiss. Jacob turned to the camera and mimed gagging.
"My senior year is going to be all about being the Cheerios captain," said Santana Lopez as she walked down the hall with Brittany Pierce. "Finally," she muttered.
"And what are your future plans, Brittany?" asked Jacob as he tried to keep up with the lithe cheerleaders. She stopped to turn back to him.
"Extending the Mayan calendar. I don't want my senior year to end in the apocalypse" she said before Santana dragged her away to homeroom. Jacob gave his camera-man a confused look.
"Well, my future-future (you know, the one for my rest of my life) is kind of up in the air right now so I don't know what's really going to happen," admitted Finn. "I don't really know what I'm going to be doing after graduation. I mean, how can I do that when I don't know who I am anymore. Am I a jock or a Gleek? I mean, I just don't know-"
"Welcome back, loser!" laughed Rick "The Stick" Nelson as he and his hockey friends delivered a cherry slushie to Finn's face.
Jacob tried not laugh as Finn wiped the remains of the cold slush off his face. "Well, now I remember!" he said, weakly.
"Will, you're going to be late!" reminded Emma Pillsbury as she finished buttoning her buttercup yellow blouse. She peeked to see what Will Shuester, her live-in boyfriend, was doing in the bathroom. Well, technically, I'm the live-in,she corrected herself. She smiled anyway as Will exited the bathroom, putting the finishing touches to the Windsor knot on his tie. He gave her a good-morning peck on the cheek before picking up his Spanish lesson plan and his Glee club binder. After a quick breakfast of fresh fruit and toast, the couple exited the apartment and walked down the apartment stairs to Will's modest sedan. "Are you excited for the new year?" Emma asked Will who nodded enthusiastically.
"That language seminar I went to last week really gave me some fresh ideas on how to get the freshmen interested in learning Spanish and of course, I'm really hoping to get the Glee kids to Nationals this year."
"It is their senior year," nodded Emma as they drove to the familiar grounds of William McKinley High, home of the Titans. "I'm sure they'd love to end their high school career with a national championship. Besides Santana, Quinn, and Brittany, of course, who are probably used to them with the Cheerios and all." Will nodded as he kept his eyes on the road. "I feel really bad," he confessed. "I feel like the reason we lost Nationals was because we weren't focused. Me especially. I should have had their songs written and rehearsed months before competition instead of chasing a Broadway pipe dream."
"It wasn't a pipe dream, Will," said Emma. Will gave her a look.
"Well, Crossrhodes is about to enter Broadway previews."
"Since when do you keep up with the theater boards?" laughed Will. It was Emma's turn to give him a look. "Be honest," she said softly. Will sighed.
"Honestly? I'm a little jealous. I'm kicking myself. I wish that was me on Broadway," admitted Will. "But at the same time, I couldn't leave the kids. They've grown so much and I had to be there for their senior year. And the juniors-I can't just leave them hanging high and dry. I think I've realized that Broadway just isn't my path. I'm meant to be a teacher."
"And there's nothing wrong with that," affirmed Emma. Will agreed as they pulled into a parking spot at the high school.
"FOCUS," wrote Will on the dry erase board in the choir room. The Glee club was already assembled-with a few absences, unfortunately. Sam had moved away during the summer although he sent Mr. Shue an email wishing them luck for the next school year. Quinn had, apparently, "gone off the map" during the summer. Santana and Brittany discreetly informed him that Quinn would most likely not be coming back to Glee club. "Why not?" asked Will, confused. Santana and Brittany shrugged. "She said she wanted a change," was their answer.
"I know this year means a lot of some of you," said Will as he turned to face his students. "It's your senior year." Cheers from the class of 2012 erupted and Will indulged them.
"And I want you guys to go out with a bang-actually, I want you to go out with a trophy. Namely, a Nationals trophy. And I know we didn't place last year and I take full responsibility. I should have stayed focused on you guys, not on my own dreams."
"Mr. Shue, stop beating yourself up about it," said Rachel. "You don't have to do that anymore."
"Uh, no," scoffed Santana. "In my opinion, he should continue to beat himself up until he gives himself a concussion. If he was more on top of things, we could have at least placed."
"Instead, we ended up with one of the most awkward on stage kisses in the history of on stage kisses," said Mercedes. Rachel flushed and Finn turned around in his seat to glare at Mercedes. "Hey, our kiss was the Superman of kisses!" he proclaimed.
"More like the Aquaman of kisses," snarked Santana. "Lame, slippery, and wet." A few giggles erupted. "You always think on stage kisses are going to be romantic," said Brittany, shaking her head. "But that was just horribly, horribly awkward."
"My favorite YouTube comment is, 'Why is that T-Rex eating the Jew?'" said Artie as he held up his iPhone which had the video of the infamous kiss playing. More giggles erupted. Mercedes rolled her eyes and stood up. "The point is," she proclaimed loudly. "Now we're the laughing stock of the show choir world, no thanks to 'Finchel'."
"Exactly," agreed Will. Rachel and Finn both gave him hurt looks. "Well, not that part about you guys," he amended. "The point is that we're not going to give anybody anything to laugh about anymore. We're going to take that Nationals trophy home and we're going to push ourselves harder and further than we've ever gone before."
Will stopped mid-short of his pep talk and did a quick head count. "Unfortunately, before we can begin, we need more people. We've lost two members already so we're a little short of the required number. So this week is all about focusing on recruiting new members. I know it might be hard but think about it: a few years ago, you all jumped at the chance to join Glee club and somewhere, out in the crowd, there is a freshman, sophomore, junior, or heck-maybe even a senior who wants to belong here. So, thanks to a generous donation from Al Motta-"
"Isn't that guy in the mob?" whispered Lauren Zizes to her boyfriend, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, who shrugged.
Will, with the aid of the jazz band, wheeled in a selection of bright purple pianos. "We are going to be doing something called 'The Purple Piano Project'. Each of these pianos was once broken, damaged, or out of tune. But with a little TLC, they became great again. Kind of like us. We're going to place them all around the school and when you see one, I want you to perform a musical number and inspire someone."
The bell rang, dismissing the early morning powwow.
During lunch, Rachel and Kurt walked arm and arm into Ms. Pillsbury's office. She looked up from her PB&J sandwich. "How can I help you two?" she asked as she tried to quickly swallow the sticky peanut butter on the roof of her mouth. The two sat down in front of the counselor's desk.
"We have an announcement to make," announced Rachel. Emma's eyes lit up in understanding. "Well, I thought you two were already in committed relationships but I must say that this is one pairing that hasn't been tried yet." She fished a pamphlet that read, "Me and My Hag" and handed it to Kurt, who frowned as he flipped through it.
"No, no, no," corrected Rachel. "What we're announcing is that we're planning on going to Juilliard for musical theater-"
"And we'd appreciate it if we can get some brochures or the like," finished Kurt.
Emma frowned. "You two do know that Juilliard doesn't offer a musical theater major?"
Kurt and Rachel's smiles faltered. "Oh," said Rachel meekly.
"But you know what you want to major in so that's a start to narrowing down colleges," said Emma, as she tried to salvage the situation. She took out a binder from her desk and started to flip through it. "You know there are some great musical theater programs right here in Ohio if you want to stay in-state-"
"NO!" exclaimed Rachel and Kurt together. "It's New York City or nothing," proclaimed Kurt.
"Ms. Pillsbury, being in New York City for Nationals made us realize that it's the city for us. Here, our talents aren't appreciated and scorned even, but in the city, dreams can come true," explained Rachel. Emma nodded and then she flipped through her binder.
"Well, of course there's New York University with the Tisch School of Dramatic Arts, Pace University which, um, has the, uh, Actor's Studio and there's the very exclusive New York Academy of Dramatic Arts which often tops the list of best colleges for performing arts-"
She handed the two of them various pamphlets. "NYADA sounds amazing," said Rachel as she flipped through the pamphlet. "Kurt, look how many alumni are on Broadway now!"
"I should warn you that NYADA is a very exclusive school. They take an average of twenty students each year so it's very competitive," said Ms. Pillsbury. Kurt and Rachel exchanged nervous looks. "But if you want to find out more, there's a prospective mixer coming up here in Ohio and you guys can go and talk to other students and whatnot and see if this is the school for you."
"Thank you, Ms. Pillsbury!" said Kurt and Rachel as they exited her office with an armful of catalogues.
"Here ya go, Coach!" said Becky Jackson as she handed Coach Sue Sylvester, self-proclaimed Playboy model, the latest results from the congressional race. "I'm in 9th place! With 6% of the vote?" cried Sue incredulously. "Oh, Becky, this will not do at all. What am I doing wrong? I'm a tall, lithe blonde woman. Why aren't people being mesmerized by my beauty and falling in line? That's what the Cheerios do."
"I don't know, Coach," agreed Becky. "I'd vote for you."
"Leave the vacuum home, Jackson," snapped Sue. "I don't need you sucking up right now. I need ideas. There's two months until the election and I need to get the people behind me. And I think I know how to do it: we need a fight to get the voters united."
"How about toast?" suggested Becky. "Well, I do hate how it always seems to land butter-side down," mused Sue but her thought process was rudely interrupted by Tina and Mike playing "Chopsticks" on a gaudy purple piano outside of her office. Rolling her eyes, Sue grabbed a large pair of scissors from her desk and went outside to stab the purple piano repeatedly, frightening the two students.
"Learn to play this country's national anthem!" yelled Sue. Frightened, Tina and Mike made a break for it. A sophomore geometry teacher, who had been watching, exited her classroom to thank Sue.
"Thank you so much, Sue," said the teacher. "All day those Glee kids have been coming by playing their Broadway-schoamdway medleys and disrupting class. I tell you, these art programs are doing more harm than good for education. All these kids think they're the next Lady Gaga so they don't focus on school. Someone needs to give them a wakeup call."
The teacher returned to her classroom so she missed the scary glint in Sue Sylvester's eye. "Becky, I have an idea," she proclaimed. "I'm leading the fight against the arts!"
After school, at the Lima Bean, Kurt and Blaine Anderson were enjoying first-day-of-school lattes as Kurt tried to convince Blaine to transfer to McKinley.
"I'm a Warbler officer this year," complained Blaine. "Why would I transfer to McKinley?"
"Because I want my senior year to be magic and the only way that's going to happen is if I get to spend every minute of every day with you?" offered Kurt. Blaine shook his head. "We can still be together even if we go to different schools," he said.
"Excuse me if I want to spare you the humiliation of getting clobbered by New Directions at Sectionals," joked Kurt. "But seriously, I just want to see you more."
"We could've seen each other a lot more if you stayed at Dalton," reminded Blaine.
"But I missed my friends so much-"
"And I won't miss mine?" asked Blaine, raising an eyebrow. "Look," he said. "You know that if I could go to school with you and have classes with you every day and go to Glee club with you, I'd love it. I'd love it, no lie. But I'm a star in the Warblers! I don't want to have to start over and spend my junior year swaying in the background! I mean, granted, I could probably get a couple of one-liners by Christmas time but a full solo wouldn't be mine until graduation. I mean, moving up the Warblers was hard enough but thankfully, Jeff got pneumonia freshman year so I was able to hop the ladder much quicker-"
"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine," interrupted Kurt. "Are you listening to yourself? You sound like this overworked, corporate ladder climbing, scheming cubicle worker. Why would you want to be in this rat race at Dalton, continuously fighting for a solo when you can be in New Directions where everyone gets their chance to shine?"
"I don't know," said Blaine, remaining skeptical. "Are you sure no one minds new people coming in and taking a solo even if they haven't been there the longest?"
"Things aren't based around seniority in New Directions," assured Kurt. "We're always welcoming fresh blood. In fact, we needfresh blood this year."
Blaine frowned. "Well, my parents do think Dalton's getting...I'll think about it," he said noncommittally. Kurt's heart sank. They needed just one-just one-more person to meet the minimum requirement. Who else could they get?
"Yo, Q!" hollered Sheila. Quinn Fabray turned around and saw her new friend waving at her. Quinn smirked and strutted down the hall to meet Sheila, relishing the jaw-dropping looks her nose ring, pink hair, and tramp stamp of Ryan Seacrest attracted.
"What's up?" she asked, her alto voice now more noticeably more hoarse, thanks to the Marlboro cigarettes she now carried in her left pocket at all times.
"Let's hit the bleachers," said Sheila and the two girls skipped second period to smoke under the bleachers.
I can't believe it's my senior year and I've finally found myself, mused Quinn as she inhaled the nicotine from her cigarette. She smiled at Sheila, Ronnie, and The Mack. And I'm never going back.
"Yo, Fabray, can we talk?" called Santana from the opposite side of the chain link fence that lined underneath the bleachers. Brittany was with her and both of them were wearing their Cheerios uniforms. Quinn approached the chain link fence separating them and saw the rest of the squad practicing in the distance.
"You guys should get back to practice or Coach Sylvester is going to be pissed," Quinn said coolly. Santana shook her head. "Screw her. We're here to talk about you. We want you to come back to the squad-"
"And glee club," added Brittany.
"It's our senior year," continued Santana. "We can win two national championships: cheerleading and nationals. Come on, what's a better way to end high school?"
"Come on Quinn, we do everything together," pleaded Brittany. "We joined cheerleading together, we joined Glee together, and we all slept with Puckerman the same year. We were like the Three Musketeers and now Santana and I are like an Almond Joy and you're this cherry Jolly Rancher in an ashtray."
"Literally," coughed Santana, waving the smoke Quinn blew her way. "Come on, you can't break up the Unholy Trinity. I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide in my locker with your name on it."
Quinn shook her head. "You guys don't understand what it was like for me. All that pressure and all that misery and for what? Nothing. When I got pregnant, Cheerios was never there for me."
"But Glee was," reminded Brittany.
"I'm not going back just to watch Finn and Rachel make lovey dovey eyes at each other while I sway in the background," said Quinn. "Is that how you two plan to spend your senior year?"
Santana and Brittany exchanged glances.
"That's what I thought," said Quinn. "Good luck at Sectionals or whatever."
She turned away and went back to her friends. "Glee club will always be here for you, Quinn!" yelled Santana but Quinn didn't even look back. "Well that was a bust," she grumbled as she and Brittany went back to Coach Sue who was yelling something about "sloppy babies".
Santana turned to Brittany. "Do you really think that's how it's going to be?" she asked. "What do you mean?" said Brittany. "I don't want to be in the background anymore," said Santana as she pushed past Becky towards the front row. "This is our year to shine."
"Oh look, Sue's Corner is on," said Emma and she grabbed the remote to raise the volume. Will looked up from the papers he was grading and moved closer to her on the couch. "Is she plugging her congressional campaign again?" asked Will.
"As you may all know I am running for Congress this election but a lot of people have been asking me, 'Sue, what do you stand for? What do you stand against? Where do you get those fabulous track suits?" Well, Western Ohio, here I am to put your mind at ease. First of all, I stand for caning, littering, and more resources for special-needs students in public schools. And I stand against the art programs in public schools."
"Wait, what?" exclaimed Will.
"That's right. Arts programs have done nothing for our children or our taxpayers except bleed them dry and give delusions of grandeur. Why should we shell out thousands and thousands of dollars so some kid can draw you a picture of a tree? Listen up, children! You can buy crayons and paper at the Dollar Store so stop taking away money our taxpayers are shelling out so you can pretend to be Vincent Van Goh. Speaking of which, the arts have terrible role models for children. Vincent Van Goh cut off his ear, and most musicians and actors end up as low-life drug addicts who contribute nothing to society other than to glamorize bad choices. Need an example? First name Lindsay, last name Lohan. If elected, I will promise to cut all funding for arts programs in public schools and give the money to more worthy causes such as educational resources for the mentally and physically "differently abled" in public schools. Also, all my track suits are custom made so don't think you can try to steal Sylvester Style at your local Foot Locker. And that's how Sue "C's" it."
Will and Emma wordlessly exchanged horrified looks.
"How could you do this, Sue?" demanded Will of Sue in her office the next day. "I thought we were friends now or at least on good terms. How could you let me find out about this on the local news like everybody else? And why are you attacking the arts? Have you forgotten that it was the kids in the Glee club who sang at your sister's funeral and helped you throughout that time?" Sue Sylvester serenely polished her 2005 national cheerleading championship trophy and then turned back to Will.
"It's nothing personal William," she told him. "The people want to unite behind a common cause and the arts, regrettably, is like a pimply face kid with horn rimmed glasses and an awkward posture-you just want to punch him in the face and you're not going to feel bad about it."
"So you're just doing this to get votes? You're not really going to cut arts programs?"
"Oh, I'm going to cut the arts, William." Sue smiled. "What kind of politician breaks her promise?"
"I'm not letting you get away with this, Sue," said Will. "You can't do this. There are a lot of kids-not just the Glee club-who love music and art. I'm not letting you take those things away from them just so you can win an election."
"If you get in my way William, you know I will have no problem destroying you."
"That's how you repay people who have been nothing but nice to you time after time? I know you can be cruel, Sue, but this is a new low even for you."
Will shook his head and walked away.
"I hope I can count on your vote!" called Sue as he exited her office. Just at that moment, Santana and Becky came in.
"You wanted to see us, Coach?" asked Becky as she took a seat in front of Coach Sylvester's desk. Santana mimicked her, although she wished she had sat down first.
"Ladies, as you know I am campaigning for Congress this year so my head Cheerio has to be able to handle more responsibility than any other head cheerleader before," Sue said. Santana nodded solemnly and straightened up, shooting Becky a confused look. What is she doing here? wondered Santana. Probably going to make her my assistant to help with the load.
"You both are valuable additions to the Cheerios and both have natural leadership abilities and the personality of a stone cold fox, much like yours truly." Sue paused. "Which is why I'm making you both co-captains of the Cheerios this year."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Becky and Santana in unison. "Are you kidding me? I'm not working with her! She's the biggest bitch on the planet and that's coming from me!" cried Santana. "Do you see how she is?" demanded Becky. "I can't work with her!" She then stormed off but Santana remained.
"Coach Sylvester, I don't understand," said Santana, trying to stay calm but her shaking voice betrayed her. "I've been on the squad longer than Becky, I was acting captain when Quinn Fabray got knocked up sophomore year, I've worked car washes and bake sales, I did my time in the bottom of the pyramid, I've spied on the Glee club for you, and I didn't say a word to that NCA official when he was asking about your Cayman Islands accounts...Why am I not the sole Cheerios captain? I've been working for this my entire high school career. It's not fair! What do I have to do? What did I do wrong?"
Sue leaned forward in her chair. "I admire your driven spirit Santana and I won't deny all the work you've put in over the years. But the reason I didn't make you the only head cheerleader is because, frankly, I've been having some doubts about your loyalty to this team."
"What do you mean?" Santana's eyes were wide and fearful.
"I am sure you know by now that my congressional campaign platform is all about eliminating art programs in public schools..."
"And what does that have to do with me?"
"Well, considering all the time you spend with the Glee club, is it too much of a stretch that when push comes to shove, you might take their side in all this?"
"No, of course not! I wouldn't do that. I'm Team Sue all the way," insisted Santana. "I'll do anything Coach. Just tell me what you want and I'll show you how loyal I really am."
Sue smiled. "You know Schuster's 'Purple Piano Project'? I want you and the rest of the Cheerios to destroy every single lavender, plum, violet, or lilac colored piano in this school. Just make it look like an accident."
Santana nodded. "Of course. Anything you want. And then I can be captain, right?"
Sue merely smiled. "What kind of politician breaks her promise?" she asked.
It took a lot of courage but Rachel skipped class early to sneak down under the bleachers before lunch in hopes of convincing Quinn to come back to the club. She knew Santana and Brittany had already failed but it couldn't hurt to try again, couldn't it?
"Um, Quinn? Er, Skanks?" Rachel said hesitantly to the group of tough looking girls who were glaring at her. Quinn turned away from The Skanks to face Rachel with a clearly annoyed expression on her face.
"What do you want?" she asked, taking a deep drag from her cigarette and then blowing the smoke in Rachel's face. Rachel wanted to cough but she knew that would just make her look weak in front of the Skanks. "Your friend smells like soap, Quinn," sneered a girl named Ronnie.
"She's not my friend," said Quinn coolly. Rachel's heart sank. "Look, Quinn I know we haven't been the best of friends-"
"That's right," agreed Quinn. "Then again, it's a little hard to be friends with a girl who's stolen your boyfriend. Twice."
"So you're still mad about Finn, then?" said Rachel. Quinn shook her head.
"It's not even about Finn, anymore, Rachel. I know I deserved to lose him when I lied to him about Beth but I forgave you for telling him because I shouldn't have led him on like that. But he and I got over that and when we got back together, you shouldn't have tried to keep stealing my boyfriend just because you wanted a male lead."
"No, it wasn't like that," interrupted Rachel. "I really do love Finn and I'm sorry that's how things worked out Quinn but...we can't throw away our friendship just because of some boy."
"Like I said, it's not about Finn anymore. It's the whole Glee club. That whole environment is toxic, with the rumors and the cheating-"
"Yeah, way more toxic than all the cigarette smoke down here," agreed Rachel sarcastically. "Look, we're all teenagers in there and yeah, we're going to do stupid and petty stuff once in a while. But Glee club is much more than Fuinn or Finchel or any other boyfriends or girlfriend pairings. It's about opening yourself up to joy. I know you're unhappy, Quinn. And I don't want anything more in this world than for you to be happy. You deserve it after all you've been through and you're not going to get it here, no offense Skanks." Rachel cast a worried look at Sheila who looked as if she wanted to punch her. "We all miss you and you know we all care about you. Don't you remember how much fun we had? We're doing this thing called 'The Purple Piano Project'-have you seen those purple pianos around the school? And we're trying to inspire people to join by performing a song whenever we see one-"
"Enough," interrupted The Mack. She stepped up to Quinn who was solemnly looking at Rachel, as if she might be considering Rachel's words. "Quinn, I will give you ten bucks if you let me punch her," begged The Mack. Rachel held her breath but Quinn shook her head. "No. It's fine," she said, turning away again, indicating Rachel's dismissal. Disappointed, Rachel returned to the main building for lunch.
Rachel stomped over to the lunch table where the New Directions were eating. "Hey Rachel, what's wrong?" asked Tina, looking concerned.
"The week is almost over and we have zero new members, that's what's wrong," huffed Rachel as she sat down.
"What, did you expect everyone to just fall over themselves to join the club just because we played 'Chopsticks' on a purple piano in the middle of the hallway?" said Lauren, raising an eyebrow.
"Let's face it, this Purple Piano Project is a bust," agreed Puck.
"That's because we've all been doing it on our own," argued Rachel. "People aren't going to join if they just see two or three people playing scales on a piano. They'll join if they see how much fun performing really is."
"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" asked Kurt, raising his eyebrows.
Rachel nodded. "There's a purple piano right here in the cafeteria and Mr. Shue did say that if we saw one, we had to inspire someone," she sing-songed. Santana groaned but the rest of the club started shuffling around, preparing. "I have my iPod dock in my locker," whispered Mike excitedly as he sprinted out the doors to the halls. Mercedes and Tina immediately huddled over Rachel's iPod as they debated what song they should pick.
"Quick, spread out," hissed Rachel. "Like a flash mob," added Kurt. The New Directions spread out across the cafeteria as Mike came back with the iPod dock. Kurt plugged it in and We Got the Beatby The Go-Gos started playing. Rachel took over the first verse and sang:
See the people walking down the street
Fall in line just watching all their feet
They don't know where they wanna go
But they're walking in time
They got the beat, They got the beat, sang Tina, Mercedes, Brittany, and Santana as they danced in the middle of the cafeteria. Santana looked up and noticed the Cheerios team giving her strange looks. Remembering her loyalties, Santana quickly sat down next to them as Kurt took over the second verse, hoping no one would notice.
See the kids just getting out of school
They can't wait to hang out and be cool
Hang around 'til quarter after twelve
That's when they fall in line
Now the male members of New Directions took the floor, led by Mike Chang, in a fit of energetic head banging and clapping. Finn looked around the cafeteria, thrilled. Some people were responding to the music. There was a skinny girl with brown hair eyeing Puck as he jumped up on a cafeteria table to do a series of push-ups. Some people were dancing in their seats and Brittany and Mike made it their mission to pull those people onto the floor with the club for the chorus. Mercedes took advantage of the excitement and belted out the second verse
Go-Go music really makes us dance
Do the Pony puts us in a trance
Do the Watusi just give us a chance
That's when we fall in line
For the last chorus, the New Directions spread out across the cafeteria, trying to get people to dance with them. Brittany finally noticed Santana hiding at the Cheerios table and pulled her girlfriend up.
Everybody get on your feet, she sang. We know you can dance to the beat. In spite herself, Santana smiled and sang back, Jumpin' - get down! Round and round and round!
The New Directions all whooped as the last notes of the song faded away. After it finished, Rachel nervously scanned the cafeteria for the student body reaction. Some people started clapping and she beamed. It worked! Her idea worked!
Caught up in their exuberance, the Glee club didn't notice Rick sneaking up on Rachel and Kurt, who were standing close together, and throwing a cherry red slushie on them. "Get this beat, losers!" he laughed as he returned to his table, who cheered him on. "Hey!" shouted Mercedes protectively. She grabbed a ham sandwich from someone's table and threw it with all her might at Rick's mullet.
Her aim was successful but it only enraged Rick even more. He grabbed a fistful of the cafeteria spaghetti to throw back but Shane tried to stop him. "Come on man-just leave it," he tried to reason. Unfortunately, the spaghetti in Rick's hand slipped and landed on Shane's varsity jacket. "Oh you did not just do that!" he growled. He grabbed a handful of his own spaghetti and tried to smash it against Rick's face but Rick slipped out of his grasp and ducked, causing the spaghetti to hit Jacob Ben Israel who turned around slowly and then stood up. His hand moved behind him for a fistful of spaghetti.
There was an awful silence. "Oh no," whispered Finn and he immediately moved towards Rachel and Kurt to shield them.
"FOOD FIGHT!" shouted Jacob Ben Israel. With a roar, the cafeteria erupted in an all-out food fight. The football team ganged up on the hockey team, who continued to try to pelt the Glee club with as much cafeteria food as possible. The Cheerios shrieked in disgust as Jacob and his friends tried to pour milk down their uniforms. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors started pelting each other with all the food in their lunchboxes.
"Why is it every time we do this, it always ends in a riot?" wondered Tina as she and Mike tried to make a break for the doors.
Back in the choir room, the Glee club was trying unsuccessfully to clean up.
"Well, I'd say that this ranks higher than the Brittany Spears sex riot we ignited last year in terms of failure," commented Kurt dryly as he tried to brush off dried spaghetti sauce off his jacket. "I still think Tik-Tok was better," replied Brittany. "Me too," agreed Santana. "Although I think it's because you barfed on Berry."
"This was a disaster," complained Rachel. "Maybe we should just kidnap people and force them to join the Glee club," suggested Puck as Lauren carefully picked out salad leaves from his mohawk.
"It couldn't have been that bad," said Mr. Shue, trying to build up some positivity. "You said people were getting into it towards the end. And at least you guys don't have to clean up the cafeteria because it was the hockey team who started it."
"What does it matter?" sighed Rachel. "Who's going to want to join Glee club now?"
'Um, excuse me?" said a slightly nasal voice.
The club turned to see a brunette girl in skinny jeans in the doorway. She smiled brightly and took the center of the room. "Hi, I'm Sugar Motta," she said. "And I just wanted to say that when I saw you guys performing out there, looking like you were having the time of your lives, I thought...'Wow. I am so much better than them.' Especially you, in the white dress."
"I'm sorry but can we help you?" snapped Rachel who folded her arms over her stained white dress. Sugar didn't notice Rachel's annoyed tone and continued. "Actually, I heard you guys were looking for new members and I want to join."
"That's great!" exclaimed Will as the glee club whispered excitedly to each other. "Told you my idea would work," gloated Rachel to Kurt who smiled and rolled his eyes. "Do you have a song you want to audition with?" asked Will. Sugar nodded. "Of course. I will be singing Big Spender from the musical Sweet Charity. I'm kind of the voice that Broadway songs were made for."
Rachel made a jealous noise in the back of her throat but Finn but his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. As Sugar began to sing, it was clear that Rachel (or anybody for that matter) had nothing to worry about.
The minute you walked in the joint
I could tell you were a man of distinction
A real big spender
Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind
Hey, big spender!
Spend a little time with me, Yeah! sang Sugar horribly off-key. The Glee club stared at her, unaware what to do. Brittany took the lead and clapped enthusiastically and the others hesitantly followed her example. Will tried to smile encouragingly at Sugar.
"Um, thank you for that Sugar, we'll let you know," he said. Sugar merely beamed and flounced out of the room.
"I mean this girl was bad," Will was telling Emma and Coach Shannon Beiste. "American Idol worst of the worst bad. And what's worse-"
"Is her singing?" quipped Emma.
"No, it's that I think that she believes she is the greatest thing since sliced bread," said Will, shaking his head. "I don't know what to do. We need more members but...how can we possibly compete with a girl who sings so off-key and out of tune?"
"What do the other kids think?" asked Shannon, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Well..." Will thought about Rachel pursuing him through the hallway while he was on his way to Spanish class.
"Mr. Shue, you cannot be serious about letting this girl in," cried Rachel as she followed him through the halls.
"Rachel, we're not really in a position to turn down new members," he reminded her.
"She's going to drag us down!" insisted Rachel. "How can you tell us that you're going to take us to Nationals when you want to bring on a load that won't even let us make it past Sectionals?"
Will sighed, trying to think of a good reply but Rachel had already stormed off.
"Well, you have Mike Chang and he couldn't sing when he first joined," pointed out Emma. "Maybe you can give this girl singing and dancing lessons." Will nodded. "What do you think, Shannon?" he asked.
Shannon was silent for a moment before she replied. "Well, Will...When you're managing a team, you're in it to win it. Do you think I would benefit if I let every Tom, Dick or Harry who saw Facing the Giantson the football team?"
"So you're saying I should tell her no?" frowned Will.
"Not necessarily," amended Shannon. "Sometimes a kid is a diamond in the rough that needs a little polishing. Emma's right; you should give this girl singing lessons but if she's like you said and thinks she's Whitney Houston when her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard...you gotta let her go. Tell her there's always room for improvement."
Will nodded. "Thanks for your advice, guys. I really appreciate it,"
"What extracurriculars are you putting down for your applications?" asked Kurt to Rachel as they walked down the hall together. "Well, I've joined practically every club that gets a photo in the yearbook but I'll have to start actually going to meetings this year if I want the club advisors to let me put them on my resume," Rachel told him. "And you have Glee, football, and Cheerios and maybe we can start a PFLAG chapter this year together…" Kurt suddenly stopped in front of the school's bulletin board.
"Rachel, look!" he gasped as he pointed at a flyer that announced auditions for the school musical, West Side Story. "We have to audition," he insisted. "Of course," agreed Rachel as they continued down the hall. "You as Tony and me as Maria. So that'll be just one more thing to put on our resumes to impress NYADA and all those other schools."
"I'm really nervous about the mixer tomorrow night," admitted Kurt. "What if those other prospectives are better than us? I mean, they've known about this school since they were freshmen and we just found out about it which means they've had more time to prepare…"
"Kurt, don't worry," interrupted Rachel. "We have the most talent out of anyone in this school and probably all of Ohio. We eat, sleep, and breathe show choir. Plus, no one wants this more than we do."
"I don't know." Kurt chewed his cheek worriedly. "What if that's not enough?"
"When is that never enough?" asked Rachel. The bell rang, indicating it was time to go to class.
"Hi, Kurt," said a familiar voice.
"Oh hi, Blaine," responded Kurt distractedly. "So how's your day been?" asked Blaine, leaning against Kurt's locker, smiling slyly in his bow tie and coral skinny jeans, wildly out of the Dalton uniform.
"Terrible if you want to know," said Kurt as he got his books out of his locker. "There's the NYADA mixer tonight and I'm really nervous about meeting the other prospectives and plus the Glee club needs to find one more member so we can compete and we had one girl come in and she was awful but Mr. Shue says we have to let her in—"
"Sounds tough," nodded Blaine. "It is," agreed Kurt and he then took a double take at Blaine.
"Wait, what are you doing here in the middle of the day? Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"
"I transferred to McKinley," he replied proudly. Kurt's face exploded in joy but then it quickly fell. "Wait, you didn't transfer because of me, did you? Because I was just kidding. I don't want you to do anything major like this just for me—"
"No, no, no," interrupted Blaine. He sighed and lowered his voice as he looked around. "Tuition at Dalton's getting kind of expensive and my parents thought it'd just be easier to send me to public school so I picked McKinley."
"Oh my God, that's so…" Kurt struggled to find the right words. "Like that sucks about Dalton but I'm so happy you're here! You're going to have so much fun here! Rachel and I are starting a PFLAG chapter here and you have to join Glee club. I mean, it's not the Warblers or anything but—"
Blain lifted up a hand to interrupt him. "When can I audition? And can I have backup dancers?"
The first few notes of It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones started playing in the outdoor cafeteria where Blaine was dancing near the purple piano stationed out there. Blaine asked if anyone wanted to dance backup and to everyone's surprise, Santana volunteered herself and the Cheerios.
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone sang Blaine.
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone
But when I see you hanging about with anyone
It's not unusual to see me cry
Oh, I wanna die!
His charm was infectious and some people in the crowd seemed to be enchanted with him. Kurt beamed at him happily as Blaine serenaded a group of shy looking freshmen girls. All eyes were on Blaine, which meant no one noticed the Cheerios sneakily pouring lighter fluid on the vivid purple piano.
It's not unusual to be mad with anyone
It's not unusual to be sad with anyone
But if I ever find that you've changed at anytime
It's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you
Blaine finished the song with a small flourish. Some people clapped and Quinn, who had been watching the whole time from the top of the bleachers, stood up and walked down to flick her still lit cigarette at the piano which immediately caught on fire. Everyone nearby jumped back instantly, except for a confused Santana, who was still holding an open lighter.
Kurt and Blaine stared at her, open mouthed. Santana sheepishly dropped the lighter and ran off with the rest of the Cheerios.
"God, I'm a little nervous," said Kurt to Rachel as they pulled up into the hotel ballroom where the NYADA mixer was being held. "Tell me the plan again."
"We're going to go in there, introduce ourselves, make polite conversation—"
"'So what school do you go to?'" suggested Kurt. "'What's your favorite Broadway musical?' etc, etc."
"And then after ten minutes of small talk, we suggest singing some impromptu karaoke and we kick things off with our Happy Days Are Here Again/Come on Get Happy mash up—"
"I wish I'd worn my Judy Garland outfit," said Kurt mournfully as he inspected his trendy skinny jeans, button up, and black blazer.
"No, that'd be too obvious," said Rachel. "Anyway, after we wow the others as the second coming of Barbara and Judy, they will never think of applying to NYADA ever again, not with us in the applicant pool."
"God, I can't wait," said Kurt, smiling. "It's going to happen. We're going to go to New York and live out our dreams, just like we've been planning all summer."
They entered the ballroom, prepared for awkward small talk and boring questions about dorms but they were ambushed by a raven haired teenager with bright red lips. "Hello, hello. What are your names and what are your credentials? I'm Harmony," she said, smiling but to Kurt it felt like she was baring her teeth. "Oh, but you probably recognize me anyway, don't you?"
"Excuse me?" asked Kurt, giving Rachel a confused look.
"I've been acting since I was a fetus—literally," continued Harmony. "An ultrasound of me was featured on Murder, She Wroteand I was also the Gerber baby."
"Oh," commented Rachel politely as she scanned the room for someone to save them from this crazy girl. But to her horror, she realized that all the other prospectives in the room looked exactly like her and Kurt—she noticed that some of them were wearing the exact pieces she and Kurt had hanging up in their closets and even the Harmony girl had the same exact star necklace Rachel currently had around her neck. Rachel touched it protectively as the other prospectives caught sight of Kurt and Rachel and surrounded them, presenting a barrage of their biographies and their resumes.
"Hi, I'm Gunther," introduced a flamboyant brunette boy who had the exact same porcelain complexion as Kurt. "I won my first dance competition when I was three months old—I learned how to grand jeté before I could walk—"
"And I'm Barbara—as in Barbara Streisand? She's my idol! In fact, I played Fanny in my school musical production of Funny Girl. Everyone said it was just like watching her," chimed in a Jewish brunette girl not unlike Rachel.
"Well, I'm Kurt Hummel and this is Rachel Berry," said Kurt nervously as he looked at the crowd of hungry, determined wannabes. "We're seniors at McKinley High and we just found out about this NYADA mixer. We're thinking of applying there."
"Oh, we've been meeting here since we were in middle school," piped up Harmony as she led the two to a pair of chairs in front of a small stage. "It's so nice to have some fresh faces. We've been working on this little number all week and there was a Bar Mitzvah here last night but thankfully, I convinced them not to take anything down. So just sit back, relax, and most importantly…" Harmony paused before smiling again. "Enjoy."
Rachel and Kurt exchanged confused looks before a mash up of Anything Goes/Anything You Can Dobegan with Harmony in the lead, taking pleasure in intimidating Rachel and Kurt as much as possible.
Times have changed she sang powerfully.
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock
If today, any shock they should try to stand
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock—
Plymouth Rock would land on them.
As Harmony sang the chorus for Anything Goes, the other prospectives chimed in with an energetic jazz routine.
Anything you can be, I can be greater, belted out Harmony, shooting a look at Rachel and Kurt. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.
During the instrumental break, the floor became full of the talented brunettes swing dancing, with Harmony at the center of attention. Gunther did a series of backflips and cartwheels across the floor, causing Kurt and Rachel to jump back a little.
Any note you can hold, I can hold longer cried the prospectives. I can hold any note longer than you, smirked Harmony.
No you can't (Yes I can!)
No you can't (Yes I can!)
The group ended center stage with a flourish and then out of nowhere, two small firecracker cannons exploded, surprising Rachel and Kurt even more. They stared open mouthed at the prospectives.
"What'd you think?" asked Harmony, smiling. "Don't worry. This is a just a rehearsal. You have to come see our performances to get the full effect."
Rachel and Kurt only stared, hopelessly out of their league.
Thunder boomed and lightning flashed but Rachel and Kurt didn't care enough to be scared of driving home in the rain because they were too busy sobbing.
"What were we thinking?" sobbed Rachel. "'We eat, breathe, and sleep show choir?' No, we don't! They do! I thought wanting it would be enough and it'd at least take us somewhere but we're nothing compared to those kids!"
"Oh God, and those are just the NYADA kids," groaned Kurt. "What if the NYU and Pace kids are better?"
"Maybe we should just give up," said Rachel in a small voice. Kurt stared at her open-mouthed for a moment and then he grabbed Rachel by the shoulders to face him.
"Don't you ever say that again, Rachel Barbara Berry! Did Barbara Streisand give up? Did Judy Garland give up? Did Liza Minnelli give up? Kristen Chenoweth or Idina Menzel? No, they didn't. Even though they faced obstacles on the way, did they sit in their car and cry about it? Or did they decide to work harder ever than before? We may not be as good as those kids in there but that doesn't mean that we can't be someday. Only twenty kids get admitted to NYADA, only 40% of applicants get into NYU and I can't remember the admissions rate for Pace but that doesn't mean that one of those kids can't be us. We have to at least try. So I'll tell you what we're going to do: we're going to go to my house, drink some hot chocolate, do more college research, and plan our senior year so we can get in every single one of those schools and wave our letters of admission in those kids' faces."
Rachel smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thanks, Kurt," she told him. "Now I can see why Blaine loves you so much. Because you have a good heart and you won't give up on your dreams and you won't let anyone else give up either."
"Don't forget my impeccable taste in fashion," he reminded. Rachel laughed and the two friends did a gay high-five (a pinky link followed by spirit fingers) for good luck. "I'm really glad we're friends this year," she told him. "Me too," agreed Kurt.
The five minute warning bell rang and Will took a deep breath before affecting a friendly smile as he approached Sugar who was at her locker.
"Hi, Sugar," he greeted.
"Hi, Mr. Shue," she said, not looking at him.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that we're really happy to have you join with the New Directions," he told her.
Sugar frowned. "Nude erections? Look, Mr. Shue, I'm flattered but I think this is—"
"No, no, no," Will hastily corrected. "New Di-rections is the name the Glee club competes as. Welcome aboard!"
"That's kind of a lame name. Oh, well. It doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to my first solo. When do we start rehearsals?"
"Actually, Sugar," Will began, unsure of how to say what he wanted to say. "You're not quite ready for solos yet. But the other girls are eager to help you catch up. Rachel Berry has offered to help you and Mike Chang says he can give you dance lessons if you want."
"What, do you think I'm terrible?" snapped Sugar.
"No, no, no," said Will quickly. "It's just that this is your first year and you're not quite on the same level as everyone else—"
"Not on the same level!" cried Sugar. "Mr. Shue, with all due respect, I worked that song like a stripper pole! If you and your club can't handle a little talent then maybe you're not worth my time. I'm going to find a show choir that actually appreciates my voice. Good luck!"
Sugar slammed her locker and walked away in a huff. Will sighed and his mood was worsened by Sue coming up behind him with the latest polls. "Hey there, Shuester! Feeling down? Well, I'm not! I just jumped nine points since I declared a war on the arts. You should watch Sue's Corner next week. I'm going to do a nice little expose on your show choir. Got enough members yet?"
"Well even though Sugar Motta declined to join us, we are very pleased to have Blaine Anderson from the Dalton Academy Warbler's here with us," said Mr. Shue as he led the applause for Blaine's welcome.
"Welcome to McKinley, Blaine," said Lauren. "Hope you're ready for slushie facials."
Blaine gave her a confused look before Mr. Shue jumped in. "That reminds me. Principal Figgins has revised the school's definition of bullying to include slushies being thrown with malicious intent so if you guys get hit, report that person immediately and trust me, they will be punished."
"Well, I just want to say that I'm really glad to be here at McKinley and even though I might miss the Warblers, I know I'm going to have a lot of fun with you guys," said Blaine. Several people nodded in agreement except for Finn who sniped, "Yeah, we're not anything like the Warblers, dude. So, like, don't be surprised if we don't have blazers or canaries or whatever. New Directions is different."
"Oh, I get it," said Blaine hastily before sitting down. "But I think there's some things that the Warblers did that the New Directions could benefit from."
"I find that hard to believe," scoffed Finn. "Considering that we beat you guys last year at Sectionals."
"Come on guys," intervened Kurt. "We have bigger fish to fry than argue who's better than whom."
"That's exactly right, Kurt," agreed Will. "Which brings me to my next order of business. Somebody sabotaged one of our purple pianos and I hate to say that it's someone in here."
Will looked pointedly at Santana and everyone followed his example.
"What?" she demanded. "Santana, don't bother trying to deny it," said Will. "I have multiple eyewitnesses who say they saw you and the other Cheerios pouring lighter fluid on the piano and you about to light it."
"But I didn't," pointed out Santana. "Quinn did it so if anyone is going to get in trouble, it should be her."
"Still, you had the lighter in the first place," countered Will.
"Come on Santana," said Tina. "I thought you said that Glee club was your favorite part of the day. Why did you do it?"
"Okay, look," said Santana, standing up. "Coach Sylvester promised to make me the sole Cheerios captain if I sabotaged the piano. Happy now?"
Will shook his head. "I'm sorry, Santana but this year is all about getting to Nationals and we can't do that if someone on the team is sabotaging every step of the way for a cheerleading captainship. I know that the Cheerios and Glee are both important to you and I hate to do this but I'm going to have to give you an ultimatum: whose team are you on this year?"
Santana was silent for a moment as everyone looked at her. Brittany squeezed her hand but Santana stood up. "Can I give you my answer later?" she asked. "I need to think about it."
Will nodded. "Of course. Come back anytime."
Santana gave a faint smile and wave as she left the choir room. Lauren huffed and said, "Good riddance."
"But that means we still only have eleven members," complained Mike. "She'll be back," said Brittany confidently. "Santana wouldn't just leave without me."
"Well now that that order of business is taken care of, I have an announcement," said Rachel standing up as she smoothed her cotton dress. "I am going to be trying out for the school musical, West Side Story—"
"Hey, I'm the student director for that!" piped up Artie. He looked around the room. "You guys should all definitely try out. It'll look good on your college applications."
"I also have an announcement," said Kurt, standing up. "I am going to be running for senior class president with a platform that emphasizes support for the arts, anti-bullying, and starting a PFLAG chapter here at McKinley. I hope I can all count on your vote."
"I can help with your campaign," offered Brittany. "I've made a lot of posters for the Cheerios and as long as you give me a spellchecker, I think they'll turn out great." Kurt smiled at her. "Thanks, Britt."
"I love a happy ending as much as the next person but we still need one more person to join Glee club," pointed out Lauren. "Mr. Shue, this Purple Piano Project was a bust," agreed Puck. "We only convinced one person to join and she sucked."
"We just have to keep trying guys," piped up Rachel. "After all…"
You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill
You can try to stop the seasons, girl, but you know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancing feet but I just can't sit still
'Cause this world keeps spinning 'round and 'round jumped in Kurt.
And my heart's keeping time with the of speed sound
I was lost till I heard the drums and I found my wa-a-a-a-ay!
The Glee club was now performing onstage on the auditorium, dressed in purple, with the remaining undamaged purple pianos with them onstage.
You can't stop the beat!
Ever since this whole world began,
A woman found out if she shook it, she could shake up a man
So I'm gonna shake and shimmy to the best that I can today!
'Cause you can't stop the motion of the ocean or the sun in the sky!
You can wonder if you wanna but I'll never ask why
But if you try to hold me down, I'm gonna spit in your eye and sa-a-ay
That you can't stop the beat!
Unbeknownst to them, Quinn was looking down upon them from the rafters with a faint smile on her face.