Hiyoo! Another collaberative work with another author~, this is done with YukirinSnow!

Warnings: Yaoi, Shizaya, violence, language, mpreg, fluff, angst, smut, potential OOCness, and if I think of more I will put them in.

Please keep in mind we rp'd this out, and mostly between the hours of 2am and 5am. There were a LOT of spelling and grammar issues when we finished and I am going to miss things. DO NOT POINT THEM OUT. I notice these things soon enough and I do go back and edit it. Sometimes I'm not even sure what we were trying to type when we typed it, I will go through and fix it at a later date. Kthnxbai.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DURARARA! I just wish I did.


Izaya stared solemnly at a single spot on his desk before pushing his chair back, a small grin on his lips. Then he spun around in his chair, one rotation, two, three, ten. He started laughing like he was insane around the third time his chair circled around and when his chair stopped he was still chuckling lightly, the remaining dizziness leaving him woozy and giddy. It was a quiet day, nothing to disturb his relative peace… and boredom.

"Ah… I need a new hobby~" He sighed, leaning back in the chair as the world came back into focus for him.
"What should my new hobby be I wonder~?" He murmured thoughtfully when a loud and familiar noise startled him from his thoughts.
"IZAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-KUUUUN!"
"Eeh? Is that Shizu-chan~?" He smirked though a small quiver ran through him too. This was unexpected indeed. Loud banging could now be heard on the front door to Izaya's apartment and Shizuo's voice boomed out, echoing easily through the room

"GET OUT HERE LOUSE!" He called through the door.
"Eeh… If I do that Shizu-chan will squish me or break me or rape me and who wants that~?" Izaya murmured softly, unsure of what to do in this situation.
"Izaya!" Shizuo sounded more irritated than ever now. "If you don't open this god damned door its coming off its hinges and I'll really throw you out the window!"

"Hmm... this could get complicated..." Izaya knew Shizuo was coming in one way or another now so he moved fast, the door unlocked, and he was under the couch in the corner before the door could open and it slammed open. Shizuo used so much strength that it ricocheted back off the wall, nearly coming right off its hinges. Shizuo walked in glasses tucked into his vest as he glared around the room, hunting for the sneaky informant.

"Izaya no use hiding...rumor has it in Ikebukuro that you're planning to frame me for murder!" He hissed low as his golden eyes swept the apartment.

'Murder huh? Yeah that wasn't happening... or it hadn't been but hey, not a bad idea' Izaya thought, a small smirk forming on his lips as he watched the blondes feet from under his couch. He didn't dare make a peep for fear the blonde would find him here. Too bad for poor Izaya, Shizuo had a good sense of smell and suddenly the couch was flipping across the room and Izaya was yanked up by the scruff of his jacket.

"Oops~! You found me Shizu-chan~!" Izaya grinned as innocently as he could at the enraged blonde now. "Now, what would it cost me to buy my freedom~?"
"Buy you're freedom?" Shizuo hissed and rattled the flea good before stopping, "Give me three good reasons why I'd let you go when all you do is make my life a living nightmare!"

"Mmn, fine, one, I can pay you more than you make in a year right now for letting me live, two I really wasn't planning anything, three I help alleviate a boring day for you with a good run and nothing beats cardiovascular exercises... and four I'll pretty much give you anything you could ask for right now~" He grinned slyly at Shizuo, hoping the man would take him up for it. "Oh! And five, if you kill me I wouldn't have to frame you for murder again, you really would have committed it!"

"Can't frame me if no one knows what happened...I could snap your neck right now and no one would know better" he warned glaring and frowned at Izaya," and I don't want your filthy money and if I let you go you'll continue to be the bane of my existence! Now tell me Izaya, why is it only me who ends up being tortured and taunted by you" he said his breath running short with the long rant.

"Hmn? You mean you haven't guessed? It's because you're fun Shizu-chan, you're so much fun! And when I annoy you, you drop everything, you give me your whole and undivided attention! Besides you're not the only person I screw with... you're just my favourite one~" He was still grinning as though oblivious to the danger he was in. This was annoying Shizuo to no end, the flea was too... too giddy! Too damn excited so he decided to flip the tables for once... scare the shit out of Izaya. Shaking his head, he smirked.

"Alright flea then here's my undivided attention" and he walked towards the large windows of the apartment and opened it swiftly and shoved Izaya right out of the apartment suspending him several stories above the uninviting ground," any last words?" Izaya blinked and gripped Shizuo's arm tightly now.

"Alright, I get it, bring me in now..." He could really cling if he had too, "besides, isn't it you who claims to hate violence?"
"So what I do? It doesn't change the fact that you bring out the worst in me" he smirked with satisfaction knowing he could bring that kind of expression to Izaya's face, "you know... I wonder if flea's can fly" and he pried Izaya's hands off before letting go... he watched the flea begin to fall before catching him again. Hoping that had put a good shock into Izaya's heart. He then frowned, he felt like he was acting like the flea. Izaya's stomach lurched uncomfortably and his mask slipped in that instant when he thought he was going to fall, that Shizuo was really going to kill him.

"Sh-Shizu-chan..." He whimpered now. He was well aware this was not how he acted and while he wasn't normally afraid of heights he was at this moment.
"It's Shizuo Heiwajima! get it right" he said anger evident at the nickname, "..." but Shizuo saw something in that expression and debated for a few moments on whether or not he was going to let the flea live and began to slowly pull him back into the apartment.

"You owe me… I'll let you off today but I swear if you so much as put a toe in Ikebukuro in the next week I'm dropping you off Tokyo tower" he warned angrily as he started to set the source of his problems down. Izaya nodded meekly and decided he was purchasing a heavily reinforced door now… like that would save him. Shizuo gripped Izaya's shoulders almost painfully and made him look up.

"Now! Give me something to drink" he was exhausted from expelling that energy just to scare the fucking flea that he wanted milk and he knew if he turned his back that Izaya would most likely try to slice him up with that knife of his.

"R-right..." Izaya moved quietly going into the kitchen and pouring the monster a glass of milk. He glanced over his shoulder to see if Shizuo was paying attention to him and then slipped a tranquilizer in it too before coming back into view and handing the man his drink. Shizuo hadn't seen him, too distracted by the awkward looking game set up upon Izaya's living room table and took the milk quickly downing it without much thought to what the flea could have done, he wasn't complaining thought if it mean the flea was listening to him... that was until he felt the effects of the tranquilizer and his eyes landed on the flea,

"...da...mn yo-" and the resounding thud and crack of Shizuo's head banging off the hardwood floor would have made even Shinra flinch in surprise. Izaya smirked at the sight. Oh, this was too perfect for words! He rolled the monster that lay unconscious on his floor over, straddling him and looking closely at his face.

"Now this is a predicament isn't it Shizu-chan?" He purred softly. He wondered what he should do with his victim now... tie him up and play with him for hours? Weeks? Kill him? Leave him in an alleyway for various unknowns? The possibilities were endless but he had to think quickly too. Shizuo's head hurt, that was for sure, and if the slowly growing bit of blood spilling from where he cracked his head was any clue for Izaya... the concussion he'd have when he woke up would be. Izaya's smirk widened. Yes... Tie Shizuo up -with heavily reinforced rope. Then keep him weak. He would mix tranquilizers into his food and that should result in lowered strength simple from exhaustion, he would be too tired to break fortified ropes. It was stuff strong enough to lift cars so even Shizuo Heiwajima should have trouble with it. Izaya worked quickly and tied the brute up, stripping him of his clothing too, this way Izaya would at least have a head start if Shizuo did manage to break the cables holding him and he was tied quickly too. Now all that was left was for him to wake up… and Izaya was willing to wait for that.


Shizuo: Well that's a pickle...
Izaya: I win! I top!
Seliphra: The hell you do, you just tied him up! You can't keep him there forever ne~?
Izaya: ...shut it.
Seliphra: Nuu... now all y'all review!
Shizuo: Review for the fluff or the angst?
Seliphra: Both~!