Nica walked up to the front of the stage surprised to see her rival Jimmy up there as well.
"Dude, what the hell are you doing up here! This is my act!" she whispered
Jimmy turned toward her as the audience quieted down.
"I cha-cha-challeee-challenge you Nica Espi-Espinosa to a clash of the comedians!" he announced as the crowd went crazy with excitement.
"What the hell is that?"
"I d-d-don't really know. Just pl-pl-plaaay along. It's like an improv th-th-thing or something. You know, whoever gets the most laughs wins"
As the auditorium quieted down, Nica adjusted her headphones and leaned toward Jimmy's face.
"I accept!" she smirked as the audience continued to cheer.
Jimmy walked up to the microphone as Nica watched on the sidelines.
"Three g-girls are about to be exe-exe-executed by being sho-sho-shot with an arrow through their head. All three try and th-think of a distraction. The first girl is a bru-brunette. When the guy yells READY AIM she ho-ho-hollers TSUNAMI. The man turns around but doesn't see a tsunami so she gets away. The next g-g-gir-girl about to be exe-executed is a ginger. When the guy y-yells READY AIM she hollers TO-TO-TORNADO. The man turns around but doesn't see a tornado s-s-s-s-soo she's off the h-hook. The last girl being exe-executed is a blonde. When the guy yells READY AIM she hollers FIRE"
The crowd erupts with laughter as Nica continues to observe from the sidelines.
A dumb blonde joke, clever cripple
The two children switch places as Nica steps up to the microphone prepared for an even funnier joke.
"You all know generic drug names: Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, and Penicillin is Amoxycillin, so what's the generic name for Viagra you may ask? I gotta go with Mydixadroopin!"
The audience laughed even harder at her Viagra joke, even Jimmy was impressed.
They switched places again as Jimmy walked up to the microphone.
"Having a dog is gr-gr-great, it's j-j-just the 'dog people' that freak me out. 'Oh look at her, she's so pr-precious, just like M-m-m-mommy!" Me? If I ever birthed something w-w-w-with 8 ni-nipples- it ain't leaving the hou-hou-house"
The audience kept laughing harder each time. Finally it was Nica's joke, and she was ready to bust out the ultimate secret weapon; the adored, classic yo momma jokes.
She quickly ran up to the microphone next to Jimmy.
"Hey Jimmy, you know I saw yo momma walkin down the street the other day. I couldn't help but think to myself 'Gee is it Halloween already?'".
The crowd applauded and cheered for Nica's joke.
"Yo mo-momma is so ugly, when she tried to steal money from the bank they turned off the sur-surveillance cam-cam-cameer-cameras" Jimmy retorted
"Yo momma so fat when she takes a bath she fills up the tub THEN turns on the water! BURN!"
"Yo momma so poor she wears a McDonald's uniform t-to chur-chur-church! TAKE THAT SI-SI-SISTA!"
"YO MOMMA SO-"
"STOP THE SHOW! STOP THE SHOW!"
Everyone gasped as Wendy ran up to the stage dragging Bebe by her curly blonde hair. Nicole and Cartman followed them.
"I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN ANOUNCEMENT! NICA, BEBE HAS BEEN USING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!"
"BEBE WAS PLANNING TO MAKE YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AS A WAY TO HUMILIATE YOU!" she yelled holding up the recorder.
The crowd gasped.
"What the fuck? I'm so confused"
Jimmy walked up next to her.
"She was going to make you crap your p-p-paaa-pants using the br-br-brown noise"
"Bebe is that true? You said we were friends"
The blonde stood on stage frozen and suddenly ran out through the back door.
"You see, every school there's always a bully picking on kids like Nica. South Park Elementary just needs to learn that we don't accept this kind of hatred and criticism toward victimized students, and that bullies like Bebe should learn to be just and fair to others." Wendy stated.
From backstage Kyle came out and took out his phone.
"Yeah, and remember that bully video our friend Stan created not too long ago?"
He quickly logged onto youtube and played the video aloud. When it was over the crowd slowly began to stand up and applaud. Wendy smiled.
"Wow they're applauding me! They must have been truly inspired by my speech!
During the applause, Mr. Garrison walked up to the front of the stage with the giant check for 500 dollars and a large golden trophy and shiny medal.
"Wow, in all my years of teaching I have got to admit I have never seen so much inspiration and talent from none other than…"
Wendy's grin grew wider as she began to walk back up to the microphone ready to accept her prize.
Wendy stopped dropped her jaw.
"WHAT?" she yelled.
"What? Really? COOL!" Kyle yelled.
He ran past Wendy to accept his prize. The audience continued to applaud and took pictures of the winner as all of the contestants swarmed around the ginger congratulating him.
"But I-But you-But he-But,but…WHAT?"
"Wow I was really blown away by Kyle's act, weren't you?" Nicole asked.
"NO! I MADE A SPEECH ABOUT ANTI-BULLYING HE JUST PLAYED A VIDEO OFF OF YOUTUBE!"
"Oh well, thank god Bebe didn't send those texts"
Wendy sighed of relief remembering they had gotten back their phones from the fat fuck during Nica and Jimy's face-off.
After everyone left the school, Kyle, Nica, Cartman, Stan, Nicole, and Wendy hung out by the flagpole admiring the 500 dollar check.
"What do you think is better? A check for 500 bucks, or a free trip to Hollywood?"
"Definitely the Hollywood" Stan answered.
"Because dude that's where all the celebrities live"
"And the wood" Nica added.
Everyone laughed as Jessica and Kenny walked toward them holding hands.
"Hey guys!" Kenny greeted.
"Kyle won the talent show!" Nicole shouted.
"Yeah, the show that I was supposed to win!" Wendy muttered
"Yeah we already heard. Stan tweeted it like 80 billion times" Jessica replied.
"So where have you pervets been all this time?" Nica asked.
"At the motha-fuckin strippclub" said Kenny.
Everyone froze and stared at them.
"Well screw you perverted faggots I'm going home" Cartman said getting up and waddling his way home.
"Hahaha just kidding, we were downtown" Jessica giggled.
Everyone quietly laughed. Suddeny Jimmy came out of the school building holding a big bouquet of pink tulips.
"Hey there f-f-fellas"
"Sup Jimmy, great show tonight!" Nica said getting up and fist bumping him.
"Thanks. I just wanted to d-d-deliver these flowers to y-y-you" he said handing her the bouquet.
"Flowers? For me?"
"Yes. Apparently someone in our cl-class has a b-b-big cr-crush on you"
"Who?" Stan asked.
"He said n-not to give away h-h-his name"
Nica stared at all the guys wondering who it could have been from.
"Is he one of these guys?" she asked.
"M-m-maybe it is, and maybe i-i-it isn't"
"That's the thing about crushes you're not supposed to know" Nicole pointed out.
Suddenly Nica spotted her mom's car from across the street.
"Looks like your ride is here" Kyle said smiling.
"Yep, well see you guys later!" she called waving at all her friends.
Wow, I've never felt so alive! Nothing could possibly make this day go wrong, nothing!
Her mom rolled down the window before letting her daughter hop inside the vehicle.
"Nica sorry to tell you this but we can't afford to pay bills and taxes, so were selling the car"
HAHAHAHA so yeah that's the end of it :D Again I'm sorry for grammar mistakes and all that. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, if not I'm sorry it was the best I could . My next fanfic will include my two OC's plus another one (don't worry it's my last OC). The new OC and Kyle take a trip to Hollywood (or perhaps not : ) and end up in a heap of trouble so stay tuned. Also hints on who Nica's crush is will be revealed, so plz keep reading my fics