Disclaimer: I don't own anything, or anyone, from Pandora Hearts.

AN: Hello there readers! This fic is for Lovely Demon, and I thought that I would give a little of my (made up) background to the story, otherwise it might not make sense, would it? Anyway, in this fic, there is no Alice, she's already left, and Raven has already finally decided to tell Oz that he is really Gilbert. This fic is set a few weeks after the secret has been told. I hope that this doesn't bother you, and that you enjoy the fic! Happy reading. OH! And please don't forget to leave a review, as I would love to hear your thoughts and criticism. xD

-dreams and notes-

Words He Thought He Would Never Say

Oz pounded his fist against the shower wall tiles, hot steamy water pounding along his back and neck as hot tears blurred his vision before falling and mixing into the water that was churning down the drain.

He hated himself and his shameful feelings. Especially for crying.

The blonde smashed his hand once more against the pristine white tiles, breaking a few, before sliding down so that he was kneeling on the ground, the harsh hot water pouring over his head, neck and back, before dripping in streams down the backs of his legs and feet.

Green eyes that were cloudy with tears closed as Oz lent his head against the smooth tile, thinking about something forbidden and wrong, something that shouldn't have been in his mind, or in his heart.
He was in love with his servant.
He loved the way that the black hair would hide the beautiful blue eyes, and the way it danced in the wind. He loved how the stunning baby blue eyes would show every emotion and thought unconsciously. But most of all, he loved Gil for the person that he was, for the person that he made Oz want to be.

Yet he knew that Gil, formerly known to him as Raven, would never feel that way towards him. There was nothing to like about being stuck inside the 15 year old body, while the man he loved and lusted after was 25. There was no way that Gil would ever see past the 15 year old body, yet inside, they were the same age.

Once again, Oz hung his head in shame.


Gil paced in front of the fire, always keeping on eye on the clock that was sitting on the mantle. He sighed as another moment came and went. He looked back down again.

27 minutes… What's taking so long? Oz should be out of the shower now… I want some hot water too…
He let out another sigh, but this one was a mix between a groan, sigh and a growl, as the thoughts passed through his head.

28 minutes…

The raven haired man grunted in anger before walking to his room, quickly pulling off his boots, socks and hat, all in one smooth movement. In another, he had taken off his cape and his vest, leaving him dressed in only his pants and his white ruffled shirt. He quickly walked out of his room, and started to walk towards the door at the end of the hall.

To be honest, as much as he wanted his shower, he was worried about Oz. Oz had never been this long in a shower, ever. And he had looked upset before he entered to bathroom.

With a heavy heart, and an even heavier conscious, Gil sighed, and stood at the front of the bathroom door.


Oz sighed as he heard Gil's tentative knock on the door, before the beautiful, soft, hesitant voice came through the wood.

"Oz? Are you alright?"
Oz swallowed before he answered, with a simple, "Yes." His voice came out raw, and it was clear that he had been crying. He knew that he would probably be making Gil worry about him more, but there was nothing he could do. He wanted to stay under the water, and just hide, for as long as he could, but it seemed that Gil had other ideas.

"Master, I'm going to come in."

And before Oz could mutter a word, or make a noise, Gil had pushed open the door. And what he saw shocked him.

Oz was sitting on the floor with his knees up to his chest, the pounding and scolding hot water running over him. There were broken titles next and around his feet, and he could clearly see from where they had fallen.

"Oz…" His voice came out in a worried whisper, causing the blonde's eyes to fill and overflow with tears once again.

When Gil saw the tears through the water, it took him but a moment to reach out and hold the sobbing boy, tears and water drenching his white clothes, so that he was almost naked.

As soon as Oz had felt the strong, muscular arms band around him, he fell forward so that his face was in the raven's chest, tears falling from his eyes and onto the wet, smooth chest that was barely covered by the thin wet shirt.


It took 15 minutes to calm the blonde down and before both of them stood and turned off the taps. Gil reached for the giant, fluffy, warm white towel, and gently wrapped it around the slightly shaking boy.

Looks like I got my shower after all…

The raven haired man sighed again as he started to dry off the 15 year old in front of him. In reality, he knew that Oz was the same age as him, but it was hard as he was stuck in a 15 year olds body.

He knew that Oz would never love him, the way that he loved Oz.

He looked up into the wide green eyes, and felt himself getting harder. He was about to step away when he noticed that Oz too, was hard.

"… Oz?"

The blonde blushed, and he knew that he couldn't hold back any longer. With a low growl, he pushed himself forward and latched his lips onto the full, pink lips that opened with surprise. Gil groaned as he felt the softness of them, and immediately licked the seam, begging for entrance.

Before Oz could think, his lips opened, and his arms wrapped around the man that was kissing him. He felt Gil's tongue touch his, and he felt even more heat curl around the pit of his stomach, and pool in his already hard member.

They both groaned softly as Gil ended the kiss, stepping away slightly, and looking down. Oz's heart was pounding in his head, and the only thought that crossed his head was;

I must make him mine.

"Gil, come here."

The words were soft in the hazy light, and the man stepped forward, and lifted baby blue eyes to meet bright green. What he saw there was amazing. There was a mix of lust, need, shyness, and… love. Gil knew what Oz wanted, and he was only too happy to do it.

He nodded once before lifting the boy into his arms bridal style before heading towards Oz's bedroom. The boy's eyes were wide in surprise and happiness as they looked up into his eyes, nearly making him melt.

"Gil… Hurry…"

He started towards the bedroom, hurrying as he went, making sure that when they got there, Oz was still sure, and still wanted to do this. They reached the bedroom, and Gil kicked the door open with a bang, before slamming it shut with his foot, making his way to the bed.

He gently placed the golden haired boy in the middle of the bed, trying to move away, but Oz had his arms hooked around his neck, pulling him closer and closer, so that he had no choice but to lie atop him.

Oz sighed as their lips met in another fierce, passion filled kiss. He gasped as he felt the hardness that was Gil poking his thigh, and felt his answering hardness rub against the flat panes of Gil's stomach.

They both groaned. And before Oz could protest, Gil slide down his small body, letting his hands and lips roam over the sensitive, naked flesh, making mental notes about which spots made a gasp, or a moan.

Meanwhile, Oz was withering, rolling his head back and forth, emotions running wild inside his body. He felt warm, too warm, and all he wanted was for Gil to take him as his own.


The raven looked up and smiled at the golden haired boy. He knew what he wanted without having to ask. He quickly and effectively removed his shirt, showing off the dark nipples standing to attention, and the flat, hard panes of his stomach, the slight trail of hair leading under his pants.
Oz had never seen anything so beautiful. He whimpered slightly as Gil lent back down, and placed his warm mouth over the light pink bud, swirling his tongue around it, making the boy under him arch into his mouth. He felt heat surge towards his groin; he was already rock hard, but now he was starting to leak pre-cum. But he was determined to make this nice and slow for Oz. He would make sure that Oz had no regrets, or pain.

He silently and quickly moved to the other nipple, and paid it the same attention as he had its twin. A few moments later, he looked at his work – both of the nubs were a darker pink, and now were shiny and moist.

When Oz tried to touch him, he simply pushed the boy lightly back down onto the bed. When he saw the hurt look in his eyes, he explained in a gentle, soft voice, one that made Oz shiver.

"No. I'm sorry. But since its your first time, I want it to be all about you. I want to make you feel good, and in turn, that will make me feel good."

The boy simply smiled, and nodded, closing his eyes as Gil started to trace his way down to the pale thighs and kiss them; all along the sensitive inside, and the outside, getting close but never touching the now leaking cock.

Oz gave a whine as Gil's mouth once again got close to his manhood, but then moved his mouth away again. He was getting desperate. He wanted nothing more then for Gil to touch him in his most venerable area.

He chuckled before placing his mouth over the pink, engorged head, quickly taking the cock into his mouth, sucking deeply, making sure that Oz was feeling the most pleasure, before reaching down and taking his balls into one of him hands and giving them a slightly hard squeeze. The golden haired boy couldn't help but buck his hips, sending his already swallowed member deeper into the silky, warm heat. He let out another moan, and then a whine as Gil let him go after a few moments, with a soft 'pop'.

Gil silently got the message that was laced within the whine. He quickly flipped the green eyed boy so that he was lying face down against the pillows, before bending and placing his mouth against one of the smooth, pale cheeks of his arse. He tongued it slightly; watching as the shivers went up the long, straight spine. He then did the thing that he was looking forward to. He gently spread the cheeks, revealing the pink puckered skin, Oz's entry.
He smirked as he bent further, and flicked his tongue out, brushing it against the tight skin. He heard the loud moan that Oz let out, and he pushed his mouth against the skin, letting his tongue sink into the tight, hot hole. He almost came from the taste of Oz alone. He quickly pulled his head back, and put a hand, three fingers in front of Oz's mouth.

"Suck them, please."
Oz did as he requested, sucking, licking and swirling his tongue around the long, pale digits, making sure that they were nice and wet before Gil withdrew them.

"Relax okay? This will be easier if you relax. Trust me," he told the boy as he repositioned himself back at the boy's entrance. He gently let one of his wet fingers slide into the small hole, starting to stretch and prepare Oz for something much larger and thicker.

Oz felt the finger slide into him, and though it didn't hurt, it did feel strange. And then Gil started to push his finger in further, searching for that one spot. While Oz was relaxed, he let another finger slide into the hole, and he felt Oz stiffen with pain.
"I'm sorry," the raven murmured, feeling guilty that he was hurting the one that he loved. He thrust his fingers in lightly and brushed against a tight bundle of nerves, and when Oz moaned, he knew that he had found the spot that would give him the most pleasure.

He added the third finger, hating the way that Oz groaned in pain. He started to thrust his fingers in and out of the boy, talking to him, soothing him with his voice. He started to scissor his fingers, and then, pulled out the three digits.

"What are you doing..? Are you finished already?" The curiosity laced with insecurity in the voice made Gil chuckle.

"No, I'm not finished yet," he replied, leaning up and over the boy, placing the head of his dick against the tight hole, knowing that Oz was going to be in a lot of pain in a moment. "I'm sorry, and thank-you."
"Sorry, for what? And why are you thanking me..?"

But Gil didn't reply, for while Oz was talking, he had taken the opportunity to thrust into the tight hole. He felt Oz stiffen, and start to shake with the force of the pain. "I wont move until you tell me to, okay?"

He saw Oz nod, and he moved one of his hands around to the front of the small body, and took hold of the shaft that was now weeping. He started to play with the slit, and the leaking cum, before sliding his hand up and down the shaft, gently squeezing as he went down.

Oz moaned, and then started trying to thrust his hips, while saying, "Gil… M-M-Move, already!"

Gil pulled out slightly, leaving only the head in, before pushing back into the depths of heat. He set out a slow pace, letting the boy under him learn the feeling of what I t felt like to have someone inside him.

He moaned at the feeling of Oz's muscles clamping down on his cock as he slowly sild in and out, his balls slightly slapping the skin of Oz's arse. He knew that both he and Oz were close to cumming, and so he sped up the pace, and starting to jerk off Oz in time.

Oz came hard, spilling his seed all over the sheets, Gil's hand, and his own stomach. A few moments later, and a couple of thrusts, Gil came, filling the tight hole with his seed, marking the young boy as his own.

He gently flopped onto Oz, kissed the back of his sweaty neck and whispered the words that he never thought he would say.

"I love you, Oz."

He smiled as he heard a small, sleepy reply. "I love you too, Gilbert. Don't ever leave me, okay?"
And Gil had every intention of never breaking that order.

The End!