AN: I'M BACK! This time things will be a little different; this time I'm spoofing songs from musicals rather than Disney movies. This first song comes from Wicked and is sung by Glinda (the future Good Witch of the North) and Elphaba (The future Wicked Witch of the West) whenever they first meet and immediately hate one another. Hmm, now who shall I do this song for?
Ever since the arrival of the strange young man who after fighting with Arthur twice before saving his life and his appointment of being Arthur's servant; there had been a notable sense of tension between the two. Basically they hated each other. Merlin believed Arthur was an arrogant pig-mannered spoilt brat who needed more than just a lesson thought to him. Arthur believed Merlin was the most stupid and annoying person he had ever had the misfortune to meet. Now thanks to Uther they were spending almost every waking moment together. Have you ever had to spend that much time with a person you cannot stand? It's not fun. At this precise moment in time, both Arthur and Merlin were writing a letter to their respective parent; trying to get them to see their problem with the situation.
"Father," Arthur began, he couldn't just talk to Uther. He knew he had a better chance if he wrote to Uther rather than just being blanked by his father who had just shrugged off his complaints about Merlin."My dear mother," Merlin began. He had promised to write to Hunith and keep her informed of events happening in Camelot. Only how was he supposed to fit all of it into one letter? "There's been some confusion over work placements here in Camelot," both men wrote. That was the understatement of the year. It wasn't a 'confusion' per se. It was more like a monumental mix-up which had caused great distress and suffering on both sides. "But of course I'll study my magic," Merlin promised. That was why he was here. His magic was out of control and the only person who could be able to help him was Gaius. "But of course I'll rise above it," Arthur continued. He was a prince; he had had to deal with more difficult matters than an insubordinate servant. "For I know that's how you'd want me to respond,
Yes, there's been some confusion for yousee my problem is..." both men commented before they paused. Just how could they sum up this newfound bane of their existences in a sentence? After a few moments Arthur put quill to parchment. "Unusually and exceedingly peculiar andaltogether quite impossible to describe." Arthur wrote; yes that would do. One could not sum up this Merlin so easily. Besides Uther could see just how much of a buffoon Merlin was. It was only a matter of time before Uther agreed with his son. Merlin however simply wrote, "A prat."
Later that afternoon the men came across one another whenever Merlin was dragged along to help Arthur train. Apparently this was supposed to be an honour yet Merlin had seen the looks of sympathy from the other servants directed at him. he was certain he hadn't heard one of them comment that 'The new guy's taking the Long Walk' and one of the maids even quickly blessed herself as he passed, the way one would if they had passed a coffin or a dying man. Maybe that was what he was now. Merlin looked at Arthur and scoffed to himself at the way Arthur strutted around the castle like a peacock. Arthur however heard him and glared at Merlin. How had this insignificant person who came from nowhere been able to get under his skin like this and rile him up so quickly? Morgana hadn't even been able to do that and on the day they'd met; they'd had a wrestling match in the courtyard!
"What is this feeling so sudden and new?" Arthur asked aloud. He hadn't felt anger like this before. It was unnerving in a way. "I felt the moment I laid eyes on you." Merlin replied. Seriously he had never met someone who annoyed him the way Arthur did. "My pulse is rushing." Arthur commented. This was just like the time Morgana and her servant put spiders in his bed; he'd chased them all over the castle for an hour. "My head is reeling." Merlin stated. Seriously all this anger and frustration made him think that his head was going to explode if he didn't get as far away from the prince as he could right now.
"My face is flushing." Arthur muttered to himself as he felt his cheeks burn scarlet. That was not a good look for the prince."What is this feeling; fervid as a flame,
Does it have a name? Yes!
Loathing! Unadulterated loathing." Both men chorused as they looked at one another in shock. They had just agreed on something. Admittedly it was their shared hatred but still; they had actually agreed on something."For your face ." Arthur quipped. He really hadn't seen a more gormless looking face in his life. "Your voice." Merlin retorted. The pompous, arrogant and booming voice which seemed to alternate between bellowing orders and throwing insults. Merlin had actually already perfected an impression of the prince which he had performed for the amusement of the other servants. "Your clothing!" Arthur spat as he pulled on Merlin's scarf, causing it to tighten around his neck and threaten to cut off his air supply. Merlin freed himself and he and Arthur glared at one another. How was it possible to hate someone so much in such a little space of time?
"Let's just say I loathe it all.
Every little trait however small,
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl, with simple utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration in such totaldetestation." Both men chorused as they reached the training ground and Arthur picked up a shield, threw it to Merlin and lunged at him with a mace. It took only a few minutes for Merlin to be grounded and as he pulled himself to his feet; he hooked his foot around Arthur's ankle and sent him crashing to the ground.
"It's so pure so strong
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing,loathing you my whole life long!" Both men agreed and whenever the training session ended, Merlin was black and blue and he limped across the field gathering equipment and cursing under his breath. The knights had joined Arthur and realised that Arthur's complaints about his servant had not been exaggerated. "Poor Arthur you are just too good
How do you stand it? We don't think we could
He's a terror, he's a tartar we don't mean to show a bias
But Arthur you're a martyr." The knights agreed; each thankful their own servant not only knew his place but knew how to respect their authority. Mainly because serving one of the knights was infinitely more preferable than serving Arthur. "Well, these things are sent to try us." Arthur commented as Merlin came back towards them, weighed down with weapons and shields. "Poor Arthur forced to reside
With someone so stupid
We just want to tell you we're all on your side!
We share yourLoathing." The knights sung as they all turned from Merlin to Arthur before walking off the field. Whenever Merlin finally fell into bed that night and Arthur was in his; they both thought about their annoying new enemy.
"What is this feeling sosudden and new? I felt themoment I laid eyes onyou." Merlin asked aloud. That stupid dragon he came across didn't exactly explain that his supposed destiny was being the slave of the world's biggest git. Screw Destiny, Merlin was making no long-term plans to stay in Camelot. As soon as he had his magic mastered; he was outta there.
"My pulse isrushing, my head isreeling!" Arthur commented as he punched one of his pillows to try and make it more comfortable to sooth his troubled head.
"WE LOATHE IT ALL!" Both men agreed; there was not a single redeeming quality that could be found on either side.
"Oh what is this feeling?" Arthur asked. He had disliked people; he had hated people. He had despised people but he had never loathed a single person as much as he loathed Merlin. If Arthur had had his way; he would wrung that scrawny scarf-covered neck the day they met.
"Every little trait howeversmall makes our very flesh begin to crawl." Merlin noted. He had not seen any redeeming quality in Arthur. How on earth was an arrogant, childish, bullying, stupid brat like Arthur ever supposed to make Camelot into the greatest kingdom the world has known? How? He worked in magic not miracles!
The anger and hatred naturally had not faded overnight and the men immediately got on the other's nerves the next morning. Merlin woke Arthur who threw a goblet at him. as Arthur threw insults and Merlin resisted the urge to send Arthur flying out the window with one movement of his eyes, both of them began voicing their feelings again.
"There's a strangeexhilaration
In such totaldetestation
It's so pure so strong
So strong!" they agreed again; in its own way, their shared hatred was a good thing. Like a purge of general negative thought aimed at the easiest target; their rival. It strengthened the hatred and besides, every great hero needed a foe.
"Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last and I will be
Loathing Loathing for forever
Truly deeply loathing
My whole life long!" Both of them vowed. They could feel it in their bones. They would never, ever lose their hatred of the other. They would certainly never have even the cordial polite relationship between master and servant and for being friends- you're kidding right? There was no way on this earth they would ever get along. Ever.
Later that afternoon, Arthur returned to his room and his idiotic servant was nowhere to be found. Good. He needed some peace and quiet after a long day. However Merlin was lurking behind the door, ready to get some payback for how he was treated. While he couldn't physically fight Arthur; there were more ways of getting revenge than violence. "Boo!" Merlin yelled as he crept up behind Arthur and clapped his hands heavily onto the prince's shoulders and ran. "Ahh! " Arthur shrieked involuntarily and turned as Merlin skidded out the door and ran for it. Arthur gave chase and as he did began making a series of threats ranging from torture to execution to public humiliation. Merlin simply ran and threw taunts back over his shoulder. And for the rest of the day, Camelot was amused by the arguing and battle of wits between their prince and his servant.
Down in the caverns underneath the castle; Kilgharragh shook his head. This was going to take longer than he thought.
AN: I'm taking song suggestions so if you have any, let me know and I'll see what I can do with them. Next up, Gwen has unknowingly placed Arthur and Lancelot into a whole new kind of Danger…