I do not own Fate/Zero or any of the characters used here.
The spirit of Angra Mainyu, Persian God of Darkness, source of all evil in the world, former Avenger class of the Third Holy Grail War, and now the corrupted conscious of the Holy Grail was for lack of a better term bored. It had been stuck within the magical wish-granting device for sixty years with nothing to entertain itself with. Oh sure, corrupting the Grail to get back at the bastard Saber and his Master for killing it was a great idea originally. Not to mention the fact that now, whatever wish was made on the Grail would fuck the world up and the wisher royally. But it never knew life within the Grail would be so… dull.
Not to mention the Servants that were scheduled to participate in the Fourth Holy Grail War. There was no… uniqueness about them. Sure, the Rider was an interesting fellow but someone choosing Alexander the Great was a bit predictable. Not to mention that even it found the planned Caster a bit creepy and the Archer? Angra Mainyu was supposed to be the source of all evil and he found the guy's arrogant attitude on the annoying side. The Lancer was a chivalrous idiot and Berserker being simply a growling lunatic who was unable to say a complete sentence was beginning to loose its luster. It wanted to shake the next war up a bit. Throw in some unique heroes to spice things up. But whom should it choose?
After all, the Throne of Heroes had no shortage of… well… heroes.
After some searching, it found the perfect replacements for each class besides Saber. After all, it would be amusing to see the King of Knights fight against these opponents.
That, and it still held a grudge against the Saber class. Old habits die hard…
It sensed that the Master of Assassin that it had chosen, Kotomine Kirei, was attempting to summon his Servant. Surprising, he was the first to do so. Just what was the man who derives pleasure from sorrow up to?
No use thinking about that now. It was time for the Grail's 'entertainment' to begin…
Within An Abandoned Warehouse In Fuyuki City:
Kirei coughed and swiped away at the smoke that encased the entire warehouse. As planned by his 'master' Tohsaka Tokiomi, he had put up a show that he had escaped his tutelage after the Command Seals appeared and summoned a Servant. When in reality, he was working together with Tokiomi to have him win the Holy Grail War. Kirei had no real desire to win the war anyways. He simply wished for an answer to what can fill the emptiness within him. He had tried once to fill that emptiness with love by marrying a beautiful woman within a hospital, who was most likely to die within a few years. He had tried to be happy with her, and he did care for her in a sense. Going so far as to have a daughter with the woman in order to solidify his contentment. However, the emptiness within him just grew, and sometimes he considered performing the greatest sin to release him from such torture. He confessed his feelings to his wife, telling her that no matter what he could not truly love her and he felt no compassion for anyone, not even himself. She performed suicide later that night, dying with a peaceful smile on her face. On the note by her body, she wrote down that she wanted to prove he could feel compassion for others through her own death. So that he can know he feels just like anyone else does. She wanted him to be happy by helping him find his answer through her own death. And indeed, he did feel sadness, but not because she died.
It was because he was not able to see her die. And that horrified Kirei to no end.
After this shocking revelation, he instantly gave his daughter to her mother's relatives. He could not and would not raise her. Not after learning this…
Sure, he hoped to find some type of answer as to why he was like this through the war, but otherwise he did not desire the Grail. Which brought up one question…
Why was he chosen as a participant, if he did not desire the prize?
As the smoke cleared, Kirei saw his servant clearly. He had used the remnants of the skull mask used by Hassan-i-Sabah, the 'Old Man of the Mountain, as the catalyst of the summoning. What he got… definitely was not the Assassin he was expecting. The person in front of him was a slim, yet muscular man, wearing a red and black form fitting rubber costume. On his belt was an array of weapons, ranging from grenades to shuriken. Attached to each of his red combat boots was a fully loaded .9MM Glock. And on his back were two large Katana swords.
The man looked around the room before saying, "Todoh, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore." He then turned his attention to Kirei before commenting. "Okay, one question. Are we in the visual novel or the anime?"
"W-what?" Kirei asked, honestly confused at this turn of events.
"I mean sure, there is not really any huge difference in them, not like Fate/Stay night. I mean, the visual novel actually had porn in it! You never saw that in the anime! Unless of coarse, some prepubescent nerd looked up some hentai porn." The man commented wistfully while walking forward. "And they have some freaky shit there. And the tentacles…" He then turned his full attention to Kirei before asking, "So, are you my Master? You know, in the non-homo S&M way?"
Kirei pondered the answer for a bit, after all this was definitely not what he was expecting. "…Yes?"
"Okay, cool. The contract is complete then, I guess." The man said before sighing. "It's going to totally suck without my little yellow and white boxes…"
It seemed that his 'Servant' was bit…. not well in the head.
"So anyway, I'm the Assassin of this Crusade!" The man, Assassin, said with joy in his tone. "But you might better know me as the Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool! Or maybe not. I don't think American comics are popular in Japan. But wait until the X-Men movie comes out in a few years! You will go all ga-ga on those guys!"
Kirei ignored Assassin's ramblings, mentally reminding himself to research the name 'Deadpool' later. This was a fluke, another mistake the Grail has made to further confuse him. It was an isolated incident, nothing more. Kirei just hoped that this would not affect the plan…
A week later, four other Masters summonings, besides one Emiya Kiritsugu, did not go… quite as planned.
One Week Later (Basement of the Tohsaka Manor):
Tokiomi blinked in surprise at the servant in front of him. It was a spikey-haired blonde man that looked like he was in his twenties. He wore yellow-tinted circle-shaped sunglasses whose frame was made of metal and had a zig-zag pattern on the sides. He also wore a long crimson-red coat that had only the right sleeve that seemed to flutter with the little wind in the room. His left arm was covered in brown-colored leather and buckles keeping it in place. On his right hand was a glove that was also a brownish-leather but had the thumb, index, and pinky finger not covered. He also wore brown leather pants with brown-colored armor on his knees. On his brown shoes were silver spikes, likely to keep his footing on the ground.
When Kirei summoned a Servant that he was not expecting, Tokiomi shrugged it off as another mystery of the Grail. And besides, when the Servant revealed one of his Noble Phantasms was a 'Healing Factor', it allowed them to continue using the original plan. All Tokiomi had to do was summon the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, using the fossilized shed skin of the first snake as a catalyst.
And Tokiomi could tell that the man in front of him, especially with the silver revolver strapped to his side, was not the legendary King of Uruk.
"Uh, hey there. I'm the Servant Archer." The man, Archer, said with a nervous laugh while scratching the back of his head. "Are you my Master?"
"Yes, I suppose I am." Tokiomi said dryly to Archer. This… changed things.
"Well that's great! I hope we get along!" Archer said cheerfully. "Say, I'm pretty hungry. Do you have any doughnuts?"
Elsewhere (Hotel Room):
Kayneth Archibald scowled at the Servant in front of him while his fiancé, Sola-Ui, put her hand over her mouth in shock. His original catalyst, a cape remnant of the legendary conqueror Alexander the Great, was stolen. Leaving him without his originally intended Servant. Luckily, Kayneth considered the possibility that his catalyst might be stolen by one of his family's many political rivals within Clock Tower and prepared a back up. The remnants of the mystical swords Moralltach and Beagalltach to summon Diarmuid Ua Dauibhne, or Diarmuid of the Love Spot. He performed the summoning ritual exactly to the letter. And he knew that the catalyst he used was legitimate. So why the Hell did he summon a fourteen year-old oriental brat?
The oriental is clad in a form fitting suit of grey-white light armor with blue highlights on the arms and legs, and the number '01' was emblazoned on the part covering his collarbone. In his right hand was a spear of considerable length, longer than he was tall. The helical shaft twisted and split into bident points, and was as red as blood.
"I'm sorry if I am not the Servant you were expecting." The oriental said in a pitiful, apologizing tone. He had obviously seen the expression on Kayneth's face. "But I am the Servant Lancer. Are you my Master?"
"Where is Diarmuid you brat?" Kayneth growled out in fury. "Answer me!"
"Kayneth! Enough!" Sola-Ui shouted, silencing Kayneth before looking at Lancer with an apologizing smile on her face. "Yes, he is in fact your Master and I will be supplying you additional Prana for the war. Can you please tell us why you were brought here and not the Servant we initially set out for?"
"I-I cannot…" Lancer said, turning his head with a small blush on his face. "All I know is that you called, and I was brought here…"
"I did not join this War for unexpected occurrences like this!" Kayneth roared out, mildly contemplating bringing out Volumen Hydragyrum to display his 'displeasure'. "The War might as well be lost to us now!"
"We have a Servant Kayneth!" Sola-Ui snapped back at him, shocking Kayneth to some degree. "And if this boy was brought forth from the Throne of Heroes, then he has done great deeds in whatever life he has lead. He might not be Diarmuid, but he is obviously skilled enough to be one of the Lancer Class!"
"Tch. Very well." Kayneth sneered before stomping off to their shared room.
Sola-Ui looked at Kayneth's retreating form for a minute before turning back to Lancer. "Do you need anything?"
"N-no thank you. I'm sorry for the inconvenience I have brought here." Lancer said apologetically while Sola-Ui smiled to him.
"It is no trouble. However, I expect you to fight to the fullest in the coming war." Sola-Ui told him, and when seeing Lancer nod she left thinking, "What a polite boy. How can someone like that become a legendary hero?"
Oh, if only she knew…
Elsewhere (Matou Manor):
Matou Kariya felt the insects within him crawl about in response to his confusion. When his 'father', that disgusting decrepit vampire Matou Zouken, gave him a piece of rusted armor as a catalyst and told him to add two additional lines to the mantra he did not give it much thought. All that mattered was that he was summoning a Servant to fight in the Holy Grail War. He was getting his one best, desperate, and final shot at rescuing Sakura from this horrid Magus family. He knew the type of training the Matou mages had to go through. He had almost experienced it to the fullest himself if he had not severed his ties to the family. And after seeing Sakura, the daughter of the woman he loved but could never have, being violated by those worms in the horrid 'training'… He knew he had to rescue her from this. Before the sweet and kind girl's soul was forever destroyed. All he had to do was win the damned Grail. Then he could help her recover. And she, him, Rin, and Aoi could play in the park like they used to and forget this horrid chapter.
Even if he was not going to last a month after this War, if he could just rescue Sakura and see her smile again, then he would have no regrets.
The Servant, supposedly Berserker Class, had light blue spikey hair and light blue eyes, which had green lines under them. He wore a white hakama with a black sash, an opened, white jacket with the sleeves rolled up a ragged and upturned collar whose inner lining was black, black socks, and white sandals. His chest was muscular, and through his abdomen was a single hole of all things. And judging from Berserker's savage grin it did not bother him the slightest. A mask fragment, which looked like part of a jaw, rested on the right jawbone.
"So…" Berserker drawled out, surprising Kariya and Zouken, who was behind him. "I guess you are my Master."
"Yes." Kariya wheezed out before coughing. Damn his now ailing health… "I am…"
"Tch. Figures I got a weakling for a Master." Berserker sneered out before glaring at Kariya. "Don't think being my Master means you are better than me. Give me some good fights, and I will follow you around. You got that?"
"Yeah." Was Kariya's response before Zouken spoke his mind.
"Well Kariya." Zouken spoke, amusement in his tone. "Looks like you summoned an… interesting Servant. Just remember, if you give me the Grail you can have Sakura-chan. But I won't put too much faith on a failure like you."
Zouken then stalked out, leaving Master and Servant alone. Finally, Berserker spoke his mind.
"Can I kill the old fucker?"
Kariya pondered this for a second before saying, "Not yet, maybe later."
Perhaps they had something in common after all…
Waver Velvet fell on his ass as smoke billowed out from the summoning array. When he had first discovered the existence of the Holy Grail War after taking his teacher's, Kayneth Archibald, catalyst to get back at the man for embarrassing him in front of the whole class he was ecstatic. A war, where only strength mattered and not titles and nobility, was the perfect place for him. All his life, ever since he first arrived in Clock Tower, he had been looked down on because his family was a third generation Magus family. Even though he studied hard, checking and re-checking his thesis on how bloodlines do not matter as long as one understands the spell. He knew it was correct. He knew that if his thesis was put into practice, anyone could become as great as the higher generation families. But his thesis was rejected and mocked by that bigot idiot of a teacher! Waver had enough. He would win this war, and finally get the recognition he deserved!
Mostly, Waver simply wanted to be accepted and be at the same level of his peers.
And so, he studied and practiced his Magic before and after arriving to Fuyuki City. The Japanese culture of the place was… interesting to say the least, but simply not his style. He preferred the Western culture.
Although, he really enjoyed the cartoons the Japanese called 'anime'.
And when he woke up that morning to find the Command Seals on his right hand, he was overjoyed. The Holy Grail recognized his strength when others pushed him to the side! That meant he was worthy enough to participate in the war! So that night, he had used chicken blood (A gruesome thing in his opinion, especially because of how difficult it was to catch those chickens) to draw the array. And after stating the mantra, it glowed and smoke billowed out of the array.
Waver smiled as a man stepped out from the smoke. The man was in his late teens from appearances. He had light blue, short spikey hair with dark orange sunglasses that had no frame. He wore no shirt, but on his chest and arms were blue tribal tattoos. He wore ragged brown pants with a white belt and simple sandals on his feet. Strapped to his left hip was a Nodachi (If Waver recalled correctly) with a purple sheath. On his shoulders was a billowing and torn red cape.
This man simply radiated confidence.
"Guess you are my Master huh?" The man spoke, eying Waver through his glasses making the Magus gulp.
"Y-yes I am!" Waver squeaked out. He was still in shock from the summoning, so he would kick himself for sounding so fearful in front of his Servant later.
"Alright!" The man shouted, startling Waver before he pulled out his Nodachi and pointed it to the moon. "I am the man who has defeated dozens upon thousands of beastmen! I have journeyed the world from coast to coast, leaving grateful villages within my wake! Women swoon in my presence while men bow down to my awesomeness! I am the badass leader of Team Dai-Gurren and the Rider of this war! I am the one and only mighty Kamina!"
"…huh?" Waver asked in confusion.
"And you!" Rider shouted, pointing at Waver with his sword. "You are now officially a member of Team Dai-Gurren! Now lets go! Time's a-wasting and I want to get some steak to eat! A man's stomach knows no limits!"
"B-but Rider…!" Waver began, only for Rider to grab Waver by his wrist and drag Waver with him. Waver felt like crying a bit.
Just what the Hell was going on?
The Infamous Man Presents…
To Be Continued…
Note: Now here is an idea of craziness that I just had to turn into an actual story! The first Fate/Zero crossover where everyone but Kiritsugu gets a different Servant than intended! For those of you who are well-versed Otakus know who Tokiomi and Kayneth got. And for those of you who don't know who the Servants are… good luck researching!
I would also like to thank InsertRandomUsernameHere and cerokun for helping to inspire me with this story. Also I want to give special thanks to Highvalour, Jlargent, and all the others in my forum for helping me plan out this crazy ass idea.
I ask that my fans review this truthfully. I need reviews to improve my writing, the more reviews the better! Plus, reviews help boost my muse for the next chapter, so start reviewing bitches!