Disclaimer: I only own a copy of Skyrim.
This is officially discontinued.
Hopefully the next chapter will be easier to write, and from there, take off and get regular updates. I've been a bit stuck on this.
The fool died by my hand, but he gave quite a fight. He kept a frost troll in the Sanctuary, and it nearly killed me after I murdered his owner. I am recovering well, but I will be returning to Whiterun to resume my visit with my sister and visit a very talented healer there. There is no need to send another brother or sister to check on me. I definitely plan to arrive back home before the wedding.
I cracked my neck before staring at another sheet of paper, which was currently blank. Biting my lip, I picked the quill back up.
I shall explain through this letter as much as possible. I will arrive shortly after this letter, and hopefully this will give you time to allow the situation to sink in.
First, I will explain my absence there. Astrid, the leader of the Brotherhood, instructed me to take out the jester for betrayal. I tracked him to his old home in the hellhole of Dawnstar, and he kept that troll there. The rotten troll that nearly killed us both. Yes, both, for it attacked me. Before you worry, I am fine, I am walking and I can move my limbs freely. Cicero has been taking good care of me. He saved me, and he killed the troll single-handedly. I am jealous of his abilities to take down the troll. I am lying to Astrid about killing Cicero. After all he's done, I cannot bear to take his life. I am afraid that by the time I'm done healing, I must return to Brotherhood business, but I would certainly return afterwards. I urge you to not tell a single soul, please.
And now, my explanation. I must begin with before we even left Dawnstar, a dark confession to you. I killed Betlid. Not on purpose or intended, but she was drunk and wanted me dead for ruining her marriage, so I killed her out of self-defense.
Then something dark within myself happened. I wasn't sorry, and I still feel no remorse for the deed. She deserved it, and I know I deserved the attack for my own sins, but I am not sorry for her dead. I actually enjoyed it. The fool saw me, and when we left Whiterun, he gave me the invitation.
I did not learn of the fool's profession until after we left Whiterun, as I described earlier. When he asked me, I didn't immediately say yes. I did think about it for a bit, and I figured that it was a good profession for me. If I felt no remorse killing somebody I knew, I predicted that I would not have a lick of trouble killing for pay.
It's lovely pay, sister. I was going to send you some, until I learned of how you were doing and how you found a husband that could support you so well. I am glad you found somebody.
To answer a question, I killed other than Betlid. I was contracted and paid to kill two others, but I swear to you that these are the only people I have killed. Well, so far.
Another question I know you have that I will answer, no. I did not plan on staying in the Brotherhood forever. But now I think I shall stay for longer than I intended because of recent events.
You see, I discovered that I am the Listener to the Dark Brotherhood. I am unsure of how much you and your husband understand nor know about the organization, so I shall explain to you.
The leader of the Dark Brotherhood is the Night Mother. She's the dead mother Cicero was so obsessive over. When people do the Black Sacrament, the Night Mother hears and relays the contract to the Listener. The five main leaders under the Night Mother are the four Speakers and the Listener; the fingers and the thumb. The Listener gives the contracts to the Speakers, who distributes them accordingly.
There hasn't been a Listener in a long time, but I heard the Night Mother speak. I'm the Listener. I must have made the correct choice accepting Cicero's offer, because apparently I walked into a destiny that was meant for me.
I have come to love the Brotherhood. I don't wish to leave it, but I don't want to lose my twin. I could not tell you, for I know you, Sera. I know that you would never approve and encourage me to leave, but I've grown very fond of this life. I hope we can come to an agreement that will fit your comfort so that we can still be twins, yet I can continue to leave this destiny that was chosen for me. I love you.
I sighed, letting the ink dry before slowly folding the letters. One was addressed to the Falkreath Inn, the other to Dragonsreach.
"Cicero," I spoke loudly. The fool stopped poking the first to stare at me. "Take these to a courier."
He stood and accepted the letters before wandering to the entrance.
With Cicero gone, I sighed and leaned back in the chair, allowing the fire to warm my features. Closing my eyes, I let myself relax. I didn't think about explaining everything to Sera, or Astrid or the upcoming contract to kill the Emperor. My imagination poured in sweet memories of Mama and Papa, alive, in our old home. Back when Dawnstar wasn't just a cold, unforgiving hell and more of a lovely memory of childhood.
"Listener? What now?"
I let my eyes crack open to see Cicero, standing there in front of me, blocking the fire. All of a sudden, all the stress of work and life came back and filled me with dread.
"I'm going to bed now. I take my leave in the morning," I told him. He looked a bit depressed, but nodded. "You are to stay here, fool, if you want to continue living."
"But Listener," Cicero breathed, eyes filling with hurt. "What of poor, pitiful Cicero?"
"I told you," I reminded him, finding myself becoming more gentle as I shifted to the floor, laying down on some of the rugs. "When the Emperor is dead and the Brotherhood is back to glory, I will find a way to admit to Astrid what I've done, and let you back in."
"Will you come and visit poor Cicero?"
I sighed lightly.
"…May Cicero sleep next to Listener?"
I smiled to myself. I turned to lay on my back, patting the area next to me. He eagerly snuggled up against my back as I returned to my side. I felt an arm wrap around me, and seconds later, a soft snore. Staring into the fire, my eyes began to droop before I too, was asleep.
I stared as the scenery went slowly from dreary snow to a pleasant field of flowers and life. Cicero helped me put on a plain, red dress, and I hid my armor and weapons in my bag under another dress.
I began to regret letting the werewolf take Shadowmere. She was a very fast ride, and the carriage arrived at Whiterun at the pace of a snail. I had no doubt the courier had arrived before me.
After thanking him again and giving him a tip, I slowly made my way up the hill towards Whiterun. Moving through the guarded gates and into the city, I began to wince at the pain in my left knee and right thigh, but ignored it. I entered Dragonsreach, and by the time I hit the top of the stairs, I saw Sera. She saw me too, and she rushed towards me, my letter in her hand. I opened my arms, and she hugged me tightly for a few moments before pulling away. Sera had teary eyes.
"Did you say anything?" I whispered.
"We kept it to ourselves," she replied softly. She took my hand in hers. "Let's talk in private."
I nodded, and she lead me to her and Farengar's living quarters.