Why, hello Brain, I thought we wanted to sleep? No? Oh-Okay, no, that's fine, we can write drabbles at stupid o'clock in the morning, no problem. Excuse the accent, without IPA characters, I couldn't distinguish Queensland from Boston.


Illogical Head Gear


Silence met Commander Spock, First Officer, Head Science Officer and most logical of the USS Enterprise crew when he strode onto the bridge fifteen minutes late and decidedly not in regulation uniform.

Kirk waited, Uhura waited, Sulu waited, and finally Chekov asked.

"Kommandewr? Vhy are you vearing a skii cap,"

Spock looked calmly at the mop-headed ensign and stood at parade rest, a caustic eyebrow twitch all that betrayed anything odd. Seeing his severly angled brow dissappear into the woolen cap was so comical Kirk began to guffaw.

"Indeed Commander Spock, why have you made an alteration to your uniform, and why are you late to your shift? Is the life support system not warm enough for you?" Kirk covered his grin with a hand as his body shook with suppressed giggles.

"I assure you Captain, there is good reason for both my lateness and the Earth-style winter cap I am wearing," Spock replied stiffly.

Uhura and Sulu traded amused glances, recognizing the obtuse answer as the half-Vulcan's expression of embarrassment. Chekov turned fully in his chair and peer at his superior officer.

"Kommandewr Spock, do you need to vwisit Sick Bay?"

Eyes widened all around the bridge at the spectacular green blush that erupted up Spock's neck and over his cheeks.

"I do not need to visit Sick Bay at this time, Ensign Chekov, thank you for your concern-unwarranted as it is,"

Kirk studied his friend and fabulous First Officer closely, looking for some kind of hint. It was clear the Vulcan would use every linguistic skill in his repertoire to evade an actual answer. Seeing the blond man's scurtinizing gaze, Spock shook his head minutly, pleadingly even.

"Alright people, I am sure Mr. Spock has a prefectly... logical reason for his actions. Why don't we let him be," with that the crew turned back to their workstations. The rest of alpha shift passed with little excitement other than a distress call from a Klingon crew referencing "the cooing, fluffy menace" that they gleefully ignored. A new star system was charted, and Sulu and Chekov chattered amicably about Sulu's newest carnivorous orchid.

As the relief crew walked onto the bridge, Kirk motioned to Spock to linger back when the rest of the Officers filed out intent on the mess hall and their beds.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Come now Spock, really, tell me what's with the hat?" Kirk paused the turbo lift between floors and gazed at Spock with a fond smile.

Spock blushed again, which delighted Jim.

"And it's not like you at all to be even a minute late to the Bridge," as the silence continued, Kirk poked Spock in the thickly padded forehead.

With a flamming green blush, Spock mumbled something incoherent.

"What Spock?"

"...Leonard is illogically fascinated with my ears,"

Kirk choked back a barking laugh and tried to look stern, "What do you mean, Mr. Spock?"

Shooting his Captain a withering glare-no-one was there to see it but Jim, Spock clarified, "Leonard's fascination with my ears has led to a drop in my and his productivity in a combined excess of 134.4 percent. I have endeavored to remove the distraction, and as I do not view surgery as a logical choice, this was my only alternative,"

In the end Spock had to restart the turbo lift himself as his friend rolled on the floor laughing at a highly innappropriate volume. He repositioned the itchy wool cap over his ears, not wishing anyone to see the mottling of green bruises-hickies Leonard had called them with a self-satified and gloating grin, on his ears.

Illogical fascination indeed.


There is no excuse for this fluffy drabble's existence, but surely someone other than me will laugh hysterically at the mental image. Meant as a sort of compainion to my other story "Hand Fascination".