She's lying in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling. She craves a fix. She wants so badly to give in, to the only drug that's been worth her while, lately. She thinks about settling for a nicotine fix, but that wouldn't even be close, and she didn't want to die of lung cancer. A couple of pills, she didn't even have interest in a couple of pills. All she wants, is him. She just wants him, the object of her affliction.
No one said she couldn't have him. They only said it was a bad idea. In all honesty, one of them probably end up dead, at the hands of the other. What did it matter?
She rolls over, hoping to get some sleep. She prays that when the morning comes this will all just be a dream, and her life will go back to normal. Morning comes, and it's not just a dream. She staggers down the stairs, into the kitchen. She finds Zoey waiting on her, with a cup of hot tea.
"Do not preach to me. I do not want to hear it. Get rid of that swill, I want coffee."
"But..." Zoey tries to argue.
"Coffee is the only thing that stands between me, and insanity, at this point in time."
"I knew you would say that," Zoey flips on the coffee maker, and dumps the tea down the drain.
"What are we having for breakfast?"
"I'm sick of pancakes. If you mention pancakes, one more time, I might hurl."
"I don't think that it's because of me talking about what I want for breakfast. We live off of take out, and breakfast foods."
"That is true."
"But we haven't been to the grocery store, so all we have is frosted flakes."
"I would like to have some frosted flakes, about now," Jackie admits.
"I have a feeling that you're not talking about the one with the tiger mascot."
"No," she shakes her head, "Most of these are made in Israel, and they..."
"You can't have any of those frosted flakes," Zoey scolds her.
"Fine," she groans, grabbing the box of cereal, from the cabinet.
"Are you going to take a shower?"
"Why?" Jackie wonders.
"We have to leave for work, in fifteen minutes."
"I don't think I want to go. I am feeling sick."
"You're going, go get in the shower."
"What are you, my mother?"
"When you get done, I'll have your coffee."
"But..." Jackie begins to whine.
"And I'll buy you a doughnut."
"With sprinkles?" her eyes light up.
"Yeah, but not the made in Israel kind."
"Fine," she stomps out of the room.
She comes back down the stairs, after a quick shower. She finds Zoey waiting on her, with her bag.
"Where is my watch?" Jackie questions.
Zoey holds it out, for her, "It was on the coffee table, where you left it."
Jackie puts it on. She looks at the time, "We still have ten minutes."
Zoey stuffs the cup of coffee in her hand. "I know, but we have to stop for doughnuts."
"You planned this, all along, didn't you?"
"How could I plan your awful mood, and your humongous secret?"
Jackie rolls her eyes, and follows Zoey out the door.
That night, she finds herself at his doorstep, instead of at her own, after work. She stares at the door, for what seems like an hour. She thinks about knocking, but chickens out, every time. She takes a deep breath, and turns to leave. She turns around, and finds him staring at her.
"What are you doing?" he questions.
"You scared the shit out of me. How long have you been standing there?"
"I came in right behind you, so about five minutes," he admits.
"You left before me," Jackie points out.
"I had to pick up some shaving cream, and some cereal."
He unlocks the door. She steps aside, and allows him to pass.
"Are you coming in?"
She nods. She closes the door, behind her, as she enters.
"I thought that I had scared you off."
"So what are you doing back, here?"
"I just wanted to tell you, that life has consequences, as I am learning, all to well, as of recent."
"I know that Jackie. Life is a bitch."
"You have no idea."
"So what are you doing here?"
"I don't know," she admits.
"Do you want to pick up, where we left off?"
"No. I just want a bottle of pills," she reveals.
"That bad, huh?"
"Whatever it is that's on your mind."
"Who said there was something on my mind?" she challenges.
"The fact that you're here."
"I don't want to keep making the same mistakes, over, and over again."
"I am trying not to. That's why I'm here."
"To tell me that we can't do this, whatever this is? Jackie you already told me that. So, I am wondering, why are you here?"
"I can go."
"Or you could stay, and tell me what's going on, with you."
"If I stay, you know what will end up happening."
"You'll rip my clothes off, and we'll be right back where we started."
"We didn't start here. In fact we didn't start off very well, at all," she reminds him.
"I am not going to play mind games, Jackie. I am exhausted."
"Then I should go."
"Because you want this, you're just too damn scared to admit it?"
"Because this is a mind game, all of it."
"Then tell me why you're here."
She shakes her head, "I can't fucking do this."
"Coming here was a mistake," she realizes.