Gaara stared fondly at the blue haired beauty, which was sitting on the opposite side of the cafeteria. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her blue hair was like the sea, her eyes were warm, and her voice was so gentle; that whenever he had small encounters with her, that voice of hers always had this calming effect on him. She was his angel, which he would always admire from afar he thought morosely.

"Man that is a fiiiine body"

"Excuse me, Naruto?" Gaara asked, surprised at his friend's disrespectful behavior towards his precious angel.

"Sakura, doesn't she have a killer figure?"

" Non existent butt, and a flat chest to boot, yeah she's killer alright" said Sasuke

" SHUT UP TEME, you just can't see her beauty because you are obviously so, so, ummm NOT INTO PEOPLE IN GENERAL" shouted Naruto

" You mean Asexual?" asked Gaara

" Yeah WHAT HE SAID!" said Naruto with a look of triumph

"Asexual is not defined as having no feelings of attraction towards unappealing people Naruto." said Sasuke looking amused.


"That's your opinion" stated Sasuke nonchalantly "and quite frankly it does not matter what you think because she'll never go out you"

"Why you, TEME I'll show you!"

With a look of determination Naruto strode purposely towards the girls table; upon approaching his destination he was met with questioning looks from the girls.

"What do you want Naruto?" Sakura said sighing

"Umm I was wondering if you'd like to join me for ramen after school?"

"Sorry Naruto I'm really busy" said Sakura wearily

"Oh, um alright" Naruto said turning away dejectedly

"Hey Naruto!" called out Ino

" Yes Ino" said Naruto turning around

"How many bowels of Ramen can you eat?"


"I asked how many bowels of Ramen can you eat, per meal?"

"Uh 15, 27 if I'm really hungry, why?

"Hmm not bad, you do eating contests right?"

"Yeah, bu-"

"Do you like ice cream?"

"Yeah, bu-"

"I challenge you to an ice cream eating contest! This Arvo!"


"What's the matter Uzamaki? Afraid of losing to a GIRL!"


"Consider it brought" said Ino smirking

"So crème de la crème?"

"Where else" said Ino sarcastically

"Right, see you then!" said Naruto, running back to his table

Turning to Ino, Sakura asked "What was that all about?"

"What" asked Ino turning back to her garden salad.

"Eating contest?"

"What? I can take it, that's the second good thing about break ups. They give you great preparation for ice cream eating contests" said Ino waving her fork.

"Yes, because there is no greater achievement in life then winning an ice cream eating contest"

"Absolutely" said Ino cheerfully

"What is the first?" asked Hinata curiously


"About break ups?"

"Oh, break up sleepovers" said Ino grinning

Hinata smiled

"Oh look the triumph from return" said Sasuke looking at Naruto's cheerful face as he approached them.

"She actually said yes?" said Gaara incredulously

"Nah he's probably just helping her carry her books to the car park after school"

"That or he said he'll give her your sweaty gym shirt in exchange for a date" said Gaara amused

Eyes widening Sasuke stormed up to Naruto, grabbed him by the collar and threw him forcefully into his seat

"What did you tell her" said Sasuke through gritted teeth

"Ow hey, what's the deal?" shouted Naruto as he rubbed his backside. Irritated Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the collar "What did you tell her" he said dangerously.

"What the hell is your problem teme!" shouted Naruto pushing Sasuke away.

"I just asked her if she wanted to join me for ramen after school, but she said no"

"Do you like her or something?" asked Naruto questioningly

"Hell no!"

"Then why the hell are you acting like this?"

"He thought you bribed her with his sweaty gym shirt" said Gaara amused

"What! Eww, who the hell would want that!" said Naruto with a look of disgust

"You would not be saying that if you lost yours, only to find a group of girls hugging and smelling it, now would you?" said Sasuke darkly

"Or hearing screams of glee, that they had your DNA and all they needed was a method to use their healthy ovum to create a clone of you" said Gaara with a serious expression

Naruto felt a sudden change in the atmosphere, he felt suffocated under the tense and dark environment. Like the feeling he had when he and Sasuke had accidently kissed in year seven, and he was immediately surrounded by Sasuke's millions of fangirls. Shuddering he tried to "lighten the mood" by adding a casual soooo.

"You think that was funny" said Sasuke with a twitch in his left eye, "it was disturbing!" he said seriously, whilst vehemently pressing his finger on the table.

"Yes I'm sure it was, ANYWAY! Guess what! INO challenged me to an ice cream competition this afternoon!"

Gaara looked surprised

"What! Why would she do that? Her number one enemy is fats" said Sasuke dryly

"Dunno, guess she wanted some real competition." Naruto said with a look of upmost importance, Sasuke snorted.

" Maybe she just wants to hang out with you Naruto, You are a great friend" said Gaara amiably.

"Aww Gaara" said Naruto as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "But umm I think you maybe be right. Oh, Sasuke are you done with that?" Naruto asked, pointing at Sasuke's spoon.

"Yeah, wh-"

Sasuke stared, perplexed, as Naruto put both his and Sasuke's spoons in his mouth.

"hmm not good enough" said Naruto dissatisfied

"What the he-"

Both Sasuke and Gaara exchanged looks of confusion as Naruto proceeded to make odd movements with his mouths. He stretched his mouth open, and then began to move his lips in opposite directions and odd angles. After several minutes it seemed that Naruto had given up on what he was trying to achieve. With a look of disappointment; it looked as if Naruto was now in the process of pondering incredibly hard.

"That's it" Naruto exclaimed punching the table. "I'll see Gai sensei, he'll definitely have some epic mouth stretching exercises! I so have this competition in the bag! See you guys later" Naruto said cheerfully as he ran out of the cafeteria.

"Right" said Sasuke, "so Hinata" he added casually

"wh, wh, what about her" said Gaara a little too quickly. Smirking, Sasuke said " You like her don't you". Blushing Gaara stuttered, " Th, th that's ridiculous, we hardly know each other"

"Sure you do, maybe you know her a bit more than she knows you, since you stare at her every recess and lunch-"


"But you both were members of the short lived English literature appreciation society" Sasuke stated pointedly

"Sasuke, I do not stare at Hinata every recess and lunch"

"Denial is the first step to acceptance"


"Alright, so if Hinata is not the object of your stares then that leaves the very alluring and charming Suigetsu Hozuki"

"What?" said Gaara bemused.

"It's the only logically explanation" said Sasuke matter-of-factly

"How is that logical?" Gaara asked

" Well, considering that every recess and lunch you sit in the same spot and position yourself in the same angle, the only person besides Hinata within your clear line of vision is Suigestu. Now common sense tells us that it is Hinata, however you say so otherwise. Therefore I must ask, when did you find out?"

" About what?"

" You know"

" No I don't, if I did, would I be asking?" Gaara stated irritated. Sighing, Sasuke asked " Do I really have to say it?"


"When did you find out that you were gay?"

Gaara was stunned, "wh, wh what? I am not gay!"

"Well logic would impl—"

"I am not gay Sasuke and you know it." Said Gaara seriously.

"Fine", he sighed "I like Hinata, okay"

"Okay" Sasuke smirked

"You are a dog you know that?" Gaara deadpanned.

"Nah I'm a genius bastard and I know it". Gaara sighed in disbelief.

"But in all seriousness, you should ask her out"

"What, no I can't do that"

"Why not?"

"Err, well, umm I'm not err-" Gaara looked down at the table blushing.

Sasuke chuckled. "Alright I'll help you"

"You will?" Gaara asked surprised

"Yeah, why not, I'll get a kick out of it" Sasuke smirked.

"You really are a ba-"

"Yeah I know" Sasuke said brushing Gaara off.

"Okay, well we have established that you both have a passion for English literature, asides from that, do you know any other genre that she likes, you know, like 'normal'?"

"Oh, uh she likes romance" said Gaara thoughtfully, "romantic comedy"

"Okay, well we can't make you recommend a romantic comedy, that would imply that you're gay, but hey holding nothing against you" said Sasuke holding his hands up. " You were born that way, don't hide yourself in regret, so don't worry"

"I'm not gay Sasuke"

"Okay, okay, but you know denial is-"

"Sasuke" Gaara said firmly

"Why so serious?"

Gaara twitched, Sasuke chuckled "okay so does she like mystery slash romance?"

"I don't know I-"

"Well whatever, alright here is the plan, every Friday Hinata visits the library after school to borrow a novel, other days she studies" he added. Gaara stared at Sasuke with a look of disbelief "and you make me sound like a stalker"

"I know this because I go to the library every day to study." Sasuke said offhandedly "So anyway this is what you do, when she goes to borrow a book, you go to the same aisle she is in and when she reaches to get a book you reach out to get it too and there, instant conversation starter." Said Sasuke proudly

"Alright, you know what, that's actually quite a good plan" Gaara said.

"Of course it is" said Sasuke