Chapter One- Owner Of A Lonely Heart
"If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate." C. JoyBell C.
They were laughing, smiling, as they walked down the road, Unaware that I was watching them. He had his arm around her and she was beaming up at him but for some reason I couldn't find it in me to hate them. I couldn't hate them for being together or for connecting. I couldn't hate them for the mistakes they'd made or the mistakes I'd made. Because if I kept hating them, then I'd never move on, I would end up resenting them for the rest of my school year and that wouldn't make me happy. That doesn't make me happy and it's for that reason that I'm done. I'm done with it all. I'm done with hating them, I'm done with loving them. I'm done with them and I'm not going to get trapped in their spiders web anymore, I'm letting go, moving on and forgetting. Forgetting it all.
"Happy Birthday Brooke," I whispered to myself as I blew out the candle on the pink frosted cupcake Rachel had left for me before she had gone out. I turned my gaze to the scrapbook on my lap, flicking through the pages carelessly as I recalled all of my birthday's one by one.
It wasn't till I became friends with Peyton that I'd had a proper birthday. I didn't even know what a birthday was until Larry, Peyton's adopted father wished me one when I turned nine. Up until those years that special day was just an ordinary one; I would be at home, wasting my day away as I sat waiting the arrival of my no-show parents.
Peyton had made sure from that day on that all my birthdays were special, we even had a tradition. Ever year we would go to my favourite store and Peyton would steal a present that I'd picked out. That gave me a high, made me feel special. Someone had stolen something for me. Done something for me. That made me realise that Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer was my best friend and from my ninth birthday onwards she would always be.
Yet now here I sit on my eighteenth birthday, alone and miserable. Sure Peyton had continued on the tradition but with someone else. That someone else was Lucas Scott. The boy that had driven a wedge between our friendship making it almost non-existent until now here we were not friends at all.
It started off when he joined the basketball team. According to Peyton, Lucas had asked her to be with him and she turned him down having just come out of a dysfunctional relationship with his brother. So instead he settled for seconds. Peyton's best friend, Brooke Davis. Me.
I was stupid and fell in love with Lucas Scott too fast, thinking he was the one for me where in actual fact I was just the girl who was too stupid to see that he and my best friend were fooling around behind my back. Yeah, life can be cruel sometimes.
Lucas Scott then asked out Peyton Sawyer a couple everyone believed were meant to be, seeing as Lucas had been crushing on her since childhood.
However she turned him down, wanting to reconcile her friendship with me and me being a person who believes in redemption forgave her and we put the past behind us.
However our infamous love triangle was started up again when Lucas Scott kissed me and this time I left with more than just a broken heart.
Lucas Scott and I eventually found our way, as I always say 'People Who Are Meant To Be Together, Will Always Find Their Way In The End.' Unfortunately I just hadn't realised that, that didn't apply to our relationship. However after Lucas and Peyton's deathbed kiss and Peyton's revelation of her feelings, I realised that I didn't always want to feel insecure, lonely or close off. And so I gave up. I forgot the past and I moved on.
However I didn't count that once I left I would still end up with a broken heart even if I also had the epiphany that Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott just weren't meant to be.
That was how Peyton Sawyer's and Brooke Davis's friendship ended, maybe one day it might heal itself.
But nothing goes back to the way it was before.
Closing my scrapbook, I tucked it under the mattress of the bed Rachel had so kindly offered me and leant my head back on the pillow.
For some reason Peyton and I seemed to have swapped. She was now the cheery one, laughing with Lucas as they walked down the road and I was the broody one, hidden away in my bedroom, crying over the past.
It didn't help that I was trying to keep my mind distracted, that I was trying to focus on a happy memory to keep myself from breaking down.
If Brooke Davis had survived two love triangles, three broken hearts and a tattered friendship then she could survive this right? Brooke Davis was strong enough to pull through right?
Nothing not even the word everyone hated could bring her down.
Not even Cancer.
The next day, Brooke sat in the white-walled waiting room carelessly flicking through the latest edition of Seventeen. Not even she could bring herself to gush over the latest 'hot bod' as her foot tapped the floor nervously.
It seemed every time she looked up she was met by a sympathetic face, all thinking the same 'Such a young girl waiting for the oncologist, such a shame.'
"Brooke Davis!" The receptionist stopped her typing to listen to a message coming through from the Bluetooth set she wore.
Brooke stood, walking towards the desk with small steps.
"The doctor will see you now." The receptionist, an older woman gave her a tender smile and Brooke drew strength from it, with calm steady steps she approached the wooden door labelled Oncologist and pushed it.
"Brooke, it's lovely to see you again, are you ready to talk about your condition?" The doctor, a young man in his early twenties sent the shaking Brooke Davis a warm smile and motioned for her to take a seat in the comfortable red-leather chairs he sat across from.
"From your CT we have confirmed that you have do indeed have a brain tumour. Your specific type is called Medulloblastoma and it is a malignant tumour otherwise known as cancerous. It is formed from cells that were poorly developed in your early childhood and is developed in your cerebellum which is the upper part of your brain. It is rare that the tumour will move to any other part of your body however if we do not act fast then it may move to other parts of your brain. Now that we have located the tumour we need to get an exact diagnosis so we can find out how big the tumour is, in what position it is in and where exactly in the cerebellum it is so that we can work out how to remove it. This will mean you have to have a biopsy, this is a surgery that involves high trained radiologists taking a sample of your brain cells or tissue to examine. The operations is of course as all are a risk but it would help determine your situation."
"Surgery." Brooke swallowed as she pictured lying on an operation bed in a bright white room as doctors dressed in blue scrubs opened up her brain and...
"Yes, it would be a great help to your condition, Brooke, all we need is confirmation from you and parental consent."
"Parental consent, but I'm eighteen."
"So you are, then all we need is your consent and we can go ahead and book you an appointment for your operation."
"Does it hurt?"
"No, you will be given an anaesthetic during your surgery and pain medicine afterwards but the pain should not be unbearable. However their are possible complications you should be aware of before you sign the sheets stating your consent. Of course a complication is rare but no procedure is free of risks. Any complications may include, bleeding, infections, swelling of the brain, blood clots, heart attack and damage to the brain such as changes in memory, behaviour, thinking or speech. Vision problems, balance problems, bladder and bowel problems, seizures and paralysis or weakness. You may also feel dizzy, have strong headaches, receive signs of infection and fainting spell and nausea these are all common but if any of those do occur you are to see me immediately, I will write down my contact number on which I am reachable 24/7."
Brooke nodded as the doctor slid over a piece of paper and asked her to get her phone out and record it now.
"Ok now for the surgery we ask you to fast between 8-12 hours before, take your morning medicine that I will prescribe and to arrange for a ride home from someone. It is also advised that you have a room-mate for up to a week after the surgery so you may want to ask your mum if she can move in with you and leave poor old dad cold in bed." The doctor joked and Brooke looked down.
"My parents don't live here.
"My parents, they live in California."
"Then where do you live."
"With a friend Rachel."
"Well then make sure Rachel can share a bedroom with you then."
The doctor frowned as he updated Brooke's file.
"Is there anything else I need to know?" Brooke asked.
"No that is all, but be aware that before your surgery there will be a few procedure you have to go through.
"Now your appointment is next Monday at 10am , so I'd say eat a full meal before you go to bed so you don't wake up hungry the next morning and arrange for a lift around 2pm."
"Is that all Doctor?"
"Yes, and as I tell all my patients this journey is very intimate and I think it's best if you call me Chase."
"Well bye Chase." Brooke got up from her seat, sending the doctor a quick smile before exiting.
"Miss Davis, care to explain why you are 25 minutes late to third period English Literature ?"
"Sorry Sir, I guess I woke up late." Brooke shrugged her shoulders, her mood deflated from her earlier appointment.
"That won't do Miss Davis, see me after school."
He handed her a red-slip which she then crumpled up and threw in her bag under the beady eyes of Mr Samuels
Sitting down, Nathan gave her a questioning look which she returned with a shrug and put her head down on the desk her eyes closing with tiredness.
"Miss Davis!" Mr Samuels, shouted from the front of the classroom, rapping on the board with a pencil.
She lifted her drowsy head, fixing her half-shut eyes on the teacher.
"If you could refrain from sleeping, it would be most welcome. School is no place to cure a hangover." He reprimanded, Brooke nodded, resting her head upon her hands as she tried to focus her attention on the dead poet they were discussing.
"I expect better from you Miss Davis, just because you are student body president and head cheerleader does not give you a free pass." Mr Samuels shook his head at the brunette as she passed him at the end of class.
"I know, sorry sir." She apologised in a quiet tone before walking out, her head down.
"Hey Brooke!" Haley greeted her friend as they both entered their Government and Politics class.
"Where've you been, I looked for you at break."
"Oh, I came in late." Brooke gave her best friend a weak smile as they sat at their desks.
"Seriously Brooke partying again?" Haley raised an eyebrow.
"I didn't party, and anyway so what if I did it was my birthday."
"It was your birthday yesterday! Brooke, Happy eighteenth, oh I'm sorry it must have slipped my mind with the accident and all the news I've been receiving yesterday. I'm so sorry, did you have a good day?" Haley leaned forward to hug Brooke as their teacher Mrs Marks walked in.
"Tell me later." Haley mouthed to Brooke as she again let her head drop as the teacher began to speak.
"Brooke Davis, how many times do I have to tell you no sleeping in class, I do not care how hard your head is pounding or how late you partied last night, please do not sleep in my-" The teacher was cut off as Brooke bent over and vomited all over her patent black shoes.
"Brooke Davis, go to the nurses office at once, she has a cure for all of you late night drinkers." The teacher shrieked, as she tried to wipe her shoes.
Brooke slunk out of the class-room and made her way to the nurses office.
"What's wrong?" The nurse Mrs HillyFeather asked as Brooke sat down on faded blue cot
Brooke explained how she had vomited on the teachers shoes and the nurse shook her head.
"All you young 'uns seem to drink nowadays, now let me get my special hangover cure out."
"Mrs HillFeather it's not because I drank, because I didn't."
"Then what is it?"
"I have a doctors not, well from the receptionist at the local hospital explaining why." Brooke handed her the folded note she had received from the receptionist at the oncologist's waiting from earlier. It had been burning a hole in her pocket and Brooke felt she had to tell someone.
"Oh, dear, you poor girl." The nurse scanned the note giving Brooke a look she loathed.
"Now it says you've been prescribed some medicine."
"Yeah it's right here." Brooke retrieved a large navy bottle from her bag followed by a similar looking green one.
"Well I suggest you take it, it says here you should be taking it every four hours to stop symptoms such as nausea."
Mrs HillyFeather handed Brooke a metal spoon and watched as she followed the instructions on the label.
"There all done, now I suggest you take the rest of these two periods off and then go off to lunch, get some food in your system." The nurse smiled at Brooke.
"You know it's better to tell someone."
"I know." Brooke replied before turning over and drifting off to sleep.
Brooke was awoken by the nurse shaking her, "It's time for lunch, now take your medicine again when need-be, If you even need me I'm in here." The nurse patted Brooke on the back before pushing her out of the door.
"There you are Brooke, you never came back!" Haley grabbed Brooke's hand and dragged her over to the lunchtable where the others sat waiting.
The others meaning Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, Rachel, Mouth, Skills and Bevin
"Hey guys!" Brooke waved to them as she sat down next to Haley.
"Hey Fatass, where'd you go this morning?" Rachel asked as she ended her conversation with Mouth.
"Just around." Brook replied.
"I thought you woke up late." Nathan asked confused.
"Yeah well I got up, went out came back and slept." Brooke told him.
"OMG, slut had sex!" Rachel squealed, "You know it's always the best kind birthday sex." Rachel said matter of factly.
Lucas winced and Peyton turned to look at Brooke.
"You broke the tradition." She said.
"No you broke the tradition, I hope Lucas liked the perfume." Brooke replied, trying her best not to appear catty.
The blondes eyes widened as they realised Brooke had in fact been at the mall lat night.
"Just a stupid birthday thing Tutor Girl."
"Oh, yeah once again I'm sorry about forgetting your birthday Brookie." Haley told Brooke.
"It's ok, who didn't."
"Did your parents not call?" Nathan asked and Brooke shook her head. "When have they ever, it's not like 18's all that special, it just means I'm legally an adult." She said sarcastically.
"Oh, Tigger, Hey! I know what will cheer you up. A birthday party."
"I don't really want-"
"It can be at my place if you want?" Rachel offered.
"But, I'm not really up-"
"I can bring the beer" Skills and Nathan both grinned at each other.
"I don't want a-"
"It's settled how abouts."
"I don't want a birthday!" Brooke slapped her hands down on the table as she felt her mood-swings kick in.
"Hales, I'm sorry, but I'm not really in the mood for a party, my birthday's been and gone, you missed it." Brooke sighed as she sat down.
"You called me Hales." Haley frowned."You never do that!"
"Yeah, well I needed to get the message across." Brooke let her head rest against the cool stone, for some reason she was still tired even after around 2 hours sleep.
"Still tired whore, that must have been some guy last night or should I say some guys." Rachel grinned cheekily
"Not in the mood Rache," Brooke stood as she addressed the group.
"I'm sorry guys, I guess I'm a little tired, I think I'm gonna get a pass to go home, see you later maybe, sorry for being grouchy the birthday party was a really nice idea thanks. Is it too late to want one?"
They all shook their heads as Brooke waved a goodbye.
"Well someone didn't get up on the right side of bed this morning." Rachel commented and they all groaned, no-one except Mouth and Brooke liked Rachel let alone tolerated her.
"Go away husband-stealing whore."
"Don't tell me to go away boyfriend-stealing hussy!" Rachel replied back.
Peyton shut up and Rachel grinned.
One to Rachel and Brooke. Zero to Lucas and Peyton