Warnings: smut, 1st smut ever, PWP without being PWP, YAOI, USUK, smart!Al

Yays, I did it... in a day...


Gentlemen in museum

Two officers in a dark blue uniforms entered the police station. They walked straight in a lobby where the police reports were made. At the end of corridor there was another man, inspector, taller than the new-arrivals.

"Zwingli and Gilbert," the tallest man said. He had a blonde hair which had been combed in the back side of his head. The blonde man had waited for the other two for awhile, wanting the report as soon as possible.

"Calm the fuck down, West, we got it," the white-haired man with crimson eyes-Gilbert- said to his superior which happened to be his younger brother. Vash Zwingli, a blonde man with forest green eyes and hazardous temper, sighed but observed further the discussion between the brothers.

"So, when the bird is going to nest?" The superior asked in code language, knowing that the criminal could be ear-dropping them.

"The third Avenue beside the Benny street," Gilbert said and added by whispering: "It's another museum with a jewellery. His goal is the Leaf ruby from 18th century."

Vash looked at the interaction quietly still but seeing the other blonde to wave his hand as a sign to move, he followed them to a private room with just one additional member, a brunette Austrian, Roderich Edelstein. He was sipping his tea and slicing a small cake. Vash had the feeling he did nothing more than take tea breaks but the rumor has that the Austrian has been seen once in organizing papers... before getting lost in the small station.

"Ludwig, I believe they have found his next target," the aristocratic police said while eating the now-sliced cake. Ludwig sighed in frustration. No one seemed to like Roderich's attitude or even wanting to be near him- well, Gilbert liked to annoy him and the other police, a Hungarian receptionist, seemed to find Roderich attractive- along with Gilbert but it was too complicated.

"Now," Ludwig declared as he started an oral presentation about a "- 'gentleman' thief who is called Royal Eagle. He always leaves notes about his next target but they always have cheeky anagrams. This thief's motive isn't fully clear but Eagle always makes fun of police forces and after a week or so, he returns most of his stealing. This time he tried to flout some of us by sending us note hunting..."

"So we know he's a male? Do we know his identity then? Also, what's up with that pompous name?" Gilbert asked, not heard of the infamous criminal.

"No one has ever seen his face but his body structure is clearly men's," Vash replied almost monotonously but hissing in the end. He was one of the men the challenge had been granted and the criminal had fooled them every time.

"The media started to call him that after his big entrance while stealing the Queen's jewel in London two years ago. The man has almost always come out of the sky, and, taking that the museum has six floors and excellent supervision, he'll use the flying method again."

Ludwig checked that no one's had questions before explaining the plan. After getting all the details straight, he confirmed that everyone knew what entrance on the roof or what windows they should guard.

"So the security cams and infrared lasers are in the main room and we're not? We're not even in the Eastern wing where it just lays, waiting to be stolen?" Roderich asked, as he was a little unfamiliar with technological instruments. "I've checked it twice," Vash said bitterly, hating to be questioned about his specialty in computers. "The East is a guarded zone already since it's not open for visitors. The Western and Southern wing are much more vulnerable as well as the roof is. I'd like to guard it to make it feel safer too but we have no extra manpower." Ludwig nodded as he felt time to join the conversation. "Besides, Eagle is egoistic and surely unfamiliar with these kind of situations where there are no crowd to fit in."

Gilbert lifted his hand up and let out his trademarked laugh: "Kesesesee~ We'll definitely catch him since the awesome me is here!"

"We should get ready too," Vash said after looking to his clock and seeing no more than three hours before the action. Ludwig nodded and opened the door: "You go ahead. I'll go see someone."

"Someone? You mean you're going to drink, West!" Gilbert mocked as the younger brother worded some bar's name and shut the door.

"Better to be safe than sorry," the inspector mumbled.


A blonde man in long, brown coat took a walk in a park. This time his job had been rather dull, all he had to do was to chase his target in an old storage building. The man frowned when he noticed that his expensive beige trousers and long dark brown boots were in dust.

All in all, he had no other job available for a week so he could just relax and go to the nearest pub in the area. He shook the dust off a few more times before entering the building where the small, British pub was.

The man greeted the bartender, a happy Australian man who had used to the man's irregular schedules. There was another bartender, a redhead with a cigarette in his mouth, who just got the blonde's cold glare. Soon, however, the piercing poisonous green eyes met icy blue ones. Realizing who it was, the blonde greeted him.

"Ludwig," the man acknowledged and nodded his head once. The inspector had changed his uniform to a white top and simple blue jeans. "Kirkland, I'm on duty."

Arthur Kirkland, a British gentleman with calculative eyes caught the drift easily. "Inspector Beilschmidt, what brings you here?" he asked although he had a pretty good guess. When both of them were off duty, they usually played or watched football- the real one- together. They were always in the opposite teams and once in a while they even started fighting. Anyway, football wasn't the only thing in common.

"I heard you nailed it today too," Ludwig said while ordering a small (large) German beer and gulping it down. After finishing the beer (and after Arthur nagging that he shouldn't drink at work even though it's hard for him to even get tipsy) he added: "How many have you caught? I heard you're still called invincible detective."

Arthur sighed again, knowing where it was going. "Yes, I indeed haven't failed in any cases..." The detective looked at his watch on his wrist, noticing it was almost 7 pm. "...Inspector, let's cut the chase, shall we? I know you have work for me."

Ludwig tapped Arthur's back and stood up. "Let's go outside." This seemed to catch the Brit's attention.

Quickly after shutting the door after them, Ludwig asked quickly: "Have you heard of the thief called Royal Eagle?" Arthur snorted and put his hands in the coat's pockets. "Do you know anyone who hasn't? He's been on the news a few years, catching the attention of copycats and fans. Is this the reason you wanted us to be somewhere no one hears us?"

Ludwig winces after remembering what he had been told. "Yes, he's very sneaky and sometimes he even spies on us. I'm not even sure if this mission is in secret so I'd like you to be in this just in case."

"You know, I usually don't catch the thieves or even work with a police," Arthur said, feeling a little uncomfortable. He had a reputation to uphold, after all, and the thief sounded like a difficult case. Also, it was some jewellery again...

"It's weird to hear you saying that since you have no other work and knowing you don't refuse the job offer... right, 'gentleman detective'?" Arthur swore aloud but kept his coolness. "Yes, but I'm known for that as I don't usually get this kind of cases. That lad is known to play with police so it should be on your responsibility, or are you trying to get out of it, inspector?" Arthur asked rhetorically. The other reason he didn't like the offer was that the jewels, which were stolen, belonged to rich people, of course. 'The losing of some pounds isn't that bad for them, most of them even being arseholes.'

"So, what you mean is that your usual passion over your work is gone?"

Arthur huffed, somehow enraged: "In this case, yes. I have no intention to do something so pointless for someone who is rolling on money while the workers are doing their best to survive to the next day." Ludwig watched as the Brit voiced his frustration over the rich people. In the end of Arthur's speech, the inspector decided to close the discussion with the final blow. "You owe me one."

A silence before Arthur swore again: "Shite."


While the police was readying itself, an innocent-looking young man, a college student, followed the action far away, in another building with binoculars while dressing up. He buttoned the black, flexible trousers before adding a black dinner jacket on white collar shirt and black tie. Then he switched white sneakers with a black leather shoes, knowing they were better at work. This man was Alfred F. Jones, also known as a mysterious Royal Eagle.

The man grinned as he followed inspector Beilscmidt with his eyes (Arthur, on the other hand, had decided to check the whole building, even the Eastern wing) and decided it was a time for action. He took a small device out of the tuxedo's pocket and left the building- this time he took a lift. He laughed at how easy it was to fool the police again.


Arthur finished checking on the Southern wing, deciding the guarding was enough like in the other wing he had checked. The only one left was Eastern wing which was assumed the safest but Arthur had his doubts.

'This lad must have known that it's impossible to burst in since his usual methods are quite clear... Which, in my account, all imply that he is either a bloody tart or ready to break in from this one and only wing unguarded. The problem is that I'm not entirely sure how he's going to pass the security...' Suddenly Arthur's eyes widened as he stopped moving. He had almost fell into a trap and passed the alarming lasers, which were told to be in the room. 'Wait, lasers...' Arthur took a thermal camera he snatched from one of the officers. Pointing it toward the room, he gaped at the sight. The room was full of red lights, all of them impossible to pass. The Brit sighed in relief and put the camera to small green bag he had been carrying since the morning.

'I better check the cameras and the whole power centre,' he thought and calmly walked back at the Western wing.

The walk took ten minutes. The detective knocked the security room's door, asking to be let in. An usually tall man with blond-greyish hair opened the door. "I was just going for make some coffee," the man said and backed away from the door, smiling. "But if you are still going back to Eastern wing, then you can go make it?" Arthur glared the man but politely declined, saying he was already busy. "Has there been any problems with cameras?" the detective asked, looking at the tall man leaving the room.

"No, there's nothing wrong with our power," one of the security men's said. "If he wants to cut the power he has to do it from here. The lasers and the cams have adifferent power sources too that causes the chance of blackout taking both out." Another man huffed in annoyance. "Which is why we said the police that it's impossible to break in." Arthur left the men to their jobs and decided to check the room once more.


The black shadow was sitting on a window, grinning like a madman. Then he finally decided to get going. Still with his eyes on a corridor leading to the treasure, the man took the strange device with a button in it and pushed it.



Arthur was halfway to the jewellery room when he noted that the lights were out. 'No, not only the lights, the whole power... He must have had the small signal diverting device! But it means... it shuts down everything in the area; security cams, lasers, police radio...' He was already running although the darkness was slowing him down while the culprit must have had a torch with him. There was no way to get there before the Eagle and he knew that. 'This man must have done the device himself!'

Finally getting there, probably even breaking a record, he ran to the main room to check the ruby, only to find it gone. Arthur cursed and left running to further in East, hoping to find him. In his disappointment, however, he noted that there was several doors to rooms with a window in them. 'Just calm down... There's ten rooms in left and right. The right side faces the main entrance so it'd be crazy, even for him, to use that way...' With deciding that was sensible he started opening the door in the left side, checking all of the windows.

'I may have an advance to surprise him because the police are having a hard time with a radio and dark corridors. He doesn't know I'm coming-'

Unluckily for Arthur, after opening another door, he found himself being knocked out. Before landing on his face, a strong grip took a hold of him. The only thing he heard before going unconscious was a husky voice whispering in his ear: "Hehe... I guess you found me..."


Arthur felt something big on him and, on reflex, tried to grab his gun from a drawer, only to find out he couldn't. Finally he decided to open his eyes and find out what was happening. "Good morning, Mr. Kirkland~" a playful sing-sang voice said. Arthur took his time to realize it was the same person before collapsing. He lifted his eyes to a blonde man with a weird cowlick and sky blue eyes. The man was smirking and on top of him, only a centimetres away from detective's body. Arthur's eyes widened as he noted the black tuxedo. "Royal Eagle," he spat out. The man's smirk changed into a goofy grin. "Bingo!" he declared. "I thought you'd know better than burst out in a room criminal is without a weapon," the thief said matter-o-factually.

Arthur knew it was a bad situation and he'd have to get out of there but he was slightly curious: "How do you know my name?" he asked, not sure if he wanted an answer.

"Oh, please, it's easy! You're in every paper, the never-failing detective, Arthur Kirkland!" Arthur cocked his eyebrows. He didn't get his question, did he.

"I meant how did you know I was here."

"Oh! That's kinda easy. You and inspector go a long way back so I figured he'd ask you some day so I kinda prepared for this. Oh, and inspector went to a pub you go- It's in your file- so I knew this was coming..." Then he got closer to the Brit's face. "Actually... I looked forward to this. Ya look kinda hot~" Arthur froze when the thief closed the distance and kissed him rather roughly. Nevertheless, when the thief tried to deepen the kiss, the detective tried to bit his tongue off with no success. Withdrawing, the thief's playful smirk was back again, wider than ever. "Don't have to act like disgusted, I checked that you're bi." Arthur looked at him blankly, not understanding the logic. "Are you trying to claim the old stereotype that bi-sexuals want to shag everyone?" Arthur asked, somewhat interested in sudden turn of events. Alfred blinked once before replying: "Yea, but like I said, checked your file. I know your type." Arthur couldn't argue on that. Having met somewhere else, Arthur would have probably asked him out. But it was a different case... right?

"So~ Let's have some fun~" Alfred purred on his ear, leaning a bit forward and touching his body lightly. Arthur shivered at the sudden contact and the alluring voice wasn't helping at all.

"You must have forgot something," Arthur said calmly, not a hint of fear in visible but trying to reason the situation and fight against the temptation. "You mean the police? It's alright, they won't be coming here for a while," he whispered and licked Arthur's earlobe from a back, knowing it was a tender place to anyone. Arthur shivered again. "They are pretty damn sure I haven't stole the ruby yet and that the blackout was a bluff. Also, searching through every wing... It will take hmm... around 47 minutes 38 seconds?" Alfred watched as the detective went silent and smirked in victory. Maybe he could finally continue in peace.

Alfred was loosening Arthur's tie when Arthur decided to punch the man's teeth out. Arthur tried to land his hands on the other's face hard but ended up cursing in pain. It appears the man had tied him up with a rope and placed it on a hook. Great.

"I used a rope, just in case since you're as violent as it is said~" Alfred said happily, never getting his eyes of Arthur's now-bare chest. Since his eyes were all over somewhere else, he didn't see a smirk creeping on Arthur's face.

"Heh... That sounds fantastic idea to spend rest of my otherwise so boring day..." Alfred lifted his gaze on the Brit's challenging eyes and felt lost. There were no files about this cocky behavior.

Arthur's poisonous eyes bore into the other's skull. Satisfied with the amazed look, he left out a small laugh before kicking once but in full force the other's stomach. Wincing, Alfred backed out and left on top of him.

"... that is, if you can," Arthur finished smoothly, daring the other to dominate him. For him surprise, all that left Alfred was just laughing: "Oh, you're that kind of guy, never wanting to submit... I think I'll like this side of you the best, Mr. Detective~" Then Alfred advanced towards Arthur, this time crouching beside him and starting to work with a belt on Arthur's trousers. "Well, challenge accepted~" After the belt being undone and trousers and underwear being taken off, Alfred sat on Arthur's legs, trying to immobilize him as he started kissing and sucking Arthur's neck. Arthur felt the tickling sensation and felt his body coming weaker. After the violating was going closer to detective's chest, Arthur started shivering in pleasure but trying to hide it by struggling against the rope.

Alfred, however, was very well aware of the acting and the wide smirk appeared on him again but never stopped the foreplay. He was sure that Arthur had noticed it.

After a while the master-thief decided to get some use of his hands. At first he fondled one of detective's nipples before rubbing it. Now Arthur had a hard time keeping quiet and eventually he let out a small, incoherent cry. "Tch... Fuck..." he muttered while Alfred quietly celebrated his small victory. "And in your file you're claimed to be a gentleman... Ya like it rough?" the thief asked although the answer was clear and thus Alfred took the other, untouched nibble on his mouth while he continued massaging the violated and now more of a red than pink nipple with even more pressure. The British detective was swearing in nonstop.

"Fuck... just get over it, wanker..." he managed to say while gasping and trying to resist moaning. Alfred was smiling again- not smirking but grinning, lifting his own face on Arthur's eye level. "Aww, come on, let me hear you~" he teased and gripped some of the blond hair and pulled. "And what was that? I didn't hear begging."

"Bastard..." Arthur scolded mildly but regretted it immediately when Alfred stopped moving, now just smirking and waiting for something. As much as Arthur didn't want to admit it, the thief's talented hands were needed, especially when Arthur couldn't use his. "You want more?" Alfred teased, bringing his hands close to Arthur's aroused cock, almost touching it. Arthur tried to make the contact but Alfred sitting on him made it futile.

"Shut it, there is no way I'm going to beg from a prat like you," Arthur hissed, hoping to find another way to get it done.

The thief shrugged and decided to advance to Arthur's lower body, playing his fingers with Arthur's hips, drawing circles on it. He looked at the Brit's impatient eyes and gritting teeth before laying his hand lower, not to touch the other's cock but to torment him by stroking the sensitive area around it. The action seemed to work as the detective bit his lip to stop himself just screaming at the thief. "Well?" Alfred asked and hoped the other would give in soon since he had gotten hard just from touching and hearing the other's lusty voice... "You act... like this has no effect on you,"Arthur panted. "It seems that this will go-NNGH- nowhere... unless the other gives in... " he bit back a needy moan when a finger almost touched-ALMOST-the cock's head. "So... this acquires my endorsement so I shall-AH~ STOP IT-give it..." Arthur decided to compromise but refused to give any more in than he had to. "So please, please get on with it, you bloody git!" Ignoring the last bit, Alfred took the cock gladly in his hands and started pumping it while the other hand played with the Brit's balls. After hearing a big but partly silenced moan, he stopped. "No way I'm going to let you come yet~ My part of the fun hasn't even begun~"

The thief took a bottle out of his bag (Arthur hadn't notice the small black bag next to him, for some reason). Bringing it closer, Alfred let Arthur discover what it was. "I grabbed some lube with me but since you like it rough... I better use saliva?" Arthur was somewhat disturbed how Alfred obviously had planned it all beforehand, only he was more annoyed the delay and the tantalizing tone the thief used. "Are you making fun of me?" the Brit retorted. Alfred was silent at a moment, busy with licking his fingers, obviously affecting on Arthur and his erected penis. "Maybe~" Alfred finally replied. "Can you widen your crotch... unless you want it to hurt," Arthur complied, a little nervous the idea of stretching. The detective had had sex often but it was seldom he had ever bottom... actually he was quite sure he had done it once or twice.

Arthur shut his eyes and waited, and soon the jewelery thief pushed the first finger in confidentially, taking a small break before sliding it outside and hitting it harshly inside again. He did it for awhile and checked the other's expected pained expression but met green eyes instead. "Why the fuck are you slowing down?" Honestly, Arthur was glad that the first finger didn't hurt at all, it was more of a weird feeling. Alfred nodded to the detective before placing the second finger, a middle one, in. This earned a small hiss and Alfred stayed still, waiting for the detective to get used of it. After the hissing clammed up, the scissoring was started. Alfred concentrated on finding that one spot which would fade the pain.

After making sure it didn't hurt Arthur anymore, Alfred added the final finger in, receiving a pained gasp.

"AAH~" the detective groaned in pleasure. After moving the fingers several times, the master-thief had finally heard a proper moan. His confident smirk was back as well. "Well, well, Mr. Detective..." he withdrew the fingers from a spot only to hit it again, this time with more force. "You seem to be with a HARD case to solve. How should you RELEASE the TENSION~?" He hit the prostrate again, receiving an eager moan. "Don't act too cocky- AHN~ - just because I'm tied up... I'll swear it'll end up me fucking you soon if you try to delay this any more," and there it was, the detective's arrogant smirk. Alfred smirked at the reply before taking the fingers out.

"And so, the great Mr. Detective will be fucked by his sexy target, an invincible Royal Eagle~" Alfred declared and unbuttoned his trousers. "Hm, you sure sound quite certain that you'll get away. Especially when-" but he never finished the sentence because Alfred had finally entered him, quite roughly even. "Hm... What did ya say~" he made sure to stay still till the other got used to him. "Oh yea! My name is Alfred~ You can moan it when you come~" Arthur sneered at the comment. "You sure are confident to give me your name."

"Ha! Alfred's a common name in the US anyways so it's pointless to search and ya know that," after a comment he thought it was time to move, Arthur's nonchalant response was enough evidence.

At first Alfred was slowing down and resisting the urge to use his full force, but Arthur's challenging and cocky responses got him to speed up. "I'm not a... fucking porcelain doll... so stop holding back!" Arthur shouted aggressively, earning some extra hard thrusts. "Huh... sounds fun... Mr. Kirkland..." Alfred said, almost as exhausted as the other on bottom. "I'll take it I have to fuck you harder before you stop bitching," and as that he concentrated all of his energy to hit the prostrate. The third time he got lucky when Arthur's moan got louder as he saw nothing but white and felt nothing but the pleasure coming from the other's large cock.

Soon after Arthur's prostrate was found again and violated dozens of times, he came all over his long coat (but refused to shout the thief's name), and some of the semen even hit Alfred's tuxedo. A couple of more thrusts after Alfred was also released inside of Arthur. Waiting till all of the semen was spent before pulling it out, Alfred spent a few minutes with Arthur just to catch a breath. In a better shaped Alfred talked first: "So, how does it feel like to be defeated by a thief, Mr Kirkland~" Alfred asked maliciously. Arthur took a few times deep breaths: "Defeated? This is just a beginning, trust me, love," he said, using the last word as it was the worst mocking word ever.

Alfred smirked again, feeling quite fond of the Brit and his stubbornness. Then he heard a small noise coming out of his mobile phone. "Ah, I should go," he said while pulling his pants up. Having taken the bag on his shoulders, the thief took a pocketknife and freed the detectives hands, knowing he couldn't come after him too soon. "Well, I guess this is goodbye," he said less confidentially. "I suggest you to dress up before they burst in... This would be hard to explain to the inspector~"

The thief turned his back and was leaving when Arthur's proud voice was heard, along with the sounds of dressing up. "Since I'm exhausted, I'll rest today. That doesn't mean that I won't catch you and give you a payback of what you did," Arthur implied in lecherous tone. The reply made Alfred to smirk again, this time for the happiness of having a chance to meet the detective again. "Catch me, huh... You can always try but I'm warning you, I'm good at what I do~" And by that sentence, the thief ran towards to window and threw another rope out of it before using it to climb down.

Arthur dressed up quickly and looked at the blonde hair and weird cowlick which disappeared at his sight. Then the detective sighed and took his normal calm expression, leaving quickly the place before no one seeing him (his coat was in seed and even though he folded and carried it, there might be a chance to someone wanting to check what he had).


A week later, Arthur and Ludwig visited the museum again. Arthur was feeling quite awkward since the Ludwig had kept questioning where he was when the theft took place.

"Why did you invite me? Has Al-Eagle sent another note?" he asked and quickly corrected, not wanting to explain why he knew the culprit's name. "The owner said it's been restored," Ludwig muttered, annoyed how cheeky and cheap the thief's manners were. "So he did return it..." Arthur said, mainly to himself.

The owner of the place plus some guards were meeting them in a private room where, in the middle, was the familiar ruby on a table. "It had a note," the owner said while the inspector stared at the jewel, not sure if it was a real or a fake.

"What did it say?" Ludwig asked, still eyes on the object. "It said 'Thank you very much, I had a great ride. Your service was excellent although maybe too eager. I hope I can enjoy playing this much next time as well. With love, Royal Eagle.'," the owner read and Arthur felt like strangling someone because really, how bold can you be?

"... I don't understand that," Ludwig said, sensing that it wasn't just making fun of them again. The sadistic and slightly embarrassed smirk played on the Brit's lips. "I'm going to bloody shoot him, that egoistic prat."

The owner looked at the detective in surprise, not believing that a calm man like him would get so furious about some letter. "Why is he so angry?" he asked from Ludwig who shrugged. One man of the security, however, smiled innocently. "Maybe he would like to meet the thief in a room, just the two of them and no one hearing~?" Ludwig shook his head. "Kirkland's not that violent." The security guard, however, just kept smiling. "I wasn't implying that... Oh, by the way boss, you should really get some soundproof ceilings here. Wouldn't want to hear everything, da?"


My 1st smut! YAYS! I work this a day... ugh... i have to do some editing too

"Honey, you should see me in a crown..." my friend suggested this line to Al... I heard it's Moryarty's line. I just read it like: "Honey, you should see me in a crow..." lol dirty old me :'D


Wasn't iggy just PASSIONATE over his job ; D

I must thank my friend Hoitoaine for helping to choose Al's criminal name... and motivating me. HAVE LOTSA LOTSA FUN AND LOVE AND HUGS... especially fun with finding typos and grammar errors...

I guess the ending was kinda... well. Great. But I'm not very satisfied how I describe things but I guess plot's okay...

EDIT: Since the ending may have been a little rushed and I didn't find a place to fit it: The tall security guard went to make some coffee- which was in the Eastern wing... I hope this explains more ^.^'