Forgetting My Life

Chapter 17: Some More of the Past


"Kind of like what happened..." I said, trying to make him continue. He sighed and decided to tell me. Once again I'm gonna regret knowing.

"Mikan, Persona killed your parents," he said.

"Oh." I looked down at my lap. I'm still sitting my lazy ass in this bed of mine. Sigh, I'm gonna get fat with all the bed time I've been getting. Absolutely no time for exercise.

"Mikan?" I heard him ask. You know, if I recall correctly, this is the first time he's used my name. Mikan. I like the sound of that. A small smile graced my lips and I turned my head over to Natsume. He raised an eyebrow at the look on my face, but I didn't waver.

"You just called me Mikan!" I got off my bed, not embarrassed by the fact I'm still in my pajamas. Then I walked over to where Natsume was sitting and gave him a hug. It wasn't like a bear hug or anything, just a nice small hug.

Instead of crying or getting helplessly depressed, I am happy. Is that wrong? I don't know anything about my parents, nor do I remember anything about them. The only moment I actually remember is that brief moment with my mother by the front door. Am I upset by the fact that they're dead? Yes. Am I going to cry because of it? No. I'm gonna save those tears for when I can actually remember them.

I'll not think about it. Right now I'm here with Natsume, and he just called me Mikan. This is time for celebration, not sorrow.

I released him from my grasps and turned around to face my closet, not wanting to look at his face. I can only imagine what he's thinking about regarding my reaction. I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to be strong, because I'm not. I'll break down and cry over it after I get my memory back. Until then, I'm kind of stuck only being able to wonder.

What were my parents like? What was it like when they died? Did it feel like the world would end the next day if they didn't come back? One day I'll know, but until then...

"Okay. Get out," I casually said to Natsume, as I walked over to the closet. "I need to get changed for the ball." I heard him get off the beanie bag and walk towards the exit of the room.

"See ya there Polka," he said before finally leaving. I pulled out the dress I had bought at the mall with Hotaru. She's probably figured out a whole lot of stuff by now. I wonder if she could possibly know more about me than me by now.

The dress I had picked out was a beautiful rose colored pink. It pretty much had lighter pink colored flowers dancing around the bottom, which just barely hit my knees. I absolutely adore this dress, especially because it doesn't emphasize the fact I lack curves and a decent chest size. Hey, we can't all be perfect.

Everything looked great! I heard a knock on my door and turned around to find Hotaru standing at the door. Just like me, she was already dressed for the ball.

Before I realized it, the sun had made its final appearance in the sky, before it disappeared below the horizon. Faint traces of stars were seen in the sky and the moon faintly glowed.

"Mikan. Ready to go yet?" Hotaru questioned. I gave myself one last smile in the mirror before leaving. Unfortunately for me, it looked faked. Stop it Mikan! You are happy. Got that?

"Yep," I followed Hotaru out the door to the limo. Hotaru glanced over to me as we walked. Could she tell something was up? She has apparently known me for a long time.

"What's up baka?" she asked. Guess that answers my question.

"Nothing Hotaru," I said to her, kind of sounding harsh. We arrived to the limo and I sat comfortably inside. Nice. Hotaru has great taste. She's the one who picked this limo out after all. I'm so glad Natsume and Ruka, who is actually Hotaru's date, decided to take another ride there. Natsume's my date for "business" reasons though, and Hotaru and Ruka got stuck together because they were the last two left.

When Hotaru got in, she instantly took out her baka gun and shot me straight in the face. "What was that for?" I yelled at Hotaru.

"When will you stop lying to me? Something is up Mikan. I'm not an idiot like you."

"What do you know?" I asked, venom hinting my words.

"Enough Mikan. I know about Hayate, Persona, Natsume, and the deal that's going on tonight." My eyes widened and she just continued staring at me, like there was nothing going on.

"How? What? You know?" I asked, kind of at a loss of words.

"No duh. I just told you didn't I."

"But how long?"

"I'm not going to say everything on how I found out. The point is I know. Now, what did Natsume say to you when he was at your house?" I told her about everything. Like normal, she showed no surprise.

-Hotaru's POV-

When will this baka ever learn? Even from a distance I could tell she has always been clueless. When Mikan first showed up at Gakuen Alice, I was actually surprised. Especially by her actions. She had told me nothing previous to that day. I had to find out from the freaking papers that her parent's died! I thought she just shut me out because of her parents and from a distance I was forced to observe her and thought something was up.

I actually already knew Natsume and Ruka had been involved in something fishy, but not Mikan. Somehow I can't picture little innocent Mikan being affiliated with that group of people. Of course my denial kept the truth from me...

I noticed Mikan spending an awful a lot of time with Natsume. At first I thought, they're just seat mates. Could just be that they're fond of each other. It was more than just fondness...

-Past-

Why the hell did Narumi freaking make me stay after school? He really didn't need help from me to decide something so ridiculous. Who asks their student what shirt would look better on them. Frilly or v-neck or both? What the hell? I swear I'm going to kill that teacher one of these days.

I was about to turn the corner when I heard Mikan's voice. I stopped and leaned my body flat against the wall, planning to eavesdrop. I peeked my head out from behind the wall and saw Mikan and Natsume talking with each other. More like arguing actually. Natsume was looking unusually pissed off and Mikan was plain out furious.

Mikan tried walking away but Natsume grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. He pretty much just pinned her there. What did I walk into?

"Natsume! Just leave me alone!" Mikan shouted, turning her head away so she doesn't have to face Natsume.

"So you're just going to forget and deny that it ever happened?" Natsume asked, obviously scaring Mikan. I could tell she was trying not to show it, but she was scared of Natsume right now. But why?

"It was just a caught up in the moment type of thing Natsume," she said, turning back to face Natsume, glaring at him. "Nothing more," she said through gritted teeth.

Natsume took one of his fists and slammed it against the wall next to Mikan's head. "Really? Don't say you don't feel it too Polka." He then leaned down next to her ear and whispered something into it. Mikan's eyes widened and her face was completely flushed. She began wriggling around under his grasp. He let go and let her go.

I leaned back against the wall and saw Mikan crying as she ran away from Natsume. What happened?

That's it! I'm going to kill Natsume for making Mikan cry. I don't care if she feels like we're not friends anymore. She is my friend god dammit.

After Mikan was gone, I came out from the corner and walked over to Natsume. He was pacing back and forth, whispering multiple profanities under his breath. He saw me and turned towards my direction to face me.

"What do you want?" he asked, obviously not happy with my presence. I rolled my eyes and talked regularly, well for me at least.

"Don't you dare even think about hurting Mikan." Even though I'm pretty sure he just did, I still wanted to threaten him. "You'll have me to deal with once that happens." He just scoffed and walked off with his hands in his pockets.

It's been a while since that happened. After that, they seemed to go back to normal. What ever they were fighting over, was forgotten and left behind. A few weeks later Mikan disappeared...

"So where's the bitchy Mikan today?" Sumire asked Luna. I would ignore them, but they're talking about Mikan.

"Don't know," Luna responded. She smacked the gum that was in her mouth and continued talking, "I think she went to Hawaii, or something like that."

"Really? That lucky bitch." The fan girls have been unbelievably bored lately. So they have been up to nothing but gossip. Natsume hasn't showed up a day since Mikan left school. Some people are even saying they are together.

The door opened and in came Natsume, but no Mikan. The thing I noticed the most about him though, was the fact he had a bandage covering a relatively large cut on his forehead. It looked like he got into a fight or something. To my surprise, he stopped at my desk and muttered something only I could hear.

"Sorry."

-End of Past-

At the time I had no idea what he was talking about. But now I know it had to do with Mikan's kidnapping. He was there when it happened, and he must blame himself somehow.

-Normal POV at the ball-

"So you ready?" Persona asked his friend. He adjusted his suit to his own perfection and then looked at his friends appearance. Perfect.

"Of course," he replied back. "If you don't mind me asking. Why'd you change your mind about her?"

Persona shrugged. "I didn't. Just thought it'd be fun."