RECAP: Hotaru had actually known more about the situation than she originally led on. Even before Mikan lost her memories, Hotaru had been suspicious of her dealings, especially with Natsume. Now she knows just about everything, and even more than what Mikan knows.

After Mikan figured out Natsume was strongly involved in her life before everything, she established friendship with him but is now questioning his true motives with her. Mikan doesn't know that in the past Natsume was assigned to follow her everywhere and watch over her, and that's also when she ended up getting kidnapped. She also doesn't know that Hotaru over heard an argument between the two of them regarding something that happened only weeks before the kidnapping.

So far, though, Mikan has discovered she works for Persona. Natsume is also being pressured into working with him because of Persona's dangerously close relations to his father and mother. Mikan's parents were also being used as leverage by Persona once upon a time, until he cruelly ordered their deaths because of Mikan's defiance. After that she went to Alice Academy, where she met Ruka, reunited with Hotaru and got to know Natsume better.


Forgetting My Life

Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion


Chapter 18: The Hyuuga Ball

Where's Natsume? He instantly disappeared the moment he got here. I'm worried now because I see both Tsuabasa and Ruka but I have no idea where Natsume is. What's keeping him? "Mikan, why are you so tense?"

A strange girl came walking up to me, smiling sweetly and obviously knowing me. "Just nervous I guess."

"Oh, there's nothing to worry about! Dancing is extremely easy once you get used to it. I'm sure Natsume will be out here any minute, that's what Tsubasa said." I instantly brought my attention fully to this older girl standing beside me. She not only knows me but Natsume and Tsuabasa too? Who is she?

Hotaru came walking up behind me holding a beverage and whispered secretively into my ear, "This is Misaki, Mikan." Misaki? Okay, never heard that name before. Who is she?

"I'm not waiting to dance with Natsume though," I responded honestly. I'm worried if Natsume is in trouble, not about dancing with him.

I mean we are here at the Hyuuga Ball, but still, even with all the dancing I don't see us dancing. Together. He did say I was his partner and announced that to the whole class too, but was he actually planning on taking me dancing? I thought we were just going to skip out on all of that, especially because of this being the time and place of Persona's meeting.

"Oh really? The last time I saw you guys, you were pretty close."

"W- what are you talking about?" I asked, surprised. What does she mean by that? Close? Gosh Mikan, that can have many meanings.

"Oh, you don't remember? It has been a while since I've last seen you, so I guess it's old news already. I'm not going to lie though, I'm actually disappointed about that. I was excited when I saw that you two might actually end up together-" she rambled on until Hotaru completely interrupted her.

"Hi, I'm Hotaru Imai. You're Misaki right?" For the first time Misaki noticed Hotaru there, and instantly smiled more brightly, cheering up completely.

"Yeah. Mikan has told me lots about you!" If what she just said about Natsume and me was a shocker, this was even bigger. Weren't me and Hotaru not on good terms before I lost my memories? I mean from what I heard, we weren't even talking and I was giving her the cold shoulder, pushing her away. And now this girl comes along and tells me I was talking about her, fondly too.

How does she know about me? Who is she? "Misaki! Hey Mikan!" Tsubasa came running over to us, Ruka following him slowly. He hugged Misaki and held her hand as he faced me and Hotaru. Are they dating? Is that how I know her?

"Where's Natsume?" I asked, still curious about his whereabouts. But Tsuabasa's chipper attitude couldn't possibly mean he's in a bad position, right? Tsubasa instantly frowned and he looked over to Ruka. Well that's reassuring. Not.

"Persona told him to stay behind. They had some business to attend to," Ruka replied, his mind off thinking about what Natsume was up to. A young man wearing a tux walked up to Ruka and whispered into his ear. "Looks like Persona is actually ready for you now. Wait, Hotaru! What are you doing here?" Suddenly, everyone realized she had been there the whole time. She didn't even bat an eye the whole conversation or make a single noise, I'm not surprised.

"She already knows everything," I annoyingly responded, not liking how she did manage to figure it all out on her own.

"Okay then," Ruka suspiciously said, switching his attention back to me. "Just go to the regular room, he'll be there."

"'Kay." Then I was off.

From what I remembered the "regular" room was room A306. I took my hand and slowly wrapped around the door knob. Was he inside? Was Natsume there too? What were they doing? I opened the door up and only made it in two feet before someone grabbed me and put a cloth on my mouth.

Haven't I been in a situation like this before? Knocked unconscious without a single warning...

"You know it's creepy how you constantly follow me around," I shouted out to Natsume who was a few blocks behind. It was practically an invitation and he came running up next to me. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I don't want to be near Natsume now. It's just frustrating truthfully. What annoys me most, though, is that he seems completely oblivious to it!

"I would think you'd like it, knowing as how you're a member of my fan club," he said, only annoying me further. I am already bothered enough by that membership. Does he really have to bother me further because of it?

I started swinging the bag I got from the gas station back and forth. Ever since Natsume started following me, I have ditched my driver and began walking. This is nice though, because when I'm here, here with Natsume, I can relax.

"Oh shush," I replied. "Unless you really want another fan girl on your hands." Then I decided to try to bother Natsume and hugged on to him, giggling. "Natsume your so smart and handsome! You always know what to do and I just love you so much!"

"Hands off Polka," he suddenly said, even going as far to shake me off and calling me Polka, much to my disliking. I punched him in the ribs lightly, and like what I expected, he barely flinched.

"You know I don't like being called that! You're such a freakin' pervert!" I hate how I got that nick name. It was a complete accident anyways! That day... that day was absolutely crazy.

"Okay sunshines! I would like you to meet our brand new student, Mikan Sakura!" that was my cue and so I went into the classroom. As expected I saw Natsume and Ruka sitting in the back together. Persona had purposefully sent me here, because of those two and because it was close to him back at the hotel.

I greeted the class and gave them all a smile. That's when I saw Hotaru, my best friend... "Mikan?" Hotaru is here? How did I not know that sooner? It hasn't been that long, but ever since... ever since that incident with my parents I have avoided her. Unfortunately, I know I have to continue that.

"What are you doing here?" I coldly snapped. Remember, the sooner you shake her off the better.

"I go here baka."

"Hotaru I don't want you talking to me anymore. I'm sick and tired of wasting my time on your cold attitude and blackmailing ways. It disgusts me! And now that my parents aren't here anymore, I don't have to be friends with the lonely neighbor down the street." There I said it. That was the excuse I had thought to say to her, that it was because of my parents. That's what I decided on.

I started walking away over to my desk, unintentionally whispering, "sorry."

The whole class was staring at me, probably thinking of what the heck just happened between the two of us. Knowing Hotaru, they probably had no idea she even had friends."Do you have something to say?" I asked, still upset from having to depart from Hotaru like that.

"No. You're fine. I'm Luna by the way," a girl said, obviously Luna. She got up out of her seat, and it was then I noticed the teacher wasn't even there anymore. Where did he go? She leaned down and whispered in to my ear, "Want to join the Ruka and Natsume Fan Club?" Fan club? Those two have a club? This instantly got a giggle from me.

"So you're Natsume?" I asked, pretending not to know him. "Sure Luna I'll join." Seems like a good idea. It gets me away from Hotaru and it's something I would never do usually. It's perfect.

I thought everything would run smoothly after that, but then I saw the smirk Natsume had drawn on his face. What was he smirking at? That look of his definitely can't be good and always makes me nervous.

"So, you joined our fan-club?" Ruka asked me. Everyone had left and it was just us three together in the class. He smiled at me sweetly, obviously trying to make me feel more comfortable.

"Yeah. Don't give yourself the satisfaction though. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time."

"Okay," he said back, continuing to stare at me.

"Well I better get going," I said, getting up and collecting all my stuff. This was fun and all, but it was sort of awkward with no real conversation.

"Where are you going Polka-dots?" What did Natsume just say? Polka-dots? Wait... where have I seen that today? I could tell instantly that my face was completely red, and the look of triumph was written all over his face.

"What's Polka-dots mean?" Ruka asked. That's my underwear!Oh my gosh! How did he see it?

"NATSUME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAW IT! WHEN? HOW? JEEZ, YOUR SUCH A PERVERT!" I shouted out, leaving the room all together, angry out of my mind, "go to hell!"

I could hear Natsume laughing back in the classroom.

"You know I don't like being called that," I complained, " you're such a freakin' pervert!" Still, I like thinking of that, because that day I had been so upset about my parent's dying and having to yell at Hotaru, but then because of my underwear being seen, I had completely thought of that instead. My worries had been completely altered and I loved that.

Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, holding a fabric tightly to my mouth. I managed to let out a small scream, but it barely seemed like anything. Pretty soon my mind went completely fuzzy and my eye lids were barely open. Still, even with that, I could see Natsume struggling. Someone came up from behind and hit him in the head, and that's when I was gone.

I remember thinking about Natsume in that moment. Thinking about how only moments earlier my worries were over him... normal teenage girl worries too.

(A/N: Because this may be a little confusing, I'll just explain that the next stuff is all stuff that happened only a week before Mikan's kidnapping. Mikan is just remembering it like this because I decided to be confusing like that.)

"I know you're following me," I teasingly said, turning around and seeing Natsume coming out of a bush he was hiding in.

"How long?"

"You have been following me a while now haven't you? Did Persona put you up to this?" I asked. He came and walked up the stairs leading to the porch in front of my house where I was standing. I touched my hand on the door knob, preparing to go inside.

"We need to talk Mikan," he said. I remember I used to complain whenever he told me this, knowing it's always about Persona. This time I know it isn't, and still I'm resisting him. I can't do this.

"About what?" I asked a little harsher. He was too close. He jumped forward and put one hand on the door beside my head, and used his other to take my hand off the door knob. Unfortunately I followed his lead, lost in his scent and eyes that stared intently at me now.

"Accept it Mikan," he whispered, leaning in and saying it into my ear, "this is happening." My heart nearly stopped and I swear I wasn't even breathing.

"Natsume-" he didn't even give me a chance to complain though, because he was kissing me. Yes, kissing me. I know I can't do this... I know I... but I... I let myself in, though, and kissed him back.


Okay so it has been a long while since I last updated! Sorry about that! Anyways, please review!