It's awful. It's awful, and wrong, and sickening - not to mention pointless - but I'm addicted now. I'll always go back for more, no matter how painful it becomes.

Light agrees with me occasionally when I mention things like this to him, but generally disregards it. "It's enjoyable, so why question it?" he says. "I care about you and you care about me, so why question me, Ryuzaki?"

He still calls me Ryuzaki, though I've long since told him my real name. I've gotten sloppy, vulnerable, and stupid. In the throes of passion, I'll tell him whatever he wants; in his arms, I open my heart and mind to him.

It began a few months ago, only a few weeks after he began to assist with the Kira case. It was so slow at first; he would steal kisses from me when we were alone, leaving me bemused and surprised.

I was a 24 year old virgin who was unused to bodily contact. I had never been kissed before. It took me a while to determine why now, why I suddenly had this need for companionship. then I realized I had never been attracted to anyone before because no one else I had ever met was like him; he was entirely unique.

Every day, I warned myself not to fall too far; to not let myself be changed beyond my own recognition, and yet...I had stopped caring at some point. I needed him. Whether or not he was Kira was hardly relevant to that simple, immutable fact.

I still yearn wantonly for him, his caress, his scent, his taste..

"Ryuzaki." I heard my name being softly called. I looked up to see Light's familiar smile, warm, his hair covering his eyes. Reaching up, I brushed it away, so I could see how that smile affected those chestnut-brown eyes, the way his eyelids lowered slightly and the corners wrinkled a bit.

"You were dozing off again," he informed me. It happens often, to both of us. I slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position beside him. We were together in my brightly lit room, on the bed. My shirt was abandoned on the floor, though Light seemed to be fully clothed. I had grown used to being half dressed around him, no longer embarrassed.

Light slid his slender arms around my chest, still smiling brightly, and tilted my head up. He brushed his lips against mine, and I pressed back

I allowed him to urge me down onto my back against the pillows, gently wedging his hips in between my legs. He nudged my lower lip with his tongue, and I felt his hands flow against my skin, up my torso and along my arms, intertwining his fingers with mine.

Light pressed his thigh against my need and began to grind it back and forth, sending innumerable jolts of pleasure shuddering through me. His tongue began to explore my mouth and my hips pushed against that grinding contact, begging for more. One of his hands left mine to give my nipples some attention and I arched into him, all the sensations mixing into one consecutive wave of need.

"Unf, ah, Light," I gasped when he moved away from my lips, to my neck, sucking and making little marks along my throat. I moved my hand under his shirt, following the curve of his back before traveling them down to remove the shirt all together. He let me take it off before falling back into his former position, working to get my jeans off. I lifted my legs so he could slid them all the way off, exposing my bruised hips and thighs.

When he really gets into it, Light isn't exactly the gentlest, and I honestly prefer it that way.

He pulled my legs up around his waist and settled back down on me, slowly pushing himself against me, the hard front of his jeans dragging against the fabric of my underwear. Tiny, pathetic noises leaving my lips, I grasped his arm for support and began lifting up to meet his movement. He grunted softly and gripped my thigh, beginning to blatantly grind against me.

"Mmm, Ryuzaki.." he murmured, smoothing my hair back just to grip a handful of it and yank my head down so he could lick at my neck. I moaned quietly, and he pulled harder in response. A moment later he was pulling off his pants and jerking my last scrap of clothing away.

Light pulled my hips up and pushed his fingers inside me, catching my gasp with a deep kiss. I was at first put off by how gentle he was being with his fingers, massaging my length with his other hand.

He stopped being gentle soon, though, abruptly removing his fingers and thrusting inside with no warning. His hand slapped over my mouth to muffle the scream that escaped my lips. He dropped his head and began moving in and out, not giving me time to adjust. A few excruciating moments later he took his hand away from my mouth to grip my hips.

Light wasn't too inconsiderate, though- he began to push himself against my prostate with his thrusts, pleased when I began to moan with his movements. He flipped me over onto my stomach and kept my ass raised in the air, pounding away at my prostate until my whole body shook. I attempted to raise myself up on trembling arms, but he grabbed my hair and shoved my face down into the mattress, so hard that I could barely breathe.

I was gasping for air between cries of undeniable, raw pleasure as he continued to abuse my ass, raking his nails down my sides to make rows of shallow cuts.

"Anh- ahh- yes, Light, god, harder! Fuck me!" I swallowed at the words that forced themselves out my throat, which was already hoarse and sore from shouting. He obviously enjoyed it, dragging his nails down my back this time to make actual cuts, going deeper than I though possible, pounding me until my shaking legs finally gave out and I collapsed fully onto the mattress. He growled playfully, lifting me up onto his lap and biting down on my shoulder, still thrusting just as forcefully.

I choked on a moan when he began to jerk me off, my whole body wracked with shudders, until I finally came, squirting all over my stomach and his hand. I finally registered fatigue and just wanted to lay down, but Light wasn't finished yet.

He kept thrusting and touching me like I hadn't come yet; I was so sensitive down there that it was almost painful. Weakly, I attempted to push his hand off me, tried to move, but he grabbed my hands and held me in place.

My eyes watered and I began to lose it from the overload of sensations, and still, he didn't stop. He continued ramming himself into me until he finally went over the edge, driving inside as deeply as possible, filling me with his seed. Just the feeling of it had me moaning loudly and climaxing again.

I waited until my head stopped spinning and my vision cleared, then tried to slide Light out of me. He helped me off, and laid me down against the pillows, settling down next to me and pulling me close. I grinned and nestled myself into his arms. He smiled and began to gently stroke my hair.

It's awful. It's awful, and wrong, and sickening, but I wouldn't give it up for the world.

A/N Tokumei no Chosha here! I hope you enjoyed this short story. I think I'm going to do another LightxL. Edited by a really awesome person, you know who you are. c:

Please leave a review if you liked it, hated it, or have any critiques. :)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEATHNOTE OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE MAKERS OF DEATHNOTE.