Hello! Sorry for the wait, but I was about ¼ done on this chappie when I forgot to save it. In fact, I forgot to save it so many times before, the automatic saving file thingamabob stopped 'automatically saving files.' :P. Whatever.
Fun fact: Microsoft Word accepts 'Thingamabob' as a word. Didn't know that.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Valve, L4D/L4D2, Steam, or anything else. I own a jar of cookies to give to people who review though! They be chocolate chip XD ONTO DA STOREH.
Wolf, Kevin, Adam, Sapphire, and I sat on a large couch. Wolf and I had gotten our bandages taken off after a week and a half since the commons attack, and right now we were all lazing around on the comfy pillows and cushions. Sapphire was playing on her PSP3 that she had found in an abandoned house, upstairs in some kid's room. Kevin was reading a book, I couldn't make out what the words said, me being a dog and all, but it had a picture of a kid flying on a broomstick, attempting to grab a seemingly small golden egg while being chased by a dragon. Hmm. Maybe if I knew how to read, it would be interesting. Adam was munching and gnawing on a slab of meat. Thin lines of slobber and drool ran around his mouth and down the meat. Charming.
"Hey guys, you want to know the first part of 'Operation Disturb Da Witch'?" I asked.
"No." Kevin muttered, turning a page.
"Nope." Adam added through a mouthful of meat.
"Sure." Sapphire said, turning off the game.
"Glad to know someone's listening." I said scowling at Kevin and Adam. They continued reading and chewing.
"Don't worry, I've got this." Sapphire whispered to me. She jumped onto the coffee table in front of us and spun around to face Adam and Kevin.
"HEY!" She yelled at them.
Adam and Kevin jumped. Adam, again, became stuck in the ceiling. Then Sapphire continued in a much calmer tone,
"There's cake in the staff kitchen." Adam yanked his head out the ceiling, fell on the floor with a large thump, and started bounding off towards the kitchen.
"WAIT FOR ME!" Kevin yelled and half-ran half-shambled towards the kitchen. They burst into the kitchen doors. There were several thumps and scuffling noises, and frantic voices saying "WHERE? Where is precious?" Then there was silence. The doors swung open revealing the two.
"Where?" Kevin asked.
"Where's the cake?" Adam added.
"The cake? Oh, the cake." Sapphire said. They nodded. "The cake is a lie."
"WHAAA?" Kevin and Adam said in unison.
"Yeah. I made it up so you would listen to Brownie." Sapphire said with a hand gesture of dismissal. I grinned. Realization hit the morons and they glared at us.
"Oh there will be vengeance." Kevin whispered evilly.
"Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, Brownie wants to say something." Sapphire said. Adam and Kevin muttered something angrily and walked back to their seats.
"So the first part of my plan is… We're going to tell Amanda Hank the Tank broke up with her." I said. Amanda is the Witch. Hank the Tank is her boyfriend. Everyone apart from Amanda hates Hank because he's a jerk.
"Oh shiz! That sounds freakin' awesome!" Sapphire said jumping all around.
"Haha, yeah it does!" I replied. We high-fived each-other in mid-air.
"Nope. Uh-uh." Adam said.
"I agree with Adam." Kevin stated. Adam and Kevin's looks of anger had turned into 'ARE YOU CRAZY?' kind of looks.
"Yeah, we figured you'd say that." Sapphire said.
"That's why we're going by ourselves." I said. "Just me and Sapphire."
"Sapphire and I." Kevin corrected.
"And are you crazy? You'll get creamed!" Adam added in horror. Sapphire and I put on sad puppy dog looks.
"But… that's why you're my bro… you'll protect us… so we won't become cream… delicious cream…" Sapphire mumbled with big eyes under her hood.
"Yeah… Kevin will protect us too…" I said. "Cause' if Adam becomes cream… who will protect us then?" I added with big eyes. Sapphire and I whimpered, made our eyes larger, and pouted.
"ARGH… Fine." Adam groaned in defeat.
"Whatever…" Kevin agreed.
"YAYYYYY!" Sapphire and I abandoned our puppy dog looks and started grinning. Adam slumped on his place on the couch and closed his eyes under his hood.
"So when are we going to do it?" Wolf asked. I had almost forgotten he was here.
"Right now." Sapphire said, bouncing around like a kangaroo. Adam snapped open his eyes. At least, I think he did.
"…What…?" He asked slowly.
"Yeah. Sapphire and I figured out a time to do it. We're actually five minutes late." I said, checking my watch that had appeared out of nowhere.
"Cool watch." Sapphire said.
"Thanks." I replied.
"Where'd you get it?" She asked bouncing off Adam's head and onto a bookshelf we had placed in the gym.
"I have no idea." I laughed, still studying the object.
"Kay'! Let's do this!" Sapphire yelled and bounded out the door.
"Whoop whoop!" I whooped and bounded out in my wolf form.
"Wait for us!" Kevin and Adam yelled, jumped over the couch and ran after us. Wolf sighed. He ran out the door.
Five minutes later…
We had all caught up to each other, and we were pretty much lost.
"Where are we?" Adam asked.
"Not a clue." Sapphire replied.
"Told you this was a bad idea." Kevin said gloomily.
"No you didn't." Adam said staring at him.
"Yes I did."
"Ladies, you're both beautiful. Now shut your pieholes or I'll take away your cake privileges." I said, a slight grin etched on my face. Sapphire snorted.
"NOOOOOOO!" They yelled.
"Then SHUT UP." Sapphire said through gritted teeth. I laughed.
"I wonder where the Witch is." Wolf said, his eyes scanning the dark alleyways ahead of us. Suddenly, there was a beeping noise, and I looked down at my watch. It was definitely coming from there. I held it up to my face, and the group came to a stop.
"What is it doing?" Sapphire asked.
"I have no idea." I replied. The watch suddenly started speaking.
"Turn right in 500 yards."
"What?" I asked. The watch repeated itself. We all turned to Kevin.
"It means we have to walk over there." He said, pointing towards an intersection at the alleyway. "Then we have to turn right."
"Seems legit." Sapphire spoke up and marched off towards the intersection.
"Follow Sapphire, I guess." I said.
Ten hours later of turning, digging, and exhausted walking…
"Well, this sucks." Adam panted.
"You're telling me… I need a break." Sapphire said.
"Excuse ME? I just gave you a piggyback ride for TEN HOURS." Adam growled.
"Yeah… But riding piggyback is exhausting." She replied. Adam opened a dumpster and tipped her into it.
"HEY!" Came the muffled yell from inside. Wolf sat on the lid.
"WOLF!" Sapphire yelled. Wolf, Adam, and Kevin snorted with laughter.
"Hey you guys?" I asked staring at something in the close distance.
"What?" Adam asked, and followed my gaze. "Oh heck no."
"Hmm?" Kevin said and looked as well. "No! Are you kidding me?" The building was the back of the gym. Guess what was in front of the back of the gym? The Witch.
"What's everybody staring at- ROAR!" Wolf roared in exasperation.
"What's going on out there?" Sapphire asked from inside the dumpster. Wolf climbed off the lid and opened it. Sapphire popped up with a banana peel on her hood.
"Hello! Greetings from trash-land." She said grinning.
"Did you hit your head when Adam tipped you in?" I asked.
"No." She replied. "I'm just being random. After all, it is categorized as humor." She stated matter-of-factly.
"What is?" Adam asked confusedly.
"Never mind." Sapphire and I said in unison.
"Jinx." I told Sapphire.
"Argh!" She said. I punched her lightly.
"No talking!" I screeched.
"Meh." She replied, grinning. Then when I tried to punch her, she jumped onto a rooftop. She blew a raspberry at me. "In your face!" She called from the rooftop.
"Darn it. But get down, we still have to tell the Witch you-know-what." I said.
"Aww…" She said jumping down. We walked over to where the Witch sat. Adam, Wolf, and Kevin jumped up and ran after us. Sapphire poked the Witch's shoulder.
"Hey Amanda." Amanda glared at us.
"What?" She growled. "This better be good."
"Well… Hank broke up with you." I said. Amanda screamed the tell-tale Witch scream.
"RUNNNN!" I yelled. We all ran for it and leapt/climbed onto a tall rooftop. We saw Amanda run into a building.
"Hey Kevin, what does that building say?" I asked politely.
"Pick-Axe, Incorporated, Number 1." He replied staring at the large lettering.
"Anyone notice the name of the building spells 'PAIN'? Wolf pointed out.
"Oh yeah, so it does." Adam said. Suddenly Amanda ran out the building. A large robot suit seemingly made out of giant pick-axes came running out as well. Amanda screeched something at it and it saluted, then ran off somewhere. We all stared off in the direction which it had run. Then a huge explosion came from the direction of the supermarket that had been abandoned. A mushroom cloud filled the air, and pick-axes started raining down from the sky.
"Woah… COOL!" Sapphire said laughing. I laughed too, until I saw a giant pick-axe falling towards us. We jumped out the way and the oversized mining tool landed right where we had been standing. Sapphire and I stood up and looked around for the guys. We peered down off the ledge just in time to see them fall into the dumpster they shut Sapphire in. Sapphire and I laughed and ran off to the gym.
Ok, finally finished! Writer's block sucks :P. Please R and R! :D Cookie!