Title: Three Conversations aboard Destiny
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Content Flags: bonking, booze, bad food and bombs. And a threesome.
Spoilers: SGU Season 2
Characters: Lisa Park/ Ronald Greer/ Dale Volker, Dr Inman/ Eli Wallace, Everett Young/ Varro
Word Count: 528
Summary: Three conversations between Destiny crew members.
Author's Notes: Written for a "Dialog Only" challenge at the LJ Comm Stargateland. Booze Run is dedicated to elaiel who writes the hottest Lisa/ Dale/ Ronald fics ever!
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
Thanks for reading! Feedback = Love. ;-)
"Would you go get some of Brody's hooch?"
"I'm in the mood for some hard liquor."
"I went last time. Greer, it's your turn."
"I'm… kinda… being used as a… mattress… right now…"
"Stop moving, Ronald."
"Oh, all right… where are my pants?"
"You don't know?"
"Oh, shush, Lisa. What did you do with them?"
"I don't remember either."
"Just take mine, brother. It's all good."
"Stop moving, Ronald!"
"I can't squeeze my fat butt into your tiny britches!"
"Come on, Dale. You lost quite a bit of weight lately."
"All right… unnnfff… ugh…. Arghh…"
"If you split my pants I'll make you fix them!"
"Stop moving, Ronald!"
"Whew… sheesh… be back in a jiffy. Don't start again without me."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"Stop mo-… oh… oh, that's good."
"Run, brother. Run."
"Hi, Dr. Inman. What are you working on?"
"Oh, hi Eli… I'm trying to counteract the bitterness of purple sweet potatoes with various substances."
"Why? Those things are the spawn of Satan, no matter what."
"But nutritionally they are incredible. High fiber content, loads of vitamins and minerals, not to mention the-"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it, we got nothing else… So, how's that going?"
"Well, it turns out that an essence from the skin of those kiwi-types Greer found back on New Eden complement the tubers well."
"Seriously? Those things are so sour they suck your undies up your butt."
"Okay, I'll hand you that, but throw in a little of the yeast from fermented yellow tomatoes and – voila. Try this."
"Are you serious? You tryin' to kill me here?"
"No, no. Just try it."
"Okay… ummm… hey… wow… It's like… salsa? With peaches? And sprinkles? In vodka?"
"Close enough. Thanks, Eli."
"May I trouble you for a moment?"
"You always trouble me, Varro. What is it now?"
"I want to teach a bomb making class."
"You-… a what?"
"Bomb making class."
"We don't have enough shit blowing up around here?"
"No – I was thinking of what Simeon did to Dr. Park… we should all know what to do in a situation like that."
"Well, Adam Brody is interested doing the wiring and theoretical part, and I can go over defusion techniques… we have a good number of those things left from… from when I got here, so we should use a couple and take them apart and show everybody what to look for."
"So we'll have 83 people on board who know how to blow stuff up using a tomato, a paperclip and a rubber band?"
"Very funny, Colonel. No, the defusion part is what's important. So let's call it a Bomb Management Class."
"All right – sounds good to me. Let Corporal Barnes know so she can schedule a time and place for this."
"Thank you, Colonel. I promise it will be useful for everyone."
"Okay. Thanks for the suggestion. Oh, and… Varro?"
"Thanks for making an effort to join the team. People need to know they can trust you."
"I know. I'm working on it. Have a good day, and thanks for your time."
Thanks for reading! A comment or feedback would be lovely!