Get Away From Me
Author's Note: I don't own Degrassi, or "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. Hope you enjoy.
He was nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready…
Light against metal. There is something beautiful about that flash of light, that flicker of light against the cool blade. There's something beautiful in that one little glint of light. Like a candle that flickers right before the flame goes out.
I watched the knife come closer as Fitz made his way down the hallway. I swallowed the vomit that had found its way to the back of my throat. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. Was it? I glanced towards Clare, and knew she had to leave. She couldn't be here. He wouldn't let there. He wouldn't let her see this.
"You should go," she said, her voice desperate as the knife, and the boy wielding it stepped closer. No, I wasn't the one that needed to go. I had made a mess of everything. She had been right, this whole time she had been right. Why hadn't I just left him alone? Why did I have to antagonize him so much? Because I didn't know. How was I supposed to know he'd bring a fucking knife to the dance? How was I supposed to know that? I was capable of a lot, more than a lot of people realized, but to end another life? That was something I couldn't do.
"And let pretty boy make time with my date?" He called as he stepped closer and closer. Clare had moved between us now, and I knew I had to get her out of there.
"Please, Fitz," she begged, and her voice broke my heart. She needed out of here. This was no place for her, "Don't do this."
"Shut up, Bitch!" He shouted, and Clare stepped back as though she had been slapped. I put a hand on her forearm – wanting to pull her into a hug, wanting to shout at Fitz, wanting to punch him in the fucking face for calling my angel a bitch.
I needed to get her away from this.
"Get away from me," I said, my voice as cold as I could possibly make it. It was difficult because this was Clare. I didn't want to hurt her, but she needed to go. She couldn't see this.
I shoved her away from me, and she backed up against a locker. The tears were streaming down her face, and I could hear our heartbeats echoing in the empty hallway. Could Fitz hear them too? He stepped closer to me, and I forced myself to swallow more of the bile that had crept back up. This wasn't how this was supposed to be. This couldn't be the end. It just couldn't be…
"Look," I said, never imaging that I would ever be pleading for my life, "I'm sorry about before," the fact that I was pleading, begging was embarrassing and sickening to me. I never beg. I never grovel. But this time was different. I had something to live for, and that something was crying behind me, being her stupid self and not leaving when I had asked her to. I wasn't going to let Fitz be the one to end all of that.
"…about everything," I continued my plea, "You win," I told him, determinedly. I wanted it all to be over. I wanted it to end. I would put my pride on the shelf and let him have the spoils. I would do whatever he asked, but I wouldn't let him take my life. I couldn't let him take me away from her.
"Like I haven't heard that before," Fitz scoffed and shoved me. Clare came forward from her hiding place against the lockers. She was crying, and I could tell she desperately wanted to stop this. But she couldn't. We were all in too deep. Why hadn't she just gone away like I had asked her to?
"It's time to be serious," I attempted once more, trying to get him to put the knife down. We were kids. We were fucking kids. We didn't need to stab anyone or kill anyone. There was still so much of life left to live. When Julia had died, I wanted to kill myself. I even tried to end it. But I backed out. I realized that there was too much to look forward to in life. Now here I was, fighting again for my life. Pleading to be allowed the opportunity of more time.
"So am I," he shoved me again, "You've had this coming for awhile." He kept walking towards me, and I kept walking back. I felt trapped. There was nowhere to go but to face this, "What's wrong, Emo Boy?" He asked, and I cringed at the hate in his words. "No smartass comments?"
Cece always told me that mouth of mine would get me in trouble. I guess she was right. Cece…Bullfrog…when was the last time I had told them I loved them? When was the last time I had hugged them?
Fitz had me backed against the lockers. The metal was cold against my head and neck. The knife glinted again, and I could almost feel the coolness of the blade against my skin.
"Please, please don't do this," I didn't even bother to hide the tears. I tried to keep it together, I really did. But my voice shook, and the tears spilled as if faucets in the backs of my eyes had been turned on. I opened my mouth to say more, but no words came.
"Someone's got to shut you up," Fitz thrust the knife. I felt it go into me. I really did. I felt it all come to an end – my life, my relationships…everything. I felt it all end right then and there.
Clare let out a scream and a cry. Was this really it? I glanced up to Fitz with confusion in my eyes. Had he really done it? Was this really it? His eyes held no emotion, no regret, no fear, or sadness. He was stoic, as if stabbing me had been nothing more than a typical daily occurrence for him.
I slipped down to the floor, waiting for the blood to come, waiting for the pain. Fitz grinned this twisted grin, and moved his hand from the wall. The wall? I glanced up to see the knife stuck in the plaster just a few inches away from where I had been standing.
I tried to keep it together, but when I glanced up at that knife, a flood of emotions washed over me. I felt as though I was caught in the undertow of a wave. My head was spinning and my chest heart from how violently my heart was beating. My head sounded as though the blood was rushing through the veins, and my lungs ached for the breath I realized I had been holding.
Clare rushed to me, tears streaming down her cheeks. I felt so bad for her. She shouldn't have been there to see this. She should have just left. Why was she so stupid?
She grabbed hold of me and looked me over to make sure it was really true, to make sure that Fitz hadn't actually stabbed me. I almost couldn't believe it myself. I was still waiting to see my shirt stained crimson.
"Don't worry," Fitz laughed, "You can bleach out urine stains."
I felt utterly defeated. I felt worse than I had while he had been punching me. Suddenly a cop appeared with a flash light at the end of the hallway. They had Fitz in custody in a matter of seconds, but my breathing still wasn't quite back to normal. I had never been, in my whole life, so terrified. You don't know what real fear is until you come face to face with death. That's real, that's genuine fear.
My lip quivered as Fitz turned with his arms raised to meet the cops that had rushed in. He had done it. Fitz had successfully won. I had sworn to Clare that I would never let him win, that I would never show my fear of him. But tonight, he'd gotten what he came for. He had seen the tears in my eyes, he had seen my lip quiver. He had seen me cry.
Clare was gasping for the breath she had been holding as well as she turned to me. She shook her head and parted her lips to say something, but no words seemed important. Fitz had won. Fitz had won. I had cried, and Fitz had won.
"Are you okay, son?" One of the cops approached me, "Are you two okay?"
"Just shook up," Clare met the cops eyes, and I could see the tears on her cheeks.
"Come with us," the cop held out a hand for me to take. I grabbed hold of the hand that was offered, and my legs shook as I tried to stand. Clare caught me just in time before I fell.
"He didn't do anything," Clare protested, "Please."
"We just need to get some answers," the cop explained, "Just a statement. Then you're free to go," the cop said to me as he led my down the hallway. Clare followed closely behind. When we passed by Fitz – just as he was being handcuffed – I swore, that kid smiled at me.
The cops led us outside and to the car, "I don't want to take you to the station," he told me, "Because you really seem like you could use some time with your family and your girl…but I do need a statement."
"Fitz…he…he was angry at me for…for being with Clare. He had been…been riding my ass for the past few…past few weeks. Um…we had a…um…physical fight…but I never…I never imagined…"
"That's alright, son," the officer patted my shoulder, "Why don't you come down to the station tomorrow after you've gotten some rest."
I nodded and Clare placed a hand on my back, "Come on," she said, her voice barely a whisper, "Let's get you home."
"Clare…you shouldn't…you shouldn't have been there. Why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you just listen to me for fucking once?" I wanted to sound angry, but my voice came off as sounding more defeated than angry.
"I wasn't going to leave you, Eli," she stopped and pulled me into a hug, "I will never leave you."
"Promise me, Clare."
"I promise," she held me tighter in her arms, and I didn't even bother to hold in the sobs that came. My shoulders quaked, and I felt my whole body shake and my head go dizzy, "Clare…"
"It's over, Eli. It's all over."
Author's Note: I felt like doing a throwback. Anyways, I watched this scene on youtube and decided to write to it. Hope you enjoyed!