Last Chapter, guys. Thank you for all of your reviews!
Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie.
There are a lot of flash backs and stuff in this chapter. Also, get ready to get sad.
It was warmer out than it usually was this time of year. Months had gone by, and fall was now approaching. I guess you could already consider it fall
though, with it being pretty chilly most of the time. But this day was different. It was warm, like it had been a month or two before now but with the
occasional gust of wind every now and then.
Tavros locked the cafe door behind him. Yes, it was Sunday, and the cafe was usually closed right about now. However, the boss made one of the new
employees or some loser take the time out of their day off almost every Sunday to check up on the place. Tavros happened to be that loser today. He
wasn't sure why the boss made them do this. Whenever someone asked, the question was either ignored or replied with, "Because of reasons." It
never really satisfied anyone, but no one really cared too much.
Tavros started wheeling down the sidewalk, grocery bags in lap, but he stopped by the big, glass window. He looked over at where Gamzee usually sat
every day. Tavros let out a little sigh and stared for a second longer. Then, he carried on his way back to his house.
Gamzee hadn't been coming to the cafe a lot recently. It was like they were drifting apart. And when he did come in, it was like Gamzee was distracted,
like he didn't want to talk. He'd still look every now and then. Even if they were looks of agony or longing, Tavros still was kind of happy that he looked,
even if it just were for a little while. Sometimes Tavros would spot him, hood up and shielding his eyes, not wanting to be recognized, walking down the
sidewalk passed the cafe. He'd stop for a split second and stand as people rushed by him. He'd look into the window for a moment, and then he'd
Tavros had to admit that he missed him. He missed him a lot, from his goofy grin to his messy hair down to his way too big shoes. Sometimes he felt as
if he were doing the staring now, trying to figure out what was going on, what was wrong.
This all started a month back. It was just a normal Tuesday. Nothing big was happening. Nothing was going on. It was the perfect temperature outside,
warm with no wind. The cafe was crowded with couples and teenagers, all wanting the cute, handicapped boy for their waiter, not that weird, sweaty
guy, not that Tavros had anything against Equius. He was just... odd. Anyway, Tavros was super busy that day. People were talking to him back and
forth, and he hadn't really gotten the chance to even say hello to Gamzee yet.
He was making his way over there, stopping to assist a group of young ladies first. He wheeled over to where Gamzee usually sat.
"Oh, uh, sorry. We're really busy today, as you can see. I'm not sure why, but everyone seems to be requesting me as their waiter. I guess I'm doing a
pretty good job, because I've been the busiest person here today!" Tavros explained with a slight laugh at the end.
"I'm sure that's it, Tav," Gamzee replied with a nod. No smile. Tavros looked him over. He was jittery and moving his feet and hands slightly, beating
them against the table or floor. It was like he was waiting for something, like he was ready to leave but something was stopping him.
Something was wrong. There was something going on behind that face paint.
"I think I'm gonna go," Gamzee interrupted.
"Oh, okay... Do you want a to-go box for your leftover pie?"
Tavros watched him get up from his seat and start walking towards the door. Then, he stopped halfway there and turned around. He looked Tavros
dead in the eye and said, "I'm really sorry."
"For what?" Gamzee ignored him and walked the rest of the way out the door. He was gone. That didn't stop Tavros from saying his name one more
time though. "Gamzee?"
And that's where everything got weird. It's where everything messed up, and when Gamzee stopped coming to the cafe regularly.
Tavros fumbled to get his keys from his pockets. He got them and unlocked his door, pushing his way inside. He closed the door and started putting
away groceries in the kitchen, thinking back on Gamzee's words. "I'm really sorry." What did that even mean?
A month or so ago...
Gamzee scrolled back through yesterday's text messages with Karkat. They were having a serious conversation. It was one Gamzee didn't want to
have, but Karkat insisted. Every time he tried to change the subject, Karkat would change it right back.
TC: bUt KaRkAt
CG: NO FUCKING BUTS
CG: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT
CG: SHUT UP
CG: I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE TOLD YOU
CG: AND I'M SERIOUS THIS TIME
CG: YOU NEED TO STOP FLIRTING AND BEING A TOTAL PRICK AROUND THIS GUY
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT
CG: JUST STOP SEEING THIS GUY ALL TOGETHER
TC: hOw CaN yOu SaY tHaT mAn :o(
CG: YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHY YOU CAN'T BE TOGETHER WITH HIM
CG: WHAT IF YOU FLIP THE FUCK OUT WHILE HE'S AROUND?
CG: HE CAN'T HOLD YOU DOWN AND FORCE FEED YOU LIKE I CAN
CG: YOU'LL END UP HURTING THE GUY
CG: PROBABLY DECAPITATE HIS HEAD TO MATCH HIS LEGS
TC: I cOuLdNt HuRt ThE mOtHeRfUcKeR iF i TrIeD
TC: hEs ToO cUtE :o)
CG: "COULDNT HURT A MOTHERFUCKER IF I TRIED"
CG: ISNT THAT WHAT YOU SAID TO ME
CG: "DONT WORRY KARBRO YOU WONT END UP ALMOST GETTING YOUR EYE STABBED OUT WITH A CAR KEY"
CG: "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT"
CG: BUT ISNT THAT EXACTLY WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED
CG: I HAD TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING KEY
CG: GOD DAMN IT GAMZEE
CG: YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO HURT HIM, FOR THE LAST TIME
CG: YOU KNOW I'M ONLY SAYING THIS BECAUSE I'M CONCERNED
TC: yEaH :o)
CG: AND STOP WITH THE FUCKING ":o)"
CG: I GET IT YOU'RE A FUCKING CLOWN
Gamzee sighed and put his phone into his pocket. He looked down at the counter the two medicine bottles were. He picked one up and stared at it for
a minute. Karkat was probably right. What if something happened? What if he forgot to take his medicine again? What if Tavros walked in on him like
that? What if he hurt Tavros? He wouldn't be able to keep control of him. He couldn't force him to the ground or against the wall. All he could do is
watch and get hurt. And that was very awful to think about. It was terrible. It was possible. It was more than that. It was likely to happen.
Gamzee clenched the pill bottle tightly. His face was slowly getting angrier by the second. Tears were forming in his eyes. Karkat was right. It would
probably be better if he forgot about Tav-
"MOTHERFUCK!" He threw the pill bottle at the wall, its already loose cap coming off, all of the pills inside spilling out and bouncing off the floor, rolling
now. Tears were streaming down his face.
After Tavros was done putting the groceries up, he wheeled into his living room. He looked at his phone. There weren't any text messages. By this time
Gamzee would usually send him one or two to tell him something Karkat said or something he was doing, which half the time was baking a pie or going
on a walk.
Tavros sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. He glanced at his bookshelf, which was stocked with books that had already been read. He then
realized that he hadn't gone to the library yet, something he wanted to do on this day off. He glanced at his digital watch. It was only 3:48. He still had
time. So, he grabbed his sweater, in case it got chilly while he was inside, and opened his door. He locked it behind him and wheeled down the ramp.
Hours and hours passed. He read and read books, mostly fairy-tales, with the rare cookbook here and there. He got so caught up in it all that when he
looked down at his watch, it was almost 7:00. He picked out his three favorites and checked them out, not wanting to go home but feeling he had to.
The streets were a little dangerous at night. And he owed it to Gamzee to stay safe.
As he was wheeling home, he couldn't stop himself from taking the long way home. He took the route he and Gamzee had found one night that looped
around both of their neighborhoods in 'U', with Gamzee's house being the first to come upon. So basically he was taking this way home in order to see
Gamzee... or see the window of his apartment, at least. Maybe he would pay him a visit. He didn't want to bother him though, to be a burden. Gamzee
acted like he didn't really want to talk to Tavros anymore. It was like it was painful to even be around him. Tavros figured it wouldn't hurt. He had to
see Gamzee, for whatever reason. There was this sinking feeling in his gut that told him to go see him. Maybe this emotion was worry?
A lady in the lobby helped him up the stairs. He thanked her a lot (maybe so much it was annoying) and was now wheeling down the hallway to
Gamzee's apartment number. He stared at the door for a while, wondering if he should go in or not. But not wanting the lady to have wasted her
breath on him, he decided he had no choice. He took a deep breath and knocked lightly. He hoped Gamzee could even hear that.
Oh, yeah. He heard it alright.
And Tavros was hearing the loud stomps of Gamzee walking to the door. It almost sounded like he was running. He swung open the door, it hitting the
wall with a bang. There stood Gamzee. His hair was messier than usual. His make-up was off, cuts and bruises on his face instead. Out of the corner of
his eye Tavros could see that Gamzee room was completely trashed. Papers were everywhere. The counter had a huge chunk torn off of it. His
mattress was flipped over, his blanket on the floor 5 foot away from it. Broken glasses were on top of pills that were scattered everywhere. The
refrigerator door was open, no food in it. Tavros looked up at the face at stared down at him. This was terrifying. This was Gamzee? No. This wasn't
Gamzee. This was a monster.
"Hello, Tavvy. I've been waiting for you for so long," he greeted in his deep voice, his two hands gripping the sides of his jaw, a sickening smile spread
across his face.
"Gamzee. Are you o-"
Before he could finish his sentence, Gamzee ran around his wheelchair and pushed him into the apartment, closing the door behind them. He leaned on
the door, facing Tavros, smiling still.
"I'm perfectly fine, motherfucker." Tavros's eyes widened as Gamzee stepped off of the door and walked over to him. He placed his hands on the two
armrests and leaned in, the smile never leaving his face. "In matter of fact, I've never felt motherfucking better." His nails dug into the leather padding,
breaking the surface. Tavros noticed how his lips had smudges of red on it, like he had been biting his lip so hard that it bled.
"You didn't take your medicine..."
"Why the hell should I have to take that? Who do I have to keep calm for anymore? I never go anywhere anymore, Tavros. I never leave this
apartment. I sit here all day. I sit here and rot, thinking of you, thinking of people I can't have."
"Do you know what you mean to me? How much I've missed you? How much I want you?"
He leaned in more, his smile fading and a serious look on his face. "But no one can have you. No one. Especially not me." He threw his hands above his
head in a 'V'. "I'm a fucking monster!"
He slammed his hands back onto the armrests, gripping them tightly. "And if I can't have you, motherfucker..."
He leaned in to where their noses were touching.
"No one motherfucking can."
Tavros gulped, shivers running up and down his spine. Terror flashed through his eyes. He closed his eyes and gripped his shorts, shouting,
"But you can have me, Gamzee!"
The silence lasted for too long. It was like the world stopped for a full minute. No one moved.
Tavros opened his eyes to see Gamzee there, staring at him. His eyes seemed to have changed a little bit. There wasn't so much crazy in them now.
There was something else. It was like... pain? Heart-ache? Bewilderment?
Gamzee's pupils got a little smaller, and he started smiling again. It was like he wasn't looking at Tavros. He looked as if he were looking right passed
him into some imaginary land.
"STOP RIGHT NOW."
Tears were streaming down Tavros's cheeks.
He tilted his head and leaned in, causing the little space between the two vanish. He wrapped his arms around Gamzee's neck tightly, kissing him hard,
tears still streaming, and his eyes closed. Gamzee's eyes were wide in shock, his arms resting at his sides now.
Tavros stopped kissing him and rested his head on his shoulder, hugging him harder. He managed to squeak out a little, "I love you."
There was a very long silence after that. It was basically just a long moment of Tavros crying on Gamzee's shoulder and hugging him.
Finally, Gamzee lifted his arms and placed them around Tavros, hugging him lightly but then tighter. There was a mix between silence and hushed
whispers of Gamzee's, "I'm so sorry, Tavros. I'm so fucking sorry. I would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I love you too. I love you so much. So
After a moment, Gamzee pulled away and tilted Tavros's chin up. He kissed him. Tongues glided; hands explored; teeth clacked; moans escaped
"You have no idea how long I've waited for the moment I could do that," Gamzee said when he pulled away and gripped Tavros's shoulders. He pulled
Tavros into a hug, their heads resting on each other shoulders, Gamzee not noticing the back pain he was getting from slouching over like this.
"I love you, man."
"I love you too, Gamzee."
After a while like this, Tavros said, "Come on. Let's get your room cleaned up, get you some medicine, and then we can go get some ice cream or