A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for reading this! After you're done leave me a review and tell me what you think! InvisibleBlade inspired me to write this story, and then gave me some ideas on what to write. So, a big thanks to her! You should definitely check out her stories if you like mine! (And I really don't know what to say about the title... I couldnt think of one so i used a title generator and thats the best one I found.) Anyway, on with the story!

*VWORP VWORP* The sound of the TARDIS reverberated throughout the walls of Stormcage. When would he learn to turn the brakes off?

River looked up from her diary, where she'd been writing about her latest adventure with the Doctor. She knew that sound could only mean one thing. He's back! She thought excitedly. She loves the adventures they go on together, even if they do usually end with near death experiences. She looked over at the bars of her cell, to see the Doctor standing there, dressed in a suit, Sonic in hand. He aimed his sonic screwdriver at the bars of the cell. River got up, and followed the Doctor to the TARDIS.

"Hello, Sweetie," She said to him, as he embraced her for a kiss. "Where to this time?"

"Well," He said, "Since its your birthday, I thought we would go out to a nice party."

"But what should I wear? I certainly can't wear this," She said, motioning towards the sweats she was wearing while she had been relaxing in her cell.

"Don't worry! I've got it all figured out. You can wear this," He said, and stepped aside to reveal one of the most beautiful dresses River Song had ever seen. It was covered in sparkles and the deepest blue she had ever seen. It was the exact color of the TARDIS, It had a low cut neck, and the ruffled bottom of the dress fell just above her knee.

"Its gorgeous," She stared at it, awestruck.

"Well, It's the perfect dress for the perfect woman." The Doctor replied and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Okay! You should go get ready, and I'll set the coordinates for the party. Its supposed to be one of the biggest parties in the galaxy!"

River ran off to go get ready, and the Doctor bounded over to the console. "Okay, old girl," He whispered to the TARDIS, "Let's get us to the right one." The TARDIS hummed with understanding, and flung them into the Time Vortex once more, on the way to the largest party in the galaxy.

They landed in the midst of the party and stepped off the ship; River in her gorgeous dress and elegant heels, and the Doctor in his suit and tie, but now with a top hat upon his head. "What is it with you an your hats?" River questioned the him.

"They're cool," He replied matter-of-factly.

"Whatever," River rolled her eyes, and linked her arm with the Doctor to enter the celebration.

They stepped on to the dance floor and began to dance to particularly upbeat song. They danced for a while, until they both grew tired, and scurried off to find some refreshments.

"River!" The Doctor called. "Look at this one." He held up a bottle filled with deep blue liquid, with a label that said 'made specifically for women'. Whatever that meant. The Doctor thought it looked particularly refreshing, so he brought it over to her, along with a plate of delicious looking food for both of them. The Doctor picked up a bottle of cherry soda for himself to drink on the way back to find the table River had saved for them.

River looked at the tray that the Doctor had brought over for them to share, filled with pastries and such. "Oh, Doctor," She muttered to herself. Would he never learn that you can't eat nothing but Jammie Dodgers and other junk like that? He sat down at the table and handed River a JAmmie Dodger. She ate it, and then picked up the Cherry Soda and opened the top to drink it.

"No!" The Doctor exclaimed. "That's mine! This one's for you," He handed her the blue drink.

"What exactly is it?" She asked.

"I'm not sure, actually, but it says its just for women, and it looks refreshing. That's why I got it for you. That, and I didn't know what sort of soda you wanted. " The Doctor said, popping a Jammie Dodger in his mouth, and smiling with content.

"Oh, Doctor I would have drank anything you gave me, but this does look... interesting..." She opened the lid and took a deep gulp. "Tasty," She said wiping her mouth and looking back up at the Doctor. At that moment, she got an odd sensation in her stomach. "Oh, God." She said, and darted toward the bathroom. She just barely made it in a stall before she started vomiting. Ugh, She thought. What made her do that? Maybe it was something I ate. She thought, but then she remembered that she hadn't eaten anything besides the Jammie Dodger, but the Doctor had eaten them too. Maybe it was that drink. But why would a drink that tasty make her vomit? She had no idea. She rinsed her mouth with water and wiped off her face with a paper towel. She exited the bathroom and went to find the Doctor, right where she left him.

"Are you alright River?" He asked, worried.

"Oh, I'm fine dear. But what exactly is this party for, Doctor?"

"Well, its called 'la celebraciĆ³n de una nueva vida', which means 'celebration of new life'. Its basically a big party celebrating birth. I figured it would be appropriate since it was your birthday and all."

"Oh, okay that makes sense. But that drink you gave me, you said it was made just for women. What was it then?" She thought maybe he knew what it was and just wanst telling her, but judging by the confused look on his face, he didnt know either.

"Well, I don't actually know. How about you ask the lady haning it out? I'm sure she knows, seeing as she runs the stand," He replied. They went off to the table where the bottles were.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" River asked. "But what exactly is this beverage?"

"Oh, this?" The woman replied. "Its the latest in medicinal advances. Its made just for women, specifically those looking to concieve. You just take a sip of it, and you become pregnant with the first man you lay eyes on. They're perfect for this celebration! Would you like to try some?"

"N-no thanks," River answered shakily. Oh my Doctor brought me to an alien planet and unknowingly impregnated me! I'm going to kill him! She thought. She walked back over to the table where they had been sitting.

"So what was it?" The Doctor asked.

"Well, according to that woman its the 'latest in medicinal advances' and-"

"Oh, River, I'm so sorry this is all my fault that you're sick! If I had known what it was I would have never given it to you! I'm so, so sorry! Can you ever-Wait. What sort of 'medicinal advances'?" He looked a bit worried.

"Well, it means that after one sip, when I looked up at you I instantly became pregnant with your baby. Now how's that for refreshing?" She looke up, and saw that the Doctor had fainted. He sat up abrubtly and turned back towards her.

"So-so-so you're, you're having my baby? River! We're going to be parents!" He shouted with glee. He turned ghostly white. "But River, what are we going to tell your parents?"

"Shit," She muttered under her breath. "Well, I don't know. Seeing as this is your fault, I think you should be the one to tell them. Especially dad," She said with a smirk.

"Oh, no, no no no. They're your parents!" He said.

"Yes, but they're your best friends." She shot back.

"You're the one who's having it!" The Doctor tried.

"Yes, but its completly and utterly your fault!" She shouted and burst into tears. "It all your fault! You had to bring me to this stupid party and give me that goddamn drink! Why couldn't you just bring me to a nice dinner or something normal? Instead of bringing me to a big party and getting me pregnant!I can't believe you!" She shouted, pounding on his chest. "You're fault, its all you're fault! My parents are going to kill us!" She sobbed uncontrollably.

"Shhh. Shhhh, its all right, Sweetie. We'll think of something, don't worry," He whispered into her hair and picked her up and carried her back to the TARDIS. He set her down on his bed and gave her a light kiss on her forehead as he went to think of something.

Thanks for reading! Leave a review, tell me what you think! DFTBA!