So, I was going through my DVD's the other day and found the Instant Star seasons, and decided to have a little viewing marathon, basking in the nostalgia of my long lost love for the show. While I was watching, I got to thinking about all of the writing I used to do, most of which sat unfinished on my computer. I started reading through the unfinished fanfics and I found this one. I'd written a few chapters and I think I even posted some of them on another site. Anyways, it sparked my interest and I reread the chapters, deciding to make some edits and post it up, just to see where it goes. If it seems like there is any interest in IS anymore, I'll keep posting. I miss writing these things! Its a nice change from work/school.

Obviously I don't own Instant Star or any of the characters associated with it. This story and the song lyrics contained in it are another story. They are my own creation, and I hope you like it! As a side note, I'm sure that you will quickly come to realize that my writing style tends to lead to lots of short chapters rather than long ones. When I started writing, I thought short chapters were more manageable, allowing me to update more often. They may get longer at she fic goes on, we'll see.


The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

I wonder in this moment how much of it was really a lie. It couldn't have been a sham from the beginning, could it? I thought I knew everything about him. What he was thinking about when he was all alone, the songs he sang along to, the way his eyes darkened when he was hurt. I did know everything about him. How then is it that I know absolutely nothing about the person he is?

Jude sat on the couch in her empty home, staring blankly at the white wall in front of her. She caught sight of the wedding picture hanging in a delicate silver frame. Was he lying, even then? Was the truth in the back of his mind as he stood in front of me, pledging his life and love to me alone? She counted back the months carefully, hoping that she could somehow fit an eleven month old baby into a six month marriage. As expected, she just succeeded in making the truth painfully obvious to herself. Not only was her entire marriage a lie, but the engagement, and for that matter, over half of the time that they had been dating. He'd been carrying around a secret that changed everything.

A moment later, the contents of the folder that had been sitting in her lap were spread across the floor and an expensive crystal figurine was flying through the air, heading directly toward the silver framed picture on the wall. The figurine collided with the photograph, emitting an earth shattering crash, the remains of which fell to the ground in a shower of crystal rain. Jude stood perfectly still, looking at it bitterly. It was a present from my lying husband. She bent down, gathering up the papers that had scattered on the floor, sliding them gently back into the folder. Grabbing her keys, she stomped toward the door, slamming it behind her. She left the broken crystal on the floor and headed for the studio.

As she drove, Jude's mind was cycling through the last six days. She couldn't think of it in terms of the six days it had been since she turned twenty-one. Instead she thought back on the six days it had been since she had found out her husband was a leading a double life. Six days since her entire world had burst into flames.

Jude found the picture on her birthday. What a wonderful birthday gift. Jude thought cynically. It had been buried deep in the breast pocket of his favorite black suit. Jude had been rushing around, gathering up the laundry to be sent out for dry cleaning when she found it. To a stranger, there was nothing unusually spectacular about the picture; just a young family smiling nervously for the camera. It was the kind of family picture that you sent out with your Christmas cards, but Jude's heart stopped when she saw it. Smiling back at her was her very own husband, his arms wrapped around a thin woman who in turn had her arms wrapped around a baby. Jude read the words printed across the bottom of the picture.

Happy Holidays from the Andrews Family!

An hour later Jude found herself knocking on the door of a private investigator. She had driven across town, parking in what seemed like a slightly shady area before struggling to find a poorly marked group of offices on the ground floor of an old residential building. Inside there was a dimly lit and narrow hallway. The third door on the left had a frosted glass window, the black lettering on the glass denoting that it was the office of Detective Charles Avery. He was known for his good results, and his discretion. Jude stood uncomfortably, shifting her weight as she waited for the door to open. When it did, it revealed a slightly overweight middle aged man. He extended his hand cordially, looking Jude up and down as he did so. She was dressed simply, in straight legged jeans and a white top. Her dark sunglasses were her only defense against recognition.

"Mrs. Andrews I presume." The detective said quietly, ushering her into the office before closing the door firmly behind her. Jude visibly winced at the use of her last name and couldn't help but think about the woman in the picture. Do strangers call her Mrs. Andrews as well? Swallowing the bitter taste that was rising in her throat, Jude willed herself to stay calm and hold it together. Glancing up at the detective, she couldn't bring herself to even fake a polite smile.

"Jude is fine." She said, hoping silently that he would never call her by her last name again. The detective nodded, making a mental note. He pointed toward a comfortable looking chair facing his desk and Jude sat down. He walked around the desk, sitting down himself and pulling out a small pad of paper.

"Very well, Jude, I'm Detective Avery. You seemed a little worked up on the phone, what can I do for you?" He leaned back in his chair as she pulled out a folder of papers. Handing it to him, she took a deep breath.

"I need you to find out everything you can about my husband's connection with this woman." Jude held up the picture she had found in Jamie's suit. The detective nodded, taking the picture and the folder containing all of the pertinent information that Avery would need on Jamie. "I have absolutely no information about the woman, but I'm hoping that you can find out who she is."

"I'll be in touch with you by the end of the week. Hopefully we will have found something by then." The detective said. He turned away from Jude, shaking the mouse of his computer and silently signaling that the meeting was over. There wasn't anything else to say at this point, and he was itching to start his hunt, a feeling he got every time he got a new case. Jude stood up quietly, suddenly terrified of what Detective Avery might find. Suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Jude shivered, shaking her head as she tried to physically dislodge the thoughts from her mind. The detective had kept his word, because here she was, six days later, in possession of the file containing everything she had never wanted to know about her beloved husband. It was a thick file, apparently the detective didn't have much trouble tracking down the information she needed. When he had slid it across the desk, she thought it must be a mistake. How could a complete stranger dig up that much unknown information on the man she was married to?

She pulled into the parking lot of the studio, shifting the car into park but leaving it running. She leaned back into the seat, hoping to clear her mind and pull herself together enough to make it through the next few hours. It was moments like this, when she was alone and it was quiet that her mind drifted to Tommy. It had been two and a half years since the last time she had seen him, and in that time, she had tried not the think of him. She had locked him deep within her heart, doing her best to keep the emotions buried deep down. I made my choice, for better or for worse, I don't have the right to miss him now.

Still, she found herself sharing certain moments with his memory. Things that she felt should have been his to share with her. The night she won her first Grammy, tearing up as she gave her acceptance speech, knowing the person she really needed to thank wasn't there. He was there in her heart the day she finished her fourth album, an album filled with heart wrenching songs of love and loss, all about him. And now, he was there again, the day she realized she had made the wrong choice on that fateful day two and a half years ago. I wish you were here to hold me, tell me things will be alright. She thought silently as she blinked back the tears in her eyes. She picked up her cell phone and scrolled silently through the contacts.

She stopped scrolling when she reached Tommy's name, staring at the picture and considering momentarily the thought of calling him up after all of this time. She laughed humorlessly at herself, knowing that the number saved in her phone would not connect her to Tommy. It had long since been disconnected. I wouldn't even know where to find you. Jude thought sadly. Quickly, she dialed another number, lifting it to her ear as it connected.

"Detective Avery, this is Jude. Thank you for all the hard work you've done for me so far. I have another job. I need you to find out everything you can about the whereabouts of Thomas Quincy"