A/N: Hello! This came to mind, and I had to write it down! XD Alphonse will be in every chapter :D
Thanks/Dedication: Thank you, Indigo Oblivion, for reviewing a previous fic, and for forming the idea in the first place 8D You are awesome!
Warnings: Cracky, random, weird, OOCness?, swearing here and there… that's about it I think.
Disclaimer: I don't own the amazingness D:
Ed sighed. He was quite concerned about Winry; however, the problem would be confronting her. Recently, he had been having suspicions about her inhaling too much automail cleaner. Consequently, this meant he went under cover, and observed Winry in her natural habitat; her automail workshop back in Resembool.
His only chance of doing so would be to continually have her perform maintenance checks on his automail. Of course, he had luck on his side; he managed to break his leg every other day. Ok, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration. But definitely weekly!
Anyway, after several weeks, he finally caught her in the act; she was sniffing that automail cleaner a few seconds too long, and with too much enthusiasm for his liking. Ed also couldn't help but notice how much it screwed with her emotions. She was bipolar enough as it was, but when she was high? Oh, it was so much worse! His poor brain couldn't keep up with those mood swings!
It was then and there that he'd decided he needed to get her some help. Ed let a half smile form on his face. Alphonse should be able to help her out, no problem!
Winry was working on some automail, as per usual, but Ed decided enough was enough, and stormed into the shop dramatically. "Winry," he started out, pinning her down with his stare, "there's something I need to talk to you about."
She paused a moment, then continued tinkering with the piece on the table. "Hm? What is it Ed?"
Ed frowned, unsatisfied with her divided attention, but it'd have to do for now. "I… well, er, um…" he cut his stammering off, and tried again, "I'll just say it. You have a problem, and you need to get some-"
Winry automatically launched her wrench at his forehead by the time he said the word "problem", but of course, it took too long to cut him off. He thinks I have a problem?
"Ow!" Ed grunted. "What the hell was that for?"
Grabbing another wrench while turning around to face him, Winry glared fiercely at Ed. "I do NOT have issues Edward! How dare you say that!" Her hand subconsciously held the wrench tighter, turning her knuckles white.
He gulped. "You know Winry, this would be easier if you could just put that wrench down…" he tried to reason with her nervously, but it didn't seem to work. Neither the wrench nor the glare went away. "Winry… please put it down. I'm just worried about you."
At that statement, she raised an eyebrow. "Worried about me? Interesting." Winry's eyes cooled down, as did her voice when she added, "what is it that you think my so called problem is, Edward? Hm?"
He swallowed the lump in his throat. "W-well, you see, it's just that, lately… I have reason to suspect that you're getting high off of that automail cleaner of yours and you really need to get some counseli-"
Again, he was cut off by her wrench. Fortunately for him, she did not pick up another one.
"Would you stop that?" Ed yelled, while rubbing both wrench spots. "I'm sure Al could help you!" He double-checked that she was unarmed. "Really! Please go?"
Winry simply armed herself with the deadliest glare she could muster. "No. Nothing you do or say will make me go, Edward."
"Go to the counseling, Winry. Ed's actually right this time."
Winry's eyes widened. "Wh-what? Are you serious granny?" Ed's right? I need counseling? WHAT? What has the world come to?
Pinako nodded firmly. "Yes, you need help." Her tone left no room for argument.
"But granny!" Winry started to protest. She sighed. "Fine. I'll go…"
Ed was lost in his own little (little!) happy world, shocked at being called out for being right. Granny and Winry always sided with each other. He was so shocked, that he didn't snap back to reality until Winry accidentally-on-purpose bumped into him on her way out of the room. "Thanks a lot Edward… really. Thanks a lot."
He shivered involuntarily. He sure hoped Al could get her back to normal.
"Ah, Winry! What a surprise to see you here!" Al exclaimed. He didn't think that she would be his first real patient, though he knew she'd be here eventually. He was just relieved it was before she gave brother a serious head injury, like a concussion. Or a tumor.
"Hey Al," she sighed resignedly. "I was forced to come here by granny and Ed."
"What? Both of them?" Al questioned, shocked.
"I know, I'm surprised too… they never team up…" Winry smiled sadly, just thinking about it.
After a few moments, Alphonse cleared his throat. "Anyway, let's see here… you are here because…" he squinted his eyes and concentrated really intensely on the paperwork. "I can't even read this. Who wrote this?"
"Oh, so that's why. I've never been able to decipher his handwriting," he grumbled while filing the paper away. "So, why are you here Winry?"
Winry fidgeted in her seat, and mumbled something.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you say it a little louder?" Al asked patiently.
She twitched, but complied. "Ed thinks I'm getting high off of automail cleaner. I don't know what he is talking about."
Alphonse raised his eyebrow, but said nothing. Denial. Definitely denial.
"I'm not, I swear! There's no reason for me to!" Winry shouted, desperate for Al to believe her.
Al sighed. "Winry… what this is, is a classic case of denial. You need to face your demons. What is it you're trying to drown out? What is it that you want to block out?"
Winry's eyes widened. "How…?" It's as if he can see through me…
Al smiled gently. "I'm a counselor; I know these things. Now, please, tell me what it is you want to block out."
Winry's cheeks flushed red, probably due to embarrassment. "Well… to tell you the truth… I have a pattern," she paused to look at Al. He nodded, so she continued, "You see, every time Edward breaks his automail, it really worries me. I guess it just really frustrates me, seeing all that hard work just… ruined like that." She shifted into a more comfortable position. "I guess I noticed lately that I've been feeling this urge to just THROW WRENCHES AT HIS HEAD UNTIL I RUN OUT OF WRENCHES TO THROW!"
Al jumped slightly at the outburst. Obviously, this was something she was keeping inside for a very long time. He rubbed his temples. "And you feel bad about this… urge to beat up brother, which is why you've turned to inhaling chemicals?"
Winry averted her gaze. "Something like that," she mumbled.
Al sighed. "Look, Winry, here's what you have to do: find another outlet for your anger. You must wean yourself off the wrenches if that's what it takes." At her frightened expression, he added, "but that's the last resort! Only if nothing else works!"
"Then what should I do? I can't just give up wrenches, I need them for my beautiful automail works of art!" Winry asked, close to tears.
Al waved his hands in front of him frantically. "Please, don't cry Winry!" He bravely put a hand on her shoulder. "See, what you need to do is keep the cleaner restricted to one room. One room, where they will not be tampered with, and won't be misused: brother's room."
Winry rolled her eyes. "Then it won't even be used at all..."
"After relocating the cleaner, distract yourself! This is the part where you have plenty of options. You could… paint, go on walks, help neighbors out during harvesting season, cook for granny as she's always done for us, anything like that."
Winry glanced briefly at him. "How about talking to you and Ed? Would that count?"
"Sure it would! You know we wouldn't mind that at all!" Al grinned reassuringly.
"But…" Winry began, "what if Edward makes me angry? Then what should I do? If I can't use my wrenches, what does that leave me? My fists?"
"Um… that's still painful for brother. Anything else?"
"Well… my legs are good at kicking!"
"… That's not what I meant…" he replied tiredly, glancing at his watch. "Oh, look, an hour has passed, guess our time is up!"
"But it's only been fifteen minu-"
"It was a nice hour-long chat Winry, but I'm afraid I shall release you back home now. Don't forget to schedule another appointment next week and let me know how you're progressing!"
"We could keep talking for forty-five mo-"
Al eagerly grabbed Winry's hand and led her to the door. "Bye now!"
Winry blinked. What's wrong with him?
Ed was waiting outside the building. "So, how'd it go?"
Winry semi-glared in response. "It was weird. Al said our hour was up, but it was only fifteen minutes long. I wonder what's up with that?"
Ed merely shrugged. "Who knows. Did he help you at least?"
Winry nodded. "A little, actually. He told me to distract myself from my problems." She smiled mischievously at him. "I have the perfect distraction in mind." I'm going to get you help with your milk and height complex issues, even if it's the last thing I do!
Edward did not like the sound of this one bit.
A/N: Tada! This is the first (and testing-the-waters) chapter :D Next will probably be Edward, but I might put him off and do someone else first. Mustang anyone? XD
Peace and love!