I promise I wont write anything dramatic in this story again! T-T It totally messed me up! As you can see I totally had to "find the inspiration" again (thank you Iron Man 3 and endless Marvel Movie funny interviews!... and Adam Lambert's "For your Entertainment" I don't know why but that song worked for this comedy story).
I really need to thank Thepersonwithnolife for PM'ing me to get back on this story at the time they did, otherwise I'd be writing "Darker Disney" instead (which I still plan to do, but now it'll have to learn to share!)!
Pop! A rubber Nerf dart smacked Tony in the forehead.
"That's it!" Tony cried, getting up quickly to chase a laughing twelve year old.
Outside the room Fury stood talking to Thor.
"Why is it whenever something goes wrong with him, I'm on the otherside of a window talking to you about it?" Fury asked annoyed. Thor merely shrugged sheepishly, continuing to watch his little brother, now quite literally little, get chased by a geniues playboy philanthropist.
"So how long do you think this will last?" Fury asked.
"I cannot say, he was a woman for maybe a day? And then a cat for a whole day. The weird orb thing lasted a week... oh no!" Thor began to run out of the room.
"Where do you think your going?"
"It's Volstaggs week!" Thor called as he ran out the door in a hurry.
Volstagg walked slowly down the dungeon steps, nibbling on a leg of mutton. He absolutely hated watching Loki. It was boring and slightly awkward, and the food wasn't even that good.
Loki must have thought so as well because Volstagg was currently staring at an empty cell.
"Loki!" Volstagg thundered, stomping up the stairs waving his mutton like a club.
"Heimdall!" Thor cried, shouting at the sky as soon as he reached the landingstrip on the hellicarrier, "Heimdall open the bridge!"
"This... cannot end well." Thor muttered before continuing to shout at the sky like a mad man.
"Allfather!" Volstagg cried, entering the throne room. Odin stood up, ignoring the people trying to talk to him.
"What is it? Why are you not watching over Loki?" Odin asked aprehensively.
"Because he is not there to begin with."
Frigga sighed from her standing place near her husbands throne, "How are you so surprised? You honestly didn't expect him to try and escape? How many attempts a week is there reported? Nine? He was bound to succeed sometime."
Odin cast her a dark glance and turned back to Volstagg.
"Gather the other warriors and prepare my horse. We will bring him back in irons!"
"He'll magic himself out of them!" Frigga called as Volstagg and Odin stomped out of the room, but it appeared no one had heard her which caused Frigga to groan in annoyance and march towards another section of the castle.
'One hopefully free of idiots.' She thought to herself as the idea of a pleasing walk popped into her mind.
"Heimdall!" Odin thundered.
"Where are my sons?"
"On Midgard milord, but I really-"
"Take us there now!" Odin cried, "We intend to bring the boys back in irons!"
"Now Heimdall! I have enough power to get us back but it's faster if you send us there first."
Heimdall sighed, realising the old king was not going to be listening anytime soon. He took a deep breath and concentrated before a flash of light and the Asgardians were standing on the balconey of an enourmous tower in a bustling city.
"Warriors!" Odin commanded, "Let's go." Odin concentrated and after a few seconds, we was flying at the large fort in the sky.
"So Loki," Natasha asked as the twelve year old ate a bowl of soup, "Where are you from?"
Bruce was currently sitting across from them with a pad of paper and a pen in his hands.
"How old are you?"
"Twelve-I told you that already."
"Do you have any siblings?"
"Yeah, a brother. He's fourteen." Loki said and Thor sighed derpressed from the doorway behind them.
"What about the rest of your family?"
"I have a dad and a mom. They're the rulers of Asgard, so I'm a prince. Which means I command more soup!" Loki said, lifting the empty bowl to Natasha's face.
Natasha forgot herself for a moment and nearly slammed the bowl back on Loki's head, but she saw Thor in the door in time to remember this kid could possibly make her life a living hell.
So instead she smiled sweetly and refilled the little snot-nosed toerag's soup bowl. He smiled sweetly and thanked her before diving head first into the dish. It was almost cute.
Thor watched from afar as Bruce scribbled notes down on his pad of paper and Natasha distracted Loki from noticing the notes were probably about him.
His brother did not recognise him, when he had woken up he'd demanded to know where he was and who the person holding him was. Bruce had immeadiatly let go but when Thor had taken his place in holding the boy close Loki had merely begun to fight him as well. Saying it was a crime to lay a hand on a Prince of Asgard. Thor had promptly drawn himself up to his full height, puffed out his chest arrogantly, and proclaimed he himself was a Prince of Asgard.
The snort of laughter coming from the tween had not been what Thor had expected at all.
Now Loki sat at the table, eating soup and antagonizing the russian Master Assassin, something only few ever attempted and almost no one got away with. Loki seemed to be the only exception.
"Well, you should know there's no lasting damage from the fall," Bruce reported as he stood up from the table, "Loki should be back to normal just like all the other times if my hypothesis is correct, and," He checked his phone as it buzzed, "The votes been decided: Most everyone hopes he turns back into a woman." Then he walked seriously out of the room as Loki stared after, confused, and Natasha rolled her eyes, annoyed. Thor paused to wonder for a moment where that leash had gone.
"Now Loki," Natasha smiled plastically, trying to start a normal conversation with the Asgradian, "What's the last thing you remember before waking up in the park?"
"That large garden?" Loki asked, "Well... I remember I'd just turned Thor's hair pink while he was talking to some of Sif's other friends. They were laughing so loudly I almost didn't hear Thor's battle cry as he charged. I think I got away though because I'm here." Loki shrugged, "I'd like to go back if you don't mind, I'm thinking his hair should be chartruce next."
Natasha smiled, "Well Loki, I don't really know how to explain this properly but-"
Suddenenlly a loud crash that sounded like thunder and lightning hitting a brick wall at full speed and a cat had been thrown in there somewhere sounded outside. Red lights and alarms started flashing and men were shouting to eachother as they ran to meet the threat. Thor immeadiatly joined them, worried about what he was about to find.
"Spread out," Odin ordered, "Find both my sons and present them to me."
The Warriors spread out, crawling along the deck like cats until the first wave of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers appeared and then they fought like mad, blood-crazed warriors. Taking their victory like gluttons they marched to the top of the body-count pile and roared ferraly.
Then Thor smashed into Volstagg, knocking him to the metal deck and slidding twenty feet into a jet. The rest of the warriors watched in amused surprise before dogpiling the prince and dragging him to Odin's feet.
"What in Niffelheim's name where you thinking Thor?" Odin blustered, "Loki was locked up for a reason! It is because of you he faces his years in that cell and now I find you abusing that request by taking him here!"
"Father I brought him with me so that I could guard him. He never left my sight!" Thor argued.
"And why did you not return him when your week was over?" Odin questioned.
"Well..." Thor's confidence faltered here and he began to stumble through his words, "Heimdall was not opening the gate. And then Loki broke his magic and-"
"Loki broke his magic?" Fandrall asked.
"Yes well, we were trying to gain entrance to Stark's tower and he wasn't opening the door so Loki... made him with his magic. But ever since it's been transforming him into different things and taking hold without his permission and things like that."
"Where is he right now?" Odin asked quietly.
"Father!" A voice cracked from the door. All the warriors turned to see a twelve year old boy with black hair running across the deck towards them.
He certaintly looked like Loki, apart from his mdigardian garb and the unkept hair, but he was smiling alot more than any of the warriors seemed to remember. Loki ran right up to Odin and threw his arms around him.
"Finally I can go home!" Loki cried, "I need to change Thor's hair back to normal. Some trickster turned it pink when he was in the bath's last."
"Loki that was you. Years ago." Odin said a tad awkwardly, not exactly sure what was going on. He looked up at Thor with a bewildered expression and Thor just shrugged.
Loki looked up at Odin, "What are you talking about? I did that hours ago-Father why do you look so much older than when I last saw you?"
"Ah Loki," Natasha said, trying to preform damage control, worried about a magically broken boy's reaction to being told of what actually was happening here, "Midgardian air is alot more taxing on the skin, it makes you look-"
"It appears you've been regressed to the time when you were twelve." Odin remarked, "Loki, I am older because I am older. You've merely forgotten everything."
Loki immeadiatly removed his arms from Odin's waist and coughed, "I see, so, how do I turn back to normal?"
Thor and Natasha fought back their fits of annoyed anger as Bruce approached them.
"You revert back to normal on your own, we basically just have to wait it out." Bruce said. Loki nodded and Odin sighed.
"I guess there's only one option: Loki and Thor will have to stay on Midgard until Loki's magic problems run their course."
"Woah, woah," Bruce held up his hands, "I don't think that was ever the plan. Why can't you bibbidi-bobbidi him back to normal?"
"Insanity: Doing the exact same thing to solve a problem and expecting different results." Odin chirped, "Any magic added to Loki's will only make your lives harder."
"Why ours?" Natasha asked almost hysterically.
Odin, for the first time, grinned with a twinkle in his eye, "Because it was Thor's bright idea to bring him here." Thor shrugged off his friends as he groaned.
"Father I didn't-"
"Save it Thor, I can get the full and unabrigid version from Heimdall," Odin smiled, taking joy in the fear that flashed in Thor's eyes as he realised his father had access to all his doings over the past while, "I expect something interesting."
And with that the All-Father waved his hands and he, along with the warriors three, disapeared.
"We are so screwed." Natasha groaned, looking over at the twelve year old who was eyeing Thor with an all new light.
"So you're my brother?" Loki asked, "Thor thousands of years later?"
"Yes." Thor answered.
"Hmm," Loki turned away, heading for the doors, "You aged terribly."
"So wait a minute," Tony said as he waved his can of beer around while he paced in the briefing room. The Avengers and Fury sat around the meeting table, Tony pacing the room, "Big bad dad shows up, obliterates our forces, finds out his sons screwed up bigger than Steve facing technology, and then thrust the responsiblity of Lo-kid on us because all Thor wanted was a night of secret stuff with Velma?"
"That's about it." Clint grinned, playing idly with his bowstring.
"I resent that." Steve and Thor said in unision.
"Well that's just great, I always wanted to be someones crazy uncle but Big Brother programs nation wide have my mug shot." Tony clapped his hands together, "Let's do this." He started to walk for the door but Fury, and his two guards, stopped him.
"What do you mean by that?" Fury asked.
"I mean, Captain Crunch, that I'm gonna go party with a twelve year old Asgardian god." Tony said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He then turned, snapped his fingers, and the guards parted to let him pass. Tony waltzed out of the room and down the hall, gone long before Fury had finished his rant to the two guards on who they worked for.
Loki was sitting in the containment cell calmly reading. When Tony entered the young boy looked up at him disineterestedly before realizing who he was and smiling.
"Hello there." Loki said, "What can I do for you?"
"Are you hungry?" Tony asked.
Tony threw up his hands, "Then it's time for pizza!"
"What is pizza?"
Tony chuckled darkly, "Oh, you'll see."