A/N- Here is another installment of my Inuyasha and Kikyo parody fics. If you reading this and think I support InuKag, exit out of this story immediately. I do not like Kagome. Period. I'm not kidding, get out of here.
The back story to these parodies is; a few months ago when I got introduced to this website I went to look at stories about Kikyo because I thought there would tons of real high quality stuff, I was sadly mistaken. Instead I was assaulted with the worst written stories that shamelessly bashed Kikyo to bits while making Kagome out to be this poor little girl that gets cheated on. I am all for writes supporting the pairings they like, I just don't support all the Kikyo bashing! And would it kill some writers to use spell check?
I'm sorry. I am ranting. I'll get to the story now. But if anyone shares my sentiment, please leave a review or something.
This parody is based on a story I read a while ago. I think it has been updated and fixed. But that original story had absolutely no writing skill behind it. I won't name it to be polite. It was just total garbage in my mind.
The doll of Hatred (Kagome POV. Bear with me for a bit.)
Kagome sat outside Kaede's cabin in the village. Sango and Miroku were flirting over by the well while Kirara and Shippo were playing with a dust bunny.
Inuyasha was absent.
Kagome was mad.
He'd said he was going to procure some supplies before they went on the road to continue their journey to slay Naraku.
He should have been back by now. Because he was much faster than a regular person, so gathering a few things should not take so long.
There was only one logical explanation.
He was meeting Kikyo.
That had to be it! He was probably making out with Kikyo in the middle of the forest. Or worse, Kikyo was such a loose woman. They could be doing anything.
"What's with the long face Kagome?" Kaede asked from behind Kagome.
Kagome turned to look at the wrinkled old woman. "I am just worried that Inuyasha has gone to face off with Naraku or something else equally stupid." Kagome said trying in vain to appear calm.
"Ah yes. He will do anything to avenge the death of my sister. Such a devoted love. You really could learn how to love by observing them Kagome." Kaede said wisely.
Kagome pouted as she continued looking at Sango and Miroku. They made such a good couple. Why couldn't Inuyasha just realize that Kikyo was dead and did not want him? Then he could have Kagome all to himself.
She stood quickly and walked away. An idea had just struck her head!
She worked quickly to create a doll of voodoo of sorts. Oh yes! She could use this to solve her love life dilemmas!
It was a miniature Kikyo. Complete with her miko robes and silky black hair. Kagome even made it have that expressionless face. It was perfect! She would use this to split Inuyasha and Kikyo apart!
She was searching for a needle to stab it with when she heard, "Oh Kagome! You made a Kikyo doll! That is so sweet!"
Kagome's heart sank into her stomach. She turned again to see Inuyasha standing behind her.
He had been kissing Kikyo. His lips were a shade darker than usual and he looked especially happy.
He was now holding the Kikyo voodoo doll. "You made this for me, so I could have it while Kikyo and I cannot see each other? That is so kind! Now I will not miss my Kikyo so much." Inuyasha said.
He tucked the doll into the inner pocket of his robes. "I was just speaking with her. She'd like to get fully back together with me. And that means; she's moving in with us!" Inuyasha cheered.
Kagome was raging. "No! She is not welcome in our little group! I don't want her!" Kagome shrieked. "Inuyasha, she's such a whore!"
Inuyasha's face darkened. "Kikyo is a wonderful person. And I intend to marry her once we defeat Naraku. So you should be kind to her." Inuyasha said. "I know why you hate her though."
Kagome's face brightened. He returned her feelings!
"You think that being around her will cause your soul to transfer to her."
Kagome stood there blankly. Not only did he not return her feelings, he thought she feared a zombie would steal her soul?
He was continuing to say stuff like, "Kikyo is so honest, and she would never do that." And "She promised to keep her soul collectors outside."
Sango and Miroku approached. "Isn't it wonderful Kagome? If Kikyo joins our group then we can have a jewel tracker here while you are in your world." Sango said.
"It totally makes sense!" Miroku said. "And she is perfect bait to lure Naraku out of hiding!"
"Kikyo is really looking forward to working with us." Inuyasha said. "And guess what?"
Sango guessed, "What?"
"I'm going to propose to her right in front of Goshinboku!" Inuyasha said excitedly.
"Is that the best idea?" Miroku asked. "That's where she shot you to the tree for fifty years…"
"Yeah Inuyasha! She killed you don't you remember?" Kagome piped in.
"I'm going to say 'No matter what happens, I will always be here for you. Nothing you do will ever deter me from you' and she only did that to save people." Inuyasha defended Kikyo. His eyes had gone glazed over as he was probably thinking about how dreamy it was that Kikyo killed him.
"That is so romantic!" Sango said. "You should say all that and then promise to be by her side forever!"
"I will! And I'm going to get her now, so if you guys could please clean Kaede's house out, I want everything spotless." Inuyasha said.
"Sure thing buddy!" Miroku said. He and Sango walked off hand in hand.
Kagome trudged behind them her heart rapidly sinking.
Doll Discovered! (Inuyasha POV. FINALLY.)
Inuyasha raced through the countryside. He was so lucky to have such supportive friends. Many people wouldn't support a relationship with someone that was dead. But true love could really conquer anything. Even death itself.
Inuyasha found Kikyo walking calmly through the forest. He sat atop a tree branch and watched his beloved without her knowing for just a few minutes. Her lips were a bit swollen from kissing him earlier, and her smile was etched beautifully into her delicate features.
He loved Kikyo so much. He almost couldn't keep living when he thought Naraku had truly killed her. Thankfully she had come back to Inuyasha.
He jumped out of the tree and stood in front of her. "Kikyo my love, you look beautiful as always." Inuyasha said.
His abrupt motion had caused the doll to fall out of his robe and onto the ground in front of Kikyo.
She hesitantly picked it up. "Inuyasha, why do you have a voodoo doll designed like me?" She asked with her voice that sounded like bells.
"Voodoo? It's not a voodoo doll. It's just a doll. Kagome made it so I wouldn't miss you when you were gone!" Inuyasha said.
Kikyo looked at Inuyasha in doubt. "My dear, this is a voodoo doll. It was designed with much anger and hatred. Can you not smell it?"
He took the doll gently out of her hands and held it to his nose. "By the Inu line! That is a doll of hatred. But why would Kagome make such a thing?"
"I don't think she likes me very much." Kikyo said. "I did try to kill her."
Inuyasha wrapped Kikyo in his arms. "My love that was when you thought that I had left you for her. You responded out of jealousy, and I would have done much the same thing in your shoes. And that was all in the past! Let us ask her what the meaning of this doll is."
Kikyo climbed onto Inuyasha's back as he carried her to Kaede's village. He loved her hands holding onto him, they were so white and delicate.
"Inuyasha you must protect that doll. If an enemy gets a hold of it they can control me completely." Kikyo whispered into Inuyasha's ear.
"I will protect you!" Inuyasha declared. "No matter what."
"Thank you, my beloved Inuyasha." Kikyo said as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
At Kaede's Village. Kaede's House.
Kikyo and Inuyasha walked through the door to see Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kaede, Kagome, and Kirara waiting for them inside.
"Greetings Sister!" Kaede called. Kikyo approached Kaede and hugged her.
"Thank you all for allowing me to aid you." Kikyo said she reached over and looped her arm through Inuyasha's, "You have no idea how wonderful it is to be with the one I love."
Inuyasha leaned down and kissed Kikyo on the temple. "It means everything to me." He murmured softly.
It was decided that Inuyasha and Kikyo would sleep near the back of the house, their beds were right next to each other, and Kagome fumed.
Sango and Miroku would sleep much the same way next to them.
Then came Kagome and Kaede. Kagome had to sleep next to the old woman.
A small child was going to die.
Kagome sat awake in her sleeping bag that night. She could hear Shippo snoring lightly as he slept on Miroku. Miroku was muttering, "Oh Sango, don't touch me like that-"
Sango would wake up every once in a while and tell him to stop sleep talking.
Kagome had sat up and looked over to Kikyo and Inuyasha, and that had made her get very upset.
Inuyasha and Kikyo were spooning against each other as they slept. Normally Inuyasha would sleep against the wall holding Tetsusaiga! But no, he would happily sleep like a normal person if Kikyo were involved.
Kagome silently thought of things to do to separate these two.
The Next Day. (Omniscient POV. My Specialty.)
Inuyasha brought Kikyo with him to Goshinboku. She was wearing a blind-fold per his request. Miroku had winked at Inuyasha as he led Kikyo out of Kaede's house.
"Where are you taking me my love?" Kikyo asked.
"To a place filled with memories." Inuyasha said cryptically.
He led her directly in front of Goshinboku and removed her blindfold.
"Oh Inuyasha, why here? This place if where I killed you! And where I died moments later." Kikyo said holding Inuyasha's hands in her own.
"I brought you here to show that no matter what happens to us, I will never stop loving you. I will never love any other woman. You are my life Kikyo. And without you, I would cease to exist." Inuyasha said looking deeply into Kikyo's dark eyes.
Kikyo was shocked when Inuyasha got down on one knee, "Kikyo, when this is all over, and we have defeated Naraku, will you become my wife? As we were always meant to be?" Inuyasha asked her.
Tears were streaming down Kikyo's face. "Oh Inuyasha, how could I ever say no? Yes! Yes I will marry you." Kikyo said as she leaned down to kiss Inuyasha. "I will never ever love anyone other than you." Kikyo murmured in between kisses.
They continued to embrace and passionately kiss like they had always wanted to do. Now that they were engaged they could finally kiss like this and not be chastised. Not that that had stopped them before.
Inuyasha was just reaching for the red string around Kikyo's neck when she roughly pushed him away. Her eyes had turned a deep crimson.
She pulled her bow and arrow out and pointed it at him. "I changed my mind, I could never love you. Half-demon." Kikyo said menacingly.
"Why Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked. "Why so suddenly?"
Kikyo shook her head and her eyes turned back to normal, "Inuyasha, someone must be using that voodoo doll Kagome made; I can't control what I'm doing! Please get away before I am forced to kill you!" Kikyo cried. "I couldn't bear ever hurting you again!"
"No! I will never leave you!" Inuyasha said. He looked around them in haste, he had to make sure the person controlling Kikyo would not have her inflict self-harm.
"It must be Naraku! Trying once again to split us apart!" Inuyasha said.
Kikyo once again held the bow pointed at Inuyasha. "I will kill you! Half-demon scum!" She cried.
Inuyasha managed to dodge the purifying arrow that was shot at him. "Don't worry my love; I'll change you back to normal!" He cried.
"Naraku! Show yourself you coward!" Inuyasha screamed at the top of his lungs. He had to dodge another arrow as he said this.
He turned to see Naraku and Kagome walking out of the trees at their side. Inuyasha's first instinct was that Naraku had kidnapped Kagome, but then he saw that she was willingly standing next to him.
She held the Kikyo voodoo doll in her hands, and she had a bow and arrow in its hands.
"Kagome! Why would you join Naraku?" Inuyasha asked.
"We have banded together through our dislike of you and Kikyo being romantically involved." Naraku answered his sneer was ever present.
"How dare you! Kagome no matter how much you fear Kikyo stealing your soul, she won't! She promised!" Inuyasha said.
"I don't care about her stealing my soul!" Kagome yelled. "If you were just not so stupid you'd realize that I have loved you all along! Yet you continually choose the dead zombie over me!"
Inuyasha was shocked. No, Kagome couldn't love him. He could never imagine them together. She was like a younger sister.
"Inuyasha." He heard his beloved mutter through her teeth. She was still pointing the bow at him. "Get the doll."
Inuyasha silently nodded and turned to face Naraku and Kagome. "It is useless. You two can do nothing. Kikyo and I are engaged now."
Kagome squeezed the doll and Inuyasha heard Kikyo groan in pain. He had to act now, or Kikyo would be crushed.
He pulled out his Tetsusaiga and aimed the sword at Naraku. Naraku hissed and sent tentacles in Inuyasha's direction. Inuyasha jumped just in time, as Kikyo shot an arrow and it pierced Naraku's tentacles. Naraku roared in pain and Kagome's attention was fixed on him.
Inuyasha took the opportunity to grab the Kikyo doll out of Kagome's hands. Once he held it Kikyo became free and she ran to his side.
"We have to destroy this." Inuyasha said quickly.
"No! Whatever we do to it happens to me!" Kikyo said. "I have to take its magic away."
"You two will never defeat us!" Kagome said as she was pointing an arrow at them and protecting Naraku as well. "Once we get the Shikon jewel we will wish you two into oblivion."
Inuyasha stepped protectively in front of Kikyo. "No. I promised Kikyo all those years ago that I would get it and become a human to live alongside her. And I have no plans of letting her down." Inuyasha said.
"Inuyasha." Kikyo whispered.
"Kagome, we must escape. I have to regenerate, leave them for now. We can kill them once we acquire the Shikon Jewel." Naraku said.
Kagome wordlessly followed him into the forest and away from Inuyasha and Kikyo.
Once they were gone Inuyasha wrapped Kikyo in his arms. "Can she make another doll?"
"No. Only one thing can hold the essence of my soul at once. Thank the past mikos for that rule." Kikyo said.
"I was so scared when you said you didn't love me." Inuyasha whispered.
"I was dying when I said that." Kikyo said. "I worry now, what if you really do leave me for that girl?"
"I would never, and I will never. She might look like you, but she is not you. She can never be as virtuous or as wonderful as you." Inuyasha said. "And I will never stop loving you, Kikyo."
Kikyo smiled at Inuyasha. "I love you so much. I just worry about my reincarnation."
"I'm sure everything is fine. She made the choice to go with him. Now if it were forced, I would have to act." Inuyasha said.
"You are so just. And that is why I love you." Kikyo said with a smile.
They continued to kiss in that forest in front of Goshinboku for several hours.
At Naraku's Hideout.
Kagome had joined Naraku hoping that he would love her and only her. She thought this since he seemed to love alone, save for a few alter egos.
She never thought that she would find this.
Naraku and Kagura were kissing passionately. And it was quite passionately, they put Kikyo and Inuyasha to shame in the wandering hands department.
Kagome walked outside the hideout and screamed her lungs out in frustration.
With Kikyo and Inuyasha
"Did you just hear Kagome scream?" Kikyo asked.
"Yep. Serves her right for turning against us." Inuyasha said.
"Theres always Koga, right?" Kikyo asked.
"Nope. Last I heard he was with this Ayame woman."
"Waiting for Rin to grow up. Don't worry, he isn't a pedophile." Inuyasha joked.
"I feel sort of bad for her." Kikyo said.
"Don't be, she deserves it." Inuyasha said.