Come and Go With Ed
All credit goes to Ed, Edd, n Eddy, one of the best cartoons to exist
As far as canon goes, the force is strong with this one. I will try to stick to the show as much as possible, and make episode references all the time. I try as hard as possible to keep the characters in character.
This story contains scenes and situations that involve graphic vilolence, teenage sexuality, mild/coarse language, mature situations.. If you at all feel nervous reading such scenes, you have been warned.
Part I - You'll Never Walk Alone...
"Calling it a simple schoolgirl crush was like saying a Rolls-Royce was a vehicle with four wheels, something like a hay-wagon. She did not giggle wildly and blush when she saw him, nor did she chalk his name on trees or write it on the walls of the Kissing Bridge. She simply lived with his face in her heart all the time, a kind of sweet, hurtful ache. She would have died for him.."
"Love is not what you say, love is not what you think. Love is what you feel."
It was yet again another bright and shinny summer's day in the loving cul-de-sac that resided in Peach Creek. It was roughly 8 am in the morning. As usual, Johnny 2x4 and Plank were walking in the alley telling jokes and laughing. Jimmy and Sarah were in Jimmy's yard playing fashion design, with Sarah being the model and Jimmy the designer. Rolf was tending the yam fields with his beloved goat Victor. Kevin was riding his bike around with a jawbreaker in his mouth. It had been about 1 year since the incident with Eddy's brother at the amusement park. And since the Eds were now a normal group in the cul-de-sac, they were no longer picked on by Kevin, or anybody. Even the Kankers rarely paid any mind to them. Eddy, who had put away his scamming past, was listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack record in his room as he showered and got dressed, complimenting his looks as he combed his hair in the mirror
"Call 911, cause a handsome cat just broke in my house!" he exclaimed.
Ed was in his room, still tired from the Sci-Fi Channel Top 50 Monster Movie countdown that was on TV last night. He was disappointed that Night of the Living Dead did not win, instead finishing second to The Fly. Of course, Ed can get quite emotional over his horror/monster movies. He takes them as seriously as someone would take chemistry or politics seriously. Not many people could hope to understand the mind of Ed though. Especially his two best friends in the whole world.
"Buttered toast and gravy boat!" Ed said as he rose from his bed and popped two bread slices in the toaster. They came out as he buttered them, and he took some gravy from his tub and poured it on one slice of toast, and made a buttered toast gravy sandwich, a delicacy worthy of only the best horror movie experiences. After his breakfast, he jumped out his window to go get Eddy.
Double D having already showered and dressed, finished his last chore of polishing the kitchen floor. This was his typical routine, and Double D is always touchy over his rituals concerning the notes left by his parents. Double D's main mission in life is to bring pleasure to as many people as possible, especially his parents. He now went to his room very quickly to take inventory of his incects and Jim the cactus before taking off his rubber gloves and leaving the house to go meet his two friends for a fun day.
However, a fun day it would not be.
As Double D saw Ed and Eddy walking, Eddy spoke up.
"Yo Double D, that was some night huh? Who knew Ed had it in him?" Eddy said.
"Yes, quite the achievement. And my sympathies that your favorite movie did not win Ed." remarked Double D.
"Thanks Double D, and my symphonies to your Mozart too."
"Shut up Ed." Eddy said, "I am bored, how about we go aggrivate Kevin. Ever since he stopped pickin' on us, it's been getting kinda dead around here."
Indeed, Kevin, for the most part, had stopped his constant belittling of the Eds. And honestly, he didn't really have time for it. He was much too busy stacking his own self-image ever higher than to think about little things like the Eds.
The Eds walked over to Kevin, who was doing donuts in the circle of the cul-de-sac in front of Nazz, his official/unofficial girlfriend. Eddy soon took note of his jawbreaker.
"What gives Kev, where did ya get the sweet stuff?" Eddy said in an angry tone.
"Shove off dork. If you must know, Nazz bought it for me, for my birthday."
"Oh really, how about coughin' up some of that dough you owe me from our last bet, the one on Ed staying up to watch the countdown." Eddy, much more angrily (because money was involved, said.
"Why don't you make me, dork?" Kevin shouted, and now had dismounted his bike and was now in Eddy's face. The whole cul-de-sac had now gathered around to see the commotion.
Out of the cul-de-sac, past the construction sight up on the hilled trailer park, the Kankers were outside doing their normal chores, chiefly washing clothes. Lee Kanker, the red, curly haired sister was sitting on the steps going up to the Kanker trailer, and after haing heard the commotion, grabbed her binoculars to spy on what was going on down in the cul-de-sac.
Meanwhile, in the cul-de-sac, the argument countiued, this time both Double D and Ed took either side of Eddy, ready for the dispute. Kevin spoke,
"Look, I don't owe you anything and you know it. You're just lookin' for money and you know it!"
"Actually Kevin, if my calculations are correct, you did indeed cooperate this money bet with Eddy as to whether Ed would stay up until 2 o'clock in the morning to see the end of countdown. I believe the bet was $10, and you owe the subsequent amout of payola to Eddy this morning, that is, if you are willing to uphold your end of the agreement." Double D chimed in.
"Was anyone talkin' to you Double Dork, now butt out, this ain't got nothing' to do with you."
"No one talks to my friend like that and gets away from it! Ed, come over here!" Eddy said, red as ever and filled with anger at Kevin's smart remark.
"I'll do whatever I want to your 'friend' if I want to, and you (he pointed at Eddy) and your big oaf here, ain't gonna do a thing about it." Kevin remarked, and he walked over to Double D and punched him in the gut and pushed him over into the street.
Up at the trailer park, Lee looked with urge.
"MARIE, you need to get over here an' see this, hat guy just socked your man!"
Marie Kanker, the blue-short haired sister made no mistake and took off from washing clothes to grab the binoculars from Lee's hand.
"Zesh, don't have a heart attack." Lee whipped back, and stood beside her. Marie quenched and nearly cried to see her man lying on the ground hurt. Her sadness was equally expressed in anger at Kevin, and she made marks in her hand from her finger nails from her balled up fist.
"Nobody does that to my Oven Mitt and gets away with it!" Marie quipped, and started to get up.
"I am goin' down there Lee, and no one is stopping me!"
"Plant it Marie, and just watch!"
Down in the cul-de-sac, just after Kevin did this, everyone gasped, Nazz ran off crying, and Eddy was infuriated. Ed was the only thing holding him back from attacking Kevin.
"Let me go Ed," he said, "he is gonna get the poundin' of his life, let go Ed!"
"Listen here mister, there is to be no fighting today.":
"Ed, you need to stop fighting your brain for oxygen."
Just as Eddy finished up with that statement, Kevin stood there chuckling. But just as he started, Double D stood up, wobbly at first, and said the following things:
"Kevin, I have had it up to HERE with you and your constant bullying!"
"Whoa, it just got real." Eddy said to Ed as Double D was screaming.
"You have made a fool out of me for the last time, and it ends today. You're constant pillaging of rational discourse has left you paralyzed with pride as your situation has rendered you with more enemies with friends. And I feel it is time you get a dosage of your own perscrition!"
"What are you gonna do, sick your cactus on me?" Kevin sarcastically remarked.
"That tears it!" Double D screamed and jumped on top of Kevin. This sudden surprise left Kevin paralyzed, as Double D pounded Kevin's face with his fists.
Now hold up a minute, Double D in a fight? Harmless little Double D? Well, I am just as surprised as you are. Double D is not a fighting person at all. But we must understand that Double D is a human, and possesses all of the human emotions. Including anger. He had just bottled this anger up to the point where he couldn't handle it anymore.
"Wayta go sockhead, give it to 'em!" said Eddy.
"Cover your eyes. Plank" Johnny said.
Double D had wanted to do this all his life. But all his life, he had been too paralyzed by fear to do anything about it. It was certainly his most defining characteristic. All of his life he had been afraid of something, but he didn't know what. It was very possible that that was the very thing he was afraid of.
By this time, Rolf had heard the fight, and ran over and ripped Double D off of Kevin.
"Sock headed Ed boy, what is the meaningless battle that Rolf hears today. Rolf has not seen such anger since the Great Turnip Wars of 1054. What brings to this, Ed boys?" He looked at Eddy and Ed.
"Well," said Eddy," I just wanted to know where my bet money was, and Double D here backed me up, and Kevin jumped in and completely insulted him. Double D just did what anybody would do." Eddy crossed his arms and made an approving gesture.
"Ah, I see, the stump three haired Ed boy sought his bargin smargin and the Kevin insulted the brainy Ed boy."
"Exactly Rolf." Double D said.
Marie was watching her man fend for himself for the first time and he won. She was dreamily watching.
Rolf turned to Kevin and picked him up by the back of the collar.
"You have shamed Nana's yams for the next ten harvests due to the foolishness Rolf saw to the brainy Ed boy. The Hat of Discipline is the only punishment Rolf sees fit. Good day, Ed boys. Good bye, yes." He carried Kevin away to his yard for his punishment.
All the kids ran over to Double D to raise him up. Johnny and plank came over as well with Sarah and Jimmy. Eddy and Ed held Double D on their shoulders, and Johnny shouted " Three cheers for Double D, bully slayer king! What's that plank? Make him king of the cul-de-sac? Sure thing buddy, you're the boss. Three cheers for Double D, king of the cul-de-sac.
The kids gave three "hip-hip-horrays" before putting Double D down and walking off to continue doing what they were doing before. Double D couldn't have felt better, but felt he was missing something.
But what was he missing? Something, for certain; something plagued him. In his mind he knew there was emptiness inside of him. Somewhere, deep down inside of him, he could feel a void; a hole in his soul. As much as he tried to ignore it, he just couldn't.
He went home afterwards, not knowing why or what had happened. He still couldn't come to terms with what he had done. He had gone against every single one of his moral ethics and beliefs in non-violence. Was it justifiable? Double D felt as if his entire character, his moral makeup had been taken for a complete transition. It's all open to interpretation. But Double D felt that he would go to the past and stop the entire situation from happening if he could.
Double D just didn't feel like himself anymore. His inner thoughts tormented him. His mind raced. His forehead had beads of sweat rolling down. Drip after drip they fell down to his shirt. His perspiration was causing him great fatigue; as if Double D didn't already feel enough fatigue as it was. But now it was just total exhaustion: full, total exhaustion. The very things that made his brain tick were all at once flipped over to reveal his deep, hidden emotions. The emotions he had never wanted to be made visible before. They were like the phantom menaces, tormenting him and causing his life to tumble around, yet still remaining unseen by his peers. The very things that plagued him were coming back to haunt him, in a very unusual way.
Walking through the door, Double D felt the cold force of the air conditioned house hit him fully in the face. It relieved much of his heat exhaustion, though he still felt the actual fatigue to be quite overwhelming. He couldn't help but close his eyes, the emotional weight being enough to force them shut no matter how he tried. It was almost as if they were closed by fore, not by his own intentions. As if someone was trying to show him something. Something he needed to see. Something he needed to know.
Closing his eyes, he felt like he was falling into a deep sleep. His mind wandered off to a place that was known, but unknown. Visual, but non visual. It was weird, strange, etc.
Then he could see something. Though it seemed like nothing at first, he tossed it off as nothing. He practically just disregarded it. But after several more moments, the image began to focus, more and more. The more he looked into his thoughts, the crisper the picture became. The clearer the thought started to become. He could still only see a clearer blur though, because the picture was still not coming into full detail. But he could make an outline of what he thought it was. He could see some blue, a little black, some green maybe; still fuzzy, but much more concentrated.
Eventually he could start to make out a face. An oval shaped head. A crooked smile. Two opaque, oval shaped blue oceans that were eyes. Three carefully placed freckles below the eyes. Those eyes that captivated him. That toyed with his emotions. That pulled at his very soul and made him think beyond what was already there. A feeling of comfort and non-worry. He could feel no wrong when he looked into those eyes. Those eyes of affection, and of beauty. A head of short, blue hair that graced him like a large field of beauty, sweeping over all the good feelings that came over him. That sinister grin, those lovely eyes, that wonderful face. It was all coming to him. The image was crystal clear. He could see everything. Everything that he hoped for, right before his eyes and dwelling in his inner-most thoughts. That image...
Several hours later, it was roughly nine o'clock, plus or minus a minute or two. Double D woke up to find himself still lying on the living room floor, in front of the door. His face was buried deep into the carpet, and a slight smile was over his face. He had stared into that image for hours in his sleep. That image was now implanted into his brain for good. It was there to stay. And yet, he could feel that it was almost as if it had been there all along; as if he was born with that image in his mind, and even more so in his soul.
He climbed the stairs, those dreaded, awful stairs up to his room. The walk was not long, nor tiring, but relieving for the most part. He opened the door to his bedroom, taking his shoes off and placing them in the designated box before he went it. The widow was open, and let in a light breeze. The curtains rustled as the light went from one point to another, never following a straight path.
Double D took and lay down on his bed. Not even bothering with putting on pajamas or anything. He just didn't feel like fooling with them. For the first time in his life, he had broken his cycle of routines and rituals for another option. He felt a little bit freed by doing this, as he just lay on his side, facing the other end of the room and the open window. He could see some slight shadows dancing among the street lights, though he paid little mind to it.
He just laid there and slowly closed his eyes again. He had to see that image again, that image that would just not leave his thoughts.
That image of Marie Kanker, the girl he'd always loved...