Author's Note: This is my first "published" endeavor into the fan fiction world. I'm a bit nervous about it. As of now only one person has read this. I would like to thank PixiePhotos for giving me a little push to put this into the open (if you haven't read her stories, go now! Do not stop, do not collect $200, just GO and read!). Please feel free to review, but be gentle... Also this is unbetad, so any mistakes are mine alone.
Disclaimer: I do not have any claim to Boondock Saints/Connor/Murphy/Rocco or anything else that was in the movie. That's all Troy Duffy (brilliant man that he is). I do not have any claim or rights to any song lyrics or titles that I use. Make This Go On Forever is all Snow Patrol. Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You is all Led Zeppelin. All I can lay claim to is Kher, Ava and any other OC or plot line that isn't in the film, which we are now entering so things may look a little familiar...
Chapter 41 (Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You):
"It was really, really good... You made me happy every single day... But now... I've got to go away!"
Ava and I sat at our kitchen table, Duffy standing across from us, leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.
"What the hell is happening?" I finally asked, breaking the silence we had been caught in since he had pulled us away from the scene.
"You weren't supposed to be there today," Duffy replied, rubbing his hands over his face.
"I'm sorry, we missed that memo," Ava snapped.
"Why the hell were you there?" he asked, his voice heavy with exasperation.
"What? Rocco was only friends with them?" I asked. "Why wouldn't we be there? It wasn't like it was a closed trial!"
"Do either of you have any idea how dangerous this could be for you? If you're associated with them?" Duffy pushed, moving to sit across from us.
Ava scoffed and I snorted. "We're already associated with them, Detective," Ava replied, an edge to her tone.
Duffy sighed and shook his head.
"Where are they?" I asked, my voice trembling.
"They're gone," he replied.
"That's what you told us three months ago and guess what? They were here. The whole time," Ava snarled.
Duffy reached into his pockets and pulled out two envelopes and two velvet boxes sliding them across the table. Ava's box was long and thin, her envelope purple. Mine was small, a burgundy envelope with it. My breath caught in my throat as I realized the only thing that could be in my own box. "Wha...?" I breathed.
"What is all this?" Ava whispered.
"They wanted you to have these. I was supposed to give them to you after the trial... after we knew they were gone," he explained. "Like I said, you weren't supposed to be at the courthouse today." He stood from the table. "I'll leave you both to look these things over. But don't try to search for the boys. You won't find them. I can promise you that."
Neither of us noticed as he walked out of the apartment, our focus completely on our respective letter and gift.
"Should we..." Ava trailed off.
I managed to glance over at her. "I don't think I can do this alone," I murmured.
She nodded slowly. We each took a deep breath and grabbed our jewelry boxes. "You first," I whispered. She bit her lower lip and opened the box. Inside was a delicate white gold charm bracelet. A celtic cross, a heart and a clover were already in place.
"Oh God," she breathed, her voice thick.
I shuddered. "It's beautiful," I told her, my own throat clogged. "Never thought Murphy would have such good taste."
"Your turn," she murmured, wiping a tear from her eye.
I turned my focus to the velvet box gripped in my hands. They began to shake as I slowly opened it. My mouth opened in a silent sob as I took in the ring inside. White gold with a princess cut diamond, a tiny emerald on each side.
"Oh Jesus," Ava breathed, her hand on her chest.
"He was..." I trailed off, tears spilling down my cheeks.
"That's an engagement ring," Ava whispered.
I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears continuing to flow. I heard Ava pick up her letter and carefully tear open the envelope. With a shaky voice, she began to read.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be writing you this in a letter. You deserve a proper good-bye, but some things can't be helped. I have to leave. Will I be back? I honestly don't know. I wish I could tell you I would, but I can't. I honestly don't know what the future holds for us. I know I want you in it, but I can't put you in that situation. Don't think it's because I don't love you. The good Lord knows I do. I know I don't say it much, but I do. I can tell you this much. If there's a way for me to have both you and this life and keep you completely safe, I will find it.
I sent you this letter with your birthday gift. I realize it's a couple months late and I am sorry for that. I got a little distracted, I guess. Hope you like it. You're a hard lass to shop for!
I wish I could tell you where I'm going but I can't. It's safer for you not to know. Take care of Kherington and let her take care of you. You're my best girl. Stay that way.
I love you, lass. Don't forget that.
She folded the letter and put it back in the envelope before turning to me, wiping a tear from her eye. She lightly pushed my letter towards me.
"I don't think I can," I whispered.
"Do you want me to?" she asked.
I nodded slowly.
Ava sighed and picked up the letter and carefully pulled the paper from it.
Fuck me, I'm sorry it came to this. The last thing I ever wanted to do was leave you alone. But I can't stay. Murphy and I have to go. I don't know if we'll be able to come back. Don't think this means I don't love you, because the Lord knows I do. I love you so much, it's killing me. But I have to stick with Da and Murph. I have to do this. For God and for Rocco.
I hope my gift to you wasn't too shocking. I had planned to give that to you months ago and in the right way, but time slipped away. But I want you to have it. It's yours. Who knows if you would have said yes, but I'll just assume you would have. If things manage to work out... well, best not to think about that in case they can't. Don't want to make this harder.
I want to ask you to wait for me... but I won't do that to you, especially since I don't know if there's anything left for you to wait for. So the most I can ask is don't forget what we had. And don't think that it didn't mean everything to me.
I'll always love you.
I wiped at my cheeks viciously as Ava gently laid down the letter. We sat in silence for several beats before Ava pulled out her bracelet. I stiffly helped her put it on her wrist before turning back to my own box. I pulled the ring out with shaky hands and looked at it. I moved to put it on my left ring finger but found I just couldn't, as if my body knew to reject it under the circumstances. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand before setting the ring back in the box. I reached around my neck and unclasped the necklace, my hands shaking. I picked the ring back up and slipped it over the chain to join the cross. I held the necklace out to Ava, still in silence. She took it and motioned for me to turn around. I did and felt as she slipped the jewelry around my neck, quickly clasping it, her hand patting my back gently. I turned back around and stared blankly into the apartment, Ava doing the same.
"So..." she finally breathed, breaking the silence.
I looked over at her.
"What happens now?" she asked, her eyes meeting mine.
I swallowed heavily. "I guess we try to move on."
She nodded and forced a smile before we pulled each other into a hug, collapsing into sobs. Tomorrow, we'd be better. We just had to make it through today.
AN2: Conspicuously Shrouded-It is really bittersweet, isn't it? I want this story to go on forever, but I know it can't! I'm so appreciative of each and every one of your comments and I'm go happy that you loved this story! Thank you for sticking with me and making this journey with me! I hope you stick around for when I manage to post the sequel! I guess it's not quite over yet!
iforgiveyou-Well, I'm glad your hopes were answered! I can't let ConKher and Murphy & Ava (can't think of a cute couply name for them) like this! I know this ending is heartbreaking, but it's not completely over! Promise! Thank you for sticking with me and always giving me such enjoyable reviews! And I've never loved being a wench more! :)
Alessandra-I hope you still love me! I know this ending probably isn't what you hoped for, but it's only over for now! The sequel is on its' way! I love you for your reviews! You are awesome! :)
My Anonymous Reviewer #1-Chapter 39... I love and hate it at the same time. I think it's one of my better ones but it's just such a heartbreaker. Thank you, though. I hoped to convey their emotions and make the reader feel it with them.
My Anonymous Reviewer #2-No Ireland trip just yet... but their story isn't over! Haha, if I can make this story into a trilogy/series, I will do what I can. I'll write until I run out of ideas, ha. For now though, I can promise you a part two definitely. I don't want it to end either! I'm so, so glad you enjoyed it. It means so much! And wow, a favorite of all time? That is amazing, thank you!
Lucy-I will hold you to that! Ha! I am doing a sequel! It's not going to be immediate because I want to make sure the quality is as good (if not better) than this one was. I am working on it though, so it is coming! Omg, thank you so much for the compliments! If I can find a story to tell, I will tell it! Your reviews are so sweet and thank you so much for loving this so much! You are WONDERFUL!
Valerie E. Mackin-What am I gonna do now that I don't have anymore to give you to review? ;-) I will have a sequel at some point... maybe that works? Thank you for your consistent reviews. It means so much!
Well guys... that's it... for now. As my best friend said who just recently read this... "You better be writing a sequel... no one likes an ending like 'The Break Up'!" So my faithful followers, I am furiously working away at giving you a sequel. However, like with this story, I don't want to start posting until I have a finished product to ensure I don't get stuck and leave you hanging. I have at least half written and I work on it daily so I promise it's coming. The one thing I will say is that the second movie seems much more difficult to stick the girls into, not sure why. So, it may end up being a bit more of an AU piece, I don't know. Please feel free to PM me or comment any ideas you have/storylines you might like to see. I can't promise I'll use them, but I welcome any and all ideas that could help inspire.
One final time (for now) I want to thank each and every one of you that took the time to read this. I want to thank each and every person that reviewed. I want to thank everyone that added this story or me to their favorite/alert lists. I honestly expected -5 people to read this and any comments I received to be negative. I am so overwhelmed with how well received this story was. I can't even put into words how wonderful it feels to put something out there and have even one person appreciate/enjoy/love what I've done and the fact that it seems I can count them on fingers and maybe even toes? Just... wow. Talk about a natural high! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you all so much and I promise you haven't seen the last of me! Just be patient with me!
I just want to take this time to thank the following one last time (I know, you're probably like "SHUT UP ALREADY AND WRITE!):
PixiePhotos, DTSGuru, Valerie E. Mackin, Rhanon Brodie, iforgiveyou, WinglessFairy, "Alessandra", Conspicuously Shrouded, SaraLostInes, "Lucy", Are You Afraid Yet, CapnJen, His Chaos Princess, 0netflixme0, meb1313, ModernDayJuneCleaver, TheBaconMaker, and my sprinkle of Anonnies...
You all are wonderful. Thank you. I want to send you all flowers and cookies and love. You took the time to hit a button, whether it was the review/favorite/alert and I just can't tell you how amazing I think you all are for loving this in some way.