You know, grown woman just do not understand teenage girls. I mean, giving them a lousy journal for their 'Going into High School' present?

My Aunt is so retarded. She thinks this will help me achieve self-actualization faster than my mother, who she says was a total wimp when she was my age.

Well now she and my Dad are like mayors of some town in Europe, so, doesn't that completely defeat the purpose?

But, I guess if it helped my mother become what she is now, I guess I'll try it out.

Even though I reached the top of the tree of self-actualization years ago, I mean hello, I live with Lily Moscovitz.

I'm in homeroom right now, and my friend Artimis Claee will not shut up about how she thought she saw our coach throwing a condom in the trash can.

Well, good for Coach Gean, because, at least one teacher in this school is getting laid. And he used a condom, so extra brownie points, Gean.

I mean honestly, the last thing we need is more people on this planet, because at least more than half of her population are dumb as an elephant's left butt cheek.

I for one am a completely independent woman, who does not bow to the masculine powers of the opposite sex. So no one has to worry about me popping out yet another imbecile into our already failing human race.

All I should be focusing on, and I am, is my education, because if I don't get into to college, my father and Aunt will kill me.

My mom on the other hand would be all like, okay honey; I accept your decision.

But to be frank, if I don't get into college, I would probably kill myself too.

Artimis is yelling at me.

"Irene, hello, are you listening?"

"Yes, Artimis, I am aware of the scandalous affairs of Albert Einstein's staff, now can we please focus on History?"

"Well, I was just going to say that Ryan is trying to get our attention." She said all offended, scrunching up her pixie face.

She is talking of my other best friend Ryan Firstt. It turned out he needed a pencil, which I threw at his dumb, ginger head.

He should know that I am not fond of lending my school mechanics to people. And he's actually what I consider smart!

Or at least he's above average intelligence at this underprivileged high school.

I know I am. I was raised by a college professor. Which I guess kind of sucks sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I love Lily, but I wish I actually lived with my parents you know? And I ask them all the time why I cant, but my dad just strokes my hair and tells me I'll find out one day.

Well, Dad, how about today?

Got to go to English.