AN: Hi, everybody! So this is the first poem in what will eventually be a series of poems, each devoted to a different Star Wars character. As the title says, they will all be hopelessly silly and Dr. Seuss-like. Enjoy!

Poem 1: Ode to C3PO

Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,
You're made of bolts and nuts.
You've got sheet metal for your skin,
You've got wires for your guts.
You're fluent in six million
Forms of communication;
Unfortunately, you're useless at
Most other occupations.

You're honest and straightforward,
But incapable of having fun.
You have zero common sense,
And plenty of horrible puns.
Those silly ewoks had no clue
About the real Goldenrod:
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,
They thought you were a god!

Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,
You're rarely brave in a fight.
You live in R2's shadow,
Although it's half your height.
You're ridiculously servile,
Addressing all by "sir."
Your British-butler accent
Tends to get on my nerves.

You're unbelievably tactless,
With a knack for screwing things up.
You're always eager to tell the odds
When you really should shut up.
And the way you interrupted
That kiss romantic and true . . .
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,
I wanted to dismantle you!

But 3PO, wait! Don't take offense,
'Cause despite your numerous flaws
You never fail to make me laugh;
Your antics deserve applause.
Your pessimism's entertaining;
Making fun of you is a ball.
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,
You're my favorite droid of all!

AN: I hope to eventually get around to doing one poem for each major character, and several for minor characters as well (though none will probably be as long as this one!). And like the summary says, I take requests! If you want me to write a poem for Jabba the Hutt's annoying little pet mouse, or if the next chapter absolutely must be the one for Darth Vader, put it in a review or PM! Requests can also be for places, objects, or events (like Naboo, a lightsaber, or the combustion of the Death Star). The only condition is that this character/place/object/event must appear at least briefly in at least one of the six movies, because I am not at all familiar with the EU. Other than that, anything goes! Expect sporadic updates because life has a habit of getting in the way, but I will try my very hardest to keep the poems coming! Now that's quite enough out of me, so request away!