A/N: I was going through my writing folder and I realized I never published this. Welp. It's set in the beginning of season 3 (Quinn's going through her skank phase and the whole ordeal with Beth and yeah). Just a quick little one-shot (what else is new xD)
Darling, Why Do You Look So Scared?
Nothing was the same, now that it was dark. There was a storm raging out her window, just like the thunder in her heart. She had managed to get this far, so why now?
She had suffered in silence for almost her whole entire life. It was never a problem before.
So why now?
She began to hyperventilate as the tears came at a more rapid pace. Her knuckles were white as she gripped her steering wheel. Her breath started to fog up her car windows. She can't take it anymore. It's just not humanly possible to bare anymore pain.
No one would care if she was gone. No one would really notice. Christ, her parents haven't even noticed that she was supposed to be home from school seven hours ago. She's been swaying in the background long enough to let people write her off. If she doesn't speak up, contribute, have a storm out, do anything, it's fine.
Because people don't notice her anymore.
When she was younger, her older sister, Frannie, used to take her out on little shopping trips. She would gaze up at her beautiful sister as she tried on outfit after outfit, looking impossibly beautiful in every one. She could only hope that one day she could be that beautiful. That's why she was always flabbergasted when Fran would toss aside each outfit with a scoff.
This one makes me look fat. The guys won't like that. Too boring.
Quinn piped up once.
But Fran… I think you look pretty.
Her sister had squatted down and looked Quinn right in the eyes.
It doesn't matter what you think, Lucy. It's how others see you. It's all about how you look.
That night she stood in front of the mirror sucking in her stomach, crying as she heard her classmates taunt her in her head.
But now? All she is to everyone is a psychopathic bitch. Why would they care if she suddenly didn't show up for school one day? They would probably assume she was skipping to try to destroy someone else's life for her own personal gain, or something disappointing like robbing a liquor store. They would relieved that wouldn't have to deal with her rich, white girl problems anymore.
She has nothing going for her. Her own little beacon of light is being kept out of her grasp no matter what she does. Her own daughter – her baby – the human she gave life to and brought into this world, doesn't even like her. How sad is that? She literally has done everything she can do, and yet she is still told 'no.' She is told she isn't enough. She'll never be enough. She'll be stuck in this town for the rest of her life with only her heartache to keep her company.
But she doesn't want that.
So with tears streaming down her face and an ache in her chest, Quinn made up her mind.
With shaking hands she turns her ignition starting the now freezing car.
Through blurred vision (she really hates crying), Quinn starts to drive with determination. It takes only a short ten minutes to arrive at the bridge. By this point, somehow, the storm stopped. Getting out of the car with shaking legs, she is assaulted with the smell of fresh rainfall. It's something that she has always loved. To her it always filled her with a sense of wonder and peace.
But this time it was just musky and choked her.
She'll never be able to be happy. God is punishing her for her life of sins. She'll never be forgiven. She deserves this. She knows that this is the ultimate sin. She knows that people will call her a coward. They'll look down on her. Call her selfish. But she doesn't care. It's hard enough to even wake up in the morning. It takes all of her energy to just pretend to smile. It's the same routine. Every. Single. Day.
But she doesn't want it.
So she walks over the railing of the bridge and slowly climbs over until the back of her legs are leaning against the cold, wet marble, and her toes are hanging over the coursing river below. One of her tears falls off of her cheek and gets lost in the eternal blackness. Whipping her head up to the sky, Quinn takes her last look at a few stars that peaked through the clouds.
Taking her last breath, Quinn's fingers loosen…
When her phone buzzes in her pocket.
Cursing she opens it.
Good evening, Quinn. I know that this is a bit out of character, and I know we aren't really close friends, but I was wondering if you would like to sing a duet with me? It would mean a lot to me. And maybe we could possibly hang out? Despite what our pasts may show, I would really like to be your friend. I care about you. xxx Rachel
She lets go of the railing and falls.
There's a sold thunk when she lands on her knees on the pavement and sobs into her hands.
No one ever notices her.
But she does.
And that's all that matters.