Author's Note: This was written purely for entertainment's purpose, and not to be taken too seriously. It's mostly dialog, and kind of funny, and I hope you enjoy!
It Began at Goodbye: Part I
Summary: "I'll give you three seconds to decide…what'll it be, Princess?" Clare is a vampire-smut writing novelist, Eli is in an unhappy relationship with a goth actress, and Adam is overcoming his fear of Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Sounds like a recipe for drama and hilarity!
"Hey, sexy lady."
"Eli, hush. I'm reading."
Eli pouted, and peered over his girlfriend's shoulder to catch a glimpse at her book, "What are you reading?"
"What, it's just a question."
"It's my new book by D.C Edward."
"D.C Edward. She's a famous erotic author who just wrote a tell-all book about her life's experiences. Can you believe that? Having the nerve to write about all this stuff?"
"Erotic author?" Eli frowned, "Why do you need to read those kinds of books when you have me at your beck and call?"
"Eli, really. You're being a nuisance."
"I just am interested in what you're choosing to read over paying attention to me."
"Eli," Sharona rolled her eyes and flipped a strand of black hair over her shoulder, "Fine, if you are going to bother me this whole time, I might as well tell you. She writes erotic vampire fiction. It's really sexy."
"Sexy? Vampires? Excuse me while I go vomit up my lunch."
"Really, Eli," Sharona shook her head and pursed her lips, "You're unbelievable. Anyways, she just wrote this new tell-all book about her life in high school and college. She was this little shy kid growing up, and then everything changed when she met this guy."
"Doesn't it always."
"Eli, honestly! Anyways, they dated and oh my gosh, it's hot. Like…he sounds super sexy. But then he turns into a major douche bag, and hopefully she changed his name because if not, this guy would be getting his balls kicked by random girls every five sec…"
"She sounds like a femi-nazi."
"Oh Eli, see – this is why I don't tell you things. You can never be serious."
"Sorry, I'm just concerned as to why my beautiful girlfriend who happens to be a professor of Pre-Victorian Gothic Literature is reading vamp-smut."
"It's called having a guilty pleasure, Eli," Sharona rolled her eyes again, "And besides, this book isn't smut. It's an autobiography, so to speak. Anyways, this guy she dated turned into a major douche. Like, he broke up with her the day after she graduated from high school simply because he was too much of a turd to try the whole long distance thing."
"Hey," Eli looked offended, "Maybe he just was scared of losing her and wanted to get it over with, like a Band-Aid."
"That's stupid," Sharona stared at him, blankly before he reached over and grabbed the book from her hands, "Hey!"
"Page one hundred and seven: I couldn't believe he could ever hurt me like that. After all we had been through. He tore my heart out of my very chest cavity, and stepped on it over and over and over again in those scruffy Aldo sneakers of his. Ouch! Kid's got good taste in shoes though…"
"Give me my book back if you aren't going to be serious!"
"How can I be serious if you're reading a book entitled: It Began at Goodbye – One Girl's Jounry to Find her Meaning."
"Eli, it's just a book. Not every book as be worthy of a Pulitzer, alright? Besides, D.C Edward is on the New York Times' Best Sellers list. That's a pretty big achievement."
"So what? That Fifty Shades of Drivel made it on that list."
"Grey," Sharona corrected him, "And that was an excellent book as well."
"How are you a literature professor?" Eli rolled his eyes and tossed the book to her.
"Whatever, Eli," Sharona sighed and tossed the book on the coffee table, "Look, D.C has a book singing this weekend, and I want you to take me."
"Oh wonderful. That's just fantastic, because you know, I didn't have anything else to do with my life."
"Eli stop it. We're going, and that's final."
"It's been a long, sought-after dream of mine to come face to face with a vamp-smut-writing, femi-nazi-storming, male-loathing…"
"Fine," Eli gave in, growing bored of picking on her, "So, what do you say you ditch the book, and you and I have a little fun of our own?"
"Eli, I'm reading," Sharona grabbed the book off the table, "Please, go do whatever it is you do."
"Really? You're picking D.C Edward over me?" Eli dramatically gasped, "I bet D.C isn't half as good in bed."
"Eli, shut up!"
Sharona had gone to bed about an hour ago, and Eli sneakily crept out of bed. He made his way towards the living room, and grabbed the book off the couch. He flipped on the lamp on the end table, and began to skim over the book, desperately trying to see what about it had drawn his wife so.
I miss him. I can't believe I am admitting that, but I miss Isaac Silverton so much. I think about him every second of every day. It's stupid, and I know it. How can I possibly still think about someone who is all but dead to me? He was a coward, a selfish coward. I am done with him. We haven't spoken in years, and yet, he finds his way back to me every night in my dreams.
"People seriously read this crap?" Eli raised an eyebrow, but decided to continue. He flipped forward a couple of pages.
Fredrick is out of jail. Amanda called to tell me the news. After everything that had happened between him and Isaac, he ended up actually being arrested for arson. Funny, I guess foreshadowing sometimes really does exist outside the world of a novel. Now that he's free, I am worried. I worry for Isaac, and for myself. Fredrick is the one person who scares me more than Isaac…and I don't know how to react to that.
Eli rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that people actually paid money to read some overly-glorified writer's diary. But at the same time, he couldn't stop reading. He flipped through a few more pages.
Elliot says Isaac has a new girlfriend. Good for him, really. I just hope he's learned from his past mistakes, and treats her better than he treated me. Elliot said that he met her while doing a play at the community theater. She's a professor at the local community college, and likes to volunteer as an actress at the community theater in her free time. Apparently her name is Roxanne – like the old rock song. Elliot said he really doesn't know what Isaac sees in her. I guess some couples just fall for one another, without any sort of logical reasoning behind it.
Eli's brow furrowed. This book was getting creepier and creepier by the second. It wasn't so bad that her boyfriend had broken up with her the day after graduation. That happened to a lot of couples, right? But the fact that he met his new girlfriend while working on the play for the community theater? That was just too much. Already pulled into the pages, Eli couldn't help but read more.
Elliot confided in me that he's worried he will never have a girlfriend. It's tough for him. His transition is complete, but girls are still turned off by him. It's not fair. He's a wonderful guy. Any girl would be lucky to have him. So then why don't I go for him, you might be asking? Well, he is Isaac's best friend. More like brother. And I have never seen Elliot in any other way besides being a brother to me as well. I just want him to be happy. Everyone deserves happiness. Yes, even Isaac.
Eli jumped back to the beginning of the book, his brow furrowed and his heart rate quickening.
I never imagined he'd be interested in me. When I was younger, I was far from attractive. I had this stringy red hair, and clunky coke-bottle glasses. No guy would ever be interested in me, right? I had my fair share of crushes and heartache, but there was something different with him. When I first saw him, he took my breath away. I had dropped my pencil bag and this ugly black vintage limo rolled over it. I looked up to see him step out of the car. He knelt down, picked up my pencil bag, and said, "I think it's dead."
No! Eli couldn't believe this. He slammed the book shut and threw it across the room, as if it's very touch had scalded his hands. Sure, the details were different, but D.C Edward was definitely C.D Edwards – Clare Diane Edwards.
"What the hell was that?" Sharona appeared in her skimpy black and purple lingerie that Eli had bought her, "Why in God's name are you throwing things at…what the fuck? Is that my book? Why were you throwing my book?"
"Sure it did," Sharona eyed him suspiciously, "Come to bed."
Eli reluctantly followed her back to the bedroom. As he tried to fall asleep, all he could thing about was that stupid book. He couldn't believe that she had actually written a tell-all book about them. What right did she have to do that? Eli was fuming.
The next morning, he decided not to tell Sharona about Clare. She didn't need to know, and it would only cause even more unnecessary drama. Nope, that was definitely not something Eli was willing to be a part of. He kept the book and Clare secret, and didn't speak a word of it to anyone. Well, until Sharona left for work. Then he called Adam.
"Eli, what's up!"
"Nothing's up, Elliot. What's up with you?"
"Damn it!" Adam groaned into the phone, "How did you get ahold of that book?"
"Sharona is apparently in love in D.C Edward."
"Oh God," Eli could practically see Adam wincing on the other end of the line.
"Yeah. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you'd act like this," Adam sighed, "Look, it's just a book. The names and details are all jumbled up. She was using this book as a coping method. She figured the only way to move past everything was to put it all out there."
"And that makes what kind of sense?" Eli growled into the phone, "Sharona is dragging me to the book signing this weekend."
"Yeah, crap. What the hell do I do, Adam?"
"You still talk to her, right?"
"You know I do," Adam's voice dropped, "But if you have a problem…"
"No," Eli lied, "It's fine. I just was wondering if maybe you could…I don't know…talk her out of the book signing?"
"Eli, don't be an idiot. How the hell would I do that?" Adam demanded, "She has a lot of people counting on her to be there."
"I can't believe my girlfriend is having an affair with my ex-girlfriend…"
"She doesn't even want sex anymore because of Clare's stupid vamp-smut."
"Well, it is pretty hot…"
"That's it. I'm revoking your man-card."
"Come on," Adam chuckled, "It's good reading."
"If you start talking about sparkly vampires, I may have to disown you as my best friend."
"They don't sparkle, they shimmer."
"Don't be a girl."
"Hey, I can and I will kick your ass. So, what are you going to do?"
"What any logical person would do," Eli said, matter-of-factly, "Hide out at your place until this whole book signing shit is over."
"Yeah, that'd work out well for you, except…I'm going to the book signing."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Sorry, dude. I think you should just suck it up and go. Remind me to pack some popcorn and Milkduds. This is going to be the most entertaining thing I'll see in…"
"What? Normally I don't condone war, but you and Clare seeing each other again and World War Three breaking out will be pretty entertaining…"
"I know where you live."
"Like you scare me."
"I'll dress up in a Barney costume…"
"Okay, okay dude. Shit, I mean, come on man…there's some things you just…you just don't hold against another dude."
Eli smirked, "I guess I'll see you on Saturday then."
"I'll be the one with the popcorn."
"I can't believe you dragged me here," Eli groaned, glancing around at the hundreds of people crammed into the local bookstore, salivating for an autograph or photo.
"Hush," Sharona held the book tightly to her chest, "I can't believe we're actually here!"
"I'm gonna go look for Adam…"
"He said he'd come for moral support."
"Whatever," Sharona rolled her eyes, "Just don't bother me while I'm talking to D.C."
Eli scanned the crowd of people until his eyes landed on Adam.
"So, does Sharona know that you uh…know Clare?"
"Nope, and I am planning on keeping it that way or else I'll never hear the end of it. Besides, don't you know that it's bad mojo for your girlfriend to meet your ex-girlfriend."
"Yes, mojo. Don't mess with my mojo."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Adam held up his hands in surrender, "Clare's out back taking a five minute break if you want to…"
"No, I don't want to."
"I didn't even finish what I was going to say!"
"You were going to say: 'if you want to go see her.' To which I replied: 'No, I don't want to.'"
"I wasn't going to…alright so maybe I was going to suggest that. Well, I'm going to go see her…"
"No! You can't leave me in this horde of male-hating lunatics!"
"Then join me."
"Oh hell no!"
"Okay, well then…see ya!"
"Adam! Okay, okay…fine…I'll come with you."
Adam smirked, content with himself, "How'd I know you would?"
Eli growled some profanities as he followed Adam out to the back door. Adam swung the door open, and Eli saw her leaning against the brick wall. She was twirling a strand of auburn hair around her finger and looking nervous. She almost looked seventeen again. Eli gulped as Adam strode over to her.
"Hey, Adam!" She grinned and they embraced, much to Eli's disgust, "Ugh, I am so nervous. I don't want to go in there, Adam. You know how I get about this publicity stuff. There's a reason I use a penname."
"But your publisher wanted you to, right?"
"Yeah," Clare winced, "I just want to go home."
"I know," Adam sighed, "Well, I have a surprise for you."
"You'll help me sneak out? We can go through this alley and.."
"Nope, I have another surprise."
"Adam…I don't know…"
"And now, introducing the man who started the whole It Began with Goodbye sensation…"
Eli peered around the doorframe, "Hi, Eli how are you? Fine, Clare; thanks for asking."
"Sorry," Clare exhaled, "Adam, is this some sort of joke?"
"No, but it sure is funny!"
"I will kill you in your sleep," Eli turned to Adam.
"You'll come into my bedroom while I'm asleep?" Adam raised an eyebrow, "Kinky, Eli, but I don't roll that way."
"Shut up," Eli rolled his eyes.
"Would someone please explain to me what is going on?" Clare asked, exasperated.
"Well, Eli's new chick…"
"Sharona," Clare raised an eyebrow, and Adam nodded.
"Apparently she loves your books, and she wanted to come to the book signing. Eli got dragged into it."
"Believe me, I wouldn't be here if it was on my own volition."
Clare furrowed her brow, "I don't see you for years and you are here…at my book singing?"
"We live in the same town, princess," Eli rolled his eyes, "We were bound to see each other at some point."
"But today of all days? Adam, I can't do this. I already don't want to do this dumb book signing and now this?"
"Hey, I'm just an innocent bystander," Adam grinned, stepping back from the two of them, "This is your mess."
"My mess," Clare sighed, "I thought I was done with this mess."
"And then you went and wrote a tell-all book about this mess," Eli perked an eyebrow, "Definitely a good way to show that you're done."
"I…I wrote that book for me, Eli."
"Oh that's funny, because it seems to me that I am a pretty big character. What was that line about you still thinking of me like…what was it? Oh yeah, all the time!"
"You read that?" Clare looked as though she wanted to melt into a puddle.
"Oh yes, D.C, I read it all."
"When did you take up cursing?"
"When you taught me how to," Clare folded her arms over her chest.
Adam laughed, "Oh this is SOOO much better than watching Ninja Wrestling on pay-per-view."
"Can you shut up?" Clare turned to him, "Seriously?"
"What?" Adam chuckled, "Five bucks says in ten minutes you'll either slap him or kiss him."
"Uh, can I have an input?" Eli asked, "How about no to both."
"Aw, that's no fun," Adam pouted.
"No one is kissing anyone," Clare tried to remain calm, "And as long as he remains civil, there is no reason I should slap him. Eli, I can't believe you actually read that book. I never imagined you'd ever read it. How was I supposed to know…"
"That's the funny thing about getting your book published, Clare. People will…get this," Eli dramatically waved his hands, "...read it! Shocker, right?"
"I don't want to deal with this right now. I have to get back inside and sign autographs and…"
"Would you be inclined to talk about this situation more if I were to help you sneak out the back alley towards my car?" Eli raised an eyebrow.
"No," Clare crossed her arms, "I am not discussing the book with you!"
"Don't you think you owe it to…Isaac. After all, without him as a character, I highly doubt you'd have as many readers as you do, or be making quite as much money…"
"I get it," Clare had to fight to keep her voice level, "You're mad. That's fine. That's reasonable. But I am not going to just run away from my fans…"
"You were the one that suggested it."
"Eli, stop it," Clare sighed, "My break's up. I have to get back…"
"No you don't," Eli smirked, "Come on. Run away with me."
"Not to like Mexico, dummy, just to my car to escape this lame-ass book signing. We can drive around, talk, I might be inclined to buy you a burger, and then I'll bring you back. I'm not going to rape you or anything."
"Kinky rape sex?" Adam chimed in, "I thought you told me she was too freaked to even give you a blow…"
"I will murder you," Eli jabbed a finger in Adam's chest.
"Oh my God," Clare placed her head in her hands, "Unbelievable. Both of you!"
"I'll give you three seconds to decide," Eli folded his arms over his chest, "One…"
"Eli, this is so ridiculous. I can't just run off with you…"
"I don't even have anything to say to you…"
"Three. What'll it be, princess?"
Author's Note: I am thinking this will be a three-shot. What do you think? It's just something light-hearted and fun!