Disclaimer: Forgot to mention that I also don't own any of the songs parodied in this entire fic. Don't expect me to remind you again. PS: If you have sentimental feelings for this particular song, you are heavily advised not to read my parody of it. You have been warned.
A/N: Per request I am including another member to sing for you. Please hide all knives and other items you wish not to be skewered with.
The overwhelming stench of rotten meat was the first sign to Bakura that something was wrong. First of all, Marik was a vegetarian, so he didn't allow Bakura to eat steaks in the apartment. Secondly, Marik was a diva, so he had zero tolerance for disgusting smells. These two facts drove Bakura to grab the butcher knife from the counter when he heard shuffling in the bedroom. But of all the terrible monsters he'd suspected might have invaded his home, none came close to causing the horror that gripped him when he pushed open the door.
"Hello, Binky Boy. Nice of you to finally show up."
"Melvin! What are you doing here? I thought we banished you to the Shadow Realm."
"Foolish fool!" Melvin cried madly, "Haven't you learned by now that I cannot be contained by such a flimsy existence?"
"I guess I shouldn't assume anything with you."
"What's the matter, Bakura? You sound like you're not happy to see me."
"I'm ecstatic, I assure you. What did you do with Marik?"
"Oh, he's taking a nap. I only wanted a brief word with you, Binky Boy."
"I'm actually busy at the moment, but if you could leave a message –"
"Don't be a stiff. I've come a great distance for this moment, and I'm not leaving until you hear me out. Now sit down and make yourself comfortable." Bakura grudgingly took a seat on the edge of the bed while Melvin fiddled with a Karaoke machine. The music of "Somebody That I Used To Know" started playing. Then Melvin began:
"Now and then I think of when I was the leader,
Back then I was so happy when I made them die.
Told Marik that you were wrong for him,
But inside I craved your frightening grim.
Bakura, that ache was a love I still remember.
I got addicted to a certain kind of psychotic,
Like an evil spirit with a grin, always a grin.
So when I found that he thought you erotic,
Well I told him you could just be friends,
But of course you wouldn't let that crush be over.
Still, you didn't have to cut me off,
Make out with him like I couldn't see and I was nothing.
And I don't even need your love.
Just your body would appease me if you'd be so rough.
No, you wouldn't have to stoop so low
Whereas with my other half, you would have to take the blow.
I guess with me you'd blow too, though.
But I am somebody that will also blow."
Just then, the Pharaoh burst into the apartment. "Oh no you don't. Mind Crush!"
Melvin cried out in agony and crumpled to the floor. Then Marik regained control of his body. He got to his feet uneasily and stared at the Pharaoh in confusion. "Why did you help me?"
"Listen, pal," the Pharaoh replied, "I might not be able to stop you or Bakura from hogging the attention, but I cannot allow that lunatic to get more screen time than me. It's just pathetic; I mean, I have rights – the show is named after me!"
"Actually, it's named after me," Yugi objected.
"You are nothing without me. Nothing!" The two continued to argue.
Bakura nudged Marik. "What do you say to that dusty building from the first chapter?"
"I will give you my rod if you take me there now."
Bakura smirked, "And then I will give you mine." Thus said, they fled the apartment and the crazy duelist inside arguing with himself.
A/N: Yes, those things you thought were innuendos were, in fact, innuendos. And since he's Melvin, I feel perfectly justified using them.