A/N:: Hello, there, fellow Mortal Instrument fans. Okay, so I have only read to City of Glass, and I am waiting for the last book to come out before finishing the series, don't ask why, I just am, so please, don't ruin anything for me, if you have read City of Fallen Angels, and the City of Lost Souls, I don't want to know what happens. Also, this is an Original Character fanfiction, so go easy. Anyway, reviews are always very welcome Thanks 3
In front of her eyes her sister was bleeding, the sickness she had always been afraid of, taking hold of her body and breaking it. The frail body of the 6 year old had nothing left to vomit up, only blood, which slowly streamed out of her mouth, nose, and eyes. Cradling her in her arms, Jordyn felt nothing but the breaking of her heart. It was a pain so intense she couldn't function. She had collapsed to her knees and gathered up her sister, holding her as if it could stop what was happening.
Before she could register it, Jace had ripped her away from her sister, and driven a seraph blade through the chest of the small, broken body. Screaming in rage, Jordyn reached up to tear at his face, to strike him, but all of her energy was gone, all she could do was scream as hot tears streamed down her face.
A flash of bright white and she was sitting up in bed. There were tears on her face and pillow, sweat down her back and she had kicked her covers into a ball at the end of her bed. The image of her Katie with a blade in her breastbone was seared into her mind's eye, and every time she blinked, it was there, like a camera's flash, or a lightning strike. Around her, her room was boringly the same as when she had gone to sleep a few hours before. Wearily, she dragged herself to a standing position and made her way into the bathroom, untying her hair and letting it fall in waves around her shoulders.
It had been a year since that day on Valentine's boat, floating in the East River. Exactly one year since Agramon had forced her to witness her sister's body betray itself. Again. Jordyn remembered the overwhelming joy that had swelled in her chest as she had seen her sister walking towards her, arms outstretched for a hug. Knowing it was a lie, but hoping without hope that her sister had recovered. Until she had started retching, and bleeding, breaking, and dying…. Again.
She could never remember what had happened after she tried to tear Jace apart with her bare hands. Only blacking out and waking up back in the Institute, hearing about how Clary could make more powerful Marks than anyone, and Simon could walk in the sunshine. When she had tried to apologize to Jace, he had shrugged her away, muttering something about knowing what Agramon could do. Since that day, she had retreated into herself, focusing on things that numbed the constant ache in her heart, and forced the lump in her throat to go away. The threat of crying wasn't as constant as it had been at first. She would shut herself in her room, music blaring, so no one would hear the sobs. It had been selfish, she knew. She wasn't the only one with a reason to be sad. Especially in the following month, with the Battle of Alicante, the truth about Jace and Clary, Valentine's death, and the whole upturn of the system; Downworlders and Shadowhunters working together. The thought was still strange, though not unwelcome.
Standing under the hot stream of water from her showerhead, the painful images started to slowly leave her vision. She turned the knob to the right, cooling the temperature to just above freezing. As the water stabbed her skin all over, she managed to draw in a shaky breath and force all thoughts of that day from her mind. She cleared her mind of everything except what weapons she was going to use to kill demons today. Reaching out, she jerked the handle all the way off, and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around her body, and another around her hair, she opened the door that connected her bathroom and her bedroom, and was surprised to find Jace standing next to her bed, looking out her window, looking almost like the old Jace. Silent, moody, unreachable.
He had changed since finding out he was Stephen Herondale's son. Since he knew he could have Clary. It had been nice to see him happy. A nice change from the tortured look in his eyes since he had met her, since Valentine had started twisting his web of lies. He tore his gaze away from the New York skyline to look at her, one eyebrow shooting up on his angelic face. Smiling at this, Jordyn crossed to her closet and started rummaging for something to wear.
"What do you want, Jace?" She asked over her shoulder, not unkindly. When he didn't reply, she emerged from her closet to look at him. His face looked worried as he said, "I heard you screaming again."
"Oh.." Not knowing how to reply, Jordyn continued her search for clothes. Finally she settled for a pair of jeans and the sweatshirt she'd gotten at Disneyworld two years ago. It was one of a pair. The matching sweatshirt was small, made for a child, and had been thrown out after it got covered in blood and bile a year ago. Swallowing and pushing away more thoughts of her sister, Jordyn tossed the sweatshirt back into the pile of clothes and instead grabbed a plain, long-sleeved, midnight blue v-neck. "Sorry if I woke you," she mumbled after a moment, still staring at the clothes in her hands, not daring to look at Jace.
"You didn't." His voice was soft, and she could hear the sorrow in his voice. She knew he was thinking of Max. "You usually do, but I was already awake this time."
Looking up at him, her mouth fumbled to form an apology. The nightmares had become more frequent lately, but she didn't know anyone else had known, or noticed. "Jace, I'm sorry…."
"No, it's…. don't be… but, you said my name this time. Usually you just scream 'Katie,' or 'Agramon,' or just.. scream. But… you said 'Jace.' You've never said my name before."
"Because I usually wake up before the part where I try to kill you." Her voice shook, but she held his gaze. When he started to reply, she cut him off. "I'm going to get dressed now," she said, and whirled back to the bathroom, pausing only to grab underwear and a bra out of her dresser. When the door slammed behind her, she hastily fumbled to dress herself. She tore the towel off from around her hair, and raked a brush through it once. She didn't care how she looked, because a long time ago, she had resigned herself to knowing she would never be as striking as Clary. Her hair was long, black, and boring. It wasn't wavy and straight like Izzy's, and it wasn't bold and on fire like Clary's. She wasn't Amazonian tall, and she wasn't abnormally short. Everything about her was average. Her eyes were brown, her skin the color of melted caramel, lined with the scars of leftover Marks. If she hadn't been born a Shadowhunter, there would have been nothing outstanding about her at all. Nothing to give her life a purpose. She hastily applied mascara and eyeliner and fishtailed her hair over her right shoulder. In her skinny jeans and baggy sweatshirt, she looked as boring as ever. Sucking in a deep breath, she returned to her bedroom to find Jace sitting on her bed, looking as unconcerned as ever. She wondered why she hadn't heard him turn her stereo on, but it was on. Her favorite song pumping out of the speakers, slow, sweet, the singers voice pouring out in notes that broke her heart and put it back together again.
"Hey, Jace." She said. "Sorry to be so dramatic."
"No, it's not a problem." His voice was so understanding that it made her want to scream. She liked to think she was the only one who felt her pain. "Every night, you see me stab a seraph blade through your sister's heart. I'd be dramatic too."
Tears sparked at her eyes, "Jace…"
"When I'm not seeing my father run me through with a knife, I'm seeing Sebastian murder Max…." his voice wavered, and for some reason this made her mad. Anger flared up in her chest. He never used to be so open, so vulnerable. She could always depend on him to be steady, and now he bared his emotions to everyone. It was Clary's fault. She had made him soft.
"I don't care," she spat through gritted teeth. "Jace, I don't care."
Instead of looking angry or hurt, he smiled. It was a sad smile. "Yes you do, Jordyn. You care too much."
"No I don't!" she snapped at him, hating that the prickle of tears behind her eyes was worse than ever. In a second he was standing in front of her, his face lowered to be right in front of hers, his eyes locked on hers. "Lie to me. Don't lie to yourself." His voice was full of concern and caring and not the harsh sarcasm she was used to, and she hated him for it. But before she could reply, Clary burst into the room, full of life, energy, a swirling tornado of chaos that she brought with her everywhere. Suddenly all emotion disappeared, and Jordyn just rolled her eyes.
"Jace?" Clary said, sounding concerned. He straightened up and smiled at her, the same sickening smile that exploded onto his face every time he saw her. It made Jordyn's stomach flip with nausea, and she walked away from the now embracing couple to scoop her phone off of her night stand. No missed calls, no new texts. It was the same blank screen as always, the background set to a default color, because she had hated having to look at the smiling face of a sister who didn't exist anymore. She flung it back down on the bed and sat down to pull her sneakers on. She didn't look up when Jace and Clary started talking to her, saying her name, asking her if she was alright.
Once she had laced up the dark read Converse, she stood up straight and fast, causing Clary, who had been leaning over her, to stumble backwards. Fighting back a satisfied smile, Jordyn scooped up her phone off the bed and pocketed it, then reached for her wallet, took out a few bills and stuffed those into her pocket. Ignoring more questions and looks from Clary, she mumbled that she was going out and headed for the door. Frustratingly, and predictably, Jace got there first. "No, we need to talk."
"About what?" she cried, exasperated. "Can't you tell I don't want to talk to you two?" She tried to shove Jace, but he didn't move. She pushed harder but he still stood there, infuriatingly calm. She bit back the urge to shout at him and instead whirled around to face Clary. "Get him out of my way!" she snapped, her tone harsh. Clary looked at her, alarmed, obviously wondering why someone would ever be displeased with someone as perfect as herself. Sickened, Jordyn turned around and in one swift motion, ducked under Jace's arm, and out of the door before he could react. She was in the elevator before they had reached the end of her hall, and headed out onto the streets of New York City, headphones plugged in, hoping to pick a fight with someone strong enough to maybe make her tired enough to get some sleep tonight.