Author's Chapter Notes:
yaaaay its been forever even though Ive had this writen like.. months ago lmao oops
Silence envelopes the area while you and Rachel stare at each other, both minds racing: 'Why is she here? Did she know I was here? How? And why?' You wonder if your mom had set you up for this in hope that it would help you. Well, guess what? It definitely doesn t. Maybe this is a dream well, more like a nightmare. You ve suddenly become extremely nervous as you try to decide what you want to say. Maybe 'Sorry, wrong room' would work? You open your mouth to speak, but Rachel beats you to it.
"YOU" she yells. "Fuck you!" you cringe at the new vocabulary she seems to have picked up from somewhere.
"You knew I was here, didn't you. Who found out? Who told you? I did not change to this school just so you could find me and belittle and ridicule me even more! It was hard enough when the whole school blamed me and treated me like absolute shit for 'telling on you' in order for you to get expelled, which I so did not do nor would I have ever done that, so much that I HAD to change schools because it was so bad." You open your mouth to apologize for everything, that you had no clue that that would happen, that you didn t mean for it to turn out that way. But once again, you are cut off before you can even start.
"So I'll tell you what. You'll just be wasting your time here because it won't work. You see, I'm not as low on the social ladder as I used to be. In fact, I am just the opposite. So if you think about doing anything to me, you will sorely regret it to the point that you wish you were dead!"
You cringe and cave your body in a bit as those last bitter words come out of her mouth at you. You already do wish you were dead. But she seems to not even know that.
She's changed since the last time you saw her; she's more...
Your thoughts are interrupted by a soft clearing of a throat. You look up to see some other girls dressed in uniform.
"Uhm Rachel you ready to go to lunch?" the shortest one of them asked.
"Ya just let me get my purse" she replies as she goes back into the room briefly before coming completely into the hallway and locking the door behind her.
"Do you have a key?" she asks you. You can't make any words come out of your mouth so you shake your head no. "Good" she smirks. "If you know what's best, you should leave, Quinn" she warns you before turning to her friends and walking towards the staircase, the other girls following her. You hear them talking softly and you try to hear what they re saying.
"You already know the new transfer girl?"
"Ya, she's a nobody though. Treat her however you want, I honestly don't care" Rachel tells them.
You wait until you hear the outside door close before you kneel down and unzip a the front of your suitcase. You find the picture frame containing one of your family photos and open up the back so you can take out the glass. You shove the rest of the frame back into the bag hastily, not even bothering to zip it back up, and lean the suitcase against the wall next to the door before you go downstairs to find a bathroom, the glass hiding in your clothes. There was no way to cut while at the hospital, and your mom had packed your stuff for boarding school so you really didn't have anything else to use. You look on the map to find a bathroom that seems a bit excluded so that you won't be seeing many students there.
Lunch ends and Rachel returns to her room. Since she has a free period now, she can basically do whatever she wants. Upon arriving at her door, she notices that your bag is still outside.
"Quinn?" she calls out for you, but only receives silence. She unlocks the door and goes inside, thinking that maybe you got a key, but after searching the room, she does not find you. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion as to why your suitcase is still in the hall. She goes out to look at it, and she notices a zipper that is open. She reaches in and pulls out the frame which is in parts: the back unlatched and the picture loose. And then she notices that the glass front is missing. She ponders why the frame is in pieces and then...
Her eyes widen in fear at her realization. She shoots up from her previous position and thinks of where you might be. Scenarios race through her mind of what you might be doing. She sprints off in search of you, if there is anything left.
You only slightly take note of the door of the bathroom being burst open and feet rushing in, but you're too busy from being lost in your mind to really care.
"Quinn?" Rachel rounds the entrance wall and sees you in the corner with a distant look in your eyes, knees held to your chest while rocking yourself back and forth, shattered glass and blood pooled around you. She gasps and rushes to your side on her knees. She takes in how you are taking heavy, shaky breathes while your body is trembling. She tries to calm you down, hugging you to her body and stroking your hair.
"Shhh, it's ok, it's going to be ok" She notices blood dripping down your shins and she peels your arms away from their death grip on your legs. She tenses at what she sees: bloody gashes along the bone from your kneecaps leading all the way down to your ankles.
"Oh Quinn..." You snap out of your trance at the tone of your name. "Why?" You slowly turn your gaze towards her, your face neutral. You stare at her, questions running through your mind. 'Why is she here? Why does she care about me? Doesn't she know that this is all because of her? Because of what she does to me? How she makes me feel? Think? Act? Why I hurt myself, try to kill myself? Does she even know that she is the cause of all of this? Why won't she just go away and leave me be?'
After what seems almost like forever, you return your gaze to the wall in front of you.
"Go away" you flatly demand. But when you remember how Rachel had been so stubborn before, it explains why she doesn't budge.
"Do you like watching me bleed? Does it make you feel satisfied?" you ask, venom in your voice.
"Of course not!" she answers in disbelief. "Why would I want to do that? I'm not a terrible person like that, Quinn."
"Just leave me be. Please..." you softly request, but with a broken voice.
"No" she says forcefully.
Startled by the way she answered you, you swiftly turn your head towards her. You look into her eyes and see pure concern. You don't understand... Why does she care?
You treated her like shit; she should return the treatment. But she never once degraded you for all that you did to her or made you apologize for it. In fact, it seems like she withstands all of it because she knows what you are going through; even though she does not know it is because of her. And even if she may not be able to relate to your pain, she still wants to help you. And you just can't understand why she thinks you're worth it. You face forward again and close your eyes so you don't have to keep seeing her emotions. You hear a squeak of shoes and then water running. A moment later you feel something wet being placed on your legs. Opening your eyes, you see Rachel cleaning up the blood on you. You go to grab her arm to stop her, but she swats your hand away. It's embarrassing how she is willing to clean up your mess, so you look away so you don't have to watch. You start to feel drowsy, most likely from the blood loss, but it could also be because of Rachel. Your eyes droop and eventually shut completely. You barley register the feeling of yourself being lifted up and carried bridal style.
Rachel brings you her room... Your room. She lays you down on her bed since the extra bed is currently only a mattress without sheets or anything. She sits next to you, brushing her fingers through your hair soothingly.
"I'll be back in a couple minutes. I'm going to go get some things to help stop the bleeding some more ok?" she doesn't wait for you to respond before getting up and leaving to go to the nurse's office.
While fast-walking, she tries to come with a reason to give for wanting bandages. Upon arriving to the nurse's office, she has come up with the idea of saying that they're for a class project. Somehow, the nurse believes her, but only gives a limited amount. She hopes that it'll be enough and races back up to her room to find that you've completely passed out.
Gently in order to not wake you up, she cleans and wraps your wounds. When she looks at the clock she realizes that she's going to be late for her next class, so she gathers her books and papers for class. But before she leaves, she kneels next to you, smoothing your hair down again.
"I'll be back soon ok" she whispers to you even though you're completely out and can't hear anything. She kisses your forehead and then gets up and exits the room.
Chapter End Notes:
ok so like mmmm idk if I'll continue with this... its been a long time since Ive had feelings of cutting n stuff (blame the meds hurhur). But I suppose I can try, now that Ive gone over the story again.
BUT! I do need some assistance. gimme yo ideas on what should happen next, cuz I dont think I have anything in specific planed yet so yaaa halp me out hurr ok tyty ily