Esme and Carlisle's big separation, Plus a little Alice action.
Carlisle and I have decided to have a break from one another because we have realized as much as we love each other, we need to sort out what we're dealing with at this time of our lives.
Carlisle gave me one last kiss goodbye, as I departed with my baggage.
"I'll call you when I get to Alaska" I said, as I said goodbye to my foster kids, who I love dearly and I know they are distraught.
"Ok Esme, stay safe". Carlisle said as he tried to at least smile, but I could see this was killing him inside, but it's for the best.
"Carlisle if this is not what you want, I'm sorry but I need this and I can't lead you to believe I'm happy…I'm sorry". I said
"I know sweetie, I want you to be happy, that's all I can ask, and I'm actually very glad you are willing to know what decides your happiness".
"Ok, thankyou Carlisle, bye, take care…I'll miss you, and I know that we both know that".
"Ok Esme, you'd better be on your way" He said as he tried to smile again".
And just like that she was gone, I knew that my children weren't that happy about our decision, but either way, they respect our fatal decision.
I went back into the living room to join my family after the departure of Esme.
Alice put a hand on my shoulder to show her support. And I really like Alice for, and my family for that matter. No matter how hard things got, they'd always be there for me, and same goes for me I am always here for them and I'll never turn my back on my family.
"Carlisle, you'll be ok". Edward said, reassuring me.
But I know I have no way to believe that. On the other hand I have to be positive about this situation.
As the days passed, I began to feel lonely, even with the company of my loving vampire family. But every day if I'm not at work, I read medical books in my study and from time to time they'd come and check on me to make sure I don't have to suffer in silence. And I know if I need to talk to someone that I have them and I even have some close friends of mine like the Denali clan and some guys from the hospital that have become close to me.
It's amazing to know how many people care about you once something happens.
Alice comes to see me at work every few days to see how I am dealing with this, she is the one that I can relate to , because jasper fled to Seattle a few months ago after he and Alice had a terrible disagreement that changed their lives. And they did the same as Esme and I did, they realized that they were just too different like their perception of life and other things.
In my whole over 300 years of existence I never knew that this would happen but no one knows the future...well expect Alice. I laughed at my little inside joke.
It's 5 am and I got called into work, sometimes I feel as though I'm lucky that I don't sleep because of my hectic work schedule.
I said goodbye to everyone and hoped into my Mercedes and sped off to Fork's community hospital. Knowing that as soon as I got there, I'd have to leave my home life at home and get on with my work-Helping people…I love being a doctor, being able to help those in need. It makes my life worth something knowing that I helped other people's.
"Hey Doctor Cullen". Said my friend/college . "How are you holding up, Carlisle?".
"Well I could be better but I can't dwell on the past". I said.
"True, how's the family"?
"They are well, they're dealing really well with mine and Esme's separation, but they are in good hands" I said as I laughed.
"Well I'm on my break in about 5, wish you could join me" He laughed.
"Yeah I just got here, so sorry you may have to take a rain check".
"Ok, well maybe another time we can have a round at the pub".
"Oh sure, but I might be busy, but I'll see what I can do". I said nervously knowing that I cannot digest foods or liquids expect blood so that requires me to lie, which I absolutely hate.
We exchanged goodbyes and I headed to my office down corridor to fill out paper work. Until I am needed during an emergency.
After a couple of well needed attended emergencies and medical paper sorting in my office, it was nearly a quarter past 6, and my shift is nearly over…so I began packing up my things and threw out my medical gloves on the way out of the hospital as I said goodnight to the ladies at the front desk and some other doctor friends of mine.
I came home to an unusual clean house, usually Alice has her fashion magazines scattered throughout the household and Emmett has his Cd's and mp3 laying around, but to my surprise there was no sight of them. I think I know who cleaned up-Alice.
"Alice?" I called through the door as I entered.
"You cleaned up the house I see".
"Well yeah,I had to do something on my weekend and I thought, you'd appreciate it Carlisle". She said with the world's biggest grin on her face.
"I really do appreciate it Alice" I said with a lit up smile, Which for me for the past few days was not abundant.
"You're welcome Carlisle, anytime" she said again with a huge grin.
"So, have you and the others been hunting yet?" I asked.
"Yeah, we went about half an hour before you came home, why?".
"No reason dear, just wondering". I said as I put my medical bag down on the wooden chair which later on would be placed in my bedroom for the next time I have to work.
"Where are the others?" I asked.
"Well Edward's in his room with Bella, talking like school girls and Emmett and Rose went out for a bit…I think they are having a vampire picnic in the woods". She laughed, and I didn't really get it, or know why.
"Ok well I'll just be in my office and I may watch Doctor's inc on tv later if you want to join?".
"Uh yeah sure". Alice said. I know Alice has been lonely like me now since Jasper Left. I don't blame her but she knows she has a wonderful family to talk to.
I got changed and spent only half an hour in my study then came down with Alice to watch this medical show that isn't very realistic but I like anything with Medical references in it. Which being a doctor like myself, isn't highly unusual.
Alice joined me on our large, comfy beige lounge.
'Previously on Doctor's inc' the voice on the tv said.
During the tv ads Alice and I started chatting like old pals.
"Carlisle, are you alright, like really alright". Alice asked. "I mean I hope you don't mind me asking and I don't expect you to be ok after all this but the others and I just want to make sure that you are not going through hell".
"Alice, I'm fine…really, I mean I wasn't at first, but It has been weeks and I have come a long way since then and no I don't mind you asking at all. I know you are just worried" I said reassuring her that I wasn't going to consider suicide, even though for vampires it is a little difficult to, and with my powerful vampire body. I considered it when I was first changed and when I realized what I had become, but I will never go there and be like that again, for my family's sake and the people I care most about and I couldn't abandon them know, they need me.
"I'm glad I asked Carlisle" .
"Me too dear". I said to Alice.
"You know that we will always love you no matter what choices you make, we are totally behind you a hundred percent". She said as she put a cold hand on my shoulder.
"I'm glad to hear that, Alice…thank you, You are my family and you know I would never give up on all of you".
"Yeah I know that Carlisle". She said as she laughed.
As they sat on the couch watching tv shows as Emmett and Rose came home to see them and Rose was spying on them a bit.
"What's up with those two lately"? Rosalie asked.
"Rose, they bonding and Alice is just comforting him…you know that".
"Yeah…I know Em". She said doubtfully.
They went upstairs together. Whilst Carlisle and Alice were still chatting on the couch. Keeping each other well deserved company.
"Carlisle"? Alice asked nervously. Which was odd.
"Do you think you will be able to…uh find love after Esme?"
"Well Alice, that's hard to determine but I think I will if I find that one person who can be the same as a soul mate, and even though Esme and I are at odds here I may still want her in my life, so no not now but once I figure all of this out, because no one is like Esme…there are people with the same personality type but no one that is really like her, she is still very special to me".
"Yeah I know that Carlisle". Alice said as she gave a disappointing smile. Like she was expecting—something else.
I spent all night after Carlisle and I had a talk, up in my room, thinking about Carlisle, I couldn't stop thinking about him, I know that when he first let me be a part of this family, even if he didn't change me, that I have a great appreciation for him. But I am coming to terms with realized that it may be more than an appreciation, but love…but there is no way I'm in love with Carlisle! He's so gorgeous and strikingly beautiful, but then again I probably didn't realize my feelings for him when I was with Jasper. And now that Jasper and Esme were out of the picture, this bonding time Carlisle and I have could become something more…Oh if I could sleep I'd be dreaming about him, His body, his lips…his- Then in my train of thought's Rose knocked on my door, so I let her in. She probably wants to borrow some lipstick or something.
"Hey Alice, mind if I talk to you". Rose asked.
"Yeah sure Rose". I said weirdly.
"Um...this may sound odd, but is there anything you know…going on with you and Carlisle"? she asked.
"Um…w-why would you think that"?
"Well, because I saw the way you always look at him, and you talk to him a lot…and I know your just comforting him but, is it more than that"? She asked, damn Rose loves gossip and girly crush secrets, let's just hope she keeps this a secret if I tell her.
"Um…if I told you do you promise not to tell a soul"?. I asked.
"Sure". She said as she licked her juicy lips at the thought of me telling her juicy gossip.
"Well, I think I'm in love with him". I blurted not so quietly.
"Oh my gosh…I knew it, Emmett's so blind, he said nothing was going on". She said as she laughed.
"You don't hate me for this, do you Rose"? I asked.
"No of course not, I think you too would make for an intriguing cute couple, and besides you can't help who you fall in love with". Rose explained.
"We have to work out a plan to get you to together". Rose said.
"Rose, what if he doesn't feel the same way?". I said a little bit worried to what she was going to do.
"Oh he does...He looks at you the exact way you look at him".
"How do you know all of this Rose?".
"Well, I have been observing your and Carlisle's behaviour the last couple of days". Rose confessed.
"Uh okay..i have no idea who to see to that, but seriously, you can't make him be with me, you know that right".
"Well I kinda can, he's been very down in the dumps about Esme and you're the only one he really talks to and smiles at…like really smiles like ,Esme didn't happen, why can't you see the signs Alice"? She said as she shook my shoulders to get me to realize all of what she was saying about Carlisle.
"Oh my god, you're right".
What Alice and Rosalie didn't know was that Carlisle was listening to everything they said, not with vampire hearing but because he was on the way back to his study and Alice's room is right next door…he didn't mean to listen in, but he just heard his name being mentioned, and he was wondering why Alice and Rose weren't caring about how loud they talk…if they even realized it. I cannot believe Alice knows I feel the same way. I didn't even realize these feelings I had for her, all this time. She really opened my eyes, and she makes me happy for since Esme left. And I'm glad Rose opened up Alice's eyes too. I think tomorrow after work, that I'll talk to Alice…She'll be really happy.
I made a final decision to talk to her after I got home from work, which was in two hours. I had left for the hospital about 5 hours ago and my shift was two hours away from being over.
I had a few encounters with bloody body parts, but I deal with them all the time, well of course I do in a hospital.
I got home after work to find Alice greeting me at the front door.
"Hey Carlisle", how was work?". She said with that huge, bubbly smile of hers that I adore.
"Work was great, as always, thanks for asking".
"Okay I'm just going to cut to the chase.…I'm in love with you…"
"Alice". He said as he smiled, like he was expecting me to say this.
"what?...Carlisle say something".
"Alice…I feel the exact same way, and truth be told I overheard your conversation with Rosalie and I felt to heart-warming and happy, Alice you make me happy. I never expected to feel happy…after Esme but you filled that void". He said as he poured his heart out.
_To be continued_