With the profiles out and all of the information out about the game besides the game itself(of course). I can finally get somewhere withe story. As you might know, they retconned the beginning of the intro of the first Borderlands as in all of the characters aren't close to the same age. I don't really feel like changing that in my story because Burch did not notice that the picture in the beginning hinted that they(The original Vault Hunters) all knew each other as kids and it kind of makes sense that they would because would you explore a crazy planet like Pandora looking for something like the Vault with complete strangers? Didn't think so. So my reasoning for the different origin is quite complex and kind involves the mixture of hard science(Theory of Relativity) and common sense. If you don't care and are willing to accept that this is an alternate continuity, fine. Just skip down the line and get your read on. If not or are willing to read it, do so. I will be re-adapting the origins when the supplemental material comes out about each Vault Hunter. I won't touch on much Roland after the DLC adventures are over since he has an entire book coming out soon.

Here is the hard science part: To explain why the characters are aged differently has to do with space travel or going faster than light speeds(FTL speeds for short). According to Einstein, time is relative. If I could apply it and something more practical, let's say that you decide to go on some space advenrture. Of course, we have to assume that you already have a ship that travels FTL(I won't explain just how fast it is. Just know that it is faster than light) and there is way to travel. So you go on this adventure for what seems to be for a few months and then come back. You notice that everything and everybody seems older. Why is that? Well for what is a few months to you has really been years past since your adventure. Going FTL means that you are literally going faster than time itself hence why the coin the term light years to measure distance between galaxies. So in a theoretical approach to the story, Lilith has done nothing but travel to and from Dionysus to investigate where and how she was born. Hence why she is the youngest compared to the rest when she finally decided to go to Pandora. Roland did a few tours from and into Promethia so he has spent the second most in space travel. Mordecai went straight to Artemis and stayed there so he has not really traveled much which why he is the oldest. Brick came straight from Menoetius years after the other three left hence why is somewhat disconnected from his childhood friends and is older than both Roland and Lilith but younger than Mordecai. Their age indicates just how much they traveled. Assuming that the profiles are indictive of how old they are in Borderlands 2, in this setting, Lilith is 22, Roland is 29, Brick is 31, and Mordecai is 34. In this setting they are all born in Menoetius.

Common sense part: The planet of origin is weird since they are all from different planets. Problem is that it has been stated that Promethia is uninhabitable and Roland could not have possibly been born there(The Lance did not have female officers prior to Mikey being the President of the corporation and 'enlisted' them in response to his sexist remarks in the Crimson Assassins). So he was not born there, but enlisted there. It is safe to assume that Mordecai went to Artemis in order to seek glory in response to the whole shooting contest and Lilith traveled from Artemis to Pandora.

Spoiler alert: If you did not know, I suggest you ignore this part. If you are still reading this, I'm assuming that you do not care what the spoiler is. Lilith was dating Roland. Don't ask how I knew before. I literally flipped a coin between Roland and Brick and Roland won. So yeah, consider this seemingly a matter of clairvoyance and that this is the first fan interpretation that saw the two hook up. I always found it weird that people always matched Lilith with Mordecai up. Maybe because Roland was black...Who knows.

Anyways, enjoy and I'm sorry for the heavy exposition.


"What the fuck, guys?" Lilith yelled at the 3 men. They were somewhat startled by her outburst and fully expected her to pull a gun on them. Sure, she could get away with killing them. Their DNA was already in the New-U Station and it is not like they would remember her actions when revived. She casually mentioned this before on the journey, but in a joking manner. "A bitch gets a few drinks and wakes up in a fucking horror movie."

"Look, Lilith" Roland tried to calm her down. He placed his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, but she was still visibly peeved. "We did not want to leave you behind so we just took you with us and…"

"You could not wait a few days to go on another grand adventure?" She threw up her hands and rolled her eyes. "I mean really. We are fucking millionaires. What exactly are we doing here?"

Roland immediately lowered his voice to a whisper and looked into her golden eyes, "I know. We should have waited until you were awake or at least ready. I should have briefed on the mission and I should have at least asked for your consent, but Brick was getting insistent and if I left you behind…"

Lilith closed her eyes and sighed before glancing over to the giant, "I understand."

Brick was downright murderous on any day without needing any reason to be. He would have not have hesitated to kill someone on a whim. Giving him a reason to be mad at you was most unwise. Throughout the journey, both Roland and Lilith promised to help find his sister after they found the Vault. They found the Vault, and now they had to live up their promise.

Roland still feeling apologetic tried to add a few words, "I'll brief you on the situation since I never got the chance to tell you. Don't worry. Before we left, I took it upon myself to clean you up."

"Roland, it is not a big deal…" Her eyes widened upon realization. "YOU DID WHAT?!"

"Are you two love birds through having your love spat?" Mordecai chuckled as he polished his Dahl Penetrator Sniper Rifle. "Too many things to kill and too little time."

"You stay out of this," Lilith roared at the sniper. She then re-diverted her attention to the burly dark skinned man. "Roland, why were you—"

Suddenly, a small robot approached Brick from behind and all the Vault Hunters turned their attention to it. It was a Claptrap.

"Greetings, misinformed zombie fodder!" The robot enthusiastically called them.

"Wait," Lilith was a little worried. "Did he just say zombie?"

"Misinformed?" Roland was more angered than worried.

"Fodder?" Mordecai quickly readied his weapon.

"GREETINGS?!" Brick bellowed in disdain and to the surprise of his group.

Claptrap continued unfazed by their reactions, "I am not affiliated with the Jakobs Corporation, but they hacked me to tell people like you that they would appreciate some assistance with the overwhelming situation with the living impaired."

"Oh hell no," Lilith turned around to go back to the transporter, but Roland grabbed her arm firmly before she could get anywhere.

"I should warn you though," the little robot waved his finger to emphasize that it was going to make a point. "That they'll suck your brain out of your cranial cavity like a Frappuccino if you get to close."

Lilith gazed at Roland with an expression that screamed 'Let's get the fuck out of here,' but he was unaffected. Mordecai seemed giddy at the prospect of killing something that was already dead. The behemoth still was uncertain what was going on and just wondered when the robot would get out of the way so he could kill shit.

"If you'd still like to help, I suggest you turn on the town's defenses…otherwise," the little robot started to make its retreat. "Frappuccino. Tootles!"

"Roland, what the fuck did you get us into?" Lilith screamed at the soldier.

"Jakobs did not specify exactly what they were having trouble with…" the former Crimson Lance soldier meekly defended. "I thought it was a pest control problem."

"Oh yes," Lilith placed a hand on her hip and made sure her voice oozed with sass. "It must have been too much to ask what the problem was, right?

"Why are you complaining?" Mordecai interjected and patted Brick who was looking down the pathway completely ignoring the quarrel between his friends. "This is an easy pay day. We just got to do what you do best."

The pink haired woman narrowed her eyes at the masked man with utter disdain, "And by that, you mean what exactly, Noodle?"

Mordecai sported a cheesy grin and chuckled, "Blow their heads off. I assume you had some practice with mi ami—"

Before the sniper could finish his statement, Lilith punched him dead in the nose and knocked him off his feet, "Say another word and I'll tie your skinny ass into a knot!"

"Whoa, everybody calm down," Roland stopped Lilith from un-holstering her weapon from her storage deck. "We have a job to do. You heard the Claptrap. If we want to make this trip worth it, we have to activate the town's defense. We can't do that if we turn ourselves into kill each other first."

Lilth gritted her teeth and pulled away from his grip. She turned around her back on the two. She begrudgingly sequined, "Fine. Whatever, let's get this over with."

Roland sighed in relief and then started to look puzzled again, "Where did Brick go?"

Lilith turned around and started gaze around as well, "How could we lose sight of a guy that is over 7 feet tall?"

Suddenly, they heard bloodcurdling roars and explosions being fired in the distance. All three of them smirked in amusement. Roland helped Mordecai up as the leader pulled out his Hyperion Destroyer Rifle. Lilith nodded towards the two and responded with an unleashing of her Hellfire SMG.

"See," Mordecai dusted himself and cocked his weapon. "He has the right idea."

All three of them went into a mad sprint towards the cacophony of violence passed the derelict trees and haunted terrain. As they followed the path, they heard all too familiar scream coming from the upper level of the terrain.

"AHHHHHHHH KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

Roland, Lilith, and Mordecai did not hesitate to take action. The climbed up the ridged hill and into the opening. They saw their partner tear through the undead horde with his bare fists in a swamp. However, the horse seemed to be endless. Roland immediately sent out his turret.

"Lilith, phasewalk into the middle of the horde and blow them sky high," Roland ordered and Lilith followed without any hesitation. "Mord, stay back here behind the turret and make sure Brick does not get the massage of death."

Brick continued to punch through the mob of undead with unbridled fury and rage. One after one, they would mindlessly walk into his ginormous fists and one by one they would fall with their heads detached or necks snapped upwards. The massive man started giggling like a possessed man-child as blood began to cover his attire. The sniper made sure nothing crept between his sights and Brick's back while taking every other opportunity to take a few shots at some undead that were far into the distance.

"You like that?" he would yell.

Roland mowed down any remaining zombies that Brick may have missed which was not easy because Brick was started to get surrounded by the horde. The experienced soldier threw out another turret to have more support fire on his side. Roland turned his attention to a sudden fiery explosion deeper into the horde. It was the Siren who started to light the remaining zombies on fire in the distance. The unloving numbers started to dwindle and eventually they were all gone.

"Hahahaha," Lilith chuckled to herself with a sense of satisfaction as Brick and Roland approached her. "I'm really good at this."

"Like I said," Mordecai hurried to his gathering partners. "Easy money."

The Siren shrugged in agreement and lightly punched the hunter in the arm.

"Alright," Roland interrupted their celebration. "Mission ain't over yet. We still have to activate the town's defense and we haven't even reached the town yet."

The pink haired woman rolled her eyes and smirked a little, "Oh come on, dude. It can't be that hard to pop a few zombies."


"Shit, shit, shit, shit," Lilith repeatedly yelled out as she fired shot after shot into the horde.

"Give 'em hell, Bloodwing," Mordecai called out as he deployed the bird in the mass of undead killing machines.

They were surrounded and fighting an endless amount of waves of zombies. Roland kept deploying his turret and healed anybody that needed it, but it seemed to be of no use. As soon as they arrived to their destination, they were met with a mass of zombies and have been fighting them off since their attempt to activate the town's defense. So far, the Vault Hunters have only had two of the three town's turrets online and even with that, support, they were still having trouble holding the undead off.

"The turret!" the fearful Claptrap called out. "It is not activating itself."

Brick snarled at the pestering robot," WE KNOW!"

"Oh! I wish I had evacuated!" the robot cowered into fear.

"Brick," Roland called out to the giant who was also becoming overwhelmed. Roland was still trying to maintain control despite struggling while putting led into an incoming Zombies. "I need you to make it to that turret."

"I'm trying!" the man retorted while shotgunning and punching his way through the horde. "But there are too many."

The situation was dire, but he had to do something. Maybe if the entire group moved as a whole towards the turret, then they can secure a position. However, where the turret was located was the problem. It was isolated away from the town and reaching it would make them vulnerable of being attacked. Also, there was problem with who was going to have to activate the turret. Roland and Mordecai were the only ones tech savvy enough to activate the turret. Mordecai may have been a more favorable choice to activate because he was flimsier of the two, but his long range specialty would be missed. Roland securing it would leave the group without a solid fortification out of the open. Roland knew that sending someone out there alone was not be good for neither he, Lilith nor Mordecai, so he tried to cajole Brick to go, but he could not make a dent though the horde.

"Please don't chew on my head. Please don't chew on my head..." the little robot began mantra.

As the group kept slaying zombie after zombie, Roland kept thinking of ideas and strategies to use and hopefully keep them alive. He glanced over at Lilith mainly to check if she was struggling since her incendiary ammo did nothing to undead flesh. Despite knowing this, she kept spraying her weapon knowing that her life depended on it. Noticing something, he had an idea.

"Lilith, I have an idea, but I don't think you'll like it," Roland called out as he butted on zombie with his rifle.

Lilith did not turn towards her leader as she too was preoccupied with not getting bitten, "I'm all ears. Your plans haven't failed us yet."

"I need you to Phasewalk through the horde and come out the other side. Then, I need you to lure them away from us," Roland gritted his teeth as fought off one of the lifeless bastards.

"Are you seriously considering using me for bait?"

"We don't have much of a choice and it will save our lives. Your Phasewalk ability needs about 30 seconds to recharge. That time will be enough for you to fight them off alone while we put the turret online. This will give us enough time to activate the final turret. Once you are able to use your ability again, you can simply re-use it and run back to safety."

Lilith contemplated the idea. She was unsure if she could fight off a hundred of them, but nothing else seemed to be working. All she needed to do was fight off the dead for 30 or so seconds. It sounded easy enough in the pink haired woman's head, but she also knew that in reality, the situation could be much more dire. But they really had no choice.

"Fine," she sighed begrudgingly agreeing with the man. She holstered her weapon knowing full well that she could not use it during the Phasewalk. "Just tell me when."

"On my mark," Roland kept unleashing led into the horde while covering Lilith.

"If I see any zombies over here," the robot interjected. " I'm gonna totally run, or something. I don't know what I'm going to do no zombie, please no zombies"

"SHUT UP!" Brick roared at the annoying robot.

Mordecai smirked at the new plan and stated while giving a zombie a new cavity hole, "Chivalrous to the end. Ladies first."

"More like 'bitches last,'" she retorted.

"Go!" Roland called out and Lilith entered Phasewalk. Her body turned into a translucent blue and she ran through horde completely unaffected by them. Roland quickly adapted to the missing member and unleashed another turret so it could not only resupply them, but make up for the loss of a squad mate. The behemoth of a man kept shooting and punching and Mordecai kept firing his was a blast in the distance in which Roland had calculated that it was Lilith unleashing her Phaseblast.

"Okay," Roland called out to the remaining Vault Hunters. "We have 30 seconds to make this work. Brick go crazy on them. Mordecai sic Bloodwing on the bastards. We have to make it to that turret before she dies. "

"Time for a meal, Blood," Mordecai, again, released his dastardly pet. The bird swooped through the mob and they started to set on fire. The bird set countless zombies ablaze one by one. This could only help the Vault Hunters.

"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD," the mammoth screamed. If the undead could feel emotion, they would be trembling right now. Brick unleashed a fury of fists and started cutting down the enemies. Both Mordecai and Roland fallowed behind him and covered him from the back. Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"20 seconds," Roland counted to himself as he kept spraying into the enemies. As a leader, he felt personal responsibility for his squad. He convinced Lilith to partake on the suicidal task on a whim. He got the crew into this mess. So the least he could do was to make sure that they came out of this alive. He was determined to make sure that his friends made it out alive.

They finally made it to the turret. Roland signaled to Mordecai to oversee it's activation. He checked if he could send out another turret, and saw that his cooldown period was over. He then unleashed yet another Scorpio turret,"Spray 'em and stay 'em."

The turret fired round after round into the walking dead carcasses. Roland kept spraying round after round until he found himself out of bullets. He switched his weapon to a Dahl Raven. He fired burst after burst into multiple zombies. He then noticed that time was up and glanced around for his comrade Siren. Seeing that she was nowhere to be found, he was worried. Mordecai was already done activating the turret and Brick's berserk rage was starting to subside. The three combined turrets were enough to pin the mass down and way from the town, but that was not Roland's chief concern. Where was Lilith? Did she need their help? Did Roland ask too much out of her? He scanned for her pulse on his HUD, but it was temporary out of commission due to the commotion.

"Shit!" Roland murmured to himself. He then started to run into the zombie horde.

Noticing his leader's rash behavior, Mordecai yelled, "The hell are you doing?"

"Lilith needs our help. I'm going to get her," Roland grunted as he drove his knife into a zombie skull. "No one dies with me in command."

"Are you crazy?" Mordecai slashed an incoming zombie's throat and started after Lilith. "If she is dead or dieing, just wait until the New-U revives..."

"No!" Roland blasted a zombies head off and started to push through. "No one dies under my command. NOT-"

Suddenly, a blue translucent figure emerged from the zombie horde. It immediately released a blast that pushed the zombies back and started to blast her weapon at them.

"Sorry, I'm late, guys," she yelled sardonically. "Found some sweet loot on the other side so I decided to help myself."

'The gall of this woman,' Roland thought to himself. She had him worried that she might have died and she just casually mentions that she made a little detour. Roland quickly adapted to the situation and started to back pedal into town while firing his weapon.

"No need to keep firing," Roland called out to his group. "The turrets can do the fighting for us. Head into town and get some R&R."


They waited for the town defense to finally cease, and until it did, Roland healed any wounds that needed to be healed. He was there Squad Leader and medic ,and he could not send them into battle wounded. When the turrets finally ceased firing, it was a sign that the zombies were all done for. There was an leery moment of silence as the Vault Hunters sat on the bridge awaiting their next move.

"Phew! That was intense. I'm sure glad I'm not made of tasty flesh like you!" the robot finally said breaking the silence.

"How reassuring," Lilith rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"What is our next move Claptrap?" Roland asked while wrapping a bandage over Brick's arm.

"The town should be safe for now, but if you really are going to solve this zombie infestation you're going to need to talk to Dr. Ned. He's been trying to fix the problem and I'm sure he could use a hand. You'll find him at his office down on the docks," the robot started to roll it's wheel into a particular direction. "I'll open the waterfront gate so that you can be on your way. Let's go!"

"Wait a minute," the Siren interjected making the robot stop in it's tracks. "Are we sure that we still want to take this job? It is obvious that Jakob's has no idea what is going on here or at least the scope of it since they would not want the public to know about it so there wouldn't be a transmission asking for help."

"That's the point," Roland responded while helping his wounded comrade up. "There is no one here to stop this. We cannot let this zombie infestation get out of control or it will affect the planet."

"So," Mordecai asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "We aren't getting paid?"

"No," Roland smirked at the hunter. "We are getting paid. We are blackmailing the assholes about the information that they don't want anybody else to know."

"She could have been one of them..." Brick somberly sulked. They all noticed his uncharacteristic depression and looked at each other.

Lilith reacted quicker than the rest, rubbed Brick's arm and reassured him, "Naw, Big guy. Your sister was too tough to let a bunch of undead bastards get the best of her."

"Assuming that getting bitten causes one to become one of them," Mordecai looked over at Brick's wound and readied his rifle.

"Not likely," Roland crossed his arms and leaned against the wooden shack. "I did not see any bite marks on the zombies and they already seemed dead."

"Of course, they are dead, Roland," Lilith scoffed as she turned to him. "They are zombies."

"But some of them seemed like they've been dead for years," Roland pondered. "I think it is just the ones who have already died that are becoming zombies and are killing the folks who were alive. This means that they aren't turning anybody and are just mindless undead killing machines."

"Great, now I can rest easy knowing they aren't able to turn people into a mindless husk and will just kill me," Lilith snorted.

"The amigo robot just said that someone is trying to cure this," Mordecai interjected. "I think we should stop talking and head his way."

Roland nodded and turned to the little robot. "Alright, lead us to this Dr. Ned."

The robot started to turn it's little wheel and kept moving to the direction it was headed. The Vault Hunters followed after him, but with slightly less eagerness. Of course, the jovial robot did nothing to ease their worries as they headed to their destination.

"It's really too bad that another group of poor adventurers are going to be zombie food," the robot half heartily sequinned as it kept on rolling.

Brick was not amused and was about to punt the thing into the sea, but Roland stopped him. Lilith did not notice this and only agreed with the robot, "I'm glad that I am not the only person who thinks that this entire thing is a suicidal."

The robot finally stopped at the gate and turned to his visitors, "And O," he stopped as if he contemplating his next statement. "Oh, you know the drill."

The claptrap opened the holographic gate and watched as each Vault Hunter entered.

"So long fearless travelers! Enjoy your stay at Jakobs Cove!"


The Vault Hunters made their way to their destination through the swap and hills. The night sky loomed over them as the traveled through the cove always alert to their surrounded. Eventually, they reached a lone shack.

"Must be his place," Mordecai looked down his sights scoping for any enemies. "Looks like there is no trouble around. Might be able to catch a break here."

"Stay alert anyways," Roland ordered. "We don't want any surprises."

They slowly moved towards the house and made it to the front of the residence. Roland signaled his squad to Mord to check on the door while everyone else guarded the parameter. The Hunter stayed alert as he slowly stalked towards the front door until he heard a loud screech.

"Knew this was too easy," the Hunter mumbled and quickly turned to fire his rifle.

Flying animals soared at the Vault Hunters and the mercenaries responded with gunfire. But they were extremely hard to hit. Figuring that they should fight fire with fire, Mordecai sent his trust companion, Bloodwing after them and it made short work of the birds.

Satisfied with it's performance after it's display, he rewarded the bird with a treat, "Atta boy."

Brick ignored the pet master and his pet and headed towards the front door of the lonely shack. He furiously knocked on the door, but nobody was home.

Lilith approached the front door and saw a piece of paper hanging off of it. She picked it and started to read it. As her eyes scanned the page, she was starting to angrier with every line, "Well that is fucking great."

"What is it?" Roland inquired to her. She responded by handing him the note and then placing her hand on her hip.

Roland started to read it out loud for everybody to hear, "Screw this. I'm not hanging around here to get killed. I can protect myself better at home. If any fool finds this, I'm at my place in the bayou. Good luck reaching me, though. Just stay away. It's safer if you don't try to get to me."

"Wow, so he retreated to the personal safety of his house?" Mordecai non-nonchalantly said as he petted Blood as it perched on his arm.

"Selfish much?" Lilith snorted as she crossed her arms.

"Okay," the ex-soldier tucked the note in his pocket. "He is at the bayou so we just have to-"

"Hello fearless zombie killers," Claptrap interrupted through the EchoNet. "There are more missions available on the Jakob's Cove bounty board."

"We might as well get paid," Mordecai suggested.


So here is the first chapter in the story. I decided to cut it short for reasons such as Borderlands 2 coming out on Tuesday and not wanting to work on this shit and school at the same time(Borderlands 2 is my first priority of course). Review, get naked, and get strange if you want.