A/N: Read the author's note below for clarification, okay? Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Razia's Shadow, or its characters.
Enjoy. Read and review, please.
I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. That day, so long ago… Why didn't you listen to me? None of this would've happened! You were so naïve…
I sometimes find myself by your bedroom, waiting for you to open the door. I await the "Good morning's," the "Good night's," and the "Pallis, can you tell me the story of Holy the Sea's?" Sangara said I'm losing my mind… I told him it's long gone.
I long for the comfort of having you to talk to… I've only left the castle once, in hope of interaction with the townsfolk. They said I was a mess and walked away. I can't blame them.
I still hate her, you know. I refuse to utter her name. She took you from me. Love can be blinding, or so I've heard. That was probably the case for you.
I should've done more to stop you from leaving… I hope you realize I was right. I told you that it'd be your demise, but you were too foolish to listen. I, however, can't hate you. It is my fault that you are dead.
The last time I spoke was a week ago, when I told Sangara that my mind was long gone. The last time I ate was three days ago. I am forced to drink. I haven't left my room after I returned from the time with the townsfolk. That was four weeks ago. Every time someone knocks on my door, I look up at it, in hopes it'd be you. I know I act childish when that happens, but I don't care.
An odd thing happened. That witch came. She came to the castle. Sangara - the idiot- allowed her in! He escorted her to my room, and let her enter it! She didn't talk, and neither did I… We were both probably looking for the right words to say. I don't hate her anymore, brother. In the silence, I lost all hatred towards her. I hope this makes you happy. I'll speak her name, too, if that makes you even happier. I'll do anything for you to be happy. Anhura. Her name is Anhura, and she stills loves you. She still hates me, I suppose. I understand, though. If she didn't hate me, I would take it as a sign that she doesn't love you anymore.
I miss you. I hope I've made that clear. If you remember anything about me, I hope and pray that it has to do with how much I love and miss you. I am, after all, your older brother. I killed you, and I will never forgive myself. I miss you… Adakias.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed… Sorry for all the angst and randomness. Think of this as a diary, and each paragraph is an entry. (I'm sure some of you will still be confused.) Expect more Razia's Shadow fanfics from me, okay? I plan to make it popular. :D It needs so much more attention. Okay, I'll leave you with this. I'm going to type a lot today, so look out for stuff.
Once again, please review.